Armored Review

"Wow! Isn't Armor Suppose To Protect You From Negative Objects, Not Send You Any?"

Damn, this movie is the worst movie of the ye...No wait 12 Rounds already took the place of worst movie of the year. Well, in that Armored has to be the second worse movie of the year. How the hell do you get one of the most simplest action clinched plot and screw it up with bad dialogue, dumb directing, and just completely dumb overall. Okay, let me clear it up for you. How do you have a movie that stars Morphius, The Professional, Billy Loomis aka Scream killer, Sucre from Prison Break, the cool dancing guy that likes to stomp, and well Matt Dillon, a damn good actor and get a bad movie out of it. I just don't get that. All of a sudden I'm getting a bad feeling about the Expendables. No, no, no, bad thinking, bad thinking. The Expendables will be the most kick ass thing ever made.

See, this is exactly why I dislike this age of regular cable tv shows. I remember back when HBO showed nothing but special presentation movies that would never get a release date. I know if it was still like that, Armored would have definitely been shown on HBO or something instead of getting an actual release, no matter how many stars were in it.

Basically, if you've seen the full trailer you've seen the movie, and I mean that literally. You can actually tell what's going to happen next, not only because of the trailer but because this movie's so outrageously stupid. After walking out of this movie, I thought I was a freaking psychic. If you wanna know, well, then it's about a new guard who gets in with his co workers to help them steal money from there company, which is a armored truck service. The new guy goes along with them until a homeless gets shot and killed by one of the drivers. He locks himself in the truck and suddenly the movies turns into a watered down Panic Room rip off, which is worse than you think because Panic Room is also a terrible movie, but I'll take any kind of room after watching this garbage.

When I said this movie was dumb, I don't just mean the story. I don't even mean the realistic factors or anything like that. When I say dumb, I mean the characters do the most idiotic things I've ever seen. I almost wanted to yell at the screen. Hopefully, you haven't seen this movie and don't intend to. I can't believe I actually thought I would be entertained by this. The armor has a big ass crack in it.

  • Story

  • Acting

  • Directing

  • Visuals

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