The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor Review
“DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME AND MONEY ON THIS ONE!!!”
August 1st, 2008
Before I begin, I want to go on record as saying I enjoyed the first two Mummy movies. I AM a fan of this franchise. So as I begin to tear this movie apart, please remember that I am doing it with a dagger in my heart. I really hate the fact that I hated this movie. So... let the ripping begin....
I walked into the theater knowing that this was not going to be a movie with a great story or great acting (ala The Dark Knight). I simply expected this movie to be a fun movie. A movie that would just simply entertain me... just like the first two Mummy movies did. Was that so much to ask? I wanted this movie to at least be a fun and mindless summer popcorn movie, but it does not even accomplish that.
The movie begins with a prologue explaining how the Mummy became... well... a mummy. This is how the first two began. Only this time, the prologue took a whole lot longer then its predecessors. While Mummy 1 and 2 took about 4 minutes to explain (at least it seemed that short and to the point), the prologue to Mummy 3 lasted a good 12 to 15 minutes. Huh? I was thinking... GET TO THE POINT.
That is just one of the many flaws this movie had... a long beginning. Another would be the acting. Brendan Fraser seemed like he simply did not want to be there. He seemed very restrained as if the studio begged him to reprise his role. One of the worst things an actor can do to one of his characters is reprise it for money. You need to love the character and Fraser looks as though he stepped back into Rick O'Connell's shoes for the cash boys.
Then there's poor Maria Bello (Eve). She had some big shoes to fill replacing Rachel Weisz... and it was obvious her feet were way to small. The whole time I watched Maria on screen, I sensed she was trying too hard to be Rachel Weisz... not Eve O'Connell. Her English accent was forced, her smiles seemed fake, and she just didn't have the chemistry with Brendan Fraser that Rachel had. She's gonna get ripped by critics. Just watch and see.
Then there is Luke Ford (the now 21 year old Alex O'Connell, son of Eve and Rick). While Brendan and Maria tried so desperately to talk, walk, and look older, Luke was trying to talk, walk, and look younger. Neither worked. Luke was in no way believable as Eve and Rick's son. I know now why Rachel Weisz refused to be in this movie by saying she was too young to play the mother of a 21 year old. She was right. Bad casting... period.
John Hannah returns as Eve's brother Jonathan. Where he provided comic relief in the first two movies, he seemed to me more of a whiner in this one. Always complaining about the O'Connells being Mummy magnets. His lines were not funny at all.
Then we had new characters in the movie with Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh. These two really didn't have much to work with. Li played the Mummy and Yeoh played the Witch who had been wanting revenge on the Mummy for killing the love of her life. Pleeeease... its been 2000 years.... MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE ALREADY. GEEZ. 2000 years is long time to hold a grudge.
Where the first one was a little fantastic, it was still a little down to earth. A group of archeologists dig up a mummy and then have to send it back to the other world ON THEIR OWN. The second one got a little more fantastic and a little less believable with an Army of the Scorpion King.... but at least, once again, it was an army of HUMANS who had to fight them. This one just got way out of hand and ridiculous. This time an Army of the Mummy had to fight an Army of the Undead. That's right, skeletons hahaha. Do you believe that? How do undead skeletons kill undead soldiers and vice versa? Absolutely ludicrous.
Actually, do you want to hear something REALLY ludicrous? *SPOILER ALERT*... Three Yetis show up. In case you don't know what a Yeti is... its the Abominable Snowman. And yes, there are three. Not only that, one of the charcters actually can communicate with them and ask them for help... AND THEY DO! And would you believe they watch FOOTBALL??? That's right. You heard me right, football. One of the Yetis kicks a bad guy between two poles and a second Yeti picks up his two arms straight up in the air as to say: FIELD GOAL... ITS GOOD! I rolled my eyes and began to constantly glance at the time from here on in... and that is NEVER a good thing.
The movie seemed rushed and not thought out. It felt as though the movie was being filmed and the script was not finished. As though they were writing the story as they went along. It was just plain bad.
This movie DOES NOT deserve to take the #1 spot away from the Dark Knight. And judging by the fact that Mummy 3 is a NEW movie and there are quite a few fans of the franchise eagerly waiting to see it, its gonna be a close fight for that top spot. Both the Dark Knight and Mummy 3 will probably earn about 40 to 45 million so its a dog fight.
Don't see this movie. It's bad. And I say this with a broken heart because I really wanted to like it. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME AND MONEY ON THIS ONE!!!