“A Crappy Laughfable Remake”
A museum of gory, joyless, easy shocks.
Gregory Kirschling - Entertainment Weekly
The set design is fairly elaborate by the standards of the genre, and the victims don't die in precisely the order you might expect, but everything else goes pretty much according to formula.
A.O. Scott - New York Times
When the cast starts wondering where the roadkill is, someone says, 'Follow the smell.' Good tip: That's how you'll know where Wax is playing.
Mike Clark - USA Today
You'll be rooting for these people to get slaughtered out of sheer boredom.
Desson Thomson - Washington Post
This movie gives it to you, as no movie has in some years.
Stephen Hunter - Washington Post
The acting in House of Wax ranges from bad to worse.
Wesley Morris - Boston Globe
First-time director Jaume Collet-Serra lingers over the victims at lengths discomfortingly gratuitous even by slasher standards. But he also demonstrates a droll touch.
Benjamin Strong - Village Voice
A remake in title only, this House of Wax is mostly inspired by The Twilight Zone and the Friday the 13th movies.
Jack Mathews - New York Daily News
Yet for a so-called exploitation film, Wax is slow to exploit. Its leisurely setup is a fright-challenged snooze, and at nearly two hours it's bloated for a slasher flick.
Bruce Westbrook - Houston Chronicle
House of Wax is not a good movie but it is an efficient one, and will deliver most of what anyone attending House of Wax could reasonably expect, assuming it would be unreasonable to expect very much.
Roger Ebert - Chicago Sun-Times
The remake of House of Wax anchors itself firmly in the time-honored tradition of horror exploitations.
Robert K. Elder - Chicago Tribune
House of Wax is a sturdy and cohesive representative of what tends to be a flimsy and tawdry B-movie genre.
David Hiltbrand - Philadelphia Inquirer
There is not one redeeming moment in this movie, unless you consider Paris Hilton stripping down to her underwear and getting killed redeeming.
Tom Long - Detroit News
A by-the-numbers slasher flick.
Scott Craven - Arizona Republic
The characters are about as intelligent as their waxen alter-egos, making it impossible to care too much about what happens to them.
Scott Foundas - Variety
The movie would have been creepier if it had shut us inside the museum, and given us more creative wax-based killings instead of revisiting familiar slasher-flick stuff.
Kyle Smith - New York Post
A standard-issue 'dead teenager movie.'
Roger Moore - Orlando Sentinel
A very stupid, very nasty and very messy horror film.
Peter Howell - Toronto Star
The original was shot in 3-D; this, by contrast, is 1-D all the way.
Rick Groen - Globe and Mail
Filled with the usual contemporary horror staples, most notably lots of rusty torture implements and cellphones that tend to scurry mischievously out of reach just as the villain bears down on his prey.
Stephanie Zacharek - Salon.com
It's nowhere near as punishing as Rob Zombie's House of 1,000 Corpses, but it's increasingly tense and resourceful and, in the end, it gets the sick job done.
David Edelstein - Slate
A horror movie can get away with a lot, but once it crosses a certain line, it is insulting to viewers. House of Wax crosses that line.
James Berardinelli - ReelViews
Characters are rote and unremarkable, plot devices predictable and the camera cheats by sticking close to actors so a viewer cannot see from where the next shock will come.
Kirk Honeycutt - Hollywood Reporter
Hilton runs the gamut of emotions from A to A-minus, and the others look desperate to forget that this dazzlingly dumb debacle will be on their resumes.
Peter Travers - Rolling Stone
Related to the 1953 Vincent Price film in name, embalming technique and Warner Bros. pedigree only, the new House of Wax is a dreary, predictable tale.
Kevin Crust - Los Angeles Times
Brent Simon - Shared Darkness
A 2005 review of this picture would've registered more shock from me...
Bill Chambers - Film Freak Central
A stupid, brainless, and pointless horror installment with all the usual characters, and pretty bad acting all around...
Felix Vasquez Jr. - Cinema Crazed
Urban Cinefile Critics - Urban Cinefile
Bob Grimm - Sacramento News & Review
Dean Essner - Time Out New York
This Wax's infusion of Paris Hilton and flirty teen sex comedy retreads might have sent original wax maniac Vincent Price into spontaneous meltdown, without the need of heating fluid.
