This celluloid abortion should be buried in a vault and shown to film students as an example of big Hollywood at its worst.
Julian Roman - MovieWeb
Revenge of the Fallen may be a massive overdose of popcorn greased with motor oil. But it knows how to feed your inner 10-year-old's appetite for destruction.
Owen Gleiberman - Entertainment Weekly
In Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, the director's subject is as blatant and consistent as his cluttered mise-en-scene.
Manohla Dargis - New York Times
At once loud and boring, like watching paint dry while getting hit over the head with a frying pan. And at two and a half hours, it really is very long.
Peter Bradshaw - Guardian [UK]
Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen is proof positive that not every summer action blockbuster has the mettle to be a franchise.
Claudia Puig - USA Today
What's wrong here is that there's so much swirling, relentless action, indistinct robot characterizations and over-caffeinated techies loose on the special-effects machines that the movie, in mere seconds, achieves incoherence.
John Anderson - Washington Post
So what if he can't put a coherent series of shots together? Bay's going for pure sensation, and everyone knows dramatic continuity is for women and the weak.
Ty Burr - Boston Globe
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a bewildering, noisy, sloppy, cynical piece of work, a movie that sneers at the audience for 147 minutes and expects us to lap it up as entertainment -- and be grateful.
Robert Wilonsky - Village Voice
While LaBeouf proves, finally, to be a viable leading man, and Fox and her midriff earn the power-rock ballads that play every time they have a close-up, they ought to move aside sometimes.
Joe Neumaier - New York Daily News
Compared to this sequel, the first Transformers, which was released two years ago, ranks right up there with Kant's Critique of Pure Reason.
Joe Morgenstern - Wall Street Journal
A well-oiled, loudly revving summer action vehicle that does all that's required, and then some.
Amy Biancolli - Houston Chronicle
The action-chase-battle sequences of Transformers are cutting-edge and undeniably powerful.
Tom Maurstad - Dallas Morning News
The right notes are struck over and over for the target demo but there's not much for the rest of us. The special effects are no longer quite so special. A fact that doesn't stop Bay from committing more-is-less excesses.
Lisa Kennedy - Denver Post
The best thing about "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" is that it's perhaps the funniest movie of the year ... "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" is not as bad as "Transformers"; somehow, in the face of long odds, it is actually worse.
James Rocchi - MSN Movies
Much of the movie is computer-generated hash, weightless even with nonstop BOOMS and METAL GROANS and THUDS.
David Edelstein - New York Magazine
The movie rages on for a hundred and fifty minutes and then just stops, pausing for the next sequel.
David Denby - New Yorker
If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.
Roger Ebert - Chicago Sun-Times
The first, comparatively lucid Transformers was a headache, but I sort of enjoyed it....Revenge of the Fallen is more like listening to rocks in a clothes dryer for 2 1/2 hours.
Michael Phillips - Chicago Tribune
The special effects are better and the dialogue slightly more humorous than in the first movie, but the anti-Arab subtext is repugnant.
Andrea Gronvall - Chicago Reader
Transformers 2 is bigger, longer and louder than its predecessor. In this case, more is less.
Carrie Rickey - Philadelphia Inquirer
I've just spent 2 1/2 hours watching a movie and another hour thinking about what I saw and I have no earthly idea what Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is about.
Colin Covert - Minneapolis Star Tribune
A great grinding garbage disposal of a movie, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen isn't so much a narrative film as a cacophonous series of explosions intermittently interrupted by needless dialogue.
Tom Long - Detroit News
There are enormous battle sequences -- you can practically see the dollar signs -- but little effort at telling a story.
Bill Goodykoontz - Arizona Republic
Charles Gant - Variety
With machines that are impressively more lifelike, and characters that are more and more like machines, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen takes the franchise to a vastly superior level of artificial intelligence.
Jordan Mintzer - Variety
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen dazzles the eye, numbs the mind and may cause deafness in some cases.
Lou Lumenick - New York Post
Is it the worst movie of the summer? Possibly. Will everybody see it? Probably.
Roger Moore - Orlando Sentinel
The comedy is what keeps Transformers 2 from turning into one colossal pileup of the monster trucks.
Peter Howell - Toronto Star
It adds up exactly as you'd think if you've seen a moving picture before; the motivations are simple while the laughs pound you about the head and face.
Laremy Legel - Film.com
Because Bay bombards you with so much, it's easy to forget that he can be a gifted technician.
Liam Lacey - Globe and Mail
Bay seems to think that just showing us a bunch of brightly clashing metallic limbs (accompanied by lots of noise) is enough to make us faint in our seats with excitement.
Stephanie Zacharek - Salon.com
The simplest thing Bay could have done to clarify the stakes of the robot wars would be to visually distinguish the robots from one another in some way. Armbands? Shirts and skins? "Hello, My Name Is" stickers?
