“Hard To Do A Reboot On A Classic”
“I Went To See Some Sword Fighting And This Movie Delivered”
“All For For One And One For All- Now Run For The Freaking Exit Goddammit*”
“If You're Going To See The Three Musketeers, Don't Expect To See Much Of The Actual 3 Musketeers.”
“Surprisingly Fun, Despite The Flaws.”
“Intriguing And Action Packed”
Keith Staskiewicz - Entertainment Weekly
Owen Gleiberman - Entertainment Weekly
In the worst possible case, this could go on and on, but please, let's hope it doesn't.
Stephen Holden - New York Times
Nothing looks as messy as an unbuckled swash, and sadly that's what we get here.
Peter Bradshaw - Guardian [UK]
Call it the Robert Downey Jr. Meets Sherlock Holmes Effect. A classic popular adventure gets overblown, juiced-up, and generally CGI-ified.
Mark Feeney - Boston Globe
Even the most liberal viewer is likely to echo Milady's thoughts of D'Artagnan: "You are very amiable, no doubt, but you would be charming if you would only depart."
Elizabeth Weitzman - New York Daily News
Seriously: What the hell?
Michael Phillips - Chicago Tribune
This one is overblown, over-dressed, and grandiosely dopey, packed with gargantuan sets and ludicrous action scenes and shot in unusually dark and dingy 3-D.
Michael Wilmington - Chicago Reader
A very 2011 take on Alexandre Dumas' classic that feels weirdly dated already.
Leslie Felperin - Variety
This is a once-in-a-lifetime fiasco, an epic fail like none we have seen this year, a bad idea by a very bad director and a career-crippling credit for all concerned.
Roger Moore - Orlando Sentinel
The very existence of this film illustrates barrel-scraping desperation of the Hollywood kind.
Peter Howell - Toronto Star
Every time you think it can't get any stupider, it gets right up in your face, calls you "bro," and gets stupider.
Eric D. Snider - Film.com
All the borderline pantomime acting and wigged buffoonery is deliberate and silly, but The Three Musketeers remains charmless, a romp brought down by its lead-footed script.
Liam Lacey - Globe and Mail
3D swashbuckler wields a disappointingly blunt sword.
Neil Young - Hollywood Reporter
A befouling of Dumas.
Roger Moore - McClatchy-Tribune News Service
The film may have its fun moments but this adaptation does nothing more than make these Three Musketeers look like a bunch of Stooges.
Kristal Cooper - We Got This Covered
While you're busy looking at the special effects, you'll begin to notice that there's not really anything in the way of substance like a well-thought-out plot and characters that you care about.
Jeff Beck - Examiner.com
It's fun for a Saturday afternoon viewing, but it will ultimately go down in the annals of movie history as yet another forgettable adaptation.
Kevin Carr - 7M Pictures
Never has failure looked this good!
Jules Brenner - Cinema Signals
If you want over-the-top entertainment that doesn't respect the laws of physics, you can't do much better than this.
Ignatiy Vishnevetsky - Ebert Presents At The Movies
You might mistake the sound of swashbuckling for what it really is: Alexandre Dumas spinning in his grave. Much closer to 'Pirates of the Caribbean' lite than it is to 'The Three Musketeers,' this makes a mess of the classic Dumas tale.
Linda Cook - KWQC-TV (Iowa)
- St. Louis Post-Dispatch
Ugh. Nothing makes sense, it's not funny and the 3D is worthless.
Jeff Bayer - The Scorecard Review
Anderson has crafted a beautiful and rambunctious film that is in many ways a lot more fun than the last few Disney "Pirates of the Caribbean" films.
Bruce Bennett - Spectrum (St. George, Utah)
The actors should have remained dry-docked instead of shipping out on this big, bloated Three Muske-mess.
Neil Pond - American Profile
- Screen International
A frequent choice for transposing fiction into film, The Three Musketeers returns as an action-filled, slight diversion.
John Wirt - Advocate (Baton Rouge, LA)
So dumb and goofy and ridiculous that it's actually kind of hard not to like on those terms.
Ken Hanke - Mountain Xpress (Asheville, NC)
- Dark Horizons
- Austin Chronicle
So hammy and campy that Alexander Dumas would scarcely recognize this latest incarnation of his swashbuckling tale.
Susan Granger - SSG Syndicate
Have we retained nothing of the lessons of Hudson Hawk? Like that early Nineties comical disaster, The Three Musketeers hinges on the secret machinations of Leonardo da Vinci.
Kimberley Jones - Austin Chronicle
Gaudy and vulgar ...
Jim Lane - Sacramento News & Review
Alexander Dumas isn't merely turning in his grave, he's half way through re-enacting 'Thriller'.
Anders Wotzke - Cut Print Review
Alexandre Dumas isn't merely turning in his grave, he's half way through re-enacting 'Thriller'.
Anders Wotzke - Moviedex
Logan Lerman's adolescent D'Artagnan has a haircut that makes him look like Ally Sheedy, Christoph Waltz imitates a lisping John Malkovich as Cardinal Richelieu, and Milla Jovovitch turns Milady de Winter into an insipid ninja.