Prairie Miller - Long Island Press
Not just fun and funny (don't forget, Paris Hilton's in it), but it's also surprisingly frightening.
Kevin Allison - Film Journal International
Garth Franklin - Dark Horizons
full review in Greek
Joseph Proimakis - Movies for the Masses
Dean Essner - Time Out
Dean Essner - Empire Magazine
Apparent kills are left unverified, handy firearms are left untouched, and the group splits up a record four times, ensuring most of these dolts will never see the dawn.
Pete Vonder Haar - Film Threat
Mal actuada, mal editada, previsible de principio a fin y sin terror alguno de por medio, es una de esas cintas que deberian haberse quedado en la fase de proyecto.
Jorge Avila Andrade - Moviola
Now, if you can just stay sane until the actual slasher portion of the flick takes off, you might be okay.
Widgett Walls - Needcoffee.com
It's a bloody, messy little throwback that unintentionally brushes against fetish since it eventually dips so many of its hotties in hot wax.
Christopher Smith - Bangor Daily News (Maine)
House of Wax aims low and hits the mark. It has all the gory bloodshed you could ask for and all the right special effects.
John J. Puccio - DVDTown.com
John J. Puccio - Movie Metropolis
Dean Essner - AV Club
After one gets past the trendy casting of Paris Hilton, this above-average horror flick actually surfaces from the bloody pit of remakes clutching a few decent ideas.
Jeffrey M. Anderson - Combustible Celluloid
The whole thing is vacuously enjoyable, downright nasty in places and, despite the fact that the ending is rushed, has a pretty spectacular finish.
Harry Guerin - RTE Interactive (Dublin, Ireland)
Dean Essner - Sydney Morning Herald
Dean Essner - St. Louis Post-Dispatch
The film's storyline has more in common with Manos, The Hands of Fate than the original House of Wax.
Uri Lessing - eFilmCritic.com
This is a well-made film with a lot more gore than you're expecting and a lot less humor than you're expecting.
Bill Clark - FromTheBalcony
It adheres strictly to teen-slasher formula before simply melting away.
Todd Jorgenson - Denton Record Chronicle (TX)
David Edwards - Daily Mirror [UK]
Qualquer filme no qual Paris Hilton se revele a figura mais sensata certamente tem algo de muito errado.
Pablo Villaca - Cinema em Cena
Paul Greenwood - Future Movies UK
Meanwhile, the audience wonders when Paris Hilton will be eviscerated for their enjoyment.
Shay Casey - FilmFocus
Anton Bitel - Movie Gazette
[House of Wax] gleefully trots out all the cliches of the genre before going out in a blaze of glory with a truly spectacular final act.
Matthew Turner - ViewLondon
Makes up for its idiot plot with a gallon of gore.
Jamie Russell - BBC
Plastic Paris looks right at home in this melted down remake.
Jackie K. Cooper - jackiekcooper.com
...a throwaway thriller...Serra conjures up a pseudo-sizzling frightfest that's not imaginative enough to force a dead tick off a shaggy dog's hind leg.
Frank Ochieng - Movie Eye
This isn't so much a remake of the 1953 classic as a standard slasher movie grafted onto a familiar title.
Rich Cline - Shadows on the Wall
As far as gory, twisted, sharp-stick-through-the-f---in'-head slasher flicks go, the new House of Wax ain't too shabby.
Steve Newton - Georgia Straight
We'll always have Paris. But for almost an hour, we endure these dumb children bickering, wandering aimlessly, insulting local hayseeds, and not having sex. That's hot.
Sean Burns - Philadelphia Weekly
Gives new meaning to the term "snuff film."
Thomas Delapa - Boulder Weekly
Serra brings the universal fear of disfigurement an old fashioned treatment, with natural pacing and a lack of abrasive special effects (until the terrific looking climax.)
Mark Palermo - Coast (Halifax, Nova Scotia)
OK, guys, let's just cut to the chase: Paris Hilton does not bare all in "House of Wax." That said, the show isn't as awful as I had anticipated.