Dana Stevens - Slate
Call me old fashioned, but I like a little side story and character to go along with my order of big, loud special effects.
James Berardinelli - ReelViews
Fan boys will no doubt love it, but for the uninitiated it's loud, tedious and, at 147 minutes, way too long.
Ray Bennett - Hollywood Reporter
Everyone is overcaffeinated, everyone screams their lines, perhaps so they can hear each other over the explosions and the thunderous score.
Christy Lemire - Associated Press
Transformers: The Revenge of The Fallen is beyond bad, it carves out its own category of godawfulness.
Peter Travers - Rolling Stone
Though battles are Transformers' raison d'etre, before it's over, Revenge will collapse under the weight of far too many of them.
Betsy Sharkey - Los Angeles Times
Few elements of Fallen are completely odious unto themselves, but rolled together it becomes a wave of inescapable proportions.
Rob Humanick - House Next Door
Built from the ground up to be a popcorn-devouring, eye-popping, nostalgia-sparking crowd-pleaser.
Ali Gray - TheShiznit.co.uk
Scott A. Mantz - Scott Mantz' Movie Reviews
Nell Minow - Movie Mom at Yahoo! Movies
Ben Kenigsberg - Time Out
A minor improvement over its nigh abominable predecessor...
David Nusair - Reel Film Reviews
I had a pretty excellent time.
Dave White - Movies.com
Mark Kermode - BBC Radio Five Live
Bayformers 2 is a mess of a story loosely glued together with lame jokes, fighting pixels and Megan Fox's ass.
Mike Edwards - Obsessed With Film
Mike Edwards - What Culture
Revenge of the Fallen ... plays more like Pearl Harbor 2, from the heavy-handed seriousness to the clumsy racial stereotypes (a couple of 'ethnic' robots seem to have walked straight out of the Kirk Lazarus School of Racial Sensitivity).
Simon Miraudo - Quickflix
Jennie Kermode - Eye for Film
It's frustrating that if Transformers 2 took itself a little more seriously, it might just have blown audiences away the same way the original did.
Sam Bathe - Fan The Fire
Michael Bay knows how to spoil any film he touches, taking an extreme step down from the surprisingly fun original.
Wesley Lovell - Oscar Guy
Wesley Lovell - Cinema Sight
with Bay under pressure to squeeze as much content into two and half hours, it was inevitable that some elements of the formula wouldn't work
Dragan Antulov - Draxblog Movie Reviews
After the first ten minutes, I just...wanted...the...movie...to...end.
John J. Puccio - DVDTown.com
John J. Puccio - Movie Metropolis
This benighted cacophony is a painful blend of overproduced action and shameless exposition
Andrea Chase - Killer Movie Reviews
Watching Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is like going to one of those chain all-you-can-eat buffet restaurants: The potatoes may be overbaked, the green beans limp and the beef lukewarm, but no way are you walking out of there hungry.
Matt Soergel - Florida Times-Union
Clocking in at almost 2 1/2 hours, Revenge of the Fallen feels interminable.
Sonny Bunch - Washington Times
"Megan Fox is the real reason for the popularity of the Transformers series."
D.K. Holm - Vancouver Voice
Honestly, it gave me a headache.
Scott A. Mantz - Access Hollywood
Think of this film as like the first one multiplied by ten. Everything that was good is better and everything that was bad (the relentless stupidity of its story) is worse.
Jordan Hoffman - UGO
Oh how the mighty have fallen%u2026
Kamal 'The Diva' Larsuel - 3BlackChicks Review
I have never felt more like a third nipple than I did, as a screenwriter, while watching Michael Bay's new movie, 'Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen.'
Drew McWeeny - HitFix
Two and a half hours of epic robot battles, thunderous explosions and Megan Fox running in slow motion. Two of the three grow incredibly tiresome.
Anders Wotzke - Cut Print Review
Anders Wotzke - Moviedex
This bombastic follow-up delivers everything you'd expect from a Michael Bay sequel: big action, bad jokes and lots of circling-camera shots.
Thomas Leupp - Hollywood.com
A bloated action sequel so packed with special effects that it's virtually a cartoon
Rich Cline - Shadows on the Wall
You asked for this, America.
Sean Burns - Philadelphia Weekly
Is it too strong to compare Revenge of the Fallen to Rodney King?
Rob Humanick - Projection Booth
You know, it's kind of block-headed. But it's exactly what you'd expect from action director Michael Bay. And hey, it is about robot-like creatures, after all.
Linda Cook - Quad City Times (Davenport, IA)
This mindless, soulless sequel is sensory overload with barely a story, but it will still manage to please the teenage male demographic with constant, if confusing action.
