“The Ultimate Movie Review!”
“Kate Beckinsale Is A Good Actress. She Has Taken On Underworld, And Appeared In Films Such As Winged Creatures(Fragments) And The Aviator. Yet In This Film She Takes On An Average Starring Role And Doesn't Really Do Much With It.”
“As I Walked Out Of The Theater I Immediately Knew What I Should Write For My Quote Of This Review: Avoid, Avoid At All Costs, Save Yourself.”
“Whiteout: A Condition In Which Your Mind Is Teased With Suspense And Strays You Into A Boring Ass Low Standard Mystery Flick ”
“2 Star At Best.”
“Nature Never Intended For You To Survive Here”
“Kate Beckinsale Does Her Best With The Given Material, But The Film Is Weighed Down By Its Mind Boggling Performances And Story.”
“Predictable As The Sun.”
Whiteout is a conventionally jam-packed, dutifully ludicrous action thriller.
Lisa Schwarzbaum - Entertainment Weekly
Has a perfunctory, by-the-numbers approach to its story and its characters.
A.O. Scott - New York Times
Despite Beckinsale's impeccable features appearing to be rendered in porcelain, her performance is far from lifeless...she does the best with the material. It's just a shame the same can't be said for the film-makers.
Jeremy Kay - Guardian [UK]
While the setting can be mesmerizing, little else about this movie is captivating. It's a standard-issue thriller, with a twist you see coming a continent away.
Claudia Puig - USA Today
Dan Zak - Washington Post
A ham-handed murder mystery.
Ty Burr - Boston Globe
Sadly, Whiteout wimps out, starting out like The Thing and winding up like CSI: South Pole, wasting whatever it has going for it.
Joe Neumaier - New York Daily News
The film is all panicky zooms and badly staged action dotted with random forensic gross-outs. And, just for the fun of it, an amputation scene.
Amy Biancolli - Houston Chronicle
...the whole cast delivers numb, almost affect-less performances; the cold must have got to them.
Mary F. Pols - MSN Movies
Even in a whiteout, you can see the plot twists coming.
Richard Roeper - Chicago Sun-Times
The film's slick and expensive looking but dumber than a dead penguin.
Cliff Doerksen - Chicago Reader
It'll take all day to list all the things that are wrong with Whiteout.
Tirdad Derakhshani - Philadelphia Inquirer
The movie then becomes one of those murder mysteries where everyone is a suspect, and the murderer himself is the least likely candidate of all. Dispelling all logic, you should be able to figure out this whodunit in the opening minutes.
Adam Graham - Detroit News
Should fade faster than a polar bear in a blizzard.
Lael Loewenstein - Variety
The severely nonthrilling thriller Whiteout moves like winter in Antarctica. Who the flake greenlit this blobby blur?
Kyle Smith - New York Post
For all its frozen blood, assaults with ice axes and killer weather, Whiteout turns out to be only a pale imitation of the thriller it might have been.
Roger Moore - Orlando Sentinel
By eliminating so many suspects before the obligatory drawing-room denouement and final deadly confrontation, it's a given that the audience will feel cheated when the real bad guy turns out to be the only possible contender.
Greg Quill - Toronto Star
What's missing from Whiteout is the pervasive sense of paranoia that you'd expect, or hope for, from a thriller set on the coldest and most isolated land mass on the planet.
Stephanie Zacharek - Salon.com
Stupefying journey to the bottom of the earth.
Stephen Farber - Hollywood Reporter
It's Kate Beckinsale on Ice.
Jake Coyle - Associated Press
No event occurs without a character telling us what we're seeing. This unwelcome commentary is so overdone that it becomes, by the end, an invitation for audience participation. All together now: It's a body! Looks like it's been shot in the head!
Glenn Whipp - Los Angeles Times
Gallons of the titular correction fluid may have helped Dominic Sena's abysmal thriller if it had been applied at just about any juncture during the graphic novel-to-feature film script stage.
Simon Foster - Screen-Space
Keith Uhlich - Time Out
When the snow starts blowing, it's impossible to tell who's who and what's what. Maybe parkas should be color-coded.
Neil Pond - American Profile
Dave White - Movies.com
Dominic Sena, whose credits include 1993's 'Kalifornia' (good) and 1996's 'Swordfish' (not so good), can't seem to find anything new under the perpetually obscured sun.
