“3D Tits And Ass Nice”
“BOOBIES IN 3D 0_0”
“B-movie Directors, Take Note: 'Piranha 3D' Gets It Exactly Right. It's Not A Comedy, Per Se, But It's An Absolute Blast From Start To Finish That Has You Laughing Along With It Instead Of At It.”
“Exploitation, Sex Drugs, Rock And Roll And Over The Top Drastically Gory Vibrant Deaths, Yes It Is Piranha 3D.”
“Definitely A B Movie”
“Not The Film Of Terror, But The Topless Girls Movie With Herbs Terror”
“The Previews Said Jaws. The Actual Movie Was Not; 85% Porn & 15% Action.”
“THANK GOD I ATE, BEFORE THAT MOVIE STARTED!!”
“Piranha 3D Is A Lot Of Fun But It Is Definitely Not Great!”
“... As It Is Though, It's Everything You'd Expect From Aja And A Film About Insatiable Piranhas That Prey Upon Naked Chicks And Boozed-up Lads...”
“Piranha For What It Is , Is A Good Movie & Is An All Out Gory And Extremely Fun Film , That Makes Us All Never Want To Swim Again , With The Body Count On High , And Running A Nice And Smooth 90mins What Better Could You ..ask For? O Wait Its In 3D.......”
“Piranha 3D Is Just Plain Fun. Plain, Adult, Topless-chick, Blood-spewing, Dismembered, 3D Insane Fun That Is Probably The Best Way To Close Out A Lackluster Summer At The Theater.”
“PIRANHA 3D IS A GORY MESS!!!”
It's hard to imagine how scenes of mass dismemberment set during a wet T-shirt contest could be staged any better.
Owen Gleiberman - Entertainment Weekly
What is disturbing is the talent and distinction of much of the cast, whose mere presence seems to signify an element of smart, self-conscious fun that the movie does not really supply.
A.O. Scott - New York Times
The softcore cynicism wore me down a bit.
Peter Bradshaw - Guardian [UK]
A movie this adolescently dirty-minded could hardly pass up a chance to go to Lake Titicaca.
Wesley Morris - Boston Globe
If you're looking for signs of intelligent life -- well, did you really expect to find them in a remake of a Seventies B-movie anyway?
Elizabeth Weitzman - New York Daily News
This moderately entertaining popcorn thriller recaptures the B-movie spirit of such vintage schlockmeisters as Samuel Z. Arkoff and Roger Corman.
Joshua Katzman - Chicago Reader
An awe-inspiring, stomach-churning journey into blood, gore, and boobs directed by one of France's most talented horror auteurs, Alexandre Aja.
Tirdad Derakhshani - Philadelphia Inquirer
The 32-year-old carnivorous fish franchise has lost none of its bite, serving up a fresh batch of spring-break revelers for the fearsome creatures to attack.
Peter Debruge - Variety
Piranha 3D goes for the jugular. And generally misses, but generally in an amusing way.
Roger Moore - Orlando Sentinel
Aja's ability to spoof an easy target gives 'Piranha 3-D' its primary thrill factor. All those scenes of wriggling naked bodies torn to shreds have obvious cathartic potential.
Eric Kohn - indieWIRE
Piranha 3D is more funny than disgusting, even when screen fills with half-nude swimmers, bobbing like human dumplings in a roiling vat of borscht. This isn't just sick, it's clas-sick!
Liam Lacey - Globe and Mail
For most of Piranha 3D, Aja skates along the line separating satire/camp from horror without straying into the realm of outright parody.
James Berardinelli - ReelViews
A bloody entertaining blast of a flesh-eating fish-out-of-water story.
Michael Rechtshaffen - Hollywood Reporter
Mere words cannot describe how awesomely gnarly Piranha 3D is, how hugely entertaining, and how urgently you must get yourself to the theatre to see it. Like, now.
Christy Lemire - Associated Press
Piranha 3D ends the summer on a note of shamelessly entertaining B movie bottomfeeding.
