Fame is a fleeting fox that outruns most. Sometimes, notoriety outshines its own spotlight. Whether through the casting couch or blood, sweat and tears, the occasional performer will squeak through to the other side and achieve a modicum of accolades. Some are worthwhile, while others are unbearable. We all have that irritating nitpick of an actor who occasional, and suddenly, pops up in a movie just when the getting is good, and it swerves the car completely off the road. "Who invited this guy?" we ask ourselves, hoping s/he gets killed off before we have to get up out of our seat and ask for our money back.
It's a mild irritation, all things considered.
And then there's that very special group of actors who simply don't belong in movies at all. Yet there they are, begging us to watch them, vying for our attention before they are quickly whisked off to the $5 bin at K-Mart or a "Because you Watched This" queue on Netflix. Let's face it. Movies weren't meant for everyone. And this group has proven they don't have the gas to keep any vehicle running. Maybe their talent resides somewhere else. Maybe they accidentally got into show business. Or maybe they simply had an attention-grabbing fluke right out of the gate that never paid off in the long road to longevity.
Whatever the case may be, here is a big group of grumbling thespians that stridently put the OR in actor, as in..."Or, maybe you should do this instead." Check out our list of entertainers that we never need to see in another movie again. Ever.
Daniel Lawrence Whitney, better known to most as Larry The Cable Guy, has become the headlining act on the Redneck stand-up circuit, taking the nickname The Freight Train of Comedy. He serves the lowest common denominator, appealing to slack-jawed yokels who like their jokes southern fried. A sampling of his punchline etiquette reveals this corndog delight of a guffaw: "I love McDonalds. I get the same thing every time I go...Diarrhea!" There's no denying that the man has stage presence, and he can sell out concert halls in the Deep South 356 days a year. But when it comes to turning that prowess into box office gold, the man has been less than successful. It doesn't help matters that he's played a guy named Larry in all of his attempts at big screen glory (with the exception of the animated tow truck Mater in the lucrative Cars franchise, where he goes sight unseen.) Things started off bad when he took his stage persona and parlayed it into the almost unbearable Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector. This was followed closely by Delta Farce, his second role as a 'Larry', a poorly titled spoof of the Iraqi war, which saw fellow rednecks Bill Engvall and DJ Qualls being mistakenly dropped into Mexico, where they bust out their guns against opposing forces to hilarious effect. That double feature combined should be enough Larry to last a lifetime. But he didn't stop there! Next, he made a sorta-sequel to Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector with Witless Protection starring opposite Jenny McCarthy, an actor who'd pretty much reached the dregs of her acting career at the time. You'd think Larry would have known to call it quits, and its unclear just how beloved this trilogy of comedies is amongst his fans. But, hey! He does have this legacy, he owns it, and we're good. We don't need any more. Sadly, and without reason, Daniel Lawrence Whitney decided he needed to star in one last movie, the Netflix mainstay Tooth Fairy 2, which seemed to put that final, much needed nail in his big screen coffin. With plenty of live shows, Christmas specials, and stand-up hours yet to come, Larry doesn't need to be investing in theatrical real estate to appease his masses. When it comes to movies, Larry just can't seem to Git-R-Done. Weirdly, though, he does have yet another movie coming out, and it is a doozy of a role in Tyler Perry's a Madea Christmas. Chew on that fat for a minute. I'll think you'll agree, we never need to see Larry The Cable Guy in another movie ever again.
Do you agree or disagree? Is there anyone here you ever need to see on the big screen again? Do you have someone you can't stand to look at when you pay big bucks for your perfect seat at the cinema? Let us know your thoughts. If we hear enough complaints about a certain actor or performer, maybe we'll just have to revisit this list with a part 2.
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