“Alexander The Not So Hot”
Everything we're told about Alexander remains an abstraction, an index-card idea for a character pasted onto Farrell's less-than-mythic presence.
Owen Gleiberman - Entertainment Weekly
Puerile writing, confused plotting and shockingly off-note performances make Oliver Stone's epic film a disappointment.
Manohla Dargis - New York Times
This is Stone's weakest movie of the past 20 years, and it's unlikely to make any kind of blip.
Mike Clark - USA Today
It's boring here and exciting there. And it's almost always goofy.
Desson Thomson - Washington Post
Alexander, as expressed through the weepy histrionics of Colin Farrell, is more like a desperate housewife than a soldier.
Stephen Hunter - Washington Post
Alexander is pulled in so many directions that both Farrell's performance and the character are stretched thin.
Wesley Morris - Boston Globe
Stone seems to identify with the slaughterer general, in whatever era he's in.
Michael Atkinson - Village Voice
Farrell plays all this as if he means it, but he seems slight in the role and without great physical presence.
Jack Mathews - New York Daily News
Stone's failures with this film are largely honorable, but occasionally he miscalculates and strikes so badly off-key that he seems tone deaf.
Eric Harrison - Houston Chronicle
Alexander has aspirations of greatness, hoping to be christened an intellectual super-spectacle for brainy moviegoers. The sad truth is that it will probably numb more brain cells than it will stimulate.
Philip Wuntch - Dallas Morning News
Visually dramatic but persistently tepid, Alexander doesn't make a convincing argument for its extravagant resources.
Lisa Kennedy - Denver Post
Stone rises to his own challenge.
Logan Hill - New York Magazine
Sluggish, unsmiling, and almost as limp as the feather fans with which our heroes are gently aerated on their trip to the Hanging Gardens of Babylon.
Anthony Lane - New Yorker
An ambitious and sincere film that fails to find a focus for its elusive subject.
Roger Ebert - Chicago Sun-Times
Even if it doesn't conquer its world, Stone's Alexander is worth the battle. Like JFK and Fourth of July, it hot-wires history and politics into a wild, memorable, breathtaking ride.
Michael Wilmington - Chicago Tribune
So misconceived, so shrill, so fetishy is Oliver Stone's epic, so unintentionally hilarious a stew of paganism and Freudianism, that it makes Conan the Barbarian look like Gladiator.
Carrie Rickey - Philadelphia Inquirer
This movie does everything to the max.
Jeff Strickler - Minneapolis Star Tribune
This is a movie almost totally devoid of feeling or any sense of connection.
Tom Long - Detroit News
I respect Stone as a filmmaker, but this movie is punishment rather than entertainment.
Bill Muller - Arizona Republic
At a reported cost of $155 million, Alexander qualifies as a super-spectacle in every respect but one -- namely in its neurotic, confused and sexually ambidextrous hero.
Andrew Sarris - New York Observer
A lunk-headed train wreck that looks like a tag sale in a 323 B.C. supermarket in old Peking.
Rex Reed - New York Observer
An intelligent and ambitious picture that crucially lacks dramatic flair and emotional involvement.
Todd McCarthy - Variety
As huge a travesty and a bore as 1956's Alexander the Great, in which Richard Burton looked equally uncomfortable as a blond.
Lou Lumenick - New York Post
Stone and his team of screenwriters paint an incomplete picture of the man and those he led.
Roger Moore - Orlando Sentinel
Not just a bad movie but a bad movie of truly epic proportions.
Geoff Pevere - Toronto Star
Call it Alexander the Grate, because, over the marathon of its three-hour running time, this wonky epic really does get on your nerves.
Rick Groen - Globe and Mail
Seems too puny and fragmented for its mighty subject; it feels as if Stone, for the first time in his career, simply ran out of hot air.
David Edelstein - Slate
Although some aspects of Oliver Stone's sword-and-sandals epic are worthy of mention (and even praise), they are dwarfed by the missteps and examples of bad judgment.
James Berardinelli - ReelViews
The storytelling is so ham-fisted as to induce titters.