Bruce Bennett - Spectrum (St. George, Utah)
Loud, long and utterly incomprehensible, 'Revenge of the Fallen' is an exquisitely painful experience that pummels the senses as it confounds the intellect.
Rossiter Drake - San Francisco Examiner
The worst thing about the movie, out of many, is that it takes a $200 million budget and a two-and-a-half hour running time, and not a single memorable, impressive or fun thing happens.
Stephen Silver - The Trend
A crowning achievement--the first English-language film that needs subtitles in order to understand it. It's a shoo-in for the Razzies--Worst Foreign Language Movie in a Non Foreign Language.
Christopher Smith - Bangor Daily News (Maine)
A posed, pop-art cinematic ejaculation of instinctive, unthinking extremes. And no, that's not a good thing, sorry.
Brent Simon - Shared Darkness
The hip-hop talking robots were borderline offensive. Is this the movie's way of appealing to the African-American audience? I never knew that robots could shuck n' jive.
Clay Cane - BET.com
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is heavy-metal junk food for CGI gearheads.
Lori Hoffman - Atlantic City Weekly
I'd call it a typical summer blockbuster but then that'd be aninsult to summer blockbusters...
Felix Vasquez Jr. - Cinema Crazed
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is an impressive potboiler. But its overheated pot has a lot of holes.
Tony Macklin - tonymacklin.net
If when you were a child--either with Mr. Wizard or alone--you had passed a magnet over a pile of iron filings, you would have unknowingly created the action scenes of Michael Bay's latest blockbuster, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.
Brandon Judell - CultureCatch
Director Michael Bay sure knows something the rest of us above the age of 19 don't.
Jules Brenner - Cinema Signals
You might make it out of the movie with your soul barely intact, but the actors in the film don't fare so well.
Cole Smithey - ColeSmithey.com
takes everything that was bad about the first Transformers movie two years ago, and amplifies it to deafening proportions
James Kendrick - Q Network Film Desk
One can't tell if it's inspired in its attempts to find something that will draw us in or just colossally sloppy.
Jeremy Heilman - MovieMartyr.com
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen may not be the worst movie ever made, but with its 150-minute running time, it very likely is the most obnoxious.
Ken Hanke - Mountain Xpress (Asheville, NC)
More robotic nonsense.
Charles Koplinski - Illinois Times
It's not so much that the story is inherently bad; it's more that it seems no one bothered to put one in at all, and worse, that no one seems to have cared.
Kim Voynar - Movie City News
It's confusing and excessive and it just missed the mark completely.
Ben Lyons - At the Movies
It is as if Michael Bay was saying "You think I've blown stuff up before? Ha-ha. Wait till you see this."
Ben Mankiewicz - At the Movies
They've managed to make a movie that is so incredibly bad that it manages to mark career lows for pretty much everybody involved.
David Poland - Movie City News
I said the first film is a teenage boy's wet dream. This sequel is just masturbation.
Jeff Bayer - The Scorecard Review
It didn't take itself seriously...a huge blockbuster on the kind of scale I expected, and it didn't offend me like Wolverine or Terminator Salvation.
Eric Melin - Scene-Stealers.com
No white elephants in the room. I'll be brutal. Bay's film sucks with a capital "S" and with the word enveloped in bold italics.
Gary Wolcott - Tri-City Herald
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is even more spectacular than its predecessor, but spectacle without a decent narrative or interesting characters soon becomes tedious.
Evan Williams - The Australian
It's not so much "more than meets the eye" as "more than the eye can meet".
Shannon J. Harvey - Sunday Times (Australia)
Any review of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen only needs be one line long. If you liked the first film, you'll like this one.
Giles Hardie - Sydney Morning Herald
A bad film that seems like a nightmare because it is one.
Dennis Schwartz - Ozus' World Movie Reviews
If you're going to send me a hero, I always say make it one with a built-in cup-holder, Michelins as hip-bling, and car doors for wings!
Mark Ramsey - MovieJuice!
Action fans won't feel cheated by director Bay, but beyond the rousing scenes and special effects, this sequel offers little.
Boo Allen - Denton Record Chronicle (TX)
... there's no time to digest anything going on or in anyway connect with it because (Michael) Bay just HAS to show you something else... right now.
Kevin A. Ranson - MovieCrypt.com
The bottom line for me is that Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen simply wasn't as much fun as the original. In their zeal to give us more of what they think we want, Bay and crew have sucked all the joy out of their own franchise.
Mike McGranaghan - Aisle Seat
John Turturro's very human, comic energy lifts an otherwise flat and re-dundant sequel.
John Wirt - Advocate (Baton Rouge, LA)
The first movie of 2009 to fail my clock test.
