The hilarity continues with Season Nine of the smash-hit comedy series as Phoebe is confronted with some tough romantic choices between new boyfriend Mike (Paul Rudd) and old David (Hank Azaria), Rachel tackles motherhood and Monica and Chandler become "inspired" to start their own family.
Joey tries to tell Rachel that he didn't really propose, but can't get a moment alone with her. Phoebe gets involved but that just confuses things. Joey tries to keep Ross away from Rachel until he can straighten it out. Monica and Chandler continue trying to get pregnant; Mr. Geller discovers them having sex in the janitor's closet and is mortified, until he learns that they're trying to conceive; then he's so enthusiastic he starts giving them advice, and Monica is mortified. Joey, Ross, and Rachel finally straighten out that no one was going to propose; Ross was just planning to ask Rachel if they could start up their relationship again. Everything is just about smoothed out when Ross realizes that Rachel is wearing the ring, and therefore must have said yes to Joey.
The gang has a welcome-home party for Rachel. When Emma sleeps, Rachel misses her, so she wakes her up. Nothing can get her back to sleep. Chandler, nervous about a big meeting, has missed a night of sleep, and falls asleep in the meeting. At the end, he wakes up just in time to unknowingly agree to move to Tulsa, Oklahoma. Monica won't agree to it, but management won't let him off the hook. Ross is still angry with Joey for being engaged (even if by accident) to Rachel. Joey tries to get Ross to punch him, but then ducks and Ross hits a post, breaking his thumb. Joey continues causing additional injuries to Ross. Joey doesn't understand the "quotes" gesture. "SuperMonica" finally gets Emma to go back to sleep.
Chandler and Monica announce their plans to move to Oklahoma. Monica contacts a restaurant head-hunter to see if there's a chef position in Tulsa, and ends up getting a great offer for a position in New York. She decides to take it, so Chandler arranges to spend just 4 days a week in Tulsa. Joey can't get over the fact that Emma's pediatrician is named Dr. Weiner. Phoebe and Joey agree to set each up with dates; Joey forgets, but lies that he's set her up with someone named Mike; then he has to find someone to fit the bill. Phoebe finds out the truth and leaves, but later Mike finds her at the coffee house and they arrange to go out again. Rachel abuses Emma's pediatrician too much, so she has to find a new one; she goes to Ross's old pediatrician (Dr. Gettleman) only to discover that "Rossy" still goes there, as well.
Ross points out that Phoebe's never been in a long term relationship, which freaks her out just as she leaves on a date with Mike. Ross tracks down Mike later to explain why Phoebe was so disturbed, but just makes things worse with a fictional story about a six-year relationship she had. Chandler has to stay the weekend in Tulsa, so Monica flies there to surprise him. He's watching porn when she arrives, but he changes the channel quickly, which makes her think he gets off to shark documentaries. Joey meets a hot woman (Hayley) and starts dating her, but he recognizes her apartment and thinks he's slept with her before. She obviously doesn't remember it so he finally confronts her about it, only to find out he previously dated her roommate.
Phoebe plans a special dinner out for her birthday, and all the gang plans to come. However, only she and Joey make it on time. Monica and Chandler are late because they fight over the fact that he's started smoking again; and because she's ovulating and wants to conceive. Rachel and Ross are late because they lock themselves out of their apartment while Emma's inside; and their babysitter (Mrs. Geller) is late. Ross uses a lot of antiquated phrases, and Monica has the breasts of a greek goddess (according to Phoebe). Joey struggles with hunger, but in the end gets to eat everyone's food.
Monica's excitement about her new place of work doesn't really phase Chandler, until she mentions that one of her co-workers (Jeffery) is the funniest guy she's ever met. Chandler tries to prove he's funnier. Phoebe and Mike take the next step in their relationship, by exchanging apartment keys. Then Phoebe's old flame, David (The Scientist Guy), comes to town from Minsk for a few days, putting Phoebe's emotions in conflict. Rachel and Ross hire a male nanny (Sandy) to care for Emma, but he's too sensitive for Ross's comfort. Joey learns life lessons from the nanny's puppet shows.