Kirk Honeycutt - Hollywood Reporter
A long, lumpy trip with a charismatic guide and some brilliant detours.
Richard Corliss - TIME Magazine
Though the battles have the blood-and-sinew bravado you expect from Oliver Stone, this three-hour buttnumbathon is hamstrung by a hectoring grandiosity, not new to Stone, and a nod toward caution, which is.
Peter Travers - Rolling Stone
There's nothing fresh about this plodding endeavor, nowhere it goes that other films have not gone before.
Kenneth Turan - Los Angeles Times
For the lucky few that see this without ever having viewed the first cut, they may wonder what all the criticism was about in the first place.
Jeff Otto - ReelzChannel.com
Alexander the person was great. This movie isn't.
Nell Minow - Common Sense Media
General mistakes all across the board contribute and reinforce each other to bring it down
Garth Franklin - Dark Horizons
This is ultimately "Alexander" as written by Danielle Steele...
Felix Vasquez Jr. - Cinema Crazed
Stone doesn't present characters that the audience can believe in, even for one moment, as representative of their historic roles.
Cole Smithey - ColeSmithey.com
Devin Faraci - CHUD
Jim Lane - Sacramento News & Review
This oracular piece of hero-worship is perhaps the squarest film yet from this once-hip director.
Rob Gonsalves - eFilmCritic.com
Joe Lozito - Big Picture Big Sound
Stone gives us some truly stirring visuals, music that soars and charges more often than not, and, um, performances that . . . Well, um, okay, about those performances . . .
Peter T. Chattaway - Christianity Today
Dean Essner - Time Out
Unwieldy and flawed, but Stone remains a tornado in an era of airless formula and -- to paraphrase our Ptolemy -- its failings are greater than most films' successes.
Ian Nathan - Empire Magazine
Dean Essner - Sydney Morning Herald
Interesting but flawed film about a fascinating character.
Forrest Hartman - Reno Gazette-Journal
By summoning his inner classicist, [director] Stone has made an excruciating disaster for the ages.
Scott Tobias - AV Club
Alexander limps along from one fancy set to another.
John J. Puccio - DVDTown.com
John J. Puccio - Movie Metropolis
Dean Essner - Bullz-Eye.com
'Como obra cinematografica, no es la pesima cinta que han destrozado. Es la simple interpretacion de un talentoso cineasta sobre la vida de una leyenda de la humanidad'
Jorge Avila Andrade - Moviola
The picture is so thoroughly ridiculous, it's hard to know where to begin in listing its infelicities. But I'll try.
Kurt Loder - MTV
The film's sense of drama and tension makes the experience alive and palpable.
Jimmy O - Film Snobs
An overview of an intensely passionate life as few film-makers could bring it to the screen.
Boyd van Hoeij - european-films.net
Big, grand, messy. If you enjoy a nice slice of Hollywood miscalculation every now and then--and who doesn't--you might have a good time.
Christopher Smith - Bangor Daily News (Maine)
A garbled, over-stuffed turkey force fed with historical events until its liver explodes in a spectacularly colourful and violent bloodbath, tempered with sinewy speeches.
Urban Cinefile Critics - Urban Cinefile
By the time its three hours are over, you will feel as exhausted as Alexander at the end of his epic campaign - but not as enriched.
Anton Bitel - Movie Gazette
Colin Farrell is woefully miscast in the lead, but that's the least of Alexander's problems because the film is a disaster on an epic scale: sprawling, messy, incoherent and an early contender for one of the worst movies of 2005.
Matthew Turner - ViewLondon
Oliver Stone revela uma decepcionante tendencia para o melodrama.
Pablo Villaca - Cinema em Cena
Overly-verbose; one of the year's 10 worst
Fr. Chris Carpenter - Catholic Sun
Despite flashes of vivid imagery and charisma, Alexanderis nowhere close to 'great'.
Nathaniel Rogers - Film Experience
Much like this hero, who is confused and lacks a center, Stone's epic story does not have a core to its vision, too often drifting aimlessly through time and space.