Peter Travers - Rolling Stone
[Tries] so hard for the laughs and the allusions amid all the gore, and endless bloodbath of bare naked ladies, that it completely forgets to frighten anyone.
Betsy Sharkey - Los Angeles Times
"Piranha 3D," although cliched, embraces its genre and is a highly-enjoyable fun B-movie.
John Hanlon - Big Hollywood
I understand what the filmmakers were trying to do and they almost pulled it off, but there's no sense in making the audience slog through a dreary 40+ minutes before the fun actually begins.
Jeff Beck - Examiner.com
- National Post
The best example of the level of art that Piranha 3D aspires to comes when a guy gets his dick chomped off and it gracefully floats down towards you in 3D.
Steve Newton - Georgia Straight
This action-thriller will eat you alive. Paul Chambers, CNN.
Paul Chambers - CNNRadio
Aja once again proves that no one understands the aesthetic of ample arterial spray better than the foreign horror geek.
Bill Gibron - PopMatters
...a mildly watchable B-movie effort that could have (and should have) been so much better.
David Nusair - Reel Film Reviews
full review at Movies for the Masses
Joseph Proimakis - Movies for the Masses
Fails in being an entertaining satire and a competent horror film...
Felix Vasquez Jr. - Cinema Crazed
There?s a dull predictability to the set pieces; when you see a topless para-skier bob in-and-out of the water, it?s inevitable that she?ll rise into the air without any legs.
Sean Means - Salt Lake Tribune
Piranha 3D gets honestly earned points for the creative energy it sustains in the arena of creatively gory dispatches, non-torture porn division.
Neither gore enthusiasts nor boobie fans will be disappointed. Piranha 3D knows what it is and embraces it, from stupid disobedience to kids in peril to sexy exploitative silliness, with a remarkable level of humor and competence.
Karina Montgomery - rec.arts.movies.reviews
Coarse, crass and mind-boggling shameless? Hell, yeah! Alexandre Aja's remake of the Joe Dante/John Sayles' killer-fish movie flies its trash flag high.
Maitland McDonagh - Miss FlickChick
A movie fueled by the wet dreams and rage fantasies of a thousand pubescent boys. Perfectly attuned to its audience -- 3D boobs, gore and dodgy science abound.
Marc Fennell - Triple j
a wickedly effective cinematic union of suspense and irony, topped with an invigorating dash of dry wit
Andrea Chase - Killer Movie Reviews
Even if the rest is immediately forgettable, the massacre scene isn't.
Kevin A. Ranson - MovieCrypt.com
Its only saving grace, if the film can really be said to have one, is that the filmmakers were fully aware that they weren't making anything that could be taken seriously.
Jeff Vice - Deseret News, Salt Lake City
Crasser than even a movie with Eli Roth as the host of a wet T-shirt contest needs to be, yet there's no denying that director Alexandre Aja stages the flesh-eating, comin'-at-ya chaos with bloodthirsty glee.
John Beifuss - Commercial Appeal (Memphis, TN)
Many new 3D films aren't designed for the medium, but Piranha 3D is ideal: an exploitation movie with lashings of blood, bouncing bare breasts, and masticated body parts being thrown around, all fake as hell and often funny.
Julie Rigg - MovieTime, ABC Radio National
Not for the squeamish or faint-hearted, it's sicko scary, spewing gallons-upon-gallons of R-rated graphic bloody gore. Not surprisingly, a succulent sequel is in the works.
Susan Granger - www.susangranger.com
Hell hath no fury like a school of hungry, teen-eating piranhas!
Kam Williams - TheLoop21.com
Too unbelievably crass to live, and wonderful because of it.
Tim Brayton - Antagony & Ecstasy
Aja rejects the victim mentality of horror for the past ten years and crafts a legit throwback to the classic slasher doubling as Morality Play. Well done.
Jimmy O - Film Snobs
There comes a point where you can't decide whether you're bored or nauseous, or a little bit of both.
