“... It Says Something About Our Culture (or Lack Thereof), When This Movie Has A Higher Box Office Gross Than There Will Be Blood And Into The Wild.”
“"I Loved It As Much As The Smell Of My Own Waste"”
“Better Things Have Appeared On My Toilet Paper After Wiping My Butt”
“Stop With The Stupid!”
“Stupid As Hell”
“He's Got Huge Package!”
“What A Disappointment!”
“Dumb,stupid,waste Of Time”
“"Spartans...dance Them Over The Cliffs!"”
“Great For Comedy”
“I Hate This Movie”
“Worst Of 2008 So Far”
“Suprisingly Didnt Suk TERRIBLEY (noticed How I Sed I Didnt Suk Terribley,meaning It Suked But It Wasnt The Worst Movie Ever Made ”
“I Loved This Movie 10/10 From Me.”
“Big Piece Of Shit”
“Wast Of Time”
“So Bad, I Walked Out ”
“Has No Humor In It”
“A Disapointing Blend Of Stupidity, Inapropriatness, And Horrible Visuals.”
“Stupid Very Stupid”
“Are You Kidding Me?”
“I Dislike These Filmmakers So Much That I Would Personally Kick Them Into The Pit Of Death.”
“Lets Rock Dude”
“Once Again, Another Spoof Movie Sucks!”
The result in Meet the Spartans is less classic Mel Brooks than middling Best Week Ever.
Clark Collis - Entertainment Weekly
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the team behind Meet the Spartans, prove that ridiculing other movies is much easier than making your own.
Jeannette Catsoulis - New York Times
It's a MADtv or Saturday Night Live sketch dressed up in feature-length clothing. It's way too much of an OK thing. And the way-too-much-ness goes on and on.
Mark Feeney - Boston Globe
I'm moving to Europe.
Aaron Hillis - Village Voice
It's so bad even Carmen Electra should be embarrassed.
Adam Graham - Detroit News
Lazy, lame and painfully unfunny.
Joe Leydon - Variety
Speaking of YouTube, let me save you 65 minutes. Go to the website, type in United 300, and see a far funnier, far more clever 300 spoof that's only five minutes long. From last spring.
Roger Moore - Orlando Sentinel
This was the worst movie I've ever seen, so bad that I hesitate to label it a 'movie' and thus reflect shame upon the entire medium of film.
Josh Levin - Slate
Writer-directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer basically reprise the tired formula from their earlier efforts, which is to throw in as many pop culture references as possible to cover up the lack of any real wit.
Frank Scheck - Hollywood Reporter
Meet The Spartans? For those unlucky enough to be lured into the cinema, there's every chance you'll be wanting to meet your maker instead.
Ben Rawson-Jones - Digital Spy
Because this movie was written for 10-year-olds, it assumes that those 10-year-olds are the stupidest 10-year-olds alive.
Dave White - Movies.com
What does it say about a film with an hour running time that has twenty minutes of outtakes after the credits to reach theatrical length? Very little that's positive.
Kevin A. Ranson - MovieCrypt.com
While still not a grand work of art, Meet the Spartans improves upon the formula established in the earlier parodies of Friedberg and Seltzer.
Wesley Lovell - Oscar Guy
Wesley Lovell - Cinema Sight
It's not very good at all, but I did manage to laugh at some moments of sudden pratfalls and comic violence, but the talkshow reference mentality has to go!
Austin Kennedy - Sin Magazine
A bizarre, leering orgy of celebrity crotches, lowbrow horny gay buffoons in leather, moronic gladiator mayhem, and too-much-information cascading bodily fluids galore.
Prairie Miller - NewsBlaze
Besides the few chuckles I had, the movie was just dreadfully bad.
Kevin McCarthy - WJFK-FM (CBS Radio)
everybody should be ashamed
Stefan Birgir Stefansson - sbs.is
Obviously, it's rubbish.
Simon Braund - Empire Magazine
This is supposed to be a spoof of '300.' But 'Meet the Spartans' isn't a satire of anything. It's just a bunch of body-function-based skits that randomly feature scenes from movies and television shows -- and not a single one of them is laugh-inducing
Linda Cook - Quad City Times (Davenport, IA)
...couldn't get a laugh from a hyena.
Jim Lane - Sacramento News & Review
Meet the Spartans can't even get its fart jokes right. How incredibly sad is that?
