Street Fighter: Legend of Chun-Li Review
“A Life Sucking Piece Of Crap”
September 28th, 2012
There have been tons of bad video game films over the years. The bad Tomb Raider films to the even worse Hitman and BloodRayne, and perhaps the worst of the all in Double Dragon and Super Mario Brothers, but Street Fighter: The Legend of Chung- Li could be the worst of them all. When it came out in theaters I skipped it knowing it would be terrible. When it came out on video I didn't rent it. I didn't even think it was worth the few bucks it would cost to rent the film, so here I am writing a review of the film. I ended up watching it on a questionably legal streaming site. I had time and was bored so I decided to watch it since it was free to me and even with it being free I wish I could sue Capcom and the other film companies who made this piece of absolute garbage for mental stress and wasting my time.
Now on to the c*ckamamie plot the film has. The story follows Chung Li (Kristin Kreuk) who as a child lives with her family till Balrog (Michael Duncan Clark) and M. Bison (Neal McDonough) attack and take away her father. I know just visualizing those two makes me laugh, but I'll get to the casting in a second. Anyway back to the really bad script. Years later Chung Li is a musician living a normal life till she receives a scroll during a performance that changes her life. The scroll sends her to Bangkok to find a man named Gen. Gen informs her that her father was a live, and proceeds to teach her a years worth of martial arts in a few days so she can be ready to fight Bison. Meanwhile Bison has taken over Shadaloo. The plot gets even more ridiculous and funny when they go into Bison's back story about how he became pure evil killing his pregnant wife and then decided to transfer I guess his soul into his premature daughter. You'd think a person willing to kill his own wife and possible his daughter just because he wanted to become pure evil was already pure evil or at least that's what I thought. Now if this story wasn't already a big pile of sh*t the obviously room full monkey writers decided to add another terrible side plot in Interpol agent Charlie Nash (Chris Kline) and Bangkok detective Maya Sunee (Moon Bloodgood). These two added into the mix are investigating the death of local crime bosses who Bison killed. The worst part of the story is the way it ends as if the writers actually thought this film might garner some kind of sequel.
I want to be hard on the cast of this film, but I think I have to put more blame on the studio, director and writers for this garbage. Still I do have to blame the capable actors for signing up for this film. I like Kristin Kreuk. I loved her on Smallville and she is a beautiful and capable actress, but she just plain sucked as Chung-Li. I can only fault the crappy dialog for so long till I have to look at her acting in the film, which was average at best. Let's move on to Neal McDonough. His performance as Bison is just plain laughable. I never like the actor and in this film he confirms that point with his terrible acting job. I know the writers gave him nothing to work with, but even with that said his performance sucked. Michael Duncan Clarke well he just looked like he was having a good time. I think the deceased actor new what kind of film he was in and just had fun with the role not taking it seriously. I think the man just enjoyed life and brought it to every role he played no matter what kind of film he was in. Now on to Chris Kline who I haven't seen in many films, but he obviously can't act with his laughable dialog and his hobo look. I swear he looks like a bum I'd find on the streets of Portland. As for Moon Bloodgood she did a decent job, but she was wasted in role and storyline.
The action/Martial arts scenes are just terrible. You can tell none of the main stars had any previous experience. You'd think if studios were going to make a movie based off the street fighter games that's actually get some actors who were had little knowledge and could knew how to make the fight scenes believable. I don't think Capcom could find a respectable director to direct this...this...well you know what I've repeated a few times before. Any way I'm sure every respectable director ran away, and the only one willing to take this film on was cinematographer Andrzej Bartkowiak. Andrzej had mainly done cinematography for films, but what really surprised me was that he directed Romeo Must Die, Exit Wounds, Cradle to the Grave and Doom, so this guy has experience directing martial arts films working with the legendary Jet Li twice. You'd think he would have learned something from those films, but he must not have. I really don't know what Capcom was thinking by making this film. Didn't they see with Tomb Raider, Resident Evil, Mortal Kombat and all the other video game films that it doesn't work if you half ass it. They should know that the only good video game films are anime ones or anime series based off of them. Hollywood and movie studios just don't take them seriously. I think the only way a video game film will truly go main stream is if it gets a major studio, respectable director and actors along with good writers. If that doesn't happen I don't see any video game ever truly breaking out here in the United States.
Overall Street Fighter: The Legend of Chung-Li is one of the worst video game films I've seen, and one of the worst films I've ever seen. It has some of the worst writing and dialog you will ever see in a film and badly miscast with average to downright terrible acting, and ever worse action/martial Arts. I'm sure most of you know how bad this film is, but avoid it at all cost. If you see it on television change the channel. If you see it on your computer unplug your computer and run an anti-virus program to wipe all traces of it from your computer. If not just like in the Ring it will come out and take your soul and drain years off your life.
I'll have my review of Looper up sometime in the mid afternoon. I can't wait to see a good film after seeing this piece of sh*t.