The Smurfs Review

“Katie Perry-why Do You Make Me Want To F*ck A Small Three Inch Sized Blue Smurf Seem So Appealing Thing To Do!”

September 8th, 2011

Critically and commercially this film is going to be successful as it has the gimmick of 3D also its the Smurfing Smurfs for Smurfs sake- a rehash of the Blue fellows we grew up to love- though instead of an rehash nada revived CGI'ed kiddie flick it seems to being mocking the species that sees blue men take names from their characteristics and have unknown television actors perform to their utter imperfectly worst.....except the very grandeur top notch performance from the GINGER CAT- oh and Hank Azaria making a fool out of himself again- though giving his character full thought- physically, vocally and mentally- making me cackle, squeak and balls out laughing as his interpretation of the evil wizard Malgazararaararar who tries to snatch the smurfs for his own gain to rule the world of Smurfs.

Helming this feature- helming, to put this right these films hold no cinematic leverage except it is chock a block full of product placement and luridly awful gags and is just full of awful indigenous gags like the smurfing swearwords that come out every smurfing second- this is not funny its attributed to the adults, it dies, the only ever thing in this film that is enjoyable is the very detailed visuals, and Hank Azaria making a fool out of himself running around through steam trying to give Malgazararara a self esteem and persona of an insecure utter nitwit- to Hanks purest of forms of acting- ad libbing is apparent, Malgarararar walking through steam giving himself that effectual grace of a sorcery of benevolent evil...and a sarky cat slap pawing its head every five minutes, and starring Leonard Nimoy- so i thought as Papa Smurf then was disappointed later after my trip to Wikipedia....also the thought of incestual Smurfs made me laugh throughout- until the lore of Smurfington was revealed- Smurfette is not actually a Smurf but a temptress created by Malgazararar!

The director was unique in a sense that the opening to Scooby-Doo it ma hard- then the sequels awesome 2004 long running shot title sequence then singing small bug eyed dogs just mad me want to cry- they are singing about their misconceived ugliness- how heart warming!

Nah- this director is just a nameplate to seal out pieces like this- presumably a previous visual effects supervising turned awesome kid friendly director with no ego just a lot of dosh!

This is just visual fun for kids to pretend to know what they are watching though is just silly creatures- though some of the Smurfs have heart and the voices give the little tumbling sods a depth- and Katie Perry- why- why do you make me wanting to f*ck a small three inches sized blue creature appealing- um- no actually its just the thought of you at the booth breathing heavily and- (review closed)


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