A ho-hum series of kills and lulls so predictable that it doesn't even look like much fun for the sharks; when they open wide, they might as well be yawning.
Adam Markovitz - Entertainment Weekly
The result is a movie that isn't crummy, exactly, just blah: when the freakiest teeth on screen belong not to one of Walt Conti's animatronically realized sharks but to a good-ol'-boy called Red, you know you have a problem.
Jeannette Catsoulis - New York Times
A second round is out of the question. Unless, of course, they called it "Gladys Knight 3D.'' Then all is forgiven.
Wesley Morris - Boston Globe
Shark Night, handled with impersonality by Snakes on a Plane pilot David R. Ellis, aspires to nothing more or less than carrying along an audience through a string of unremarkable kills, often involving high-jumping fish.
Nick Pinkerton - Village Voice
The one crime a B-movie should never commit is boring its audience. By even these low standards, "Shark Night 3D" is dead in the water.
Elizabeth Weitzman - New York Daily News
Director David R. Ellis has delivered a heartless, suspense-free 100 minutes of sharks dining out on kids stuck on an island in a Louisiana lake.
Roger Moore - Orlando Sentinel
The sharks are rubber and the performances are wooden and that's just about all you need to know.
Linda Barnard - Toronto Star
Sharks have it bad enough as endangered, misunderstood predators with a terrible public relations image without seeing their serial-killing stardom drowned out by hammy acting and torture-porn villainy.
Robert Abele - Los Angeles Times
When I wasn't laughing at the scenes of sharks leaping out of the water to attack their prey (in trees! on jetskis!) I was questioning the happy coincidence of a runaway motorboat heading directly towards a pier littered with flammable gas tanks.
Glenn Dunks - Trespass
An atrocious waste of time, this "Night" is one you'll quickly forget.
John Hanlon - Big Hollywood
Predictable. Disposable. Listless. Boring. This is not how you make great horror films.
Wesley Lovell - Cinema Sight
The most disturbing sequence comes after the end credits, actually, when the actors are shown performing together on a really bad rap video.
Steve Newton - Georgia Straight
This clearly isn't a film that wants to win awards for logic, so it dives head first in to just pure idiocy, and never comes back up for air.
Felix Vasquez Jr. - Cinema Crazed
Never mind that the film is never scary; it also is never much *fun*.
Michael Dequina - TheMovieReport.com
- Austin Chronicle
Awful on nearly every level, but wholly entertaining as a laugh-out-loud party movie. Shark Night is dumb, but you probably won't care.
R. L. Shaffer - IGN DVD
This film falls apart in the deliberately bad character development which never quite registers as a joke but rather as a weak attempt at actually developing the characters.
Kevin Carr - 7M Pictures
The end result is a horror effort that never becomes the guilty pleasure it clearly wants to be...
David Nusair - Reel Film Reviews
full review at Movies for the Masses
Joseph Proimakis - Movies for the Masses
This is a pretty bad movie that (I think) knows it's a pretty bad movie. What keeps it from being even worse and entering into the useless 'torture porn' genre is its PG-13 rating, which teeters on the brink of 'R' territory throughout.
Linda Cook - KWQC-TV (Iowa)
A.A. Dowd - Time Out
A bad taste frenzy, with cameras tied to the bellies of some beasts contained by crooks in a salt water lake.
Graham Young - Birmingham Post
Enjoyably trashy Jaws/Piranha rip-off, enlivened by likeable performances and some impressive 3D effects, but the plot is laugh-out-loud ridiculous and there's an oddly prudish approach to gore and nudity.
Matthew Turner - ViewLondon
Little more than a brain damaged, irony-free, and curiously toothless attempt to retread the success of last year's surprising summer gorefest, Piranha 3D.
Shaun Munro - What Culture
[Leaves] you with nothing more than a few poke-y moments and wistful memories of Piranha 3D.
Ken McIntyre - Total Film
... a new movie genre: sharxploitation ...
Jim Lane - Sacramento News & Review
Disappointing, but diverting; I was expecting the man-eating hammerhead, but not the lecture on 'moral relativism' from the local sheriff.
John Beifuss - Commercial Appeal (Memphis, TN)
Most lacking is any sense of humor or style in a film that aspires to mediocrity and achieves it all too easily.
Cole Smithey - ColeSmithey.com
Shark Night is also not Jaws redux. It is more like a shark bite version of Friday the 13th.
Bruce Kirkland - Jam! Movies
Not content to restrict itself to an exercise in "When Nature Attacks," the filmmakers take a hard, ugly turn into torture-porn territory.
Kimberley Jones - Austin Chronicle
Of the 350 different species of shark, 46 of them are swimming freely through this Louisiana lake, which I suppose makes sense, since it's made up of salt water. Uh-huh.
Brett Michel - Boston Herald
Unfortunately, you can't even appreciate the movie for jaw-droppingly bad performances. It's just a whole bunch of people who deserved better.
Grae Drake - Movies.com
By way of comparison, Soul Surfer devoted at least a dozen minutes of screen time to people reading the Bible and that was a more exciting shark attack movie than this.
