“"We Believe What We Want To Believe."”
“Priest....You're Gonna Burn In Hell!!”
“First, You'll See Ghost Rider And Hell-Boy Vs. A Powerful Witch. Then, It'll Be You Against Your Movie Theatre Trying To Get Your Cash Back. Good Luck. Ding! Ding! Ding!”
“Bewitched By Atrocious: Acting, Directing, And Cage's Wig”
“This Plague Has Been Brought On To Us By The Black Witch. No, More Likely A Plague Brought On By Director Dominic Sena”
“A Somewhat Entertaining Thriller That Seems Better Suited As A Made-for-TV-movie Than A Feature Film Starring Oscar Winner Nicolas Cage. None-the-less The Movie Delivers What Is Promised, A Semi-engaging Sword & Sorcery Flick With Spotty VFX At Best.”
“A Modern Iranian Adultery Trial As Imagined In The 14th Century By A Terminally Silly Dream.”
“If You Can Sit Through An Uwe Boll Movie, And Be Genuinely Entertained; Then Run, Don't Walk, To See Season Of The Witch.”
If you can sit through an Uwe Boll movie, and be genuinely entertained; then run, don't walk, to see Season of the Witch.
Julian Roman - MovieWeb
It's got videogame-from-hell F/X, plus jousting, plus Cage in tangled long hair he seems to have mistakenly put in the washing machine.
Owen Gleiberman - Entertainment Weekly
A 14th-century road movie with 21st-century cuss words.
Jeannette Catsoulis - New York Times
A mishmash of horror and history genres that's not as bad as its trailers but ultimately is dragged down by, of all things, its star.
Scott Bowles - USA Today
After a while, the movie tires of the witch business and trots out a plot twist that permits the effects department to spend money.
Wesley Morris - Boston Globe
Rather than elevating this wanna-be Hammer horror flick, Cage somehow lowers its quality.
Joe Neumaier - New York Daily News
Welcome to the January dead zone.
Joe Morgenstern - Wall Street Journal
Even the most dedicated of Nicolas Cage's fans will find little to enjoy about the historical-fantasy-action romp Season of the Witch.
Gary Dowell - Dallas Morning News
Ever since Bergman's "The Virgin Spring" was remade as "Last House on the Left," his work has suggested a rich mine for homage.
Roger Ebert - Chicago Sun-Times
Cage alternates between leaden line readings and thunderous outbursts, making his accomplished costars Ulrich Thomsen and Stephen Campbell Moore look even better. But the movie's worst aspect is the CGI, which packs no scares whatsoever.
Andrea Gronvall - Chicago Reader
Season of the Witch is a fine example of a film that would've been great fun if only its creators had a sense of humor about the wild brew of absurdity they had percolating.
Andrew Barker - Variety
Audiences considering "Season of the Witch" should heed the timeless advice of its ancestor "Holy Grail" -- run away!
Kyle Smith - New York Post
Cage's old pal Dominic Sena is a decade removed from their "Gone in 60 Seconds" directing glory, and he gets nothing out of this script that isn't pure hokum.
Roger Moore - Orlando Sentinel
Did either Cage or Sena even bother reading Bragi F. Schut's patchwork script, before adjusting the wig, flicking on the camera and cashing the pay cheques?
Peter Howell - Toronto Star
Another movie is turned into a turkey.
Rick Groen - Globe and Mail
Off the top of my head, I'm guessing that "Season of the Witch" claims a place in the top five all-time bizarre and pointless homages to art cinema.
Andrew O'Hehir - Salon.com
Cage is effective as a falling down drunk in Las Vegas or a treasure hunter navigating goofy road trips but not as a disillusioned champion of the Church going one-on-one with a demon. Steven Seagal would have been more believable.
James Berardinelli - ReelViews
A CGI freakout at the finale can't save this mundane medieval thriller about witches, devils and disillusioned knights.
Kirk Honeycutt - Hollywood Reporter
It takes place during the 14th century, but everyone speaks in contemporary language, which might have been acceptable if the dialogue were clever or intelligent or funny or, you know, good.
Christy Lemire - Associated Press
Season of the Witch is as bloodless as a starved vampire. Instead of a review, it deserves a stake in the heart.
Peter Travers - Rolling Stone
Directed by the perennially hollow Dominic Sena from a script by Bragi Schut, "Season of the Witch" is all seams. It never balances out its competing desires...
Mark Olsen - Los Angeles Times
Cage merely stands around looking glum, letting his hair extensions do the acting for him.
