“What Was Diesel Thinking Doing This Movie?!”
“"I Wish The Director Had His Way"”
“"Pity The Director"”
“How Many Times Can You Say Bad?”
“70 Minutes Cut Against The Director's Wishes - And I Think It Shows.”
“Omg!!!!!!! What Omg!!!!!!”
“The Good And The OK”
“You'll Be Leaving The Theater Scratching Your Head And Wondering "What Just Happened?"”
““Babylon A.D.” Is Indeed Violent And Very Stupid”
“No Mercy For The Weak”
“Vin Diesel Is Back!-)”
“One Of The Lamest Sci-Fi Action Flick I've Ever Seen”
Babylon's plot is a lumpy mixture of The Fifth Element and Children of Men, while its dystopian future references Blade Runner, Dune, and The Matrix.
Adam Markovitz - Entertainment Weekly
The only explicable thing about Babylon A.D. is that it was not screened in advance for critics.
A.O. Scott - New York Times
You don't need to have a grudging affection for Vin Diesel to appreciate this dunderheaded comic-book adventure - although, obviously, it helps.
Xan Brooks - Guardian [UK]
When this Vin Diesel vehicle isn't pointlessly frenzied, it's narratively inert, wasting some decent production design, and a French-flavored cast primed for fun.
Tom Russo - Boston Globe
An abysmal French thriller in which everyone -- Diesel included -- speaks as if they've learned their lines phonetically.
Elizabeth Weitzman - New York Daily News
A must-see only for fans of snowmobile chases.
Cliff Doerksen - Chicago Reader
A noisier, costlier version of Children of Men, yet lacking that film's social-political significance and jaw-dropping direction.
Jordan Mintzer - Variety
'I'm very unhappy with the film,' the director recently told an online magazine. Join the club.
Jason Anderson - Globe and Mail
Think of it as Sunset Bloodsport with Jean-Claude as Norma Desmond.
Grady Hendrix - Slate
This is a case of a potentially epic tale being pruned and diced to the point where its underlying ideas are reduced to trite cliches.
James Berardinelli - ReelViews
[A] futuristic mess of biblical proportions.
Michael Rechtshaffen - Hollywood Reporter
Babylon feels like an almost random pastiche of good and bad. There may be a deadly virus, or genetic engineering, or a virgin birth, or some combination of all, it's not clear.
Michael Ordona - Los Angeles Times
To put it bluntly, Babylon A.D. is a cluttered mess. Characters have been under developed, realtionships have no chemistry, and its conclusion feels rushed and leaves too many unresolved questions.
Matthew Pejkovic - Matt's Movie Reviews
Hank Sartin - Time Out
Violent actioner is dull, dreary, and defective.
James Rocchi - Common Sense Media
A joyless mess of a movie.
Anders Wotzke - Cut Print Review
Anders Wotzke - Moviedex
There are moments here that are spectacular, and there are many more that are spectacular failures.
David Cornelius - DVDTalk.com
Kakostimeni apopeira foytoyristikis klotsoperipeteias, me metaiores senariakes akrobasies, tsoyhteres eksarseis melodramatismoy, asygkratites aythairesies metafysikoy kai enohlitikes omoiotites me to Pempto Stoiheio (1997), poy dinoyn neo noima stin euro-
Joseph Proimakis - Movies for the Masses
With bland protagonists and power figures unpleasant enough for us to want them out of our sight more than we want them defeated, it doesn't do much to hold our interest.
Brian Webster - Apollo Guide
Skip it aggressively.
Ben Mankiewicz - At the Movies
I unfortunately had a seat that faced the screen and I have two hours of my life that I will never get back.
Ben Lyons - At the Movies
Dean Essner - Irish Times
I call it (sneeringly, natch) the 'New Nihilism,' but, to be fair, it's really just the old, Franco-Prussian existential angst hole ratcheted up and dumbed down for our not so brave new world.
Marc Savlov - Austin Chronicle
As if the gruff dialogue isn't bad enough, the action scenes are merely adequate.