Rossiter Drake - San Francisco Examiner
If you'd forgotten that this title ever existed, well, so have I.
Walter Chaw - Film Freak Central
South Pole-set whodunnit is bloody but bland.
James Rocchi - Common Sense Media
Okay, it's far from the best murder mystery you've ever seen, but I still can't help but liking this throwaway thriller. The ending was no surprise. Paul Chambers, CNN.
Paul Chambers - CNNRadio
...it's painless. Brainless, too, but not so much so that you want to throw a shoe at the screen.
John J. Puccio - DVDTown.com
John J. Puccio - Movie Metropolis
Needed: Generic thriller in an exotic setting, some gore, possible sci-fi elements, female lead, and an older male star to play grizzled supporting character. Must work cheap.
Adam Lippe - Examiner.com
Whiteout is a colorless wasteland. There's only one thing that could have helped cover this film up: A flashback that changed the script's name to Wite-Out.
Elias Savada - Film Threat
The film's biggest crime is that no obvious effort was made here, everything flows with the rigidity of a check list of genre cliches and safe choices.
Garth Franklin - Dark Horizons
The movie is as inert as the wintry terrain in which it is set.
D.K. Holm - Quick Stop Entertainment
I wasn't entertained, I just wanted out of the supposed cold.
Jeff Bayer - The Scorecard Review
...just predictable routine.
Robin Clifford - Reeling Reviews
a relatively mediocre, by-the-numbers mystery thriller that melts from your mind as soon as you step into the sunlight
James Kendrick - Q Network Film Desk
The misleading trailer suggests 'Nancy Drew vs. the Thing,' but this graphic-novel adaptation is more 'CSI: Antractica' -- a straight if occasionally gruesome murder mystery, boosted by the novelty of its sub-zero South Pole setting.
John Beifuss - Commercial Appeal (Memphis, TN)
Kate Beckinsale, adrift in a blizzard of cliches, doesn't have enough star presence or her Stevie Nicks black leather vampire drag to keep audiences from drifting away. Bland and predictable.
Richard Knight - Windy City Times
It's pretty poor.
Philip French - Observer [UK]
Is best when dealing with the splendors of the natural landscape.
Dennis Schwartz - Ozus' World Movie Reviews
It takes slightly longer than three minutes for diminished mental capacity to set in during this Antarctic murder mystery with a fatally low body temperature. Kate Beckinsale is unrepentantly lazy, dialogue is awful and its misdirection is obvious.
Nick Rogers - Suite101.com
The screenplay is unusually lazy -- additional investigators (Gabriel Macht, purportedly a U.N. detective) appear literally out of nowhere, in the middle of nowhere.
Gary Thompson - Philadelphia Daily News
Starting from a graphic novel, Sena has turned out your standard TV crime show bloated with a monstrous FX budget.
Tom Meek - Boston Phoenix
Kate Beckinsale is about as convincing a U.S. Marshal as Joan Crawford is a loving mother.
Keith Uhlich - Time Out New York
I'd watch Kate Beckinsale in anything but even she can't make this movie anything better than average.
Jackie K. Cooper - jackiekcooper.com
A stupid thriller.
Michael Phillips - At the Movies
Where are the penguins?
A.O. Scott - At the Movies
You'd think that a movie that opens with a gratuitous Kate Beckinsale shower scene couldn't be all bad. But you'd be wrong.
Ethan Alter - Giant Magazine
At first I thought they were trying to do a film noir thing with the dialogue, but then I realized that it was just bad writing made worse by horrendous line delivery.
Danny Minton - Fort Bend Sun
Whiteout is not awful, but it is maddeningly mediocre.
Steve "Uncle Creepy" Barton - Dread Central
Setting Whiteout in Antarctica salvages the movie from the cinematic scrap heap.
Christian Toto - What Would Toto Watch?
The characters based on the [graphic] novel never get beyond one dimension and the film moves at the pace of an Antarctic glacier. On second thought, the glacier moves faster.
Gary Wolcott - Tri-City Herald
What a stiff.
Gina Carbone - Seacoast Newspapers (NH/Maine)
At least 10% more exciting than correction fluid.
Peter Canavese - Groucho Reviews
Characters flail their way through the snow and we squint to see what's going on only to discover that what's going on is pretty much nothing.
Joshua Tyler - CinemaBlend.com
There's wonderful potential for permanently bleached out vistas to embody a metaphorical emptiness. Here it's just a great big blank.