Sean Burns - Philadelphia Weekly
The filmmakers try to use special effects to cover up the weaknesses of the story, but even on that point they fail pretty badly.
Jeff Beck - Examiner.com
Not the stinker that everyone says it is, but you do have to ignore its flaws in order to be entertained.
James Plath - Movie Metropolis
Another forgettable trifle from Cage.
It's an Uwe Boll kind of film that's been directed with a certain degree of competency by previous Cage collaborator Dominic Sena.
Kevin Carr - 7M Pictures
Have low expectations for this movie and you might just be surprised.
Ben Rawson-Jones - Digital Spy
I may be in the minority of critics to think so, but Season Of The Witch is an enjoyable medieval thriller that's well-made in spite of some moments of silliness.
Matt Neal - The Standard
Although I will likely be disemboweled from my toes to my nose (metaphorically speaking only, I hope) for this proclamation, I didn't think Season of the Witch was all that bad!*
Brandon Fibbs - BrandonFibbs.com
Cage's disappointingly subdued performance stands as the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back...
David Nusair - Reel Film Reviews
Ed Whitfield - The Ooh Tray
Guns are fun in movies, but bashing about with broadswords speaks to the 12-year-old in all of us.
Burl Burlingame - Honolulu Star-Advertiser
Director Dominic Sena sets a quick pace; the dull moments are brightened by the unexpectedly likable team of Cage and Perlman.
Rafer Guzman - Newsday
For long, long stretches, [it's] too leaden and dour to be any fun at all.
Bob Westal - Bullz-Eye.com
It's amazing how little entertainment value there is in watching Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman play world-weary Crusaders in a movie called Season Of The Witch. Come on! It's Ghost Rider and Hellboy!
Norman Wilner - NOW Toronto
Anti-Oscar-movie people, this one is for you.
Dave White - Movies.com
Paul Younger - ScreenRant
- National Post
Just how big was that IRS bill, anyway?
Pete Vonder Haar - Houston Press
It's a bit cheesy but there is action and tension and strong graphic effects - and even a deadpan moment
Andrew L. Urban - Urban Cinefile
Avoid it -- wait for it -- like the Black Plague.
Shaun Munro - What Culture
Spellbinding it's not.
Linda Cook - KWQC-TV (Iowa)
Witch's Spell only Partially Effective
Charles Koplinski - Illinois Times
From script to editing, this Witch doesn't float.
James Mottram - Total Film
Nicolas Cage=Modern Day Bela Lugosi in Declining Years
Bob Grimm - Reno News and Review
Begins with a bang (a hanged witch rises from a watery grave to dispatch her tormenter) but ends with a thud (a bungled exorcism releases a silly-looking computer-animated demon).
John Beifuss - Commercial Appeal (Memphis, TN)
This painfully earnest and overblown medieval swords-and-sorcery road movie is unlikely to warm the cockles of any but the most die-hard fans of Cage's stentorian growl and arch overacting.
Marc Savlov - Austin Chronicle
Director Dominic Sena is more like a less amusing Uwe Boll than Ingmar Bergman.
Ken Hanke - Mountain Xpress (Asheville, NC)
Dominic Sena directs all this stuff and nonsense with a paucity of fun unbecoming a loopy tale of medieval witches starring Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman.
Tim Brayton - Antagony & Ecstasy
Poor plot twists and CGI-heavy action further muddle what might have been an intriguing story of fanaticism and superstition.
Peg Aloi - Boston Phoenix
It's Centurion Deux without the second-coming-of-Carpenter pretense, though you still wish the trashiness were more distinctive.
Keith Uhlich - Time Out
Season of the Witch suffers from a general laziness.
Jeffrey M. Anderson - Common Sense Media
How many mediocre movies can Nicolas Cage make and still have a career? I guess we will wait and see.
Jackie K. Cooper - jackiekcooper.com
A cursed abomination...as a priest observes, 'We're going to need more holy water!'
Susan Granger - SSG Syndicate
The only time I was even modestly entertained was when the 10-year-old boy sitting behind me (obviously taken out of school to see the film by his model parents) started belching unrelentingly at the screen.
Danny Minton - Fort Bend Sun
Makes The Last Airbender look like Avatar.
Robert Roten - Laramie Movie Scope
Did they really say "I've saved your ass" in medieval Europe?
Allan Hunter - Daily Express
While certainly no Witchfinder General, it doesn't deserve to be burned at the stake.
