Ostensibly, he's been caught dating three pretty girls at the same time, but, really, is that a big deal? Well, no, according to this confused female-disempowerment flick.
Gregory Kirschling - Entertainment Weekly
... a dispiriting revenge fantasy engineered by three waspish Barbies against one disposable Ken.
Jeannette Catsoulis - New York Times
Peter Bradshaw - Guardian [UK]
John Tucker Must Die is trying to be Mean Girls with a more pointed purpose, but it's less fun than it sounds.
Claudia Puig - USA Today
Despite doing its best to jiggle, giggle and ogle its way into a niche somewhere between Heathers and American Pie, it becomes just another forgettable pastiche of sight gags and pop-culture references.
Ann Hornaday - Washington Post
This one is like watching 100 minutes of acne.
Wesley Morris - Boston Globe
The title's difficult to argue with, unless it's to maintain that we'd all be better off if the film's entire roster of characters had been shot in the head at the dump, greyhound-style.
Michael Atkinson - Village Voice
Jeff Lowell's slapdash script is as phony as Beth's trendy animal activism, but it does offer plenty of easy laughs.
Elizabeth Weitzman - New York Daily News
Hopeful cinephiles might long for pitch-black satire a la Heathers ... but this by-the-book high school revenge comedy has the spine of a wet ramen noodle.
Amy Biancolli - Houston Chronicle
[A] tart-tongued mediocrity.
Michael Booth - Denver Post
Despite its various shortcomings, John Tucker isn't a terrible movie. It just isn't terribly funny or terribly interesting, although I suspect that its intended audience won't mind very much.
Jessica Reaves - Chicago Tribune
There's something mildly charming about this cheerful revenge comedy's lack of any straightforward moral agenda.
Jonathan Rosenbaum - Chicago Reader
There is exactly one worthwhile sequence in the movie, the bit where the trio slip him a bottle of estrogen pills before a game, transforming him into a distraught, emotionally unstable crybaby.
Colin Covert - Minneapolis Star Tribune
It's not really John Tucker who must die. But we ought to lay his tired teen-movie premise to rest.
Bill Muller - Arizona Republic
[A] glossy, enjoyable comic fantasy ...
Justin Chang - Variety
As tasty as a quart of s'mores, John Tucker Must Die is a slumber-party classic that belongs on the same shelf as Bring It On and 10 Things I Hate About You.
Kyle Smith - New York Post
... the movie loses its meanness in its last third, a cop-out that robs it of the reason for making it and giving it such a nasty title
Roger Moore - Orlando Sentinel
... a dreary female revenge timewaster that steals from so many and returns so little.
Peter Howell - Toronto Star
... it's so tediously formulaic, it never feels like more than a fourth-generation photocopy of the John Hughes template.
Jason Anderson - Globe and Mail
The jokes are obvious and unfunny, the storyline goes nowhere that's interesting or unexpected, and the only chemistry happens in a science lab.
James Berardinelli - ReelViews
Despite a bold and promising title, John Tucker Must Die lacks the courage of its convictions.
Kirk Honeycutt - Hollywood Reporter
Though the movie strays deep and often into saccharine country, the filmmakers treat the characters with more respect than teen protagonists normally get in Hollywood.
David Germain - Associated Press
... a timid, screamingly unfunny rip-off of Heathers ...
Peter Travers - Rolling Stone
I didn't hate it. And I'm not even sorry to say that...
Felix Vasquez Jr. - Cinema Crazed
Peter Keough - Boston Phoenix
Designed as an ultimate revenge fantasy "John Tucker Must Die" is a moderately funny teen comedy with a few flashes of bawdy humor.
Cole Smithey - ColeSmithey.com
Jim Lane - Sacramento News & Review
Jennie Kermode - Eye for Film
Rarely has a title promised so much, and delivered so little. John Tucker Must Die is toothless, gormless, witless, and, worst of all, deathless.
Anton Bitel - Film4
A high-school revenge comedy that aims at a teen audience yet manages to be witty without being snarky or sophomoric.
Frank Lovece - Film Journal International
Dean Essner - Irish Times
Betty Thomas's sloppy storytelling and comic incompetence can be forgiven but to portray young women as flighty airheads obsessed with boys over all else is downright offensive.
Mike Sage - Peterborough This Week
Buoyed by its good looking cast and entertaining script, John Tucker Must Die is witty and funny, as it reminds us that it is cool to be yourself - whoever you are.
Urban Cinefile Critics - Urban Cinefile
Had it mined edgier territory and stuck to its guns, it would've proven a more engaging vehicle than the mild laugher we have here
Garth Franklin - Dark Horizons
Robert Hanks - Independent
David Edwards - Daily Mirror [UK]
A load of formulaic nonsense that should still turn a few young heads thanks to its fantasy plot and Jesse Metcalfe's chest.