Mayer Nissim - Digital Spy
Occasionally a reviewer has no choice but to dismount from his high horse, set aside minor considerations such as intelligence and good taste, and evaluate a film strictly on the basis of whether or not it delivers to its targeted audience.
Don Groves - sbs.com.au
Can we ask anything more of a popcorn horror flick? No, we cannot.
Shaula Clark - Boston Phoenix
Pretty limbs are torn rudely off, a girl being carried out of the water splits in two, and Lake Victoria turns blood red with the carnage.
Derek Malcolm - This is London
Let's get this over with: 'Piranha 3D' is softcore exploitation.
Linda Cook - Quad City Times (Davenport, IA)
Horny horror-movie revelers tend to deserve what's coming to them, a sentiment French-born director Alexandre Aja embraces with maniacal glee in a third-act massacre that's downright ruthless.
Chuck Wilson - L.A. Weekly
Gratuitous in every sense of the word.
Marc Savlov - Austin Chronicle
There's a degree of gruff integrity at work for at least two-thirds of Alexandre Aja's grindhouse piranhapalooza Piranha 3D.
Stephanie Zacharek - Movieline
Insultingly the filmmakers thought that modern audiences want lots of nudity and lots of gore, but would not appreciate decent writing or interesting characters.
Mark R. Leeper - rec.arts.movies.reviews
While stretches of the movie are terrible, there's enough gory goodness to put it over the top.
Bob Grimm - Reno News and Review
While most horror movies attempt to draw sympathy for its victims, Piranha revels in sadistic glee as thousands of teens are torn apart with unparalleled ferocity, turning crystal waters blood red for the adulation of the audience.
Matthew Pejkovic - FILMINK (Australia)
As far as cheesy, sexist and violent B-movies go, Piranha 3D is a blast.
Anders Wotzke - Cut Print Review
Anders Wotzke - Moviedex
Like most movies seeking instant cult-film status, something is missing -- authentic exploitation madness maybe.
Ken Hanke - Mountain Xpress (Asheville, NC)
The carnage is incredible, with each death more imaginative and bad-taste funny than the last.
Andreas Heinemann - Flicks.co.nz
Has just the right tone of playfulness.
Jeffrey M. Anderson - Common Sense Media
That most unlikely of remakes -- an improvement.
Joshua Rothkopf - Time Out New York
Just because a film knows its trash, doesn't mean it should be forgiven of being so.
Matthew Pejkovic - Matt's Movie Reviews
Silliness reigns in Alexandre Aja's agreeably cartoonish remake of the '70s exploitation picture.
Ethan Alter - Film Journal International
Relying on gross-out and shock in place of smarts or suspense, it's a film that reeks of talented people deliberately miring themselves in low-rent schlock.
Nick Setchfield - SFX Magazine
The violence is gory, gratuitous and convincingly staged, a credit to effects duo Howard Berger and Greg Nicotero, whose carnage looks impressively (or nauseatingly) real, even if the boobs are not.
Rossiter Drake - San Francisco Examiner
Packed with enough nudity to make Russ Meyer proud (if it was my movie I would have named it "Piranha 3DD")
Michael A. Smith - Moviehole
Once the mayhem begins in earnest, you'll get more or less what you wanted. Or, rather, more or less what you were expecting to settle for.
Eric D. Snider - EricDSnider.com
Take a look at the Piranha 3D poster or watch the trailer online. You'll know by the end if you want to see it and if you do, then you'll have a blast.
Mike Barnard - Future Movies UK
There is, it turns out, a clear demarcation point past which ravaged flesh and floating body parts become a bit boring.
Rob Gonsalves - eFilmCritic.com
They not only embraced the When Animals Attack genre, they dry humped it.
Widgett Walls - Needcoffee.com
The film delivers exactly what horror fans like and what the rest of us loftily dismiss as low-rent rubbish.
- Daily Express
Boobs are back on the big screen. And lots of blood. Plus, this film has more awareness of campy fun then Stallone's 'The Expendables.'
