“Jonah Hex Is Like A Bad TV Special. Save Yourself From The Misery And Horror By Skipping It.”
“What Happened To Your Face?”
“How Do You Screw Up Josh Brolin As A Gruff Anti-hero, Great Comic Book Source Material, Mastodon Doing Most Of The Score And Megan Fox In A Corset? Look No Further Than 'Jonah Hex.'”
“"A Western With A Twist Of The Superhero Genre And The Supernatrual, A Huge Dissapointment, Not Fully Being The Film It Should Have Been. But Still A Fun Watch And Its Easy Going!"”
“DUMB-ASS MOVIE EVER”
“Boring. ONE OF WORST COMICS HEROES WORKS”
“If You're Looking For A Comic Hero A Bit Different From The Norm, Hex Just Might Cast A Spell On You.”
“I Like The Beginning Plot, Except The Aftermath Plot.”
“DAMN IT I WISH I CAN GIVE THIS A NEGATIVE 50 STARS!!!”
“Watch THIS MOVIE Http://bit.ly/cPlYE7”
“What A Waste Of Time”
“SHORT BUT SWEEET”
“It Feels Like More Of A Bad TV Special Than It Does An Actual Movie. Please, Skip It.”
“Jonah Hex Is Another Blandish Western Derango Kinda Of Flick , That Tries To Hard To Be The Next Wild Wild West , It Runs A Mere 72mins , It Moves Quick , Brolin Tries To Hard , But It Was Somewhat Entertaining Which I Can Muster A Mild Recommendation..”
“A Gnarly Rock N' Roll Action Western Film Based On The Classic DC Comics Character That Is Both Fun And Exciting. Brolin Lights Up The Screen As The Famous Anti-hero And Actor Michael Fassbender Creates One Of The Best Film Villains In Years.”
[Brolin] is done in by the deathless mediocrity of the production, an assemblage of random camera shots, messy editing, redundant scenes, and witless dialogue as haphazardly stitched together as the flesh on Jonah Hex's face.
Lisa Schwarzbaum - Entertainment Weekly
Though it has bad word of mouth, "Jonah Hex" is generally better, sprier and more diverting than most of the action flicks now playing, The A-Team included.
Manohla Dargis - New York Times
Some movies seem so blatant an effort to appeal to a specific target audience that they ought to come with a viewers' advisory warning.
Claudia Puig - USA Today
Jonah Hex may not be the longest 81 minutes you ever spend, but it might well be the most tedious.
Michael O'Sullivan - Washington Post
The movie began life as a macabre postbellum western for DC Comics. Now it's lumbering action-camp following a video game plot.
Wesley Morris - Boston Globe
If all you want is a bullets-and-bombs B-movie, you'll get your money's worth: Somehow, Hayward makes 82 minutes feel like hours.
Elizabeth Weitzman - New York Daily News
Jonah Hex is cut-and-paste filmmaking at its crudest.
Tom Maurstad - Dallas Morning News
The movie is laughable, but it's not funny, not even in a camp way.
Mary F. Pols - MSN Movies
It's based on some DC Comics characters, which may explain the way the plot jumps around. We hear a lot about graphic novels, but this is more of a graphic anthology of strange occult ideas.
Roger Ebert - Chicago Sun-Times
With a total running time that barely hits 80 minutes, it's hard to believe they even paid [John] Malkovich and [Megan] Fox to show up.
S. James Snyder - Chicago Tribune
Here's how you know Josh Brolin has become a movie star: Jonah Hex may not be much with him, but without him? Perish the thought.
Michael Phillips - Chicago Tribune
Begins affably enough as a random slew of Leone-style squint-a-thons and shoot-outs but then loses it way in a dopey, anachronism-happy sci-fi plot.
Cliff Doerksen - Chicago Reader
Mercifully fleet and lamentably uninteresting...
Steven Rea - Philadelphia Inquirer
This is industrially processed entertainment at it cheapest, nastiest and greasiest.
Colin Covert - Minneapolis Star Tribune
Take the intriguing premise of a punk-rock Western based on a graphic novel, populate it with a good cast, add striking visuals and you come up with...a real mess.
Bill Goodykoontz - Arizona Republic
The film's noisy, slam-bang approach and lack of imagination in all nonvisual departments will keep it from rounding up a fresh generation of thrill-seekers.
Justin Chang - Variety
The Western, with its code of short tempers and cheap life, sprang from the Civil War, but few Westerns connect the dots to demonstrate how the war must have created hollow nihilists the way Jonah Hex does.