Steven Snyder - Zertinet Movies
As the titular conqueror, Colin Farrell shows the limit of his screen presence as he falters in such big boots and winds up face first in the sand.
Stella Papamichael - BBC
If you like good war films, if you like good history epics, if you like good romances and good stories with great performances, then this film won't disappoint.
Michael Szymanski - Zap2it.com
It's all Greek to me
Tony Toscano - Talking Pictures (U.S.)
An unmitigated disaster, Oliver Stone's sprawling Alexander is an unbearable 173 minute alternative to Chinese water torture.
Gabe Leibowitz - Film and Felt
Much like the title character himself, this is an endeavor that strives for greatness but is too burdened by its own ego to live out the full potential.
David Keyes - Cinemaphile.org
Alexander goes on far too long, and Colin Farrell as the military leader just doesn't live up to the high praise given him in the opening scenes.
Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat - Spirituality and Practice
Bad cinematic and casting choices abound, but what keeps it compelling and watchable is Oliver Stone's keen eye for how youthful, talented men live fast and die young.
Nick Rogers - State Journal-Register (Springfield, IL)
There is a great movie buried in this cacophonous mess
Rich Cline - Shadows on the Wall
If [Troy] was a Pitt-fall, this is a stumbling Stone.
Lori Hoffman - Atlantic City Weekly
One of those magnificent train wrecks of a movie in which the director's vision drowns in a torrent of his own unbridled excess.
Robert Roten - Laramie Movie Scope
Ponderous to a fault, a good-looking production that just sort of sits there looking self-important despite the violence and intrigues basic to the story.
Michael H. Price - Fort Worth Business Press
You know the movie is bound to be swill: imperialist daydreams indigestibly stewed together with limp Oedipal anxiety and unpersuasive pacifist lip service.
Nick Davis - Nick's Flick Picks
It occasionally fumbles and it sometimes feels downright hokey, but it cumulatively earns a feeling of gravity and reverence that fully justifies its extended running time.
Jeremy Heilman - MovieMartyr.com
Whipping a battery at the screen would have accomplished nothing -- but I haven't ruled out a drive to LA so I can whip a battery at Oliver Stone.
Jonathan R. Perry - Tyler Morning Telegraph (Texas)
Makes you wonder where [Alexander] found the time, what with all the moments of self-doubt and blubbering-oh, the endless blubbering.
Mark Dujsik - Mark Reviews Movies
A moitie reussi, a moitie rate.
Louis-Jerome Cloutier - Panorama
The amused twinkle in Anthony Hopkins' face suggests he knows he's crossed the line into parody with Ptolemy's memories of a conqueror "born from the loins of war."
John Wirt - Advocate (Baton Rouge, LA)
Shouldn't there be more to Alexander than nutty parents and homosexual leanings?
Daniel Eagan - Film Journal International
I have a confession to make: I gave up on this movie. By the time the second hour was up, I realized that I was no longer paying attention.
Mike McGranaghan - Aisle Seat
Alexander is an Oliver Stone movie first and an historical/action epic second.
Mark Palermo - Coast (Halifax, Nova Scotia)
little more than a well-mounted, but hollow history lesson that is the very antithesis of what its means to be bold
James Kendrick - Q Network Film Desk
Maybe it's just me, but it seems like a movie celebrating the life of the greatest military conqueror the world has ever known should feature a bit more conquering.
Pete Vonder Haar - Film Threat
The sad thing about Alexander is that, despite its marathon running time, you learn so little about him and his accomplishments.
Bob Bloom - Journal and Courier (Lafayette, IN)
After a career of epic biopics, the director of JFK, Nixon, and The Doors has managed to take one of the most fascinating men who ever lived and turn his life into a confusing, overlong, and patently unremarkable ordeal.
Peter Debruge - Premiere Magazine
It's just a wild, glorious, wacky mess that I found really entertaining.
Richard Roeper - Ebert & Roeper
A lavishly turgid toga fest.
John P. McCarthy - ReelTalk Movie Reviews
It's like being in school, pinned down by a monotone teacher; most of the movie gives off an almost irresistible urge to nap.