Dean Essner - Empire Magazine
Not the worst of its kind, but few over the age of 14 will find it worth forking out for.
Anna Smith - Time Out
Not quite in the league of Mean Girls but this is still an enjoyably silly teen revenge comedy with strong performances and a witty, likeable script.
Matthew Turner - ViewLondon
John Tucker will surely die and be quickly forgotten.
Stella Papamichael - BBC
It functions well as a guilty pleasure that has some smile-worthy gags alongside the occasional Farrelly Brothers style gross-out moment.
Dean Essner - Premiere Magazine
Painless but forgettable.
Matt Brunson - Creative Loafing
John Tucker Must Die will undoubtedly fade into obscurity like so many silly and sentimental teen comedies before it. It's no wonder that the genre has turned to sex with apple pies and the like in an effort to distinguish itself.
Steve Davis - Austin Chronicle
Dean Essner - Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Here's an average teen movie with a predictable, but often entertaining, spin on revenge.
Linda Cook - Quad City Times (Davenport, IA)
Jonathan W. Hickman - Entertainment Insiders
Tucker is strictly for the teen crowd, but the intermittent waves of witty fun are to die for.
Tyler Hanley - Palo Alto Weekly
Criticizing a summer teen movie for not being high art is like yelling at a sociopath for being a serial killer.
Brandon Judell - New York Theatre Wire
When we have savvy, smart TV shows like Veronica Mars, which perfectly and cleverly capture the angst and tribulations of high school life, there's absolutely no need for empty-headed, vapid movies like this.
Shlomo Schwartzberg - Boxoffice Magazine
This is one of those films that manages to overcome the limitations of it's genre and become something a bit more.
Eric Lurio - Greenwich Village Gazette
The material is often trite, but director Thomas and her attractive cast make it seem fresh most of the time.
M. K. Terrell - Christian Science Monitor
If we're going to abandon any sense of storytelling or intelligence, couldn't we at the very least do it with cheerful cardboard cutouts? Nice people can be dumb too.
Steven Snyder - Zertinet Movies
very slight ... predictable
Anne Gilbert - Filmcritic.com
An out-of-touch and insincere teen product.
Mark Palermo - Coast (Halifax, Nova Scotia)
Cliche ridden and bland
Scott Nash - Three Movie Buffs
Its storyline is very predictable and cliche but teen girls will no doubt have a good time with this movie anyway. Parents on the other hand (especially dads out there), who get stuck in theater with their kids, may want to bring a flask with them to help
Michael Ferraro - Film Threat
This one suffers from a bad case of predictability. It's also hard to believe, mostly because cast members look too old to be high school students.
Betty Jo Tucker - ReelTalk Movie Reviews
Idiotic, unimaginative, lazy and tedious to boot, John Tucker Must Die should be more of a wishful command than a simple-minded title to a klutzy comedy.
Frank Ochieng - Movie Eye
John Tucker doesn't really have to die but he should be relegated to obscurity on the video shelf.
Cherryl Dawson and Leigh Ann Palone - TheMovieChicks.com
A slightly warped edge keeps us engaged with the simplistic characters and goofy situations.
Rich Cline - Shadows on the Wall
Dean Essner - St. Louis Post-Dispatch
Dean Essner - Bullz-Eye.com
Dean Essner - Baltimore Sun
Tepid teen revenge fantasy
Susan Granger - Modamag.com
A teen comedy version of a woman scorned that turns out to be a celebration of a chauvinist who triumphs in the end.
Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat - Spirituality and Practice
Teen comedies are notoriously predictable, and screenwriter Jeff Lowell isn't out to rock the genre boat, but his smartly written dialogue and the infectious charm of the cast, particularly Snow and Metcalfe, add up to a winning combination.
Angel Cohn - TV Guide's Movie Guide
John Tucker Must Die isn't as good as it could have been, especially with veteran comedy director Betty Thomas at the helm. However, it's not terrible, either.
Kevin Carr - 7M Pictures
... longtime director Betty Thomas shows that she's still got the pulse of teenage angst, bringing out strong performances from every one of the ensemble cast.
Judy Chia Hui Hsu - Seattle Times
It's not grating the way many of its genre are, and the pandering it does to its teenage female audience seems good-natured, not cynical.
Eric D. Snider - EricDSnider.com
... a gender-reversed youth variant on In the Company of Men -- sans skill, satire or point.