Gina Carbone - Seacoast Newspapers (NH/Maine)
Will insult your intelligence, hurt your eyes, and offend your sense of decency until you worry that your skull might explode while your brain trickles right out of your ears.
Tricia Olszewski - Washington City Paper
It's a wad of chaos puked onto the big screen, an arbitrary collection of explosions and machismo posturing.
David Cornelius - eFilmCritic.com
These unchained masses of tin men, their cumbersome cubic feet galumphing across screens worldwide...sheer lightweights. With an iron deficiency like you wouldn't believe.
Kimberly Gadette - Indie Movies Online
I saw Revenge of the Fallen at Imax, which is probably why I managed to stay awake in what for me was the world's most boring movie.
Ruth Hessey - MovieTime, ABC Radio National
Put in your earplugs and grab the aspirin. Enjoyable for the only the easiest to please 10-year-old boys; this deafening, tiresome epic is a skull-splitting hot mess for everyone else.
Diva Velez - TheDivaReview.com
Tinnitus with pictures.
John Beifuss - Commercial Appeal (Memphis, TN)
Sure it could have been a little more critic-friendly, a little more intellectual, maybe even a little less silly, but Michael Bay is first and foremost an entertainer and in my opinion he once again gets the job done.
Danny Minton - Fort Bend Sun
If it sounds as though the script (credited to Ehren Kruger, Robert Orci, and Alex Kurtzman) was written in serial-novel form during an all-night mescaline bender, well, I have no evidence that it was not.
Christopher Orr - New Republic
Christopher Orr - The New Republic
A perfectly dreadful sequel that's the filmic equivalent of a 150-minute waterboarding session.
Matt Brunson - Creative Loafing
A high-octane, 2-1%u20442 hour diversion certain to stimulate, titillate and satiate the blood and other lusts of the raging-hormone set.
Kam Williams - NewsBlaze
Michael Bay has learned that action film fans like to see action. He's taken his head out of his keister and his camera out of the Transformers' tailpipes.
Amy Nicholson - I.E. Weekly
One of the worst film going experiences I've ever had. It's loud, violent, offensive, crude and I had to put up with a screaming brat. But for some reason I still kind of liked it.
Michelle Alexandria - Eclipse Magazine
Hooray for explosions!
Cammila Albertson - TV Guide's Movie Guide
Michael Bay is an abstract artist... all of that hardware flying around the screen...are simply blobs of light and shadow...like paint spattered on a canvas by Jackson Pollack.
Steve Biodrowski - Cinefantastique
The Autobots and Decepticons return in this gleefully over-the-top sequel to 2007's successful Transformers, with many of the original's actors reprising their roles -- including Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, and Tyrese Gibson. The clutter
David Nusair - AskMen.com
strefei to skopeytro tis se ena koino-stoho poy, gia na antistoihei me ti dieyrynsi toy budget, ilikiaka epekteinetai abyssalea pros ta kato
Joseph Proimakis - Movies for the Masses
Shrieking and ugly and tedious and soft-headed, not even giving the thin comfort of being hilariously bad.
Tim Brayton - Antagony & Ecstasy
I'd rather listen to Mr. Roboto on a loop for 150 minutes than watch Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen again.
Mike Ward - Richmond.com
A half hour of entertainment sprinkled sparingly over 2.5 hours.
Robert Roten - Laramie Movie Scope
'The difference between men and boys is the size of their toys'...and the epic length and cacophany of their thrill rides.
Susan Granger - SSG Syndicate
Terrorist toys take center stage with humans pretty much sticking around as scenery papering the screen, especially Megan Fox as sci-fi eye candy.
Prairie Miller - NewsBlaze
An over-the-top movie that smashes and bashes the senses.
Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat - Spirituality and Practice
It's as if Bay decided that, after the first film, no more plot was needed. And maybe the target audience won't mind that, but for anyone else the lack of an intelligible plot and interesting characters quickly becomes boring.
David Stratton - At the Movies (Australia)
No longer better than sex.
Fred Topel - CraveOnline
Visually, the film is beautiful, but as a huge fan of the first one, I was thoroughly disappointed with the structure, pacing, script and overall experience.
Kevin McCarthy - BDK Reviews
Full of sound and fury signifying not very much at all.
Margaret Pomeranz - At the Movies (Australia)
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a Big Dumb Object: an action blockbuster so loud, ugly and exhausting that criticism seems beside the point.
Jake Wilson - The Age (Australia)
When the film finally ends, the audience doesn't feel so much elated as beaten into submission.
Ethan Alter - Giant Magazine
A repeat of the MTV Award for Best Movie of 2007 won by the first film based on the Hasbro action figure line of toys seems highly unlikely.