Jeff Bayer - The Scorecard Review
This is a film that has nothing more on its mind than providing viewers with a slick'n'sleazy exploitation item that crams more blood and body parts (attached and otherwise) into a 90-minute time frame than any other movie in history.
Peter Sobczynski - eFilmCritic.com
Kofi Outlaw - ScreenRant
funny and gross and tasteless as it is, it frequently feels like too much, as if Aja is swinging for the fences of cult moviedom at every moment
James Kendrick - Q Network Film Desk
Piranha 3D is nothing less than the Avatar of B movie schlockfests.
Thomas Leupp - Hollywood.com
A gory, self-aware joyride that is insane in all the right ways.
Mike McGranaghan - Aisle Seat
delivers truly imaginative levels of gore and mayhem
Jesse Hassenger - Filmcritic.com
Those who go in craving blood, gore, breasts, and Ving Rhames going medieval on a school of prehistoric, flesh-eating piranha are going to leave the theater with big, silly grins on their faces. (Parental Review also Available)
Teddy Durgin - Screen It!
If you're in the mood for such schlock, you could do worse. That's what's called faint praise.
Frank Swietek - One Guy's Opinion
Parents keep your annoying kids out of my R Rated Movies! Has a bit of build up but once the carnage finally hits, it's 20 - 30 minutes of absolute, beautiful, mayhem.
Michelle Alexandria - Eclipse Magazine
Making a great B movie requires more than just fake blood and breasts, something the minds behind Piranha 3D already know.
Christian Toto - What Would Toto Watch?
A blast of black humour, much of it referring to other films, makes this riotously violent remake rather a lot of fun.
Rich Cline - Shadows on the Wall
[Proves] yet again that there's no concept so foolproof filmmakers can't screw it up.
Nathan Rabin - AV Club
I must confess that I have a sneaking admiration for knowingly humorous movies that exploit the worst instincts of their target audience.
Christopher Tookey - Daily Mail [UK]
A non-stop buzz machine that runs on boobs and blood, offering everything you'd ever want to see in a movie whose logline is 'Thousands of prehistoric piranha attack Spring Breakers.
Devin Faraci - CHUD
Delivering all sorts of bloody goodness, Piranha is Alex Aja's best film since High Tension... It's damn fun, and off the hook bloody.
Brad Miska - Bloody Disgusting
Forget about 'Avatar'... Kelly Brook is the reason 3D was created.
Drew McWeeny - HitFix
Exactly the kind of cheese I love!
Chris Bumbray - JoBlo's Movie Emporium
These bros and bimbos are jerk tartare. Go, fish, go!
Amy Nicholson - Boxoffice Magazine
So good-natured in its approach to trashy entertainment that it's hard to resist the ride. Provided you're not too busy vomiting in the aisles.
Geoff Berkshire - Metromix.com
Had Christopher Lloyd ended his scene with a "great scott!" utterance, it might have simply been too much to handle at one time.
Dustin Putman - DustinPutman.com
80,000 gallons of fake blood, extreme violence, gore, terribly cheesy dialogue, legit scares, high tension, porn stars and a wet T-shirt contest all in 3D. Are you sold yet?
Kevin McCarthy - BDK Reviews
A ridiculous gore-fest that falls completely flat in terms of character, dialogue, and logic but pops off the screen in the areas in which it really counts for a movie about prehistoric man-eating fish.
Brian Tallerico - HollywoodChicago.com
Hands down and body parts floating, the most irresistibly sick movie in years is Piranha 3D, which should be retitled Piranha 3D, Double-D and C for all the topless cuties director Alexandre Aja feeds the fish and audience.
Steve Persall - St. Petersburg Times
Guilty pleasures belong to August, 3D belongs in the grindhouse... and when the authorities tell you to get the hell out of the water, you really, really should.
Rob Vaux - Mania.com
...packs in exposed boobies and dismembered bodies like a 50-gallon aquarium stuffed with maraschino cherries.
