There will be people who won't go to United 93 because they think it will be depressing yet will go to Poseidon expecting an exciting night at the movies, and I guess I don't understand how their brains work.
Poseidon betrays a studio mindset that can only hasten the current erosion of movie attendance -- skimping on human content while betting heedlessly on boom boom boom and gurgle gurgle gurgle.
You will definitely gasp and gulp while watching the new film. But, sadly, these reactions won't be traced to the expert effects. Instead, you'll find yourself gasping and gulping at the incredibly lame dialogue.
We've sailed these waters before. Poseidon has been reimagined, if that's the word for it, in an impersonal, Palm Piloted manner, though not without its share of unintended laughs.
There's nothing hip or ironic about Poseidon, which makes Russell and Lucas the perfect leading men: jut-jawed, macho, and able to keep a straight face while being pinned by fake beams, and held hostage by page upon page of sappy dialogue.