Keith Cohen - Entertainment Spectrum
By the climactic desert conflict, in which the entire Valley of the Kings is razed, the film has become so breathtakingly, boneheadedly brazen that it's easier just to give in.
Tom Huddleston - Time Out New York
I swear to you that I have never had a film experience that felt longer than the whopping 149 minutes of Revenge of the Fallen, every single one of which I wish I had spent doing something else.
Brian Tallerico - Movie Retriever
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is everything that made the first film awesome and terrible at the same time... to a factor of ten.
Kevin Carr - 7M Pictures
The quintessential Michael Bay movie, though in this instance I mean that as high compliment.
Sean O'Connell - Charlotte Weekly
Boasts spectacular visuals, sound effects and editing, but it suffers from tedious, mind-numbing action sequences, diminishing thrills and a plot filled with too much silliness, leaps of logic and blandness that leaves you feeling underwhelmed.
Avi Offer - NYC Movie Guru
While the loudness is periodically entertaining, it just becomes white noise after a while.
Eric D. Snider - EricDSnider.com
Good when it is good, but extremely, shockingly, horrifyingly bad when it is bad.
Willie Waffle - WaffleMovies.com
The lack of -- you know, people -- distances us from the film, and the special effects are so omnipresent in those scenes that it feels more like we're watching animation than live action.
Chris Hewitt (St. Paul) - St. Paul Pioneer Press
Tao ruim que deveria figurar numa clausula adicional da Convencao de Genebra para que tivessemos a certeza de que nao seria exibido como forma de tortura a prisioneiros politicos.
Pablo Villaca - Cinema em Cena
Never in the field of blockbuster movies has so much been spent on so little.
Peter Canavese - Groucho Reviews
Like its predecessor, it remains resolutely critic-proof and more honest about its purpose than most soulless corporate abominations.
Rob Vaux - Mania.com
This is the single worst film to be released thus far in the summer of 2009 and that's a whole helluva pile of bad to overcome in achieving that title.
Erik Childress - eFilmCritic.com
If the robots in Revenge of the Fallen are so menacing, why can't they outrun Shia LaBeouf?
Christian Toto - What Would Toto Watch?
Quickly collapses into unmitigated big-budget tedium, all dressed up with nowhere to go.
Robert Levin - Critic's Notebook
The cluttered storyline of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen amounts to a convoluted treasure hunt.
Renie Scolaro Mora - PopMatters
The FX are still awesome, but they've lost their novelty factor. As for everything else, it still pretty much sucks.
Kevin N. Laforest - Montreal Film Journal
Revenge of the Fallen almost feels like it's signaling an end-game for blockbuster movies: all sensation, no content, catastrophic expense.
M.E. Russell - Oregonian
...an ungainly and incomprehensible assault on the senses.
Mark Pfeiffer - Reel Times: Reflections on Cinema
The movie is formulaic and routine, which suits (Michael) Bay's directorial style. Creativity is anathema to this by-the-numbers cinematic traffic cop.
Bob Bloom - Journal and Courier (Lafayette, IN)
Michael Bay has no idea that less is more in this loud and long action flick designed to give the fan boys what they want and then some.
Rodney Chester - Courier Mail (Australia)
Convenient story leaps, shamefully inappropriate elements, completely incoherent action, and frustratingly lowest-common denominator "comic" relief.
Todd Hertz - Christianity Today
You like 'splosions and special effects? Hey, you got 'em. But for anyone over the age of 12, this hardly makes up for lead-footed plotting or the fact these metal machines can't even stay consistent within their own mythology.
Gregory Moore - Time Out Sydney
This film is a poster child for the idea that more does not always equal more.
Marjorie Baumgarten - Austin Chronicle
This is cinematic poetry for pinheads. It's less of a film than a reason for a noise ordinance. But for the faithful -- action aficionados and Transformers disciples -- it indisputably delivers.
Kevin Williamson - Jam! Movies
Prepare for bigger metal crunchers, louder explosion and more of Megan Fox's glossy lips.
Kit Bowen - The Movie Kit
It would be great to say there is "more than meets the eye", but that is not the case. It's just a near-perfect replica of the first film.
Colin Newton - Courier Mail (Australia)
Revenge of the Fallen is almost literally plotless. It's like a movie based on a TV Guide description. A bloated, ponderous piece of s**t.
Devin Faraci - CHUD
Just like super-sizing a McDonalds meal doesn't make it taste any better, neither does giving us more of what was in the first film help Transformers 2.
Vic Holtreman - ScreenRant
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is more proof [Bay] has a great eye for scale and a gift for visceral amazement.
Armond White - New York Press
Revenge of the Fallen entertains when things are being smashed, squished, ripped apart and blown into tiny pieces. The Transformers' animations and the chaos of their combat are intense and spectacular.