Jon Hamblin - SFX Magazine
'Season of the Witch' entertains, but don't get me wrong, it's a bad movie.
Jeff Bayer - The Scorecard Review
This is the puffy-faced Nic Cage. The one who fights for Christ and Little Debbies and not necessarily in that order.
Mark Ramsey - MovieJuice!
[VIDEO] This movie sucks so awfully that you'd think it was a vicious prank.
Cole Smithey - ColeSmithey.com
It will probably be the worst reviewed movie of the year, it may break up couples mid-date night, and fraternities are sure to use it in tandem with contraband beverage Four Loko for Hell Week hazing. But come on, it's not that bad.
Mike Ward - Richmond.com
Authenticity takes a back seat. Swordfights, wolf-punching and zombie monks clamber into the front seat and smash a hole through the windscreen.
Robbie Collin - News of the World
You've seen more convincing medieval performances from guys at Ye Olde Pancake House after a LARP scrimmage. With all the dead birds and fish, this might seem like a timely piece of apocalyptic fiction. But such pestilence is annual par for Nicolas Cage.
Nick Rogers - Suite101.com
We need a serious suspension of disbelief to accept these two aging actors as faultless warriors in tip-top shape.
Matthew Sorrento - Film Threat
Disregards characters, emotions and even dramatic tension in favour of an endless parade of 'cool shit' to impress its perceived audience of 13 year olds.
Charlie Lyne - Ultra Culture
If it's January, it must be time for another Nicolas Cage film
Bill Gibron - Filmcritic.com
Because this is the first release of 2011, it would too be easy to crown "Season of the Witch" the worst film of the year, but I'm sure it will live up to that title for weeks to come.
Christopher Smith - Bangor Daily News (Maine)
I couldn't shake the feeling that it might have been conceived and filmed as a comedy, then edited so that it plays like a thriller.
Mike McGranaghan - Aisle Seat
more like a troubled nap than a compelling flick
Andrea Chase - Killer Movie Reviews
Dull: the last thing a freakin' period-piece action-adventure occult thriller should be.
Scott Weinberg - FEARnet
As the stakes rise, time for buddy-comedy drops; the jolts are too minor to register, the action mostly unimpressive.
Vadim Rizov - Boxoffice Magazine
The film is not altogether dreadful, although it's far from good. And that's not good. Classic stinkeroos are rarer than masterpieces, and we all need a laugh now and then, even if the laughs are inadvertent.
Peter Rainer - Christian Science Monitor
Just wait for the viral video highlights, coming soon to a computer screen near you.
Geoff Berkshire - Metromix.com
The screenplay is like a transcription of a Dungeons and Dragons session... The 'performances' are like clueless imitations of Monty Python by actors who don't understand comedy.
MaryAnn Johanson - Flick Filosopher
It'll come as little surprise to anyone who follows Cage's career that he's picked yet another dud. Yes, after Knowing, Bangkok Dangerous, G-Force and Next, the follically-challenged actor has done it again.
David Edwards - Daily Mirror [UK]
Not a good film by any stretch of the imagination, but far from Cage's worst.
Chris Bumbray - JoBlo's Movie Emporium
Is "Felson" not a moniker more appropriate to a sitcom second banana than a fierce warrior?
Kurt Loder - Reason Online
This isn't a documentary about Christine O'Donnell's recent Senate campaign in Delaware. That would be a lot more entertaining...It may remind you of the movies of Uwe Boll.
Frank Swietek - One Guy's Opinion
Good production values almost rescue this overwrought medieval tale.
Maitland McDonagh - Film Journal International
A middle-of-the-road bore, with only occasional flashes of the fun that could have been had the whole way through.
Luke Y. Thompson - E! Online
Really, at its worst, the whole thing's a little bit like "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" - minus the jokes.
Stephen Whitty - Newark Star-Ledger
The scariest thing about Season of the Witch is the movie itself, an abomination of bad filmmaking and terrible acting.
Daniel Hubschman - Hollywood.com
It is a hopeless mish-mash that feels like they were making it up as they went along. It's also dull.
Nell Minow - Beliefnet
Unchallenged and over-wigged, Cage is merely biding his time with this serving of horror hooey, obviously more interested in hearing the sweet sound of "cut!" than trying to make a tepid screenplay shuffle.
Brian Orndorf - BrianOrndorf.com
P.T. Barnum and H.L. Mencken remain inarguably correct in their assessment of the public's gullibility and appetite.
Marshall Fine - Hollywood & Fine
Worst. D&D session. Ever.