Gary Brown - Houston Community Newspapers
This occasionally lavish, often clunky venture is consistently watchable if not terribly memorable or distinctive.
Lisa Nesselson - Screen International
Strap yourself in for some pure violence and stupidity.
Paul Byrnes - Sydney Morning Herald
Whatever happened to Mathieu Kassovitz, the French actor director whose amazing film La Haine made such an impact 13 years ago?
David Stratton - At the Movies (Australia)
With a messy storyline and screenplay to boot, the film feels disjointed and lacking true punch.
Dean Essner - FILMINK (Australia)
If Kassovitz really believed he had a classic in the making, why didn't he take a stand and nix the casting of Diesel while he had the chance?
Leigh Paatsch - Daily Telegraph (Australia)
It's as though the film's final act was accidentally deleted on the digital editing console.
Jim Schembri - The Age (Australia)
With his face like a squashed doughnut, and physique like the tyres of a huge truck, Diesel just doesn't inhabit the same planet as Rampling or even Kassovitz himself.
Ruth Hessey - MovieTime, ABC Radio National
Mathieu Kassovitz is making a determined challenge for the stylish French sci-fi thriller crown of Luc Besson with this highly effective, highly charged action movie, even though he has had to rather mangle the novel on which it is based
Andrew L. Urban - Urban Cinefile
It's unclear which is worse -- to so liberally steal from films like Children of Men and Minority Report, or to be so offensively dumb in the process.
Bruce Bennett - Spectrum (St. George, Utah)
Por piores que sejam os problemas presentes nos dois primeiros atos do filme, estes nem se comparam aos pavorosos 20 minutos finais, que parecem ter sido montados de qualquer maneira para concluir a narrativa rapidamente.
Pablo Villaca - Cinema em Cena
The fact that Aurora incarnates some extreme other possibility -- be it "light" or darkness, miraculous birth or genocide -- makes her one more "mother of the future."
Cynthia Fuchs - PopMatters
Loses the few bits of intriguing groundwork it lays amidst a cacophony of mangled editing, lethargic performances, and an utterly unfocused and often contradictory narrative
Garth Franklin - Dark Horizons
...an unruly disaster.
Jim Lane - Sacramento News & Review
It's the kind of film that's such a waste of time and resources, you have to wonder why it was made in the first place.
Ethan Alter - Film Journal International
'Oh well,' said Vin, as the lights came up and the crickets sang their lonely song, 'there's always my moving company: '2 guys and Vin Diesel will move you.''
Mark Ramsey - MovieJuice!
No matter who's responsible, the movie is a dud -- one so sped-up and illogical, it's almost painful to sit through.
David Schmeichel - Jam! Movies
It will provide a fix of mindless violence, but that's about it.
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) - St. Paul Pioneer Press
"xXx meets Blade Runner"...far from the worst film of the year and plays quite well as a bare-bones genre film. I think it'll find a new lease of life on DVD.
Clint Morris - Moviehole
You know a film doesn't have a lot going for it when even its director isn't exactly thrilled with the final product.
Adam Tobias - Watertown Daily Times
There's a lot to not love about the film...[but it's] one of the most thoughtfully designed post-apocalypse futures put on film in years.
Tim Brayton - Antagony & Ecstasy
'Babylon A.D.' has ideas, but they are hopelessly lost in a story with no interior logic.
Rossiter Drake - San Francisco Examiner
Sure it's a bad film, but what makes it worse is the ending, which is the worst of the year.
Jeff Bayer - The Scorecard Review
it's impossible to get excited about a movie when the leading man looks bored.
Sean McBride - Sean the Movie Guy
I didn't even understand the title, much less the rest of the movie
Jackie K. Cooper - jackiekcooper.com
Much mayhem, brawling, dubious CGI, close encounters of the sexual kind and mystical gibberish ensue. Little of it makes sense. Less of it is exciting.
Ken Hanke - Mountain Xpress (Asheville, NC)
Even if it never finds an audience outside L.A., someone ought to write a book called When Dull Films Happen To Clever Production Designers.