Leigh Singer - Film4
An uninspired thriller.
- Financial Times
A whodunnit set on a scientific research base in Antarctica that slowly becomes a "Who cares?"
Kevin Maher - Times [UK]
A predictable whodunnit set in a cinematographer's paradise.
Kim Davies - Empire Magazine
The most surprising thrill ride of the summer, in that it is adequately thrilling and I didn't expect that.
Fred Topel - Can Magazine
Ice-schlocky - an idiotic wipeout.
Susan Granger - SSG Syndicate
...an easy enough way to pass time if you're not too demanding or if the cast or unusual setting piques your interest.
Daniel M. Kimmel - New England Movies Weekly
Depicts how a woman U.S. marshal at a frigid station in Antarctica is tested on many levels by a murder case.
Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat - Spirituality and Practice
It has a great cast, an original thriller setting, and a compelling concept, and yet the central mystery is surprisingly limp.
Mike McGranaghan - Aisle Seat
Those worried this means Beckinsale will be wearing parkas and snowsuits the entire time will be pleased they still figure a way to showcase her in her underwear within the first 5 minutes
Willie Waffle - WaffleMovies.com
Parental Content Review
Jim Judy - Screen It!
John Frizzel's over-worked soundtrack keeps telling us how exciting everything is, but it feels as if we're frozen in time. Not so much a white-out as wipe-out.
Nigel Floyd - Time Out
Apart from a lascivious shot of his scantily clad star, director Dominic Sena keeps the action fairly swift under blizzard-like conditions: at times we seem to be watching people fight inside a snow globe.
Anthony Quinn - Independent
Its worst offense is assuming the audience is so dumb that it'll be shocked by one of the most telegraphed endings in movie history. On second thought, maybe the filmmakers got their wish: Whiteout is shocking, shockingly bad.
Randy Myers - San Jose Mercury News
This generic snowbound thriller desperately wants to remind you of Insomnia, but it's not worth losing much sleep over.
Alistair Harkness - Scotsman
The sub-standard work from everyone involved means that Whiteout is very much a missed opportunity that undoubtedly would have been better left on the comic book page.
Chris Tilly - IGN Movies UK
The script for Whiteout is shockingly boring, centering around a mystery that wouldn't pass a writer's meeting for CSI: Antarctica.
Brian Tallerico - Movie Retriever
Its worst offense is assuming the audience is so dumb that it'll be shocked by one of the most telegraphed endings in movie history.
Randy Myers - Contra Costa Times
A frozen hellhole.
Kurt Loder - MTV
Hobbled by a ruinously slow start, an utter lack of excitement and a twist ending that everyone will see coming, we're left with one of the year's worst.
David Edwards - Daily Mirror [UK]
With plotholes you could drive a snowplough through and as eventful as an Antarctic winter, Whiteout is less a whodunit than a getonwithit.
Elliott Noble - Sky Movies
It's as bad as "I Know What You Did Last Summer", except on ICE!
Jolene Mendez - Entertainment Spectrum
Devoid of personality and full of characters so one-dimensional that they aren't even worth mentioning in this review, Whiteout is a movie that sees no-one emerge with any credit.
Ben Rawson-Jones - Digital Spy
Lacks sufficient thrills, chills and intrigue as it grows into an increasingly ludicrous and inane mess, even if you're willing to suspend your disbelief for 101 minutes.
Avi Offer - NYC Movie Guru
Whiteout has a good premise and a likeable lead, but it goes rapidly downhill and is ultimately disappointing.
Matthew Turner - ViewLondon
A lifeless whodunit, it wastes the mystical setting and the always game Kate Beckinsale on a pedestrian plot that could be set anywhere.
Robert Levin - Film School Rejects
A tolerably entertaining film starring the weather.
Steve Rhodes - Internet Reviews
Whiteout offers nothing to satisfy fans of the comic and nothing to satisfy even the casual filmgoer just looking for diversion or escape from the heat.
Beth Accomando - KPBS.org
Set in Antarctica, but unbelievably boring. I kept hoping for something unexpected to show up, like a killer penguin, but it never did.
- Daily Mail [UK]
We get an irritated Nancy Drew with a flashlight, stomping about in mukluks through a plot with as much clarity as an ice storm at midnight.
