“Shows A Young Hemingway As A Prissy Guy, Not The Macho Man We Know”
Ms. Suvari's Catherine is so extravagantly monstrous that Mr. Huston's David, who provides a desultory narration, comes across as an inert nonentity.
Stephen Holden - New York Times
The resulting sangria cocktail is mild, unchallenging, and kinda dull.
Michael Atkinson - Village Voice
It just seems like a bunch of actors playing dress-up.
Cary Darling - Dallas Morning News
Vet British helmer John Irvin's mannered, bloodless and appallingly thesped filmization of Hemingway's posthumous novel, though unlikely to set the author rolling in his grave, may still have viewers rolling in the aisles.
Ronnie Scheib - Variety
Everybody flirts with everyone else as director John Irvin pours on a level of shopping-mall-gift-shop-kitsch that would shame Wayne Newton.
Kyle Smith - New York Post
Better than it might have been yet still a definite letdown, a literary B-side turned into something not awful, just forgettable.
Mark Olsen - Los Angeles Times
Sex has never felt more repellent after watching Eden, a clumsy effort of eroticism and psychological gamesmanship that's utterly devoid of structure and feeling. It's an awful picture.
Brian Orndorf - BrianOrndorf.com
The question that occurs is not whether director Irvin hates actors but rather, how much. We can imagine him shouting to the cast: 'Once more, with less feeling. Get shallow! Can't you do worse than that?'
Kimberly Gadette - Indie Movies Online
In this Riviera vacation atmosphere, all sun, sand, and skin, the dialectic of opposites the film attempts to enforce instead melts down to little more than kinky foreplay.
Jesse Cataldo - Slant Magazine
A soft-core, Jazz Age skin flick masquerading as high art.
Robert Levin - Critic's Notebook
Papa, they've done you wrong again, in this dreadful, miscast Hemingway adaptation.
David Noh - Film Journal International
A borderline terrible movie that plays like a parody of a Hemingway story.
Robert W. Butler - Kansas City Star
a sexy psychological thriller much better suited for a younger crowd than the literature buffs who may be drawn to it.
Blake French - Filmcritic.com
The acting rings false and the clothes, rooms, and locations never feel lived in. You always feel aware that you are on a movie set watching actors perform.
Beth Accomando - KPBS.org
Nothing will protect the audience from this dreadful film except to stay far away from the few theaters unwise enough to show it.
Marshall Fine - Hollywood & Fine
A veteran director, the attractive lead performers and some stunning settings cannot bring credibility to this inherently stilted story.
Fr. Chris Carpenter - Movie Dearest
With Hemingway pictured as a wuss and laughable acting, could this be intended as camp?
Tony Medley - Tolucan Times
'Hemingway's Garden' of Eden will restore no luster to the celebrity writer-adventurer.
Donald J. Levit - ReelTalk Movie Reviews
The dialogue and plot in Garden Of Eden are rendered clearly and precisely, without a lot of fine shading. The result is a movie that's all surface... all silly, silly surface.
Noel Murray - AV Club
Flirts with camp, but stifling boredom ultimately trumps any unintentional hilarity.
Geoff Berkshire - Metromix.com
This is not just lesser Hemingway; it's the worst of him.
Michelle Orange - Movieline
The quality is not on par with feature-filmmaking.
Cole Smithey - ColeSmithey.com
Shows young Hemingway as a prissy guy, not the macho guy we know, but the dialogue is not credible.
Harvey S. Karten - Compuserve