Keith Phipps - AV Club
The final third is a stretch of moviemaking so utterly lacking in coherence and competence that Ed Wood himself would have been embarrassed to have had his good name attached to the results.
Peter Sobczynski - eFilmCritic.com
Without whatever strident critique Kassovitz intends, it's a typical B action movie -- the inevitable pseudo-warm bonding scenes deadly, the fights largely incoherent -- with the occasional pleasing set-piece.
Vadim Rizov - L.A. Weekly
For all its generic qualities, Babylon A.D. is well acted, briskly paced and consistently clear: Like Neil Marshall's Doomsday, it's bare-bones genre entertainment, no better or worse than it ought to be.
Maitland McDonagh - TV Guide's Movie Guide
I almost feel bad for Vin Diesel, a genuinely nice guy who has reached the end of his rope as far as his career is concerned.
Felix Vasquez Jr. - Film Threat
People that love Sci-Fi films will probably find a few things to like about it, but those looking for a slick production better look elsewhere.
Austin Kennedy - Sin Magazine
Did we actually NEED a brain-dead action version of Children of Men? I say no.
Scott Weinberg - FEARnet
Jennie Kermode - Eye for Film
I found myself sorta not hating it, and sorta fascinated by it, for about 45 minutes or so. Alas that the movie's about 90 minutes long.
MaryAnn Johanson - Flick Filosopher
It's no surprise that the movie is bad and offers nothing of value to paying customers.
Geoff Berkshire - Metromix.com
You know what? I like Vin Diesel. And I'm glad to see he's back in action movies instead of junk like "The Pacifier."It's a shame that this isn't the movie it could be.
Linda Cook - Quad City Times (Davenport, IA)
While Babylon A.D. isn't the worst big-budget sci-fi film ever made, it comes near enough to merit avoiding at all costs.
Rob Vaux - Mania.com
Who recut it, Stevie Wonder?
Rob Gonsalves - eFilmCritic.com
A dreadful tedious science fiction mess with aspirations that are destroyed in a haze of terrible dialogue and an impossibly hazy directorial style...
Felix Vasquez Jr. - Cinema Crazed
It's all terribly muddled, jumbled and oddly inert, considering the amount of things that explode and other things that go bang
Andrea Chase - Killer Movie Reviews
Susan Granger - SSG Syndicate
So bad it will make you nostalgic for The Pacifier.
Frank Swietek - One Guy's Opinion
So overwrought and over-serious that it never really engages us, and all of the laughs feel unintentional.
Rich Cline - Shadows on the Wall
Babylon AD is a Blade Runner/Fifth Element wannabe which doesn't have the budget to match its ambitions.
Dean Essner - Sun Online
A huge mess of a film that has many ideas behind it, but finds only poor ways to execute them.
Marco Cerritos - Boxoffice Magazine
When your source material is as derivative and silly as this film's to begin with, you a have the perfect recipe for an all-mighty turkey. No wonder Kassovitz is hiding on the beach.
Orlando Parfitt - IGN Movies UK
Babylon A.D. is a bad, bloated big-budget science fiction film that doesn't even have the distinction of being memorably horrible or fascinatingly inept; it's simply a lump of product, a failure too expensive to simply discard.
James Rocchi - Cinematical
Whether the fault lies with a script crying out for further drafts before shooting, or a cheap studio shutting off its director's creativity in order to save a buck, the dubious result remains the same. Babylon A.D. is a mess.
Dustin Putman - DustinPutman.com
As a notch in Vin Diesel's action film belt, it serves its purpose. But come Halloween, I doubt anyone is even going to remember this film existed.
Kevin Carr - Film School Rejects
this is one time when audiences will wish the world ended sooner. A lot sooner.
Bill Gibron - Filmcritic.com
Hard to believe, but there was a time when the phrase 'starring Vin Diesel!' was more of a promise than a threat.