Luke Y. Thompson - E! Online
... a teen payback comedy that squanders any potential it might have had on the altar of that all-important teen desire: It wants us to think it's cute.
Terry Lawson - Detroit Free Press
Dave White - Movies.com
Despite the hypocrisy at its core, John Tucker is entertaining in a synthetic way: The script is funny and knowing.
Dean Essner - St. Paul Pioneer Press
This comedy about four high-school girls getting revenge on a triple-timing jock strikes the poses of a teen sex comedy, but it contains no sex and hardly any comedy.
Mike Russell - Oregonian
John Tucker Must Die isn't half bad. It's about two-fifths bad, mostly toward the incoherent ending, but that ratio is... well, not bad.
Jim Emerson - RogerEbert.com
... John Tucker Must Die is clever enough to avoid the places you expect it to end up, occasionally racy without being trashy, inventive in its torture.
Connie Ogle - Miami Herald
In the end, John Tucker is a lot like high school: I'll look back on it with a smile, but I'm glad it's behind me.
Cathy Jakicic - Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
Teen airhead comedy doesn't get much nastier, or lazier, than John Tucker Must Die.
Bob Strauss - Los Angeles Daily News
... slightly smarmy.
Stephen Whitty - Newark Star-Ledger
Starting with the fact that its "high school students" look closer to 30 than 16, John Tucker Must Die is a film out of joint.
Cynthia Fuchs - PopMatters
Bless her heart, but Thomas is a 58 year-old director making a movie that is meant for tween slumber parties. It's an uphill battle she can't fight in good faith, leaving Tucker a dreary, autopilot directing job.
Brian Orndorf - eFilmCritic.com
While it's no Heathers ... there are some truly dark and funny moments throughout with director Betty Thomas, setting just about the right tone.
Jane Stevenson - Jam! Movies
This one will probably appeal to its target audience, which is young enough not to have tired of watching cat fights and food fights.
Ruthe Stein - San Francisco Chronicle
This idiotic teen comedy settles for being silly and cutesy when just a little bit of snarkiness (a la Mean Girls) could have saved it.
Jeff Vice - Deseret News, Salt Lake City
Unless an hour and a half of fart jokes, catfights, sexist gags, and boys in thongs is your thing, do humanity a favor and don't give the producers of this crud a dime.
Brie Beazley - Reel.com
In the typical vein of high school teen movies full of joie de vivre, John Tucker Must Die is unadulterated fluff. Derivative but somewhat amusing.
Kit Bowen - Hollywood.com
As a teen comedy, this one is both sweet and funny, without being raunchy. Surely there is a place in the world for innocent little films like this. Let's hope so.
Steve Rhodes - Internet Reviews
The performers are a bright bunch.
Scott Foundas - L.A. Weekly
Made for teenagers and they'll be seeing it no matter what we say. I would too if I was 16 and saw the poster. Wait for the DVD.
John Venable - Supercala.com
After a riotous opening fifteen minutes, John Tucker Must Die quickly settles into a groove that is sporadically funny but often forced.
Bill Clark - FromTheBalcony
These ladies say 'John Tucker' so much you wonder if they think that's his first name.
Matt Pais - Metromix.com
One of the unheralded guilty pleasures of inane teen sex comedies comes from watching middle-aged filmmakers haplessly attempt to gauge the pulse of teen America.
Nathan Rabin - AV Club
It's got smarts, snark and simple sweet-and-sour goodness.
Phoebe Flowers - South Florida Sun-Sentinel
The direction by Betty Thomas is snappy and bright... (but) the film lacks the nerve for any genuinely nasty fun or comic bite.
Sean Axmaker - Seattle Post-Intelligencer
some of the most entertaining trailers and commercials of the year, but they should have hired that editor to make the whole movie
Willie Waffle - WaffleMovies.com
The broad, lazy humor only sporadically elicits chuckles.
Dustin Putman - DustinPutman.com
Don't die, just go away. ... Where's John Hughes when we need him?
Larry Ratliff - San Antonio Express-News
The flick's girl-power aesthetic frequently gets lost in the madcap shuffle of elaborate, high-tech adventures that are far beyond the capabilities of actual teens.
Steve Schneider - Orlando Weekly
If one is interested in seeing everything that's wrong with movies today -- from cynical marketing to the creative poverty of contemporary screenwriting -- Tucker provides one-stop shopping.
John Anderson - Newsday
Can't make up its mind whether to be Mean Girls or Sixteen Candles, opting instead for a mixture of the two that doesn't really gel.
Frank Swietek - One Guy's Opinion
The film's sheer technical ineptitude seems almost intentional, bordering on avant-garde expressiveness.
Keith Uhlich - Slant Magazine