Kyle Smith - New York Post
Jonah Hex is a good performance and a few good lines buried in a script whose authors should do a little time in writer's hell for scribbling it.
Roger Moore - Orlando Sentinel
This looked to be a priority project by Warner Bros. at one point -- that is until cash spigot got turned off. The special effects are really cheesy, even by comic-book standards.
Peter Howell - Toronto Star
Calling Jonah Hex a waste of time requires qualification, given the action flick weighs in at 82 minutes.
Stephen Cole - Globe and Mail
It isn't just that no effort is expended on old-fogey ideas like character development; it's more that Hayward doesn't even try to make individual scenes make sense.
Andrew O'Hehir - Salon.com
If this represents the true vision of director Jimmy Hayward, then I have only one question: What was he thinking?
James Berardinelli - ReelViews
Although Josh Brolin rises to the occasion, much of this comic book adaptation appears to have been abandoned on the cutting-room floor.
Michael Rechtshaffen - Hollywood Reporter
So short, and so bad, you cringe at the thought of how awful whatever ended up on the cutting-room floor must be.
David Germain - Associated Press
Director Jimmy Hayward fails to establish a viable reason for this movie to exist.
Peter Travers - Rolling Stone
In the comic book tradition, the story weaves between the real and the mythical, but it's a very boozy trip. Brolin's intermittent voice-over narration proves to be the most powerful stuff, with the rest curiously sputtering.
Betsy Sharkey - Los Angeles Times
It's popcorn-chomping fun rooting for the soul-stripped Hex as he battles his way toward redemption and sweet, sweet payback.
Steve Newton - Georgia Straight
It's a little too brief to get bored exactly, but it's certainly long enough to get frustrated at the lack of the essential ingredients to get the audience engaged in its story.
Jeff Beck - Examiner.com
Brent Simon - Shared Darkness
Nell Minow - Movie Mom at Yahoo! Movies
It's a standard Western revenge tale dressed up with supernatural elements.
Simon Reynolds - Digital Spy
When it works, which it does quite often, it's one of the better comic book adaptations of recent years.
Michael W. Phillips, Jr. - Goatdog's Movies
Seems almost calculated meticulously to suck the life out of its audience as much as humanly possible...
Felix Vasquez Jr. - Cinema Crazed
The film is simply too brief, too befuddled and too delirious to do the comic book legend justice.
R. L. Shaffer - IGN DVD
An awful excuse for cinema that ultimately fails in nearly every way possible.
David Roark - Christianity Today
...remarkably two-dimensional, showing evidence of having been edited down from something more complex.
John J. Puccio - Movie Metropolis
To quote Clint Eastwood's Monco in For A Few Dollars More, you people need a new sheriff.
Ken McIntyre - Total Film
Jonah Kex, Jonah Wrex, Jonah Hax, Jonah Kax, Jonah Thix, Jonah Crox, Jonah Sux.
Robbie Collin - News of the World
The film shows its comic-book origins in good ways (stylish settings) and bad (too many scenes end in a gigantic conflagration).
Anthony Quinn - Independent
Whether it's the director's fault or the result of studio meddling, this is a mess of a movie that's been cut to pieces.
Alex Zane - Sun Online
It just gets louder and more nonsensical as it progresses, with Fox shoe-horned into as many scenes as possible.
Almost everything is wrong with it.
Christopher Tookey - Daily Mail [UK]
Having already bombed big-time in the US, our search for the biggest turkey of 2010 ends right here.
David Edwards - Daily Mirror [UK]
At least it's relatively short.
Elliot V. Kotek - Little White Lies
It's a loud and subtle-as-a-sledgehammer assault on the senses, though, at 81 minutes, mercifully short.
Marc Lee - Daily Telegraph
[A] dull and messy ride through supernatural Clint Eastwood territory.
Alan Jones - Radio Times
An object lesson in how not to adapt a comic book. A crushing disappointment.
James White - Empire Magazine
At 81 minutes with credits, Jonah Hex feels crude, lazy and entirely perfunctory.
Tom Huddleston - Time Out
thin, dull, messy story that's short but feels much longer. It's all flashy explosions and effects and no substance.
Roz Laws - Birmingham Post
Scarcely even feature length, and bewilderingly chaotic.
Nigel Andrews - Financial Times
There's plenty of bangs for your buck -- check out the dynamite-heavy ambush of a steam locomotive in the opening sequence.
Tim Evans - Sky Movies
Has obviously been hacked to pieces and is hampered by lazy supporting performances, several utterly pointless scenes and the fact that all the violence happens offscreen.