Jeffrey M. Anderson - Combustible Celluloid
I would rather be bored learning about the history of Alexander the Great than enthralled by the exploits of Spider Man. Your mileage may vary.
Mark R. Leeper - rec.arts.movies.reviews
Alexander looks great... Unfortunately...when the characters start talking, it all falls apart.
Daniel M. Kimmel - Worcester Telegram & Gazette
Could be the neo-con film of the year, as Alexander's armies march through the East 'to free the people of the world...'
John Beifuss - Commercial Appeal (Memphis, TN)
It's astounding that the ingenious creator of JFK and Wall Street could make an epic on war and empire that's so utterly simplistic and unreflective.
David Sterritt - Christian Science Monitor
bad acting, atrocious dialogue and some truly misconceived directorial decisions
Sean McBride - Sean the Movie Guy
Alexander meet Ivan; you're both terrible
Jackie K. Cooper - jackiekcooper.com
This movie is darned near as long as the wars that Alexander the Great fought.
Linda Cook - Quad City Times (Davenport, IA)
It boggles the mind at how badly Oliver Stone messed up "Alexander." An incredible story, exceptional actors and a seemingly limitless budget...**
Angela Baldassarre - Sympatico.ca
A great thunderous wreck, loud as a gong and just as hollow.
Rob Vaux - Flipside Movie Emporium
...a boorish and bloated costume epic that has all the exciting appeal of a prolonged high school social studies lesson during the thankless hazy days of summer
Frank Ochieng - Movie Eye
[Alexander] is too long and lacks the action needed to sustain the attention required.
Robin Clifford - Reeling Reviews
Monumentally ambitious, Oliver Stone's Alexander accomplishes the twin objectives of the epic biopic.
Annlee Ellingson - Boxoffice Magazine
It is, in a word, boring, and that's the most un-Oliver Stone adjective I can think of.
Marc Savlov - Austin Chronicle
A flop of massive proportions, Alexander is a diffuse and incoherent historical epic that fails to engage intellectually or emotionally.
Emanuel Levy - EmanuelLevy.Com
Dean Essner - Boston Phoenix
But still, story is opaque. We never really get to know any of the characters all that well. Alexander's story would be better as, say, a six hour miniseries...
Eric Lurio - Greenwich Village Gazette
Dean Essner - Baltimore Sun
Eventually, the movie's psychologizing of Alexander's motives turns tedious.
Cynthia Fuchs - PopMatters
I predict that Alexander's one achievement will be as the most walked out on movie of the year.
Joshua Tyler - CinemaBlend.com
Doesn't earn the right to be three hours long
Marty Mapes - Movie Habit
Oliver Stone's take on the life of Alexander the Great is overblown, underdeveloped and one of the worst films of 2004.
James Rocchi - Netflix
A lugubrious, self-important history lesson that gives free rein to all of the director's worst qualities while admitting none of his artistic saving graces.
Steve Schneider - Orlando Weekly
Like Martin Scorsese's Gangs of New York, Alexander is an overindulgent, sprawling specimen of the director's lavish strengths and harrowing weaknesses.
Phil Villarreal - Arizona Daily Star
One of the year's authentic disasters, the kind of shlockbuster that at first invites derision, then, as the hours drag on, pity.
Gary Thompson - Philadelphia Daily News
Ironically, there is little in Oliver Stone's dream project that marks it as an Oliver Stone film
Laura Clifford - Reeling Reviews
The battle scenes are bloody wonderful, but the rest of it plays out like a badly edited three-hour History Channel bio featuring pretty people.
Dean Essner - E! Online
Dean Essner - St. Louis Post-Dispatch
Ultimately stumbles and falls, much like the horses in the battle scenes. But it is an interesting failure, always brimming with life.
Joe Baltake - Sacramento Bee
It's a perplexing muddle: Every moment of spectacular battlefield action is offset by unintentionally hilarious scenes from Alexander's private life.
James Sanford - Kalamazoo Gazette
Epic in scale but not epic in spirit, a wallow in carnage that fails to demonstrate what was so great about this conqueror, after all.