Stanley A. Miller II - Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
Filled with explosions, amazing special effects and a good dose of humor. It's everything a summer blockbuster should be.
Jackie K. Cooper - jackiekcooper.com
The first film was a summer action movie masterpiece, this one can't even make giant, transforming robots stay interesting for its entire running time.
Matthew Razak - Examiner.com
I honestly wish it could change itself into a good movie, instead it ends up being one of the worst sequels I've ever seen.
Jeffrey Lyles - Gazette (MD)
The magic isn't in the plot (no disrespect to returning screenwriters Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, joined by Ehren Kruger), but in the obvious delight Bay takes in boyish fantasies of battles, cars, aliens and babes.
Rafer Guzman - Newsday
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen suffers from the same malady as its predecessor, an almost pathological aversion to taking itself seriously.
Brandon Fibbs - BrandonFibbs.com
... the bigger, longer, more expensive and completely unnecessary sequel to the amusing 2007 blockbuster about giant alien robots...
Sean Axmaker - Seanax.com
Leave it to Michael Bay to take the fun out of explosions.
Dan Lybarger - eFilmCritic.com
It's all pretty numbing.
Stephen Whitty - Newark Star-Ledger
Parental Content Review
Jim Judy - Screen It!
Even longer and noisier than its predecessor--as well as dumber and more incoherent...like a big, unsightly, clattery toy powered by a battery that just wont quit, even though you devoutly wish it would.
Frank Swietek - One Guy's Opinion
In what has been an alarmingly weak summer, Transformers 2 really doesn't contribute much to improve it.
Bill Clark - FromTheBalcony
Fallen would do well to turn itself into a bland, eighteen-wheeler and drive out of town.
Tom Keogh - Seattle Times
The spectacular Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a triumph of the producers' creed: Pound the senses, simulate emotion and milk the golden calf of the familiar like a mechanical farmhand.
Joe Williams - St. Louis Post-Dispatch
This is a giant robot battle movie that never takes itself too seriously.
Luke Y. Thompson - E! Online
Putrid, offensive and life-sucking. Early word is describing this woebegone fiasco as the next Batman and Robin. Having seen both, Joel Schumacher has every right to protest the comparison.
Dustin Putman - DustinPutman.com
I hated every 149 minutes. This is so bad it's immoral. Michael Bay is a time-sucking vampire who will feast off your lost time. This is why the movie is so long.
Victoria Alexander - FilmsInReview.com
Autobots battle Decepticons, with Planet Earth at stake. Thunderous, chaotic sequel actually improves on the original.
Daniel Eagan - Film Journal International
Michael Bay has once again transformed garbage into something resembling a film, at least in the loosest sense: it can be run through a projector and used to sell millions of tickets.
Jeffrey M. Anderson - Combustible Celluloid
It's like standing in the middle of a dust storm and opening your eyes to let the grit pour in. Car parts fly around the screen as if in a scrap metal tornado.
Joshua Tyler - CinemaBlend.com
Critics blithely refer to movies as 'painful' all the time, but this is the real deal.
Eugene Novikov - AMCtv.com
Bay's most unrestrained and ridiculous to date. The male teenage cinematic equivalent of snorting cocaine off a hooker's ass.
Garth Franklin - Dark Horizons
Nell Minow - Beliefnet
...Fox is wasted, given nothing more to do then wear revealing outfits and pout.
Michael A. Smith - Nolan's Pop Culture Review
It finally occurred to me that pyrotechnics are Bay's pornography: massive, fiery money-shots. I hope he had a sufficient supply of tissues in the editing room.
Marshall Fine - Hollywood & Fine
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is what it is: a big-budget spectacle with an incredible amount of action, a frivolous plot, and one hot chick.
Rebecca Murray - About.com
A cinematic avalanche in which Michael Bay eschews anything resembling plot or characters and instead screams at the audience's eyes for two and a half hours.
Alonso Duralde - MSNBC
Bay's low humor is lame enough, but it's downright offensive juxtaposed with Pearl Harbor-like scenes of a U.S. Navy aircraft carrier being destroyed by Decepticons.
Sean Means - Salt Lake Tribune
I know they had to get this script in before the writer's strike and that it was really rushed, but did no one proof read this thing?
Jenna Busch - JoBlo's Movie Emporium
If you ever wondered what a movie would look like geared toward the underdeveloped brain of a gestating zygote...then Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is the insipid illustration you've been waiting for.
Bill Gibron - PopMatters
"Beginning! Middle! End! Condense! Details! Plot!," yells John Turturro's G-man at a robot somewhere in the middle of the morass "Revenge of the Fallen" becomes. Forget "More than meets the eye." Michael Bay should have more so heeded that cry.
