Valentine's Day Reviews

  • Every skit is lame, every line of dialogue is stale, every joke falls flat, and every performance has been phoned in between text messages to agents blinking, ''SOS!''

    Lisa Schwarzbaum — Entertainment Weekly

  • The dire romantic comedy Valentine's Day is neither romantic nor remotely comedic.

    Manohla Dargis — New York Times

  • Valentine's Day has all the awkward tedium of a bad first date, without the promise or excitement of a good one.

    Claudia Puig — USA Today

  • This feels less like a movie and more like a strategically programmed effort to turn as many demographic groups as possible into mooshy, gooshy, candy-heart-munching morons.

    Jen Chaney — Washington Post

  • For those who prefer their romantic comedy in bulk, this is a steal. But attention Costco shoppers: Quantity here runs a distant second to quality.

    Wesley Morris — Boston Globe

  • Sugary, sappy and totally predictable. It's also what a whole lot of women are likely to want.

    Elizabeth Weitzman — New York Daily News

  • Valentine's Day deploys every rom-com cliche, minus the com-there's isn't a laugh in the movie, unless you count a fleeting sequence featuring comedian Larry Miller, who's also probably the least prominent member of the cast.

    John Anderson — Wall Street Journal

  • High art? Maybe not. But Valentine's Day certainly goes down easy.

    Christopher Kelly — Dallas Morning News

  • Charmingly cast and phenomenally so-so.

    Lisa Kennedy — Denver Post

  • The real St. Valentine was stoned and beheaded; would that the same fate fell on the people behind this shallow, shabby fraud.

    James Rocchi — MSN Movies

  • Valentine's Day is so desperate to keep all the characters alive, it's like those Russian jugglers who run around, trying to keep all their plates spinning on poles.

    Roger Ebert — Chicago Sun-Times

  • Is Valentine's Day good? Not really, though plenty of the actors are.

    Michael Phillips — Chicago Tribune

  • Valueless as entertainment, it's still useful as a disambiguation tool for those who confuse Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel, or Taylor Dayne and Taylor Swift.

    Cliff Doerksen — Chicago Reader

  • As sweets go, it's not dense and complex like a truffle, rather, it's light and modest like a chocolate kiss. It's not art; it's a pick-me-up.

    Carrie Rickey — Philadelphia Inquirer

  • The film seems like a package deal arranged by a talent agency that found half its stars were idle for a day or two over a three-week period.

    Colin Covert — Minneapolis Star Tribune

  • Valentine's Day is a passing nod to love, like a box of chocolates or flowers that soon wilt. It's star-studded amiable fluff with no real value, but it's kind of a tickle if you're in the mood.

    Tom Long — Detroit News

  • Marshall, working from a script by Katherine Fugate, probably would have done better to pare some of the elements to concentrate more fully on... something. His golf game, maybe.

    Bill Goodykoontz — Arizona Republic

  • It's a romantic piffle stuffed with so much candy that your skin could break out.

    Rex Reed — New York Observer

  • As gooey and lacking in protein as a chocolate holiday bonbon, Valentine's Day plays like a feature-length commercial produced by the Friends of the Valentine Promotional Society.

    Todd McCarthy — Variety

  • Less funny or romantic than your average colonoscopy, this cringe-inducing bore provides dubious employment for four Oscar winners, two nominees and a raft of TV performers such as George Lopez, all of whom have been seen to better advantage elsewhere.

    Lou Lumenick — New York Post

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