Linda Cook - KWQC-TV (Iowa)
Fright films that deliver the shocking goods with noticeable dashes of wit and style are so hard to find these days, even a flawed one such as House of Wax deserves to be given a chance.
Bob Strauss - Los Angeles Daily News
Dean Essner - Baltimore Sun
James Verniere - Boston Herald
Not a classic by any means, but satisfactory in the basics of the genre.
JoBlo - JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Expect lots of Slasher Movie 101 and putatively clever jibes at a certain high-profile hotel heiress (involving a video camera, of course, and a box full of cell phones that don't work).
Marrit Ingman - Austin Chronicle
Scott Huver - Hollywood.com
A script that offers few thrills and a slapdash story.
Paul Clinton (Boxoffice) - Boxoffice Magazine
Should make horror fans quite content.
Liz Braun - Jam! Movies
Dean Essner - Boston Phoenix
A sizzling grand finale is among the few reasons to endure House of Wax.
John Wirt - Advocate (Baton Rouge, LA)
A mundane slasher flick populated by blandly pretty people who look really good in sweaty tank tops.
Nick Schager - Lessons of Darkness
If you've seen one horror movie, you'll always be several steps ahead of everyone in House of Wax.
Greg Maki - Star-Democrat (Easton, MD)
When I wasn't laughing at the asinine plot developments or the ridiculously inept acting, I was straining to stay awake.
David Cornelius - eFilmCritic.com
Forty-five minutes of stultifying boredom, followed by preposterous carnage pilfered from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Steve Schneider - Orlando Weekly
The 1933 and 1953 versions are available on a single DVD for slightly less than the price of two evening movie tickets. Am I making myself clear?
Ken Hanke - Mountain Xpress (Asheville, NC)
My contempt for this film is so great, I'm reluctant to even call it a film, as that designation places it in the pantheon of works by Welles, Hitchcock and even Ed Wood.
Matt Brunson - Creative Loafing
I've got some real affection for House of Wax and perhaps that, more than anything, is why I wish it were just a tiny bit better.
Mike McGranaghan - Aisle Seat
House of Wax's violence is abrupt and gory, giving it an ick factor that surprises and repulses in a good way.
Mark Pfeiffer - Reel Times: Reflections on Cinema
Much of the film's running time is devoted to subtle provoking of primal fears...
Josh Larsen - Sun Publications (Chicago, IL)
It had a great sense of humor about itself.
Richard Roeper - Ebert & Roeper
(Director) Collet-Serra has no facility for suspense or mood, and he stretches out the brain-dead dialogue and plodding plot until it's numbing.
Sean Axmaker - Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Says Paris: "I'm dismissed when I get a pole in my head which, as anyone in tune with my video career knows, is hardly the first time."
Mark Ramsey - MovieJuice!
Melts in your brain, not in your hand (or is that it melts your brain?)
Dan Lybarger - eFilmCritic.com
The plot relies entirely on the stupidity of the protagonists and our desire to watch them die.
Nell Minow - Movie Mom at Yahoo! Movies
Don't blame Hilton for this misbegotten Wax job
Christian Toto - Washington Times
House of Wax really heats up in the final reel. That, considering the subject matter, is one way to bring down the house.
Larry Ratliff - San Antonio Express-News
And in keeping with the wax, wax, everywhere WAX concept of this goofy little gore-bucket, I'll just glibly assume that the screenplay was written in crayon.
Scott Weinberg - eFilmCritic.com
Yet another teens-versus- hillbillies slasher flick.
M.E. Russell - Oregonian
While the end is predictable, the order that the kids are picked off is not. It might feel new to viewers who haven't seen many of the 'classic' 80s slasher flicks.
Paul Salfen - Supercala.com
The unmistakable promise of a sequel in the last scene inspires more resignation than anticipation.
Pamela Troy - culturevulture.net
A sadistically bland entertainment that oversells its reveals and lets its suspense drip so long that it would be nice if something (anything!) happened.
Aaron Hillis - Premiere Magazine
Irritating, boring, poorly acted, poorly directed and poorly written.
Jeff Otto - IGN Movies
Not to focus too much on Paris Hilton, but she brings an art to bad acting.
