“I'm So Glad I Didn't Spend Money To See This In A Movie Theater.”
March 13th, 2012
What an awful movie. It was so boring even with the graphic violence & squishy stabbings. If you want to see the action scenes "from the people who brought you 300" just watch the last half hour. There is nothing worthwhile in the rest of the movie. I used to know a lot about mythology but I've forgotten most of it; I do know that this movie messes with it to the point where the Titans are just a bunch of mindless clone warriors.
Zeus trains Theseus to be an incredible warrior who isn't a soldier yet he gives an "inspiring" speech to real soldiers while they bang their shields with the blade side of their swords instead of the flat part. All I could think was, "why are the soldiers damaging their shields & swords?"
I didn't care about anyone in this movie. Not even King Hyperion who goes around killing all of his generals & messengers but for some reason spares Theseus after Theseus killed a bunch of his men when they first meet. That's not the only dumb thing in the movie, the people lived in the sides of rocky cliffs with zero vegetation surrounded by an ocean of oil (not water) what they ate for food is a mystery. And the final scene in the sky was also moronic. It was also unnecessarily dark which makes no sense considering how much of it was computer generated.