Kimberly Gadette - Indie Movies Online
Whiteout conditions don't translate well to the action genre, either. Unless you don't mind watching unidentifiable snow-suited folks grapple in -50C conditions with an also-unidentifiable icepick-wielding murderer as CG ice violently pelts down on them.
Lindsey Ward - Jam! Movies
The first sight the audience gets of the Brit star is her stripping to her undies, pointing her perfectly-shaped rear to the camera then stepping into the shower. It's one of Whiteout's three highlights.
- Sun Online
The mystery grows thick while the ice on which the story elements struggle to survive melts away.
Jules Brenner - Cinema Signals
The screenplay by Jon and Erich Hoeber and Chad and Carey Hayes (too many cooks?) is confusing and leaps huge gaps in logic.
Robert W. Butler - Kansas City Star
A dreadful sleeping pill, marching into production with the best intentions in the world, but coming out the other side a jumbled, incompetent, ludicrously underlined whodunit.
Brian Orndorf - BrianOrndorf.com
We do wish you the best in your future endeavors and that you do manage to find a warmer climate.
Mark Dujsik - Mark Reviews Movies
Whiteout's intriguing setting and storyline would be gripping if Beckinsale's Sherlocking around wasn't so glossed-over, or alternately spoon-fed to the audience.
Tasha Robinson - AV Club
The funniest Antarctic thriller of 2009!!!
Thomas Leupp - Hollywood.com
Perhaps it would have been better if I'd blacked out for most of Whiteout.
Brandon Fibbs - BrandonFibbs.com
.Little more than an extended episode of "C.S.I. Antarctica," "Whiteout" is a film that couldn't be more boring and uninteresting if it tried and if there is one thing that it most certainly doesn't do, it is try.
Peter Sobczynski - eFilmCritic.com
Beckinsale gives a standout performance as the smart and tough female protagonist. You root for her to prevail over the bad guys.
Keith Cohen - Entertainment Spectrum
When serious moments are accompanied again and again by collective widespread laughter from an otherwise well-behaved audience, it is a tell-tale sign that something has gone very wrong in translation from page to screen.
Dustin Putman - DustinPutman.com
...feels like one of those movies that never progressed much beyond the concept stage - yet ended up getting released anyway.
Josh Larsen - LarsenOnFilm
Dull and draining, Whiteout should have been offered under one of these preferable alternate titles -- Washout, or even better, Wornout.
Bill Gibron - Filmcritic.com
The only thing to care about is what lotion Beckinsale uses to make her skin hold up so well in sub-zero temps.
Matt Pais - Metromix.com
The film's been sitting on the shelf for 2 1/2 years; maybe it went bad?
Eric D. Snider - EricDSnider.com
like keeping a refrigerator door open, [director Dominic Sena] lets out all the fear and suspense.
Peter Paras - E! Online
It's a wonder Whiteout isn't in 3D, what with its initial onslaught of in-your-face flying propellers, crashing planes, and a lingering close-up of Kate Beckinsale stripping to her skivvies.
Nick Schager - Slant Magazine
It is a mystery why star Beckinsale...keeps wallowing in junk food genre fare....a might more entertaining than watching snow on your television.
Laura Clifford - Reeling Reviews
An Antarctic-set murder mystery that might have played well on the printed page but emerges as a slushy mess on the screen.
Frank Swietek - One Guy's Opinion
An adequate thriller - complete with scares, red herrings and a nonsensical twist-ending %u2013 which exploits its Antarctic surroundings for all their worth.
Joe Lozito - Big Picture Big Sound
The mystery is not mysterious, the action is not exciting, and the suspense is more like boredom.
Jeffrey M. Anderson - Combustible Celluloid
All we're given is a lukewarm mystery where frustrating plot holes give way to lackulster conclusions, and even the most furious CGI snowstorms can't obscure the film's telegraphed "twist."
Rick Mele - AskMen.com
If you want the real Whiteout experience, just read the book. Or ask the manager of your local 7-Eleven if you can play Clue in the beer cooler.
Alonso Duralde - MSNBC
Oh, the squandering! It's like setting a story on Mars and then pretending we're just out in the Arizona desert.
MaryAnn Johanson - Flick Filosopher
One must assume that Rucka's original [graphic novel] is better than this, but only because most things are.
Mark Keizer - Boxoffice Magazine
Absurdities are to be expected in "genre" filmmaking, but disbelief can only be suspended so far.
Jordan Hoffman - UGO