Bill Gibron - Filmcritic.com
One of the most painfully bad comedies I've ever had to endure, and I've seen the collected works of Martin Lawrence, Tim Allen, Ice Cube AND Cedric the Entertainer
Garth Franklin - Dark Horizons
To devote an entire feature film to making fun of another film's universally acknowledged gay subtext seems to me good cause for said filmmakers to have a sit-down with their muse, because somebody's been sleeping on the job.
Kimberley Jones - Austin Chronicle
Messrs. Friedberg and Seltzer make their annual locust-like descent on theaters leaving a trail of ruthlessly murdered brain cells in their wake.
Ken Hanke - Mountain Xpress (Asheville, NC)
When the comedy revolution comes, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer will be the first ones shot.
Eric D. Snider - EricDSnider.com
It's rare that a movie makes me ill these days, and it's rare that I can see a movie and hate the people behind it with such abhorrence, but "Meet the Spartans" rises to the challenge...
Felix Vasquez Jr. - Film Threat
Dumb, raunchy comedy is a tired spoof attempt.
S. Jhoanna Robledo - Common Sense Media
Inane comedies can be fun when done well, but bad inane comedies are simply embarrassing. You feel pity for the actors making fools of themselves, and flabbergasted that a studio probably passed on making so many other more worthy projects instead.
Stax - IGN Movies
If you part ways with $12 for a ticket to see this thing -- that's before parking and popcorn -- you're barking mad.
Liz Braun - Jam! Movies
It's mind-boggling to imagine that this witless, amateurish mess came from supposedly professional writers and directors.
Frank Lovece - Film Journal International
The musical number that runs during the closing credits is funnier than anything that precedes it, which isn't saying much.
Maitland McDonagh - TV Guide's Movie Guide
Clocking in around 69 minutes total, Meet the Spartans is not a movie. All involved should feel slightly ashamed.
Scott Weinberg - Cinematical
Witlessly crude and vulgar - it's my first Worst Movies of 2008 contender.
Susan Granger - SSG Syndicate
It aims to be a so-called spoof of 300 but only succeeds at being a commercial for idiocy.
Michael Ferraro - Bronsonfive
At the risk of praising with faint damning, Meet the Spartans isn't the worst film I've ever seen; however, I'm not suggesting that this feature-length parody of 300 is good in any way.
Mark Pfeiffer - Reel Times: Reflections on Cinema
Don't expect anything of depth and you won't be disappointed by this predigested pabulum.
Kam Williams - NewsBlaze
While there's enough comedic material there for as many as three somewhat tolerable minutes of MADtv, Meet The Spartans gamely alternates between unfunny gay jokes and violent pratfalls for a good 80 minutes.
Steven Hyden - AV Club
Is its purported idiocy put to a worthwhile use, or is this just another stale retreat of MADtv?
Rob Humanick - Slant Magazine
You only have to wait 5 seconds into the movie to get the first vomit joke, and if that doesn't drive you out of the theater and on your way to see Cloverfield again, nothing will.
Willie Waffle - WaffleMovies.com
Meet the Spartans is a downtrodden cinematic vacuuma sickening, derivative, shallow, condescending, utterly worthless piece of ....
Dustin Putman - DustinPutman.com
Frequently pauses to shower someone with vomit, pus, urine or excrement. It should be called Meet the Bodily Fluids.
Josh Larsen - Sun Publications (Chicago, IL)
OK, I get it now: Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg are agents of Satan himself, and their recruitment video is Meet the Spartans...a new low even for these diseased buffoons.
Brian Orndorf - eFilmCritic.com
What's the point of making a parody that's dumber than the stuff it parodies?
Gene Seymour - Newsday
It's only about an hour and a quarter long, although a closing dance number stretches it out another few minutes. Brevity, it turns out, is also the soul of stupidity.
Jay Stone - Canada.com
You could teach a college course on what not to do in a comedy by showing Meet the Spartans.
Kevin Carr - 7M Pictures
Perhaps the most oft-quoted line from 300 is "Tonight, we dine in hell!" Chowing down on a box of Butterfinger Minis during a screening of Meet the Spartans, you will truly understand what that line means.
Luke Y. Thompson - New Times
It is so bad that when it introduces a running gag involving blurred upskirt shots, you can almost hear the actors just out of camera range trying to get them to move the blurs up high enough to hide their faces as well
Peter Sobczynski - eFilmCritic.com
Until the mainstream produces some films undeserving of idiot violation, the idiot violation represented by Meet the Spartans -- a Xerox of absolute zero -- will be par for the course.
Adam Nayman - eye WEEKLY