Mick LaSalle - San Francisco Chronicle
Here's something I never expected to say about a big-budget Oliver Stone film starring Colin Farrell, Angelina Jolie and Val Kilmer: It's dull.
Moira MacDonald - Seattle Times
Watching this film is like going to a bad history class where the teacher is a poor storyteller.
John Venable - Supercala.com
A thudding bore, when what it should have been is an operatic testament to unchecked ambition.
Scott Foundas - L.A. Weekly
The epic Troy [&] King Arthur wanted to be.The difference is that Oliver Stone has a clear vision.He knows you can't do everything & he knows what he wants.
Fred Topel - About.com
While it's never boring, the film's entertainment value lies in all the wrong places: ridiculously staged grand tragedy, overblown acting and a lot of inadvertently campy humor.
Ken Fox - TV Guide's Movie Guide
Alexander - The Not-So-Great. There's nothing like a Greek tragedy to stir up emotions - only here the scenes that should grab your attention are spoiled by overkill.
Cherryl Dawson and Leigh Ann Palone - TheMovieChicks.com
A spectacular mess, with no real focus or driving force.
David Elliott - San Diego Union-Tribune
Consistently undisciplined and frustratingly unfocused.
Glen Oliver - IGN Movies
Disjointed and lacking in thematic clarity, Alexander offers too few of the satisfactions we've come to expect from historical epics.
Robert Denerstein - Denver Rocky Mountain News
Historically accurate (minus one key point) but was Alexander really so weepy? What about his extravagant lust for bloodshed?
Victoria Alexander - Movie Reviews in Croatian
Even when I didn't like Alexander, I was aware that this is a serious work by a forceful and important filmmaker with a distinctive tone of voice.
Ken Hanke - Mountain Xpress (Asheville, NC)
Far too long, nearly three hours, yet feels superficial.
Mary F. Pols - Contra Costa Times
'When (Farrell) is giving his troops a rousing speech the first image that popped into my mind was Bill Murray energizing his fellow camp counselors in "Meatballs."'
Michael A. Smith - Nolan's Pop Culture Review
The Macedonian Candidate
Rob Nelson - City Pages, Minneapolis/St. Paul
How nice of Uncle Oliver to have brought the turkey.
Jeffrey Bruner - Des Moines Register
Ancient Greece was never this boring.
Boo Allen - Denton Record Chronicle (TX)
...has all the makings of a camp classic, including the crucial element: deadly serious intentions.
Josh Larsen - Sun Publications (Chicago, IL)
...it seems fairly clear that [Alexander's] life just isn't interesting enough to warrant an entire movie (particularly one that runs almost three hours).
David Nusair - Reel Film Reviews
An absolute mess.
Bob Strauss - Los Angeles Daily News
Farrell - in short skirt and silly wig, covered in fluids and frequently weeping - looks less like a Greek hero than a Greek Row pledge during a Hell Week hazing.
Sean Means - Salt Lake Tribune
This movie is unremittingly dull, visually unappealing, narratively muddled, inadvertently campy, wretchedly performed -- and that's just for starters.
Matt Brunson - Creative Loafing
Like its subject, Stone's Alexander travels on gut instinct and ego, but, unlike him, it seems to have little notion of exactly what it wants to conquer.
Terry Lawson - Detroit Free Press
A sweeping historical epic that confirms Oliver Stone's position as one of Hollywood's master storytellers and Colin Farrell as a major movie star.
Louis B. Hobson - Jam! Movies
[A] disaster of a film, three hours of butt-numbing tedium punctuated by moments of hilarious high camp.
MaryAnn Johanson - Flick Filosopher
Stone appears to be assembling this ... jigsaw puzzle on the fly. There are more bottom-out scenes than high points. He drags it out for almost three backside-numbing hours.
Larry Ratliff - San Antonio Express-News
It's as if Stone deliberately were creating a parody of all the cornball biblical/historical spectacles in the history of the movies.
Arthur Lazere - culturevulture.net
You could literally chop Alexander up into six 30-minute blocks, reassemble it at random, and the movie would make the exact same amount of sense (i.e. none).
