I Am Number Four Reviews
The sci-fi-teen romance I Am Number Four is witless, insultingly derivative, muddy-looking, and edited in the hammering epileptic style that marks so many films produced, as this one is, by Michael Bay.
The young "Four" cast appears to have been plucked from an Abercrombie & Fitch catalogue - which isn't an issue until you realize that the characters they're playing are about as thin as the pages in that Gen-Y fashion Bible.
Mostly "I Am Number Four'' is a pokey, pretty, predictable romance in which the boy is a shy extraterrestrial with secret powers and a royal lineage - your classic study-hall daydream - and the girl is a gentle alt-goddess.
Granted, I Am NumberFour is a little better and makes loads more sense than Eagle Eye, Caruso's most recent vehicle for comely young actors in peril. But neither one has the sass and pluck of Disturbia. Watch that instead.
Honestly, the god-awful, no-budget, grade-Z 1959 potboiler Teenagers From Outer Space had more integrity than does this piece of militaristically oppressive, micromanaged tripe.
Producers Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg deploy an arsenal of noisy special effects to demonstrate the invaders' high-tech superiority, which makes Olyphant's inability to breach an Internet firewall look pretty silly.
Tapping into the same vein of teen melodrama that runs through the Twilight franchise, I Am Number Four hurls a moody adolescent from outer space into the halls of a smalltown American high school.