Family Guy

Family Guy

Family Guy - Season 7 Episodes

Family Guy - Season 7

Family Guy - Season 7

FAMILY GUY is back for more adventures of the lovable oaf Peter Griffin and his hilariously odd family of middle-class New Englanders! During the seventh season, Lois gets a job working for FOX News and Peter has to go back to third grade in order to qualify for a work promotion. Meanwhile, Stewie creates a time machine, and he and Brian travel back to Poland during World War II.

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Episode 0

Creating the Chaos

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Episode 0

The Story So Far...

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Episode 1

Love Blactually

Dissatisfied with his current love life, Brian decides to slow things down when he meets the girl of his dreams, Carolyn. However, Cleveland soon sweeps Carolyn off her feet, and Brian must do anything he can do, to win her back, even if it means involving Cleveland's ex-wife, Loretta.

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Episode 2

I Dream of Jesus

While attending a 1950s-themed restaurant, Peter hears his favorite song, "Surfin' Bird", on the jukebox. One of the employees removes the record because it's a 1960s song and thus wouldn't exist in the '50s, so Peter offers to trade Meg (directing him to an attractive, unrelated woman) for sex in exchange for it. He begins driving everyone crazy by endlessly playing and singing to it, and even squanders the family's savings to make a public service announcement where he can do so on TV. Before they completely lose their minds, Stewie and Brian steal the record in Peter's sleep. The next morning, Peter blames the family for the record's disappearance — Stewie and Brian had smashed it à la Office Space — before going out in an attempt to buy another copy. The clerk at the record store tells Peter they have sold all 63 copies at once (to "a dog and a baby"; the past three stores said the same thing) before Peter notices that the clerk looks familiar, ultimately realizing he is Jesus Christ.

Jesus explains that he comes to Earth every century or so to unwind, but that he must also try to keep a low profile. Peter encourages Jesus to socialize and invites him over for dinner with his family, who also recognize him as the messiah (Brian only seems convinced when Jesus turns their dinner into sundaes and engorges Lois' breasts to triple their normal size, the latter at Peter's insistence). Jesus has such a great time with the Griffins that he decides to make his second coming. At first no one seems to notice him, but when Peter loses a dollar in the wind and it lands in a public fountain, Jesus retrieves it by walking on the surface of the water in front of everyone, amazing them.

The word that Jesus has returned begins spreading when he starts appearing on The Tonight Show and the MTV Music Video Awards, and he becomes a celebrity. He is caught up in his newfound popularity that he begins to neglect his friendship with Peter, sending all his cell phone calls to voice mail, prompting Peter to use Lois' cellphone (whom Jesus has no problem answering) to complain. Soon Jesus gets arrested after a drinking binge and ending up unconscious at Mary-Kate Olsen's house before making anti-Semitic comments. Jesus asks Peter for bail; Peter only heads over to the police station when Jesus makes a lamp in Peter's living room smash into Peter's head. With Jesus in disrepute, he decides that maybe he wasn't mature enough to return to the world, but Peter remarks that the maturity of his statement might mean the day he'll be ready may not be too far off. Before he leaves this world, Jesus gives Peter a present: another record of "Surfin' Bird" to annoy his family with. Appropriately, the end credits roll with "Surfin' Bird" playing in the background.

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Episode 3

Road to Germany

Mort Goldman accidentally steps into Stewie's time machine and goes back in time to 1939 Poland, and Brian and Stewie follow to retrieve him. When they find him, the Nazis invade and Mort is taken to Germany, where Stewie and Brian must go to save him, as well as find a way back to the present.

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Episode 4

Baby Not On Board

Peter wins a year of unlimited gas and takes the family on a road trip, but someone gets left behind.

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Episode 5

The Man with Two Brians

Realizing that Brian may be getting old, Peter gets a newer, happier dog who the Griffins love, prompting Brian to leave. But things go awry when the "new Brian" crosses the line and humps Stewie's favorite toy.

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Episode 6

Tales of a Third Grade Nothing

Peter's boss Angela sends him back to the third grade so that he can qualify for a work promotion. Meanwhile, Brian, Frank Sinatra Jr. and Stewie open the coolest club in Quahog.

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Episode 7

Ocean's Three and a Half

Bonnie finally gives birth to a daughter named Susie. Stewie falls in love, and is willing to do anything to win her heart. Meanwhile, Joe is in debt to a bookie for $20,000 to pay for Bonnie's medical bills, and plans to pay it off by stealing from Carter Pewterschmidt.

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Episode 8

Family Gay

"Family Gay" is the eighth episode of the seventh season of the animated television comedy series Family Guy. It originally aired on Fox in the United States on March 8, 2009. In the episode, Peter Griffin purchases a brain damaged horse who ends up causing a great deal of collateral damage at the horse racing track. In order to pay for the damage, Peter decides to participate in a series of medical drug testing including one that makes him gay. He enters a relationship with another gay man called Scott, leaving his wife Lois and rest of the family heartbroken. After Stewie and Brian enroll Peter in straight camp, Lois breaks Peter out, deciding that Peter's happiness is more important than his sexuality. Almost immediately afterwards, the gay gene wears off and Peter moves back in with his family.

The episode was written by Richard Appel and directed by series regular Brian Iles. Seth Rogen provided a guest-voice as Peter under the effects of the "Seth Rogen gene" and Meredith Baxter provided a guest voice as herself. It received both positive and negative comments from television sources and critics, in addition to receiving criticism from the Parents Television Council. "Family Gay", along with two other episodes, was nominated in the "Outstanding Comedy Series" category for the 2009 61st Primetime Emmy Awards.

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Episode 9

The Juice is Loose!

Peter finds an old winning raffle ticket from 1989 that entitles him a golf outing with O.J. Simpson. After befriending him, Peter brings O.J. home home to meet the family. However, the people of Quahog aren't too fond of the former running back.

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Episode 10

FOX-y Lady

Lois gets a job working for FOX News and has to do a report on a liberal filmmaker. However, she loses the job when her story implicates a conservative radio host.

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Episode 11

Not All Dogs Go to Heaven

Meg becomes extremely religious, and tries to convert Brian from Atheism. Meanwhile, after the family visits a Star Trek convention, Stewie kidnaps the entire cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation and forces them to hang out with him.

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Episode 12


After Brian is arrested for drug possession, he launches a campaign to legalize marijuana. Mayor West passes the law, and the whole town goes to pot. However, Carter Pewterschmidt starts losing money as a result, so he does whatever it takes to get pot banned once again.

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Episode 13


Stewie starts going to the gym with Peter after he gets beaten up by Joe's baby daughter Susie, but just when it seems that his hard work is paying off, Peter reveals that he's been giving him an anabolic steroid. Meanwhile, Chris begins dating a popular girl at school, only to see her popularity subside.

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Episode 14

We Love You, Conrad

After drowning his sorrows when he learns his ex-girlfriend Jillian is getting married, Brian discovers that he has hooked up with The Hills star Lauren Conrad. Brian wants out of the relationship until he realizes that Conrad may be the perfect match for him, if only he is willing to let Jillian go.

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Episode 15

Three Kings

Peter learns from a psychic through a palm reading that he had a fascinating past life in the 17th century as Griffin Peterson, a dignified English gentleman who vied for the love of Lady Redbush in the newly founded American colony of Quahog.

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Episode 16

Peter's Progress

Peter has a psychic palm reading and discovers he led a past life as Griffin Peterson, a dignified gentleman who followed the beautiful Lady Redbush from 17th century England, where the fierce King Stewart III reigned supreme, to the newly founded American colony of Quahog to win her heart.

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