G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra Review
“I Feel Like A Fucking Idiot For Liking This Fucking Movie!!!”
March 25th, 2013
"G.I. Joe: Rise Of Cobra" Review- Rise Of Cobra is like a big juicy cheeseburger that you eat and you know that it is bad for you and at first it taste good but the after taste is just bad!!. This is G.I. Joe:Rise Of Cobra, It offers too much plot, too much characters that movie tries to force you to like or relate to by giving you annoying backgrounds for some characters like Duke and Bareness was going to get married and Bareness and Cobra Commander are siblings. The movie also tries to hard to be too many things at once so everybody can enjoy it such as Star Wars, Transformers, Black Hawk Down, and sometimes choose whether it appeal to the new generation of Joe Lovers like myself or the old school fans of the franchise, but the movie have a hard time choosing which one it these movies that its trying to mimic to where you quickly become confused on whether you like it or hate it. Especially the costumes that the characters wear as the seem to be a rip-off of Power Rangers because the movie claims that the rubber suits that the Joes where are bulletproof but really they seem to be a last minute resort for the characters to dress like heroes, especially Snake-Eyez as his costume designs definitely screams "Power Rangers" to where his costume is to rubber and for some reason There are SOME scenes where I did fine myself enjoyed by the movie, such as the moments where Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow fight scenes and The Paris chase scene which I thought was bought fun to watch as it's probably a good heart pounding action that the movie does deliver as these two moments are the only thing that stands out from making me give the movie a full on "FUCK YOU" rating. So, "G.I. Joe Rise Of Cobra" is a mindless movie that doesn't add nothing new because it tries to be too serious with itself, confuses you by trying to combine other film franchises, and trying to appeal to the new or old Generations of Joe lovers to where it lacks in heart pounding action that the movie offers you but instead gives you boring situations to where you will fall asleep on. I Definitely feel like a dumbass for liking this shit in my youth and I was 14 when this came out in theaters and I defended the movie for what I thought it was especially when the came out on d.v.d i defend it then but now I regret it.
Rating(s) 3/10-or-Some Ol'Bullshit