Vampires Suck Reviews

  • The Twilight Saga, with its operatic gloom and straight-faced fantasy, is undoubtedly ripe for a smart, good-natured ribbing. This isn't it.

    Adam Markovitz — Entertainment Weekly

  • Aside from the difficulty of spoofing a saga that has always been winkingly aware of its own angsty excesses, there is the inadvisability of angering a tweeniverse whose emotional investment in the originals borders on pathological.

    Jeannette Catsoulis — New York Times

  • Perhaps the filmmakers deserve credit for their one show of restraint: No jokes in this movie have been made at the expense of Justin Bieber.

    Jen Chaney — Washington Post

  • With Vampires Suck, the film is just as guilty as the vampires.

    Natalie Southwick — Boston Globe

  • All but the most die-hard fans can agree that the Twilight movies are spoof-worthy. So it's too bad they don't get a worthy spoof.

    Elizabeth Weitzman — New York Daily News

  • Two very important things to note about Vampires Suck: The film is a spoof of the Twilight movies, and the title is a good indication of where the level of wit lies.

    Randy Cordova — Arizona Republic

  • This instantly forgettable trifle is fairly close to worthless.

    Joe Leydon — Variety

  • It's the sort of movie where "finger food" is offered at a party. And it's fingers. Haw.

    Roger Moore — Orlando Sentinel

  • Parodies can be hilarious. This one sucks.

    Bruce Demara — Toronto Star

  • There's a joke or broad sight gag every 15 seconds or so, but the ratio of hits to misses is nearly nonexistent.

    Frank Scheck — Hollywood Reporter

  • This movie sucks more.

    Peter Travers — Rolling Stone

  • Plenty of gags fall flat, but writer-directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer... have tapped the vein more effectively than their norm, with enjoyable details and on-the-mark senseless brutality.

    Michael Ordona — Los Angeles Times

  • It's been two whole years since the team of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer subjected us to one of its godawful parodies. Alas, the vacation is over.

    Randall King

  • With the level of humor here running to flatulence jokes, groin kicks and high-school smart-aleck cracks, their movie does, indeed, (surely no other critic in the world will be this clever) SUCK!

    Tulsa World

  • A witless, slavish pastiche of the series of romantic dramas based on Stephenie Meyer's Twilight novels. It is a knowing film that knows nothing about comedy.

    Philip French — Observer [UK]

  • Vampires Suck, and films like it, not only fail to parody elements of contemporary society, they barely spoof the genre they are trying to mock.

    W. Scott Poole — PopMatters

  • For the most part, the jokes are mildly relevant at least

    Kevin Carr — 7M Pictures

  • I know comedy is subjective, so grant me that Vampires Suck just did not make me laugh. It probably doesn't help that, as a spoof on the Twilight franchise, it's making fun of movies I also don't enjoy.

    Mark Bell — Film Threat

  • It's almost as cynical as the actual Twilight, and not nearly as funny.

    Rafer Guzman — Newsday

  • An insult to other bad vampire movies, which is saying a mouthful.

    Dennis Schwartz — Ozus' World Movie Reviews

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