David Rudge - Total Film
Unfortunately, an abbreviated running time seems to have been the studio's primary concern, with...an infuriatingly truncated ending that appears to be missing about 30 minutes worth of plot
Luke Y. Thompson - E! Online
French director Mathieu Kassovitz was once touted as the next Scorsese, thanks to his gritty debut, La Haine. Alas, this action-adventure epic suggests he has settled for being a Hollywood wannabe.
Charlotte O'Sullivan - This is London
The trailers for the film are WAY cooler than the actual movie itself. The acting was so bad that I honestly felt like I was watching a FIRST reading of the script.
Kevin McCarthy - WJFK-FM (CBS Radio)
Seems simply like the aftermath of an artistic apocalypse.
Nick Schager - Slant Magazine
The staleness of the script is reflected only too accurately in the kind of action sequences that most of us have seen dozens of times before. Not even Diesel can power this one.
Christopher Tookey - Daily Mail [UK]
He does, however, leave the door open for a sequel. But who'd want to clone a runt?
Elliott Noble - Sky Movies
I can't decide what is most confusing - the nonsensical plot, the participation of Michelle Yeoh, or the fact that Vin Diesel's voice has somehow dropped another register.
Josh Larsen - LarsenOnFilm
If the eventual director's cut DVD proves this movie to be a masterpiece, then I'll be first in line to buy it. Given what's currently unfolding on the big screen, however, it's no wonder the director is so eager to disown it.
Alonso Duralde - MSNBC
Babylon A.D. is adrift, lost somewhere between the demands of a profit-manic studio and a passionate, unleashed director. There's no way great cinema could emerge from that combustible mix.
Brian Orndorf - BrianOrndorf.com
Fairly terrible techno-punk action flick.
Tim Robey - Daily Telegraph
Unfortunately, a 'Matrix'-style shoot-out offers a glib, violent solution to what is otherwise an intriguing emotional conflict.
Nigel Floyd - Time Out
Christopher Smith - Bangor Daily News (Maine)
This is just a tired sci-fi adventure that is adapted from a hefty French novel, Babylon Babies, that had to be more interesting and original than what's on the screen.
Stephen Schaefer - Boston Herald
I still have no idea why we were following around most of the people in this movie, and I don't think the actors in it do either. If they don't know what they're doing then it's doubtful you will.
Joshua Tyler - CinemaBlend.com
Kassovitz creates a grungy dystopia, but the action has the crazed, over-edited ruckus of a death-metal video and the top "international" cast is notable only for being miscast.
Anthony Quinn - Independent
It's utter codswallop, yet enjoyable if you unplug your brain.
James Christopher - Times [UK]
Babylon A.D. is a poorly-assembled sci-fi melodrama bereft of excitement or intelligence that will only remind me of the director's earlier, better film because its translated title echoes my sentiments about this one - namely, hatred.
Todd Gilchrist - IGN Movies
The film's makers clearly aren't big on originality, taking an old concept, asset-stripping a bunch of better movies and hoping nobody would notice. Given the few people who are likely to pay to see Babylon A.D., they might just get their wish.
David Edwards - Daily Mirror [UK]
Babylon A.D. has its moments and is never less than watchable, but it's ultimately scuppered by a disappointing finale. Approach with caution.
Matthew Turner - ViewLondon
Brawny but brainless techno-twaddle.
James Dyer - Empire Magazine
The story makes little sense - least of all why Charlotte Rampling's Priestess doesn't just treat herself to a few Dalmatians and call herself Cruella De Vil.
Victor Olliver - Teletext
The future looks a lot like the past (or at least like past movies) in this lazily derivative SF action flick.
Anton Bitel - Film4
Kassovitz second American film is as disappointing as Gothica but for different reasons. The actioner, which opened in France, suffers from weak script, lack of unified vision and other problems of productions with international casts.
Emanuel Levy - EmanuelLevy.Com
More murky travelogue and hi-tech apocalyptic tall tale than crystal ball thriller terror ride, Babylon AD and its own destiny appear lurching toward Babylon DVD, prophetically much sooner than later.
Prairie Miller - NewsBlaze