Rob Vaux - Mania.com
It's The Seventh Seal meets Get Him to the Greek meets Lord of the Rings as if filtered through Uwe Boll's hack-tastic brain.
Jen Yamato - Movies.com
Even an actor like Nicolas Cage cannot elevate such a disappointingly anachronistic and incoherent religious epos.
Emanuel Levy - EmanuelLevy.Com
You'll want to spend lots of time checking out those costumes, because, Perlman and Lee aside, there's not much to watch in the acting department.
Stephanie Zacharek - Movieline
The first reveal of Nicolas Cage sporting a blond wig with ringlets that makes him look like a Shirley Temple drag queen impersonator after a post-medieval-party-themed blackout is the sort of fright probably not intended by its makers.
Season of the Witch isn't quite Jonah Hex or Little Fockers bad, but it's one helluva shoddy way to start off the year in movies and yet another crummy entry in Nicolas Cage's woeful post-Oscar filmography.
Jim Vejvoda - IGN Movies
While 'Witch' might not be the worst thing I see this year, it's apparently been riddled with its own case of the Black Plague since day one. Every inch of the movie is infected with bad decisions that spread throughout each and every frame.
Brad Miska - Bloody Disgusting
A mediocre knights-and-witchcraft B-movie that's somewhat cheesy, somewhat intriguing, and ultimately just not all that involving.
Tim Grierson - Screen International
The stench of plague is all around, unless that's an aroma emanating from the script.
Tim Robey - Daily Telegraph
It's entertaining in a cheerfully ridiculous way, though Cage fans will be disappointed that he does not really lose his rag, despite some serious provocation from the Lord of Darkness.
It's part fairy tale-gone-wrong, part recycled legend, part panto horror. Think The Wolfman, or Van Helsing, only worse.
Adam Woodward - Little White Lies
Think of it as a modern Iranian adultery trial as imagined in 14th Century Europe by a terminally silly dreamer.
Harvey S. Karten - Compuserve
Not nearly funny or weird enough to see with friends after a few drinks, and despite impressive locations doesn't have enough visual appeal to simply watch on mute.
Katey Rich - CinemaBlend.com
Cage plods through the story with a stiffly restrained, exaggeratedly earnest performance that makes him look like the most awkward amateur in the local Society For Creative Anachronism troupe.
Tasha Robinson - AV Club
There are almost no laughs to be had in Season of the Witch. That's unfortunate, because the only chance that this overproduced yet still shoddy piece of early-January multiplex fodder had of being entertaining was as an unintentional comedy classic.
Adam Nayman - eye WEEKLY
Season of the Witch begins in a Crusade taking place after the Crusades, in a 14th Century for Dummies about as immersive and real as the Ohio State Renaissance Festival.
Nick Pinkerton - L.A. Weekly
It's The Crucible, except with real magic creatures, copious Cage bon mots, and the incomparably ridiculous sight of Perlman head-butting Beelzebub.
Nick Schager - Slant Magazine
Does to the medieval era what Cage's Wicker Man did to Anthony Shaffer.
David Hughes - Empire Magazine
You've probably never heard of first time screenwriter Bragi F Schut. And, after wading through this 14th century swords-and-witches hokum you'll probably never want to see his name again.
Graham Young - Birmingham Post
Despite some terrific locations in Hungary and the Austrian Alps, this ho-hum 14th-century history lesson remains routine and unconvincing right up to its all-hell-breaks-loose CGI-heavy finale.
Alan Jones - Radio Times
Disappointing, sluggishly directed medieval thriller with poor special effects, a plot that manages to be both dull and nonsensical and not even a bonkers performance from Cage to liven things up.
Matthew Turner - ViewLondon
Not only bad in predictable ways, it's obscenely lazy.
Robert Levin - Film School Rejects
A cheerfully terrible January time-waster.
Eugene Novikov - Film Blather
This is how 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' would have turned out if it had been funny unintentionally instead of intentionally.
Eric D. Snider - Cinematical
Great song. Bad movie.
Willie Waffle - WaffleMovies.com
Stop me if you've heard this one. A priest, an altar boy, two Crusaders, and a con artist walk toward an abbey with a suspected witch in tow.
Mark Dujsik - Mark Reviews Movies
It's creaky, predictable and frequently idiotic. But for a tipsy Saturday night, this should tick all the right boxes.
Tom Huddleston - Time Out
It's not quite nutty enough to be a guilty pleasure.
Rich Cline - Shadows on the Wall