“This Summer's Mean Girls! Fun Story, Cute Girls, And Tons Of Laughs!”
Ostensibly, he's been caught dating three pretty girls at the same time, but, really, is that a big deal? Well, no, according to this confused female-disempowerment flick.
Gregory Kirschling - Entertainment Weekly
... a dispiriting revenge fantasy engineered by three waspish Barbies against one disposable Ken.
Jeannette Catsoulis - New York Times
Peter Bradshaw - Guardian [UK]
John Tucker Must Die is trying to be Mean Girls with a more pointed purpose, but it's less fun than it sounds.
Claudia Puig - USA Today
Despite doing its best to jiggle, giggle and ogle its way into a niche somewhere between Heathers and American Pie, it becomes just another forgettable pastiche of sight gags and pop-culture references.
Ann Hornaday - Washington Post
This one is like watching 100 minutes of acne.
Wesley Morris - Boston Globe
The title's difficult to argue with, unless it's to maintain that we'd all be better off if the film's entire roster of characters had been shot in the head at the dump, greyhound-style.
Michael Atkinson - Village Voice
Jeff Lowell's slapdash script is as phony as Beth's trendy animal activism, but it does offer plenty of easy laughs.
Elizabeth Weitzman - New York Daily News
Hopeful cinephiles might long for pitch-black satire a la Heathers ... but this by-the-book high school revenge comedy has the spine of a wet ramen noodle.
Amy Biancolli - Houston Chronicle
[A] tart-tongued mediocrity.
Michael Booth - Denver Post
Despite its various shortcomings, John Tucker isn't a terrible movie. It just isn't terribly funny or terribly interesting, although I suspect that its intended audience won't mind very much.
Jessica Reaves - Chicago Tribune
There's something mildly charming about this cheerful revenge comedy's lack of any straightforward moral agenda.
Jonathan Rosenbaum - Chicago Reader
There is exactly one worthwhile sequence in the movie, the bit where the trio slip him a bottle of estrogen pills before a game, transforming him into a distraught, emotionally unstable crybaby.
Colin Covert - Minneapolis Star Tribune
It's not really John Tucker who must die. But we ought to lay his tired teen-movie premise to rest.
Bill Muller - Arizona Republic
[A] glossy, enjoyable comic fantasy ...
Justin Chang - Variety
As tasty as a quart of s'mores, John Tucker Must Die is a slumber-party classic that belongs on the same shelf as Bring It On and 10 Things I Hate About You.
Kyle Smith - New York Post
... the movie loses its meanness in its last third, a cop-out that robs it of the reason for making it and giving it such a nasty title
Roger Moore - Orlando Sentinel
... a dreary female revenge timewaster that steals from so many and returns so little.
Peter Howell - Toronto Star
... it's so tediously formulaic, it never feels like more than a fourth-generation photocopy of the John Hughes template.
Jason Anderson - Globe and Mail
The jokes are obvious and unfunny, the storyline goes nowhere that's interesting or unexpected, and the only chemistry happens in a science lab.
James Berardinelli - ReelViews
Despite a bold and promising title, John Tucker Must Die lacks the courage of its convictions.
Kirk Honeycutt - Hollywood Reporter
Though the movie strays deep and often into saccharine country, the filmmakers treat the characters with more respect than teen protagonists normally get in Hollywood.
David Germain - Associated Press
... a timid, screamingly unfunny rip-off of Heathers ...
Peter Travers - Rolling Stone
I didn't hate it. And I'm not even sorry to say that...
Felix Vasquez Jr. - Cinema Crazed
Peter Keough - Boston Phoenix
Designed as an ultimate revenge fantasy "John Tucker Must Die" is a moderately funny teen comedy with a few flashes of bawdy humor.
Cole Smithey - ColeSmithey.com
Jim Lane - Sacramento News & Review
Jennie Kermode - Eye for Film
Rarely has a title promised so much, and delivered so little. John Tucker Must Die is toothless, gormless, witless, and, worst of all, deathless.
Anton Bitel - Film4
A high-school revenge comedy that aims at a teen audience yet manages to be witty without being snarky or sophomoric.
Frank Lovece - Film Journal International
- Irish Times
Betty Thomas's sloppy storytelling and comic incompetence can be forgiven but to portray young women as flighty airheads obsessed with boys over all else is downright offensive.
Mike Sage - Peterborough This Week
Buoyed by its good looking cast and entertaining script, John Tucker Must Die is witty and funny, as it reminds us that it is cool to be yourself - whoever you are.
Urban Cinefile Critics - Urban Cinefile
Had it mined edgier territory and stuck to its guns, it would've proven a more engaging vehicle than the mild laugher we have here
Garth Franklin - Dark Horizons
Robert Hanks - Independent
A load of formulaic nonsense that should still turn a few young heads thanks to its fantasy plot and Jesse Metcalfe's chest.
- Empire Magazine
David Edwards - Daily Mirror [UK]
Not quite in the league of Mean Girls but this is still an enjoyably silly teen revenge comedy with strong performances and a witty, likeable script.
Matthew Turner - ViewLondon
Not the worst of its kind, but few over the age of 14 will find it worth forking out for.
Anna Smith - Time Out
John Tucker will surely die and be quickly forgotten.
Stella Papamichael - BBC
It functions well as a guilty pleasure that has some smile-worthy gags alongside the occasional Farrelly Brothers style gross-out moment.
- Premiere Magazine
John Tucker Must Die will undoubtedly fade into obscurity like so many silly and sentimental teen comedies before it. It's no wonder that the genre has turned to sex with apple pies and the like in an effort to distinguish itself.
Steve Davis - Austin Chronicle
- Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Painless but forgettable.
Matt Brunson - Creative Loafing
Here's an average teen movie with a predictable, but often entertaining, spin on revenge.
Linda Cook - Quad City Times (Davenport, IA)
Tucker is strictly for the teen crowd, but the intermittent waves of witty fun are to die for.
Tyler Hanley - Palo Alto Weekly
When we have savvy, smart TV shows like Veronica Mars, which perfectly and cleverly capture the angst and tribulations of high school life, there's absolutely no need for empty-headed, vapid movies like this.
Shlomo Schwartzberg - Boxoffice Magazine
Jonathan W. Hickman - Entertainment Insiders
Criticizing a summer teen movie for not being high art is like yelling at a sociopath for being a serial killer.
Brandon Judell - New York Theatre Wire
This is one of those films that manages to overcome the limitations of it's genre and become something a bit more.
Eric Lurio - Greenwich Village Gazette