Matthew Turner - ViewLondon
There's the germ of a great idea in this premise, but it's flattened by sledgehammer direction that smashes any possibility out of each scene.
Rich Cline - Shadows on the Wall
Jonah Hex could be bigger, louder and longer, with more special effects and faster cutting, but it errs on the side of simplicity. And to that, let's all raise a shotglass.
Stephanie Zacharek - Movieline
There's just one ingredient missing: anyone with a clue.
Rafer Guzman - Newsday
Jonah Hex isn't necessarily a bad film, it's just nothing at all.
Brian Orndorf - Dark Horizons
Jonah Hex misfires. Repeatedly.
Jeff Vice - Deseret News, Salt Lake City
Yes, it squanders its Sergio Leone-worthy source material, but it's a surprisingly entertaining disaster -- a sort of Concorde-New Horizons picture for the new millennium.
John Beifuss - Commercial Appeal (Memphis, TN)
A horse opera with a hex.
Charles Koplinski - Illinois Times
The bad and the ugly are both covered, with a main character that has a scarred face and a deep desire for revenge. As for the good? That's more of a hit-or-miss proposition.
Mike Scott - Times-Picayune
80 some odd minutes of bland, boring, tedious nonsense. Utterly inept and squandering potential at every opportunity, the only 'interesting' thing the film has going for it is an ending that is totally bizarro, terribly conceived and bafflingly stupid.
Devin Faraci - CHUD
What do you get when you make a movie out of a comic book that's not worth reading?
Jim Lane - Sacramento News & Review
When making a feature film based on a Western horror comic, (don't) remove it from the Old West, sanitize the horrific bits, and mistake the term "comic" for the funny kind.
Kevin A. Ranson - MovieCrypt.com
...a seriously uneven missed opportunity...
David Nusair - Reel Film Reviews
Scripted by Crank scribes Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, and starring a game Josh Brolin, this probably looked good on paper.
Brett Michel - Boston Phoenix
John Malkovich and Josh Brolin are too good for the sloppy, overripe Jonah Hex.
John Wirt - Advocate (Baton Rouge, LA)
Jonah Hex is one big rush, but not in the positive sense.
Matt Brunson - Creative Loafing
Distinct from its various narrative failings, this DC comic book adaptation is most notable for how skimpy and curiously under-sketched it feels.
Brent Simon - Screen International
- National Post
Embarrassing for everyone involved.
Adam Gold - San Diego Union-Tribune
A sprawling, incoherent mess of a movie, all style (bad), no substance (worse), and capturing little if any of DC's Seventies-era mucho mojo.
Marc Savlov - Austin Chronicle
Had it been available to him, Max Bialystock would have opted for this as his guaranteed flop rather than Springtime for Hitler.
Ken Hanke - Mountain Xpress (Asheville, NC)
All three of you clamoring for a sequel to Wild Wild West have got your wish.
Keith Uhlich - Time Out
It's enough to make you want to kill the film reels, bring them back to life and then kill them again.
Dave White - Movies.com
A badly disfigured hero and a cliched heart of gold heroine are wrapped up in an inane plot. It makes you wonder just why did they make this movie?
Jackie K. Cooper - jackiekcooper.com
Josh Brolin grits half his teeth for the whole movie. I just can't tell if he's doing it to stay in character, or because he's disgusted with everyone else's effort in the film.
Jeff Bayer - The Scorecard Review
Who needs a story that makes sense when it's only camp that you're after?
Dennis Schwartz - Ozus' World Movie Reviews
"Jonah Hex" is a movie missing every element of what makes a movie. It's a gritty comic book adaptation without the grit. It has characters without character in a story without storytelling.
Christopher Smith - Bangor Daily News (Maine)
Only the idiosyncratic Warner Brothers would give us a wide-release summer movie that turns out to be an acid western.
Rob Gonsalves - eFilmCritic.com
a lot of money, a lot of time, and a lot of pyrotechnics to deliver a tiny little fizzle of a flick.
Andrea Chase - Killer Movie Reviews
As inane, sloppily edited, painfully awkward and unintentionally funny as an Uwe Boll film.
Avi Offer - NYC Movie Guru
You won't be blown away but if it's your thing, you will be entertained.
Gary Wolcott - Tri-City Herald
Nick Pinkerton - L.A. Weekly
I think Jonah Hex could have exceeded 80 minutes to make room for some real visual invention. And three-dimensional characters. And a plot. A plot would have been nice.
