Leaky PT-boat of a comedy.
Stephen Holden - New York Times
I didn't laugh once, not even giggle.
Jeff Millar - Houston Chronicle
Jeff Strickler - Minneapolis Star Tribune
Susan Stark - Detroit News
A ham-fisted, fitfully amusing lark that quickly runs aground.
Leonard Klady - Variety
A useless movie. Not funny, suspenseful, moving or even offensive enough to want to torpedo. Just devoid of any conceivable value.
Liam Lacey - Globe and Mail
Suitable only for movie-goers who have undergone frontal lobotomies.
James Berardinelli - ReelViews
All apologies to the handful of Americans who've waited decades for this big-screen update of the '60s sitcom--the result is both awful and awfully irrelevant.
Rob Nelson - Boston Phoenix
This shotgun marriage of coarse laughs and low-rent action cliches is, of course, utterly predictable: Cutting-edge comedy isn't lurking under the corpses of old TV shows.
Maitland McDonagh - TV Guide's Movie Guide
Chuck O'Leary - Fantastica Daily
Emanuel Levy - EmanuelLevy.Com
Clint Morris - Film Threat
The most idiotic, unfunny script imaginable.
Robin Clifford - Reeling Reviews
Tom Arnold is no Ernest Borgnine. A profound statement.
Steve Crum - Kansas City Kansan
Frank Swietek - One Guy's Opinion
Dear God, why?
Ken Hanke - Mountain Xpress (Asheville, NC)
Jules Brenner - Cinema Signals
[Trots] out the same tired cliches -- unorthodox heroes, inept commanding officers, officious little weasels getting trampled by the zany crew -- which haven't been funny since...well, ever.
Scott Renshaw - rec.arts.movies.reviews
Philip Martin - Arkansas Democrat-Gazette
How to turn a so-so series into a witless movie. Earns a half-star for Bruce Campbell.
Scott Weinberg - eFilmCritic.com
By the end, this soporific comedy makes 105 minutes feel more like a two-year hitch.
Mick LaSalle - San Francisco Chronicle
This McHale's Navy would never have floated as programming ballast on a bad night of network TV.
Kim Williamson - Boxoffice Magazine
The problem is that when the jokes are as flat as two-day old Coke, your mind has time to think about all the plot incongruities too.
Leslie Rigoulot - Film Scouts
I'm not even going to get into the dialogue, the plot, the other performances, because as the sage advice goes, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
Oz - eFilmCritic.com
The process of conceiving, producing, and distributing this comedic Superfund site required active, premeditated thought and effort that, in a just world, would be punishable by hard jail time.
Russell Smith - Austin Chronicle
Sink it! Blub, blub, blub!
Bruce Kirkland - Jam! Movies
Yet another recycled sitcom turned feature film, and is about as appealing as a failed television pilot.
Madeleine Williams - Cinematter
An absolutely terrible movie, a comedy devoid of laughs.
- E! Online
A lot like the B movies of old. No huge stars, no Oscar-caliber anything, but diverting and entertaining.
MaryAnn Johanson - Flick Filosopher
A lot like its star, Tom Arnold -- big and bombastic, with no substance.
Chris Hicks - Deseret News, Salt Lake City