Peter Keough - Boston Phoenix
The same old story but with some new twists, a substantial cast, and some energetic special effects.
Jackie K. Cooper - jackiekcooper.com
Swashbuckler for tweens has tons of action but no heart.
Sandie Angulo Chen - Common Sense Media
By the time we see sword fights onboard airships, the movie finally realizes what it needs to be -- goofy, silly fun. Too bad that comes after 90 minutes of failed opportunities.
Josh Hurst - Christianity Today
Paranormal Activity 3 delivers, and does it without gore or "look at me!" special effects.
Maitland McDonagh - Film Journal International
The movie suffers from the malady that all remakes have - if you change it too much it becomes unrecognizable and you upset people like me who want the same thing only modernized, if you keep it the same it becomes unoriginal and a pointless exercise.
Michelle Alexandria - Eclipse Magazine
Doomed to be referenced as an example of everything wrong with 21st cinema, "The Three Musketeers" is like a banana split prepared with in a blender. It looks like vomit, and leaves a knot in your stomach.
Cole Smithey - ColeSmithey.com
Doesn't bode well for poor Alexandre Dumas who continues rolling in his grave.
Felix Vasquez Jr. - Cinema Crazed
Director Paul W.S. Anderson has injected a great sense of fun in this visually sumptuous adventure
Louise Keller - Urban Cinefile
Anderson... permeates this updating of the classic Dumas novel with an infectious sense of joy. Unfortunately, it's still dumber than a bag of hammers.
Rob Vaux - Mania.com
Stiff, baby-faced Lerman could be the Mouseketeer in the Iron Mask ... In spots this blend of Dumas and "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" sparks to life as the perfect Saturday matinee for 12-year-olds.
Glenn Lovell - CinemaDope
A splashy but silly and bombastic (as well as curiously dull) farrago more reminiscent of 'Pirates of the Caribbean' than Dumas.
Frank Swietek - One Guy's Opinion
They don't make period romps like they used to, but The Three Musketeers comes close; all it needs is a bit more sex
Andrew L. Urban - Urban Cinefile
Break out those No. 2 pencils, cuz it's time for a pop quiz. Which line of dialogue is NOT spoken in the latest screen adaptation of The Three Musketeers?
Matt Brunson - Creative Loafing
It's an odd film in a beguiling, sometimes bewildering assortment of modes.
Richard T. Jameson - Parallax View
I would never call this version a classic, but I was fairly entertained by it. Should a sequel be made, as the ending so clearly anticipates, I would happily go to see it.
Scott Nash - Three Movie Buffs
I wanted big and ludicrous and silly, with swords and airships. That's pretty much what I got.
Widgett Walls - Needcoffee.com
Director Paul W.S. Anderson orchestrates his Musketeers with the rhyme and reason of a confetti popper.
Matt Patches - Hollywood.com
A stupid movie (in 3-D!) that owns its baser instincts, doesn't try to be anything else and reminds us that there are still some modest pleasures to be had from it.
Radheyan Simonpillai - NOW Toronto
It's all for nothing, nothing much for all.
Luke Y. Thompson - E! Online
Most of the time, The Three Musketeers is merely what kids tasked to read the book by their most-hated teacher would assume it would be - boring. I never thought I'd say it but I wish Anderson had just made another Resident Evil movie.
Brian Tallerico - HollywoodChicago.com
A moment's patience is soon rewarded by Anderson's vast store of rich, intoxicating imagery.
Jaime N. Christley - Slant Magazine
Completely impossible to understand, a dumb movie that makes you feel dumb.
Katey Rich - CinemaBlend.com
Jovovich tries hard to be terribly, terribly wicked, but her performance finds a hitherto unknown middle ground between Divine in Pink Flamingos and Halle Berry in Catwoman that's just embarrassing.
Alonso Duralde - The Wrap
It's as though the screenplay was brainstormed by Alexandre Dumas and Jules Verne...pure multiplex mulch, as disposable as it is entertaining.
Jim Schembri - The Age (Australia)
An editorial mess, an atonal wreck, and a huge waste of cash from inception to release.
Scott Weinberg - Twitch
No doubt about it...it's trash! But I'd be lying if I didn't admit I had fun with this one. (Movie Review for Parents also available)
Teddy Durgin - Screen It!
Unfortunately, it's Logan Lerman's D'Artagnan and Milla Jovovich's Milady de Winter who get the largest portions of screen time, and both are like nails on a chalkboard.
Alison Willmore - Movieline
This version of the Musketeers story can't decide if it wants to be an old-fashioned tale of swashbuckling adventure and palace intrigue or a cheeky, effects-heavy rethink of some iconic characters a la the Guy Ritchie-directed Sherlock Holmes.
Keith Phipps - AV Club
What, you expected something different from the man behind the Resident Evil series?
Jim Slotek - Jam! Movies
Special effects and 3-D fail to add anything new to this radical, and unsuccessful shake-up of the classic story.