Amy Biancolli - San Francisco Chronicle
If Hex can talk to the dead, then he's probably the only one (apart from Ned the Pie Man) who could have any meaningful interaction with this movie.
MaryAnn Johanson - Flick Filosopher
It's hard to have any thoughts while watching Jonah Hex -- the cranium-crushing soundtrack takes care of that.
Peter Rainer - Christian Science Monitor
An intriguing comic-book hero is left stranded in a half-baked film adaptation that bears the marks of severe post-production tinkering.
Ethan Alter - Film Journal International
Compelling plot and character development get lost somewhere between explosion No. 1 and explosion No. 78, but the film certainly satisfies the popcorn quotient for summer cinema.
Tyler Hanley - Palo Alto Weekly
It's not going to rock your world, but if you're comfortable with the comic style and the super weapons/crazy guns that would have blown the minds of any Civil War soldier, the action will keep you entertained.
Jenna Busch - JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Despite all the state-of-the-art weaponry, it's a total misfire.
Jeffrey M. Anderson - Combustible Celluloid
Jonah Hex is not a good movie, but it's a great cautionary tale about what happens when a film loses its way.
Mark Keizer - Boxoffice Magazine
It plays like a film that's not done yet, as if the editor hated watching it repeatedly and simply refused to finish.
Brian Tallerico - Movie Retriever
The gifted Josh Brolin is totally wasted in this misguided, messy, disjointed and tedious action-adventure-western
Emanuel Levy - EmanuelLevy.Com
A lumpy soup of western action and supernatural shenanigans, heavily spiced with narrative confusion.
Kurt Loder - MTV
Slight but sluggish, murky but not effectively dark, Jonah Hex is caught in a limbo rather like its hero's.
Cynthia Fuchs - PopMatters
Jonah Hex' is an exercise in silliness designed to rob you of $10.
C. Robert Cargill - Hollywood.com
You can surely tell this movie has been passed through the editing bay one too many times.
Bill Gibron - PopMatters
Why, in the name of all that is campy, can't a movie featuring a dynamite-loaded crossbow just have some fun?
Mark Dujsik - Sci-Fi Movie Page
Instead of a really good villain, you get...'I'm shooting you because it says in the script I'm supposed to shoot you now.'
Widgett Walls - Needcoffee.com
Hex has a direct line to the cemetery, able to unearth old acquaintances for some good old-fashioned catch-up time. Whoa, pardner ... is this paranormal activity or merely Facebook, circa 1876?
Kimberly Gadette - Indie Movies Online
There isn't a single reason to see this movie.
Cole Smithey - ColeSmithey.com
The issues that happened behind the camera, including the original directors leaving the project, are extremely obvious in the final product. The film is a complete disaster.
Kevin McCarthy - BDK Reviews
At times it is as if JONAH HEX was shot twice, and the editors could not decide which pieces to use, so they intercut both of them.
Steve Biodrowski - Cinefantastique
In Jonah Hex, Josh Brolin plays a Wild West bounty hunter who can talk to dead people. So how come he couldn't yank the film's director out of his coma?
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) - St. Paul Pioneer Press
Jonah Hex is not a good movie. Not by a long shot... But that didn't stop me from having a hell of a lot of fun watching it.
Kevin Carr - 7M Pictures
Not that anyone should confuse this with a good movie, but it features plenty of violence, plus Megan Fox in a corset. For action fans,that's entertainment.
Daniel M. Kimmel - New England Movies Weekly
Jonah Hex is a no doubt a bad film. That said, it has enough good elements to make you realize that it could have been awesome.
Mike McGranaghan - Aisle Seat
Brolin strides around talking to the dead and destroying things, mostly the good will he garnered after surprising everyone with No Country for Old Men and W.
Stephen Whitty - Newark Star-Ledger
It reexamines assumptions of good and evil-morality tale vs, trite entertainment-by confronting the hideous compromises people make with social conventions and their own desperation.
Armond White - New York Press
It's the latest in a long, stinking line of graphic-novels adapted to the screen in the wake of the huge, surprise success of Zack Snyder's far superior 2006 effort "300."
James Verniere - Boston Herald
The most chopped up, stitched together Frankenstein job in recent memory.
Jen Yamato - Movies.com
Everyone seems to be sleepwalking through this film. Except for Megan Fox, who is such a terrible actress that she couldn't even act like she's sleepwalking.
Marshall Fine - Hollywood & Fine
Awful and intolerably tedious, everyone connected with this abomination should hang their heads in shame.