Dave White - Movies.com
How could this movie be so unconscionably bad - so inept in every way - that it actually makes "Jaws: The Revenge" redeemable?
Joe Lozito - Big Picture Big Sound
A hatefully paint-by-numbers story of pretty young people on vacation flirting, bickering, and dying, with far too little of the third and far too much of the first.
Tim Brayton - Antagony & Ecstasy
How did a fleet of ferocious finned carnivores wind up in a lake, even one that's salt water?
Tom Meek - Boston Phoenix
An okay cast presents a plot with a few twists but the gruesome ones, especially for a PG-13 rated movie, are totally sadistic
Jackie K. Cooper - jackiekcooper.com
the film's rote nature and its complete lack of the kind of self-aware trashy thrills and humor we might expect from a good Renny Harlin flick (or even Ellis's immortal Snakes on a Plane) drain it of energy and fun.
James Kendrick - Q Network Film Desk
Many movies about killer aquatic creatures on the loose have succeeded due to a lightweight, carefree mood or an ironic tone; Shark Night has none of this.
Jeffrey M. Anderson - Common Sense Media
How delicious would it be if we were to look back and find that the current lousy 3D trend "jumped the shark" with a film that actually features jumping sharks?
Brian Juergens - CampBlood.org
Look, here's the short of it: This is pretty dumb movie. Ok it's a very dumb movie.
Chris Gallo - Dark Horizons
...the 3D is almost non-existent. Apparently Hollywood thought they would ass-rape the movie going public one more time before the summer ended and charge an extra three dollars! My advice is to take that money and go rent "Jaws."
Michael A. Smith - MediaMikes
Confronted with a film this bad, you take your laughs when you can find them ... That classic SNL skit featuring a door-to-door land shark comes to mind.
Glenn Lovell - CinemaDope
Brian Salisbury - Film School Rejects
As shark-related thrillers questionably shot in 3D go, this is better than "Jaws 3D." That said, it isn't that much better.
Peter Sobczynski - eFilmCritic.com
Snakes On A Plane at least displayed a commitment to its magnificent ridiculousness. By comparison, Shark Night 3D just gives dumb movies a bad name.
Tim Grierson - Screen International
A thoroughly shabby attempt to piggyback on the success of last year's Piranha 3D.
Nick Schager - Boxoffice Magazine
Ya see, Shark Night 3D is less a horror film-the suspense barely comes from the sharks-and more a made-for-TV drama about Sara's old friends terrorizing her new ones.
Peter Paras - E! Online
Lower any expectations you may have had, expect a flurry of terrible acting and chalky exposition, and 'Shark Night 3D' will deliver on a very minimal basis; it's dumb fun on the lowest common denominator.
Brad Miska - Bloody Disgusting
Call it junk if you like, but at least Shark Night is junk that delivers on its promises. Well, most of them, anyway.
Scott Weinberg - FEARnet
This limp teens-in-peril fright flick doesn't even deserve to swim in the same bloody waters as Piranha 3D; frankly, there were more genuine jolts in Judy Moody and the NOT Bummer Summer.
You know how bad you're probably thinking this movie will be? It's actually worse.
Scott Nash - Three Movie Buffs
such a disappointment
Bill Gibron - Filmcritic.com
It doesn't even live up to the minimal promises of the title: There isn't enough shark action, it mostly takes place during the day, and the 3-D only asserts itself in a couple of shots.
Tasha Robinson - AV Club
Delivers a tasty blend of the predictable and unexpected.
Although the acting and technical elements...are better than what you usually encounter in a Saturday night SyFy Network flick, that's still where it really belongs.
Frank Swietek - One Guy's Opinion
a full-fledged, bottom-of-the-ninth strikeout, a trashy, stupid, joyless, and overlong thriller
Todd Gilchrist - The Playlist
There's nothing to fear in these waters.
Thomas Leupp - Hollywood.com
If I felt guilty I'd call this a guilty pleasure but since I don't I'll just call it trash I enjoy. So if you decide to go don't complain to me that the film was crap. I warned you.
Beth Accomando - KPBS.org
Eat them already, I'm bored.
Joshua Tyler - CinemaBlend.com
What's actually here is depressingly unimaginative, artificial (the shark CGI is iffy at best), and occasionally distasteful. Trust me, it's one long night.
Brian Orndorf - BrianOrndorf.com
Shark Night 3D sets itself apart from Ellis's other films in its sincere attempt to humanize its heedless pretty young things.
Simon Abrams - Slant Magazine
I would say anyone who buys a ticket for a film called 'Shark Night 3D' will get exactly what they pay for, and these days, that can feel like a bit of a miracle.
Drew McWeeny - HitFix
The acting? Eh. The plot? Eh. The sharks eating people in 3D? Oh, yeah!
Mike McGranaghan - Aisle Seat
Shark Night is painless, dumb fun, without the smirking self-awareness that made Ellis's 2006 Snakes on a Plane so much better to giggle over than to actually sit through.
Alison Willmore - Movieline