Jenny Casablancas - FILMINK (Australia)
Musketeers isn't the worst picture Anderson has made in the last decade, but it's depressingly representative of his work -- he's always eager to dazzle, but clueless on how to engage.
Brian Orndorf - BrianOrndorf.com
Check your sense of reality at the door and enjoy the lavish costumes, nonstop action and well-rendered sets.
Dom Phillips - MovieFIX
This is a wretched and dull film, with substandard special effects.
- The Age (Australia)
Though all the right names, places and times are present and correct according to the ancient blueprint dictated by author Alexandre Dumas, the simple swashbuckling vibe of the original tale is rarely captured.
Leigh Paatsch - Herald Sun (Australia)
Think the attitude of Pirates of the Caribbean franchise combined with the energy of Anderson's Resident Evil series -- with careless comedy and pantomime pageantry thrown in.
Sarah Ward - Trespass
a decent re-imagining
Bill Gibron - Filmcritic.com
Should be called "THE THREE MUSKETEERS FOR MORONS"
Chris Bumbray - JoBlo's Movie Emporium
For the latest update of Alexandre Dumas's novel, Paul W.S. Anderson has added flying battleships and elaborate diamond heists.
Ben Kenigsberg - Time Out New York
Only Christoph Waltz's Cardinal Richelieu has any style.
Philip French - Observer [UK]
Fans of Pirates and Gulliver's Travels may be tempted by this giddy adaptation, but those who hold the tales of the Musketeers dearly to heart may feel a little wanting.
Lisa Giles-Keddie - Real.com
Louis Black - Austin Chronicle
It wouldn't be the end of the world if these sword-fighting ciphers returned. It would just feel like it.
Ed Whitfield - The Ooh Tray
- Empire Magazine
A dead cert for a slot in the Top Ten Worst of 2011.
Anthony Quinn - Independent
A jolly romp, plying comedy, action and romance with a healthy dose of skullduggery and heaving bosoms.
- Liverpool Echo
Clearly this is trying to grab a slice of the Pirates Of The Caribbean pie and, while not as polished as Stranger Tides, this is more fun.
Alex Zane - Sun Online
Paul WS Anderson turns his attention to the swashbuckling costume adventure genre to see if his trademark brand of visually flashy, empty-headed filmmaking will still pull in the punters when stripped of CGI monsters.
Jason Best - Movie Talk
It's 100 years since cinema began the first of scores of adaptations of Alexandre Dumas' 1844 story. But none can have been as barking mad as this one.
Graham Young - Birmingham Mail
A pretty straightforward attempt to pick up any slack left by the tiring Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. That's to say, it's preposterous panto for the kiddies.
David Sexton - This is London
[L]eaden where it should be light... It is graceless and charmless. It reels from the painful banter. It is the epitome of empty soulless corporate filmmaking.
MaryAnn Johanson - Flick Filosopher
Too many characters, too many plotlines, too little wit. Anderson throws everything at the wall, but ultimately none of it sticks.
Emma Dibdin - Little White Lies
Anderson's previous offences against cinema include films such as Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil and Death Race. In view of the classic source material that this vandalises, The Three Musketeers is his most regrettable atrocity yet.
Christopher Tookey - Daily Mail [UK]
To be consistent with his previous efforts, Anderson deploys a relentless stream of fight sequences that revert to nauseating and outmoded slow-mo during moments of supposedly heightened tension.
Ben Rawson-Jones - Digital Spy
It's the Heath Robinson approach: shove enough stuff in there and enough people will find something attractive.
Antonia Quirke - Financial Times
Clipping along with a snappy script that isn't afraid to be silly, this rip-snorting swathe of derring-do is thoroughly enjoyable.
Karen Krizanovich - Radio Times
It's a lot more fun than the most recent hatchet-faced entry in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, but it's also exasperatingly slapdash.
Robbie Collin - Daily Telegraph
Mark Adams - Screen International
Pointless and frequently stupid remake of Dumas' classic adventure story that's just no fun at all...
Matthew Turner - ViewLondon
Young buck Lerman never convinces; you feel that a sharp clip round the ear would put him in his place. And his romance with lady-in-waiting Gabriella Wild has all the fizz of damp gunpowder.
Tim Evans - Sky Movies
One for all and all for nowt.
Nigel Floyd - Time Out
What it lacks in abundance, alas, is elan, panache or joie de vivre.
Neil Smith - Total Film
Stupid, with three o's. But also fun, never boring, and never insulting (to anyone other than Dumas) - unlike certain of the summer's A-pics...
Dan Jolin - Empire Magazine
Anderson's take on Alexandre Dumas' swashbuckling characters winds up being as much fun as putting your privates in a guillotine.
David Edwards - Daily Mirror [UK]
It has more to do with trying to remake Pirates Of The Caribbean in France than with filming Dumas' novel.
Donald Munro - Eye for Film
Lively and bawdy retelling of the classic.
Charles Cassady - Common Sense Media