Susan Granger - SSG Syndicate
Jonah Hex lost its way long before it hit the screen, laboring mightily to deliver a threadbare collection of postmortem detritus.
Rob Vaux - Mania.com
All I know is, the end couldn't come fast enough.
Kevin Williamson - Jam! Movies
I liked it so much, I really want to see the rest of it. It can't really be a 75 minute movie, right?
Fred Topel - Can Magazine
There's a Director's Cut version of Jonah Hex, right? Because this film feels like a series of bullet points disguised as a feature film.
Christian Toto - What Would Toto Watch?
A quintessential paycheck movie, made not because someone had a terrific vision for how to adapt the story but because a studio owned the rights and thought they could make some cash from it.
Eric D. Snider - EricDSnider.com
The film runs about 72 minutes in between the credits; it unfolds like a kid not understanding what he's reading but turning the page anyway.
Matt Pais - Metromix.com
Although it's got the shortest running time of anything we've seen all year, Jonah Hex doesn't feel so much snappily paced as it does rushed and disjointed.
Rebecca Murray - About.com
The filmmakers try to squeeze action from their trampling of a genre.
Matthew Sorrento - Bright Lights Film Journal
Jonah Hex would hate this movie. He would make fun of this movie.
Joshua Tyler - CinemaBlend.com
This comic book adaptation is an ill-defined mess of a film that attempts to shoehorn its character into a superhero "origin story" with vague hints of the supernatural.
Joe Lozito - Big Picture Big Sound
Easily a front runner for one of the worst mainstream releases of the year. (Parental Review also Available)
Jim Judy - Screen It!
The only people who deserve to see Jonah Hex are Hitler and the CEO of British Petroleum.
Willie Waffle - WaffleMovies.com
You could do worse than this and if you have been going to the movies this summer with any regularity, you most likely already have.
Peter Sobczynski - eFilmCritic.com
Jordan Hoffman - UGO
Yes, it's true... Jonah sux.
Drew McWeeny - HitFix
The lean story-telling works well for its taciturn characters and spare settings, presented by cinematographer Amundsen, and well scored with assistance from Mastodon.
Nell Minow - Beliefnet
a grindingly dull western-revenge-supernatural-terrorist-save-the-world mishmash that fails on every level. Did I ask why Megan Fox is here?
Robin Clifford - Reeling Reviews
Opening the same day as Toy Story 3 and an alternative for those who prefer their movies dark, no sugar, this likewise cowboy fantasy tackled a long taboo subject: The post-traumatic stress link between dirt poor Confederate grunts and Viet vets.
Prairie Miller - NewsBlaze
What can you say about a film where John Malkovich can't work up any enthusiasm for playing a villain?
Laura Clifford - Reeling Reviews
Darkman and The Quick and the Dead-- the two Sam Raimi films Jonah Hex most wants to be.
Walter Chaw - Film Freak Central
At 70 minutes sans credits, it gets in, does its business, and gets out as fast as it can. It's as if the studio knows what they've made isn't very good and want to spare paying audiences with the least amount of pain possible.
Calls to mind two of the worst westerns of the past thirty years...The problem isn't that the movie is moody and morose; it's that it's flat and tedious.
Frank Swietek - One Guy's Opinion
There's just nothing there; JONAH HEX is soulless.
Brad Miska - Bloody Disgusting
While Jonah Hex has its moments, it's ultimately yet another disappointing comic book adaptation.
Jim Vejvoda - IGN Movies
It's just too bad the movie didn't indulge its spookier, supernatural elements more, instead of relying on action movie cliches.
John DeVore - Premiere Magazine
Josh Brolin does the pizza-faced bounty hunter justice, but pretty much everyone else involved -- including Megan Fox -- lets him down.
Luke Y. Thompson - E! Online
Chris Cabin - Filmcritic.com
Every once in a while, a film limps into theaters so stitched together, it's a wonder it doesn't rip apart in the projector. Jonah Hex is such a film.
Keith Phipps - AV Club
Glossy and gutted, Jonah Hex turns the cowboy with a melted mouth into a grunting moviegoing chore. But at least it's a ridiculously short chore.
Brian Orndorf - BrianOrndorf.com
Seventy-three minutes, not counting the end credits. It may take longer driving to and from the theater... Normally such brevity is welcome, especially with Westerns since Kevin Costner already thinned our patience, three hours at a time.
Steve Persall - Tampa Bay Times
Jonah Hex definitely appears to be making itself up as it goes along.
Nick Schager - Slant Magazine