Cole Smithey - ColeSmithey.com
The film more closely evokes the B-movie spirit that gave birth to stereoscopic cinema than any of its contemporaries.
Robert Levin - Critic's Notebook
Steve Persall - Tampa Bay Times
May actually surpass its 80's Velveeta inspirations - a film so absurdly gratuitous that it somehow becomes weirdly pure. It knows precisely what it is.
Andrew Wright - The Stranger (Seattle, WA)
Too much Jersey Shore, not enough piranhas.
Gina Carbone - Seacoast Newspapers (NH/Maine)
A very gory but equally funny guilty pleasure with a keen sense of its own ridiculousness.
David Edwards - Daily Mirror [UK]
Delivers exactly what you'd expect: gushers of blood, ripped flesh by the kilo, and acres of bare booty and boobs (some of them real).
Kurt Loder - MTV
Brilliantly cast, gleefully gory and featuring more nudity than is probably strictly necessary, this is a hugely enjoyable creature feature with terrific 3D effects.
Matthew Turner - ViewLondon
It's silly but not unwatchable, and has the nous not to take itself too seriously...
Anthony Quinn - Independent
Like a Troma production with a bigger budget and a better-known cast, but just as much gore, gratuitous nudity and disregard for good taste.
Kevin N. Laforest - Montreal Film Journal
Piranha 3D proves a worthy heir to its brazen exploitation-cinema forefathers.
Nick Schager - Slant Magazine
Though it's campy and gory, but for all its hype, it's best to save your money rather than spring the dough for special effects that aren't that spectacular -- or even eye-popping.
Wilson Morales - AOL Black Voices
Nothing more than a fun summer popcorn movie.
Dennis Schwartz - Ozus' World Movie Reviews
The new Piranha 3D lived down to my absolute lowest expectations and I say that with nothing but gleeful affection.
Beth Accomando - KPBS.org
As for the gore, well, if Aja couldn't deliver that, it would be like Al Gore being at a loss for words.
Jim Slotek - Jam! Movies
Remember the film you hoped Snakes On A Plane would be -- this is it!
Kim Newman - Empire Magazine
The suspense is as skimpy as the swimwear...
Tim Robey - Daily Telegraph
...because "Piranha 3D" unabashedly embraces exploitation, I would like to cut it some slack... The problem is that it isn't even good exploitation.
Steve Biodrowski - Cinefantastique
Makes a Gwar concert look like a Jane Austen book club meeting...good-natured fun, not for every taste, but a specified, sun-soaked ride of debauchery, marvelously executed.
Brian Orndorf - BrianOrndorf.com
The definitive film for this latest 3-D era: It exploits sex and gore the same way studios are exploiting moviegoers with 3-D ticket prices.
Josh Larsen - LarsenOnFilm
Unapologetically gleeful about doling out the cinematic junk food that you're looking for when you sit down to devour something called, well, Piranha.
Scott Weinberg - FEARnet
It's Elisabeth Shue and Ving Rhames to the rescue in this low-tech drive-in throwback, complete with corny jokes, unnecessary gore, stunt casting and plenty of skin.
Peter Paras - E! Online
Keep a protective hand poised above the 3D specs.
Nigel Andrews - Financial Times
The Citizen Kane of killer piranha movies.
Dave White - Movies.com
Has plenty of good, old-fashioned blood & guts and the kind of full frontal nudity that's guaranteed to send young boys into puberty.
Jen Yamato - Movies.com
Piranha 3D is not for everyone. But if you're thinking about seeing a film called Piranha 3D, chances are you'll be delighted with it. Watch this sick filth now.
Robbie Collin - News of the World
Aside from the 3D gimmick, there's not much on offer here that the low-budget original didn't include, with plenty of comical gore, snappy thrills and in-joke references.
Alan Jones - Radio Times
Aja serves up the tongue-in-cheek thrills, CGI-enhanced gore and gratuitous nudity with such unabashed relish that this may prove to be the summer's break-out horror hit.
Nigel Floyd - Time Out