Scott Weinberg - eFilmCritic.com
There's no joy here, no fun, no excitement. It's a 178-minute-long wall hanging.
Robert W. Butler - Kansas City Star
There's nothing that quite compares to the pain of passing a kidney stone... except perhaps Oliver Stone's Alexander.
Kevin Carr - 7M Pictures
The drippy romantic death-bed dialogue reads like it was swiped from an episode of 'One Macedonian Life to Live.'
Donald Munro - Fresno Bee
An overstuffed Thanksgiving turkey: a tedious, uninspiring, repetitious historical epic filled with sappy symbolism and overt homosexuality
Susan Granger - www.susangranger.com
Filled with cringe-inducing, laughter-provoking moments, including more deliciously overripe performances than any single movie can possibly contain.
Jeff Vice - Deseret News, Salt Lake City
Ponderous, fails to make us really care for Alexander, and is even more directionless than the Great one wandering about Asia after seven long years.
Brian Webster - Apollo Guide
Often skates dangerously close to camp (less forgiving viewers will find the movie hysterical), but the director's daringness to play things so boldly has a grand appeal of its own.
Rene Rodriguez - Miami Herald
An act of hubris so huge that, in Alexander's time, it would draw lightning bolts from contemptuous gods. Today it will get sniggers from stunned critics and a collective yawn from a public unlikely to share Stone's egomania.
Lawrence Toppman - Charlotte Observer
If you're in the mood for a lavishly mounted, well-researched evocation of a distant time and place, featuring a charismatic cast and stunning battle scenes, Alexander will satisfy your needs very nicely.
James Verniere - Boston Herald
'By the glorious man-meat of Apollo,' Colin says, 'this film is creaking to its final scene!'
Mark Ramsey - MovieJuice!
In the case of Oliver Stone's long re-telling of the short life of Alexander the Great, a few words will do: not so good.
Thomas Delapa - Boulder Weekly
The whole enterprise has its soul sliced out by Stone's overwrought stylization.
Bruce Kirkland - Jam! Movies
Feels like a turgid throwback to those overblown epics of the fifties and early sixties.
Timothy Knight - Reel.com
Alexander the So-So
Staci Layne Wilson - Fantastica Daily
Pretty much a mess, an alternately turgid and florid movie that feels like a drugged-out version of a Cecil B. DeMille epic.
Frank Swietek - One Guy's Opinion
Alexander is Oliver's most stupidly awesome (and awesomely stupid) movie since The Doors.
Sean Burns - Philadelphia Weekly
Even at the end of three hours, the accents still never stopped being an annoyance.
Rebecca Murray - About.com
A dull, humorless mess with nothing to say about Alexander.
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) - St. Paul Pioneer Press
While Alexander certainly isn't great, it's not nearly as bad as many would have you believe.
Chuck O'Leary - Fantastica Daily
A passionate, character-driven work of sinew and gristle.
Duane Dudek - Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
A sprawling epic that truly sprawls.
Eleanor Ringel Gillespie - Atlanta Journal-Constitution
With its rampant homoeroticism, elaborate costumes and jumbled fight choreography, one would assume this is a Joel Schumacher flick not an Oliver Stone production.
Jon Niccum - Lawrence Journal-World
It is such a majestic disaster, that I have a bizarre sort of affection for it, like for a weirdly deformed child, maybe.
Eugene Novikov - Film Blather
Alexander is unavoidably a problematic epic, but it has integrity and deserves an audience willing to engage in Stone's dialogue.
Peter Canavese - Groucho Reviews
Much of Alexander plays like a Monty Python sketch, and much of it plays like an SCTV parody. Little of it plays like an epic.
Jeffrey Westhoff - Northwest Herald (Crystal Lake, IL)
Farrell often looks constipated, like he needs to get off that horse and hit the commode as opposed to hold onto his troops or his audience.
Susan Michals - FilmStew.com
As if Stone was trying to one-up the legendary Great himself by going all over the map, he reaches for so much and dies so early.