Nick Rogers - Suite101.com
For far too long, the movie consists of chase scenes, scrotum jokes, shrieked conversations, broad slapstick, and depressingly regressive ethnic caricatures.
Tasha Robinson - AV Club
No giant robots urinate on humans in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.
Nick Schager - Slant Magazine
It's the movie to see if the most important person in your life is Optimus Prime. If, like me, you think Optimus Prime is a Roman steakhouse, move on.
Gary Thompson - Philadelphia Daily News
It's all so last administration.
Walter Chaw - Film Freak Central
Despite having lowered the artistic bar to Death Valley levels, director Michael Bay has somehow managed to figure out a way to slither beneath with the flexibility of the pole dancers-in-training that he prefers to hire as his female extras.
Peter Sobczynski - eFilmCritic.com
If you took a still shot of one of them in the middle of an action sequence, you'd need to think for about a second or two to really understand what you're looking at. The visual design of these Transformers appears decidedly uncinematic.
Jeffrey Chen - ReelTalk Movie Reviews
A 150-minute simulation of life in a garbage disposal.
Matt Pais - Metromix.com
[L]ike the most totally awesome artifact ever of the end of the American empire... loud, obnoxious, sexist, racist, juvenile, unthinking, visceral, and violent... and in love with ourselves for it.
MaryAnn Johanson - Flick Filosopher
The dubious, tasteless humor and awful dialogue don't help. Neither does having a leading lady who can't act -- Fox seems to be regressing in her development as a performer.
Jeff Vice - Deseret News, Salt Lake City
The only part of Fallen more boring than when things are exploding is when things aren't exploding.
Josh Bell - Las Vegas Weekly
All this is Bay being Bay, but you have to question the motives of Hasbro. The company is marketing its toys through a film that contains language and humor inappropriate for children 13 and younger.
Jeffrey Westhoff - Northwest Herald (Crystal Lake, IL)
After 149 minutes, I felt like I had been sitting in an aluminum garbage can while someone drummed on the outside with a wrench.
Laura Clifford - Reeling Reviews
Something is seriously amiss when a movie as noisy and frenetic as Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is so boring it puts you to sleep.
Robert W. Butler - Kansas City Star
A joyless, humorless, bloated carcass of an event movie...Nothing kills the euphoric buzz of exceptionally articulated carefree mindlessness quite like a newly emboldened Michael Bay.
Brian Orndorf - BrianOrndorf.com
Bad storytelling is bad storytelling, no matter how many explosions, robots and hot chicks you have on screen.
Dean Essner - FILMINK (Australia)
Even for a Michael Bay movie, this robot-on-robot sequel is a pointless, messy assault on the senses. The special effects, of course, are flawless. The rest is scrap metal.
Joe Lozito - Big Picture Big Sound
At least the special effects in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen are remarkable: You never tire of the endless variations of robots Bay and his computer-generated effects crew come up with.
Rene Rodriguez - Miami Herald
at a time when kids are being pushed to grow up instantly and adults are encouraged to cultivate their arrested development, it makes perfect sense that Michael Bay is waiting for them right in the middle, Happy Meal in hand.
Chris Barsanti - Filmcritic.com
It's so loud and relentless you feel you're in the center of a trash compactor.
Michael Sragow - Baltimore Sun
If you're lucky - and this is rare - you can figure out which robots are fighting and, eventually, who won.
Josh Larsen - LarsenOnFilm
...a monolithic action masterpiece that feels destined to be the biggest movie of all time.
Todd Gilchrist - Cinematical
Maxing the sci-fi elements, Bay brings in 50-odd different robots including two that win my Jah Jah Binks Film Award for comic ethnic stereotyping. Shellshock soon locks in as yet another monster twists out of carnage. Then you stifle the yawns.
Victor Olliver - Teletext
A lot of people put a great deal of effort into this movie to create great effects and exciting action but the whole thing is led by a man who directs by numbers.
Paul Byrnes - Sydney Morning Herald
Bay will be blamed for the shortcomings of this loud, long sequel, but the problem is not the overwhelming effects or huge explosions but the silly, old-fashioned tale that doesn't make any sense.
Emanuel Levy - EmanuelLevy.Com
More robots, more in-your-face action, more awesome special effects and more stunning world-wide locations.
Dean Essner - Sunday Mail [UK]
By turns Revenge Of The Fallen is spectacular, funny, cringeworthy, edge-of-the-seat exciting, tedious, incomprehensible, dumb and very occasionally smart -- sometimes all at the same time.
Richard Edwards - SFX Magazine
Spectacular and totally meaningless, like a video game transposed to the big screen and worked by a maniacal enthusiast.
Derek Malcolm - This is London
Like the original, the film is a giant frenetic spectacle that worships excess.