Kevin Carr - 7M Pictures
Gosh, I have to admit it: it's more enjoyable than I thought to watch Paris die.
Audrey Rock-Richardson - Tooele Transcript-Bulletin (Utah)
If you like that kind of thing, and you can get past the first 20 minutes or so, the good news is that the movie keeps getting better as it goes along.
Cherryl Dawson and Leigh Ann Palone - TheMovieChicks.com
The acting in House of Wax is as horrible as you might expect.
John Monaghan - Detroit Free Press
Film lacks horror and originality.
Angela Baldassarre - Sympatico.ca
If you're okay with standard slasher flicks and you enjoy grandiose special effects, then House of Wax might be worth a trip to the theater for you. If not, wait for the DVD.
Staci Layne Wilson - Horror.com
None of it is staged with any panache.
Gary Thompson - Philadelphia Daily News
"House of Wax" is a classic, of a kind ... It plays its alarming carnage straight, and it's very scary.
Kurt Loder - MTV
[P]imping... Paris Hilton to movie audiences is [the] primary reason for the existence of this crass 'remake'...
MaryAnn Johanson - Flick Filosopher
Most alarming, the movie leaves open the possibility of a sequel.
Cynthia Fuchs - PopMatters
With a minimally talented cast, it focuses on the most ludicrous, repulsive aspects: Paris Hilton, the slaughter and melting wax.
Susan Granger - Modamag.com
... doesn't look down upon its target audience... House both treats and terrorizes while legitimizing itself next to other slasher classics.
Kevin A. Ranson - MovieCrypt.com
The 2005 remake doesn't hold a candle to the original.
Rebecca Murray - About.com
House of Wax is practically a textbook case on how not to make [a horror] film.
Daniel M. Kimmel - Worcester Telegram & Gazette
Wretched excuse for a horror flick.
Jeff Shannon - Seattle Times
This is bad horror at its best: hokey, predictable and completely unrealistic.
Tyler Hanley - Palo Alto Weekly
"Something's dead out there." Yeah, like this movie.
Sarah Chauncey - Reel.com
'...the 2nd best Paris Hilton film I've seen this year. '
Michael A. Smith - Nolan's Pop Culture Review
low-rent in every respect... When her character, Paige, performs a striptease, Hilton's moves are so lethargic and mechanical she's about as arousing as Bugs Bunny in drag.
James Sanford - Kalamazoo Gazette
Redeemed by the surreal nightmare of its fiery finale, when it's not a wicked witch but the world itself that seems to be crying, 'I'm melting...'
John Beifuss - Commercial Appeal (Memphis, TN)
This isn't boring, but is as predictable as can be.
Eric Lurio - Greenwich Village Gazette
Rookie director Jaume Collet-Serra concentrates on mild shocks, unpleasant bloodiness and a dank stickiness in the set design.
Sean Means - Salt Lake Tribune
The debut feature from director Jaume Collet-Serra does two things rare in the horror genre: It takes its time and it actually gets better as it goes along.
Mick LaSalle - San Francisco Chronicle
House of Wax is not a remake of the 1953 Vincent Price movie with the same title. Rather, it is the umpty-third version of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
Jeffrey Westhoff - Northwest Herald (Crystal Lake, IL)
It delivers some bracingly nasty gore scenes, but there's no spark left in the run-scream-repeat formula, and a movie whose biggest draw is profoundly untalented hotel-fortune heiress Paris Hilton is in desperate need of some juice.
Maitland McDonagh - TV Guide's Movie Guide
The new remake of House of Wax proves it's actually possible for a movie to get dumber as it goes along.
Jeff Vice - Deseret News, Salt Lake City
Such a vile and despicable heap of trash that I pity any lucid person who will actually pay decent money to sit through it.
David Keyes - Cinemaphile.org
The filmmakers have one good idea ... Otherwise, the picture remains imagination-free.
Lawrence Toppman - Charlotte Observer
Most of this seems like a Marilyn Manson video.
Dean Essner - E! Online
As embarrassingly guilty pleasures go, House of Wax does a decent job of molding itself to your needs.