Erik Childress - eFilmCritic.com
Time, it has been said, waits for no man-a fact I was keenly aware of two minutes into the nearly three-hour debacle that is "Alexander."
Jeffrey Lyles - Gazette (MD)
An enormous cinematic mess. Alexander is not so much mind-numbingly boring as it is intriguingly nonsensical.
Dustin Putman - DustinPutman.com
Oliver Stone's biopic of Alexander the Great is spectacular, earnest and a bit of a yawn.
Jan Stuart - Newsday
Boldly acted, absorbing and satisfying as a history lesson.
William Arnold - Seattle Post-Intelligencer
A ponderous death march of a story that seemingly never ends.
Paul Clinton (CNN.com) - CNN.com
Represents everything that's wrong with the big, bloated Hollywood pseudo-epic: Too much with the lavish and not enough connecting with viewers
Jon Popick - Planet Sick-Boy
A horrendously bad movie, a genuine 40-car pile-up of literally epic proportions, a three-way head-on collision of bad writing, bad acting, and bad direction.
Nell Minow - Movie Mom at Yahoo! Movies
A swollen behemoth of a celluloid monster -- sometimes mildly interesting, but most of the time downright boring.
Frank Wilkins - ReelTalk Movie Reviews
Listless, uninspired film.
Phoebe Flowers - South Florida Sun-Sentinel
Instead of flowing one into the other, the scenes from Alexander's extraordinary 33 years of life too often come at the filmgoer like turned pages from Ptolemy's book.
Jack Garner - Rochester Democrat and Chronicle
Our history teachers may have been bores, but at least the bell rang before us students became comatose.
Harvey S. Karten - Compuserve
So awful that it's almost good.
Scott Nash - Three Movie Buffs
This is not so much a film as an amorphous blob that has suffocated the idea of a film somewhere within its vast and gooey structure
Andrea Chase - Killer Movie Reviews
Nixon in sandals.
Thomas Peyser - Style Weekly (Richmond, VA)
Despite a budget reportedly north of $150 million, Stone fails to make war on an epic scale, preferring to allow Alexander to talk the world to death.
Bruce Newman - San Jose Mercury News
Makes its big screen debut with all the pomp and circumstance expected of most sword and sandal epics...
Eric Moro - Now Playing Magazine
Oliver Stone doesn't just create trainwrecks. He knocks the train off the rails, sets it on fire, then kills every person onboard. (And takes three hours to do it.)
Eric D. Snider - EricDSnider.com
(CNN.com) Paul Clinton - CNN.com
Steve Rhodes - Internet Reviews
A big misfire, a big bore, and a big fat waste of time.
Sean O'Connell - Filmcritic.com
Towards the end of this movie, I wanted to kill Alexander just to get it over with and go home. Even Rosario Dawson's supposedly stunning nudity was over-hyped.
Willie Waffle - WaffleMovies.com
Steeped in an all-consuming aura of audacious indulgence.
Jeanne Aufmuth - Palo Alto Weekly
It's been five years since Stone helmed a feature film, and the question must be asked: has anybody missed him?
Brian Orndorf - FilmJerk.com
Mel Gibson has his 33-year-old martyr with which to identify, now Oliver Stone has a 33-year-old-minus-one-month one of his own.
Walter Chaw - Film Freak Central
It's anybody's guess what Oliver Stone was thinking by making a film about Alexander the Great that skips over nearly every historical event that earned him that moniker.
Rob Blackwelder - SPLICEDWire
Alexander the Great will have to wait for another time and another director before justice can fully be achieved
John A. Nesbit - Old School Reviews
The real Alexander the Great conquered the world. Oliver Stone's touchy-feely-weepy Alexander would be lucky to last three rounds against Margaret O'Brien.
Tony Medley - tonymedley.com
If there ever was an historical figure deserving of study for what he accomplished in expanding empire and political geography, it would be Alexander leading all others.
Jules Brenner - Cinema Signals
This half-cocked creation is ostensibly about the Macedonian king but doubles as an allegory for both George W. Bush’s political career and Stone’s own struggle with history.
Ed Gonzalez - Slant Magazine