Louise Keller - Urban Cinefile
Bay may have the skills to deliver thrills, and he certainly has the audacity to spend hundreds of millions of dollars providing audiences with megawatt instant gratification. But he doesn't have the smarts to make something that sticks in the memory.
Alistair Harkness - Scotsman
Even if it were a more tolerable 90 minutes, it would still sum up everything that is most tedious, crass and despicable about modern Hollywood.
Christopher Tookey - Daily Mail [UK]
Director Michael Bay has always had a passion for big, noisy spectacles and Revenge Of The Fallen is a bravura display of his ability to mastermind global destruction. What it lacks is the human touch, decent dialogue, novelty and restraint.
Allan Hunter - Daily Express
Transformers 2 feels a bit like watching someone else play a video game for two and a half hours.
Simon Reynolds - Digital Spy
The digital effects are mind-boggling, assuming, after extensive pulverisation, that you have a mind left to boggle.
Nigel Andrews - Financial Times
Despite its few faults, this is this summer's biggest ticket and ties with Star Trek for the best summer blockbuster of 2009.
Simon Thompson - Heart 106.2
Revenge Of The Fallen isn't only louder than Transformers, however. It's longer, it's more explosive, it's more directionless, it's all the proof you'll ever need that more really isn't always more.
Richard Luck - Film4
It's like being hit over the head repeatedly with a very expensive, very loud train set.After two and a half hours in this bludgeoning company, you're begging Bay to put away the boys' toys and make a rom-com.
Ed Potton - Times [UK]
In terms of explosions, firepower and sheer shrill, all-action, popcorn entertainment it is hard to see how this big'n'bold sequel can be topped this year.
Mark Adams - Sunday Mirror [UK]
Transformers is entertainment by volume. Both in terms of a decibel level that pummels you into submission, and a whopping run-time of around two-and-a-half hours. It feels like a tipping point - a kind of nirvana for the Ritalin generation.
Matt Bochenski - Little White Lies
Big, loud and definitely not clever, it's a giant, lumbering idiot of a movie that, were it not for all the explosions, would send the most devoted action fans to sleep.
David Edwards - Daily Mirror [UK]
Bigger, louder and more annoying, this won't disappoint fans of the first film, but the deficiencies in script and character are even more apparent this time round and Bay's contempt for his audience is almost palpable.
Matthew Turner - ViewLondon
It's bigger. Badder. Boobier. And many other words beginning with B, including boneheadedly brilliant.
Robbie Collin - News of the World
Fourteen-year-old boys will get their money's worth. This boring, preposterous nonsense is stretched to an agonising two-and-a-half hours.
Anthony Quinn - Independent
While it would be hard to make a case for 'Revenge of the Fallen' as 'good' in any normal sense of the word, it possesses such brute force that the viewer is left with two options: surrender, or suffer in silence.
Tom Huddlestone - Time Out
Bay's is a cinema on steroids, pursuing a body-builder's dream of eternal growth -- it must bulge constantly outward, veins popping like twigs from its ever-flexed biceps.
Tim Robey - Daily Telegraph
This re-run of the previous thrills and spills displays a disappointing lack of ambition.
Dean Essner - Sun Online
This thunderously noisy celebration of the Hasbro toy ticks all the right boxes with the fanboys...the rest of us might suffer metal fatigue.
Tim Evans - Sky Movies
It's like watching a blender for two hours while someone shouts at you. And then the last half an hour is the same, except it's more like having your head strapped to a washing machine while you watch a blender and someone shouts at you.
Dean Essner - FHM [UK]
Practically a remake of the first movie!
James O'Ehley - Sci-Fi Movie Page
My advice is to switch off your brainpower, get in touch with your inner juvenile self and go with the flow for this feast for the senses, orchestrated by the undoubted maestro of the genre Michael Bay.
Richard Mowe - Boxoffice Magazine
There is nothing - nothing - in Bay's film that can be taken seriously - although that becomes something of a problem in itself, given Bay's relentless exploitation of imagery from 9/11 and the Second Gulf War...
Anton Bitel - Eye for Film
A super-sized second helping, but the novelty factor and some of the charm's gone. Hey, at least there's more Megatron / Starscream squabbling this time round.
Nick De Semlyen - Empire Magazine
It was clearly the director's intention to paint Revenge of the Fallen on an epic canvas. It's more of the same - a lot more.
Orlando Parfitt - IGN Movies UK
Old folks may find the relentless sensory assault a little draining, but the bangs, 'bots and bombast ensure Fallen has everything Transformers fans will want and expect.
Mark Samuels - Total Film
Performance-wise, the machines do tend to upstage the humans.
Fionnuala Halligan - Screen International