Phoebe Flowers - South Florida Sun-Sentinel
House of Wax is Paris Hilton's best movie.
Fred Topel - About.com
The acting is so generic and dead that they might as well have poured hot wax on all the characters in the first scene.
Steve Rhodes - Internet Reviews
As slick as it is, House of Wax basically serves up the kind of gory, oozing jolts that will transport some toward a kind of antic release and others towards the nearest exits.
Gene Seymour - Newsday
I wanted to see Paris Hilton die early and painfully. Nothing else really mattered.
Willie Waffle - WaffleMovies.com
Scary, scream-and-squirm-inducing, and suspenseful, it's the first unequivocally good--and often downright great--popcorn entertainment of the still-early summer movie season.
Dustin Putman - DustinPutman.com
Paris Hilton is the least of the film's problems, and when Paris Hilton is the least of your problems, you know you're in trouble.
Eric D. Snider - EricDSnider.com
...dominated by long, unnecessarily prolonged sequences in which the various characters are either poking around where they shouldn't or hiding from a deformed maniac.
David Nusair - Reel Film Reviews
As a frightfest it's better than today's average.
David Sterritt - Christian Science Monitor
House of Wax is cheap, dirty entertainment, and it knows it.
Rob Vaux - Flipside Movie Emporium
2005's House of Wax turns out to be a better reimagining of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" than last year's lousy remake
Laura Clifford - Reeling Reviews
House of Wax is incredibly old fashioned, sticking strongly to the rhythms of a million exploitation cheapies from the early 80s.
Devin Faraci - CHUD
This Wax is more junk food quality, skipping along inside its traditional horror trappings with eagerness and a rare lack of cynicism or pale ghost children.
Brian Orndorf - FilmJerk.com
In this film, Paris is the brains of the outfit.
Jackie Loohauis - Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
More gleeful, more deliciously sick, and cleverer than most.
Eugene Novikov - Film Blather
A crummy horror flick.
Phil Kloer - Atlanta Journal-Constitution
A roughhouse between the Hayes's dingbatty script...and director Sera's winking and surprisingly skillful treatment of it...ultimately disappointing.
Peter Canavese - Groucho Reviews
There's more to good filmmaking than buying the rights to a classic title.
Chuck Wilson - L.A. Weekly
Though this is a step up from the usual teen snuff-movie fare, it still very much wanes more than it waxes.
Frank Swietek - One Guy's Opinion
It's sad that the film had to place Hilton front & center with a video camera joke, then a BJ gag before finally having a large phallic object go right through her face.
Erik Childress - eFilmCritic.com
House of Wax is suspenseful, well-paced and, other than Hilton, capably acted.
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) - St. Paul Pioneer Press
Hilton is the cinematic equivalent of a stray dog, an untrained extra that accidentally wandered into the shot and quickly began making love to the camera.
Todd Gilchrist - FilmStew.com
House of Wax is a cinematic candle in the wind. Through gusty horror cliches, tepid acting and cheap thrills, it somehow never completely dims.
Mike Ward - Richmond.com
The camera is like a loving captive of Hilton's assured smirk and self-aware demeanor. It's as if she's acting while watching herself on an internal monitor.
Phil Villarreal - Arizona Daily Star
Sadism is the only thing House has going for it
Sean O'Connell - Filmcritic.com
Cruelty to stupid characters isn't disturbing, it's just condescending. And being mean for mean's sake is an empty enterprise, in my book.
Brian Juergens - Freeze Dried Movies
how seriously should any film be taken when it has Paris Hilton and her lacy red lingerie in a supporting role?
Andrea Chase - Killer Movie Reviews
The film does everything that teen horror flicks are supposed to do, but Hilton undermines it all by not even trying to act.
Sean McBride - Sean the Movie Guy
Ed Gonzalez - Slant Magazine
Scott Nash - Three Movie Buffs
Delivers what its fans come for--gore, violence, a little sex, lots of wax.
Harvey S. Karten - Compuserve
Unexciting reimagining of the 1953 classic House of Wax, which was a remake of the superb 1933 Mystery of the House of Wax
Emanuel Levy - EmanuelLevy.Com