Ross makes Emma laugh for the first time, by singing "Baby Got Back," which offends Rachel (until she finds she can't make Emma laugh any other way). Joey contemplates investing in an Emu farm, but Monica says he should invest in real estate, and suggests her ex-boyfriend Richard's apartment, which is up for sale. While Joey and Chandler look over Richard's apartment, Chandler finds (and steals) a video tape with Monica's name on it, worried about what might be on it. Chandler confirms that it's a sex tape, and Monica tries to calm him down, until she realizes that it's not her on the tape; then she's upset that Richard taped over her. Phoebe goes to dinner at Mike's parents place, and makes a terrible impression; but learns that Mike loves her.
Chandler convinces Monica to use the good china dishes for Thanksgiving. Joey forgets he's supposed to be in the Thanksgiving parade with the rest of the Days of Our Lives cast, so Phoebe teaches him how to lie to his producer. Rachel's other sister (Amy) shows up unexpectedly for Thanksgiving and is upset when she finds out Chandler and Monica get Emma if Ross and Rachel die. And Chandler is upset that he only gets Emma if Monica is alive. Amy can't get Emma's or Phoebe's names right, carelessly insults everyone, and in general drives everyone crazy.
Joey gets Knicks tickets for himself and Chandler, but Chandler wants to be with Monica. He tells Joey that he has to stay in Tulsa, but when Joey finds Monica preparing for a night of seduction, he thinks she's having an affair. Rachel (in a dress that really shows off her assets) goes out with Phoebe for a night on the town. Meanwhile, Ross and Mike hang out together but find they have nothing interesting to talk about. Rachel gives out her phone number to a guy and then regrets it later, worried about it interfering in her possibilities with Ross. She and Phoebe try to get home before the guy calls for her. Ross gets the call anyway, but doesn't tell Rachel.
Chandler has to spend Christmas in Tulsa to get paperwork done, and realizes he's the only one in his group of Friends who hates his job. He remembers past Christmases in a series of flashbacks from earlier Christmas episodes, and decides to send his subordinates home. One (Wendy) stays behind. Monica is not comfortable with Chandler working alone with her. He believes she has nothing to worry about, until Wendy makes a pass at him. He turns her down, professing his love for Monica. She asks why he's not with his wife on Christmas, which prompts a series of flashbacks about his relationship with Monica; also prompting him to quit his job and return to New York.
Monica helps Chandler consider what careers he's interested in. He choses advertising, and Monica arranges a meeting with a friend (Steve) in the business. Joey gets Phoebe a job doing extra work on Days Of Our Lives, but she takes her characters a little too seriously. Ross and Rachel take Emma into Ralph Lauren to meet the staff. While there, Rachel discovers that her temporary replacement (Gavin) it determined to take over her job permanently, so she returns to work immediately. He turns out to be a little nicer than expected. Chandler gets offered an unpaid internship at Steve's agency, which might mean he and Monica need to postpone having a child for a while.
Ross and Rachel have a new nanny (Molly), who is hot. Ross tells Joey not to go after her, which just makes him want her more. Mike discovers that Phoebe has a rat in her apartment, which she treats as a pet (or rather, as an occasional visitor for whom she puts out food). Then they discover that the rat has had babies. Mike mistakenly kills the rat, and Phoebe feels they are responsible to raise the orphans. Rachel continues to fight with her co-worker, Gavin; Monica invites him to Rachel's birthday party. Gavin comes over at the end of the party and makes a move on Rachel; they kiss. Ross is upset when he sees them his apartment, as he's cleaning up after the baby. Molly turns out to be gay.
Ross is upset that Rachel kissed Gavin, but is hesitant to talk with her about it. Rachel is worried that it was the wrong thing to do, and unsure about her relationship with Ross, but is hesitant to talk with him about it. Ross tries to move on; he hits on every woman around,and hooks up with a weird one (Michelle). When Ross and Rachel finally do talk, it's all negative, and Rachel decides to move back in with Joey for a while. Joey needs new head shots, and his photographer advises him to get his eyebrows waxed. The pain is too much, so he only gets one done. Chandler helps him out by doing the other one, with suprising skill. Even so, Joey looks really strange. Phoebe and Monica go to Mike's piano bar where the patrons sing. She decides to perform; the crowd really loves her, because the spotlight makes her shirt transparent.
Phoebe and Joey set up Rachel on Ross on terrible blind dates, in hopes that they'll realize by comparison how good they are together. Joey arranges for Ross to be stood up, and Phoebe arranges for Rachel to go out with Steve (the Stoned Guy). Monica and Chandler take care of Emma; when she falls asleep, they go into the bedroom to try to make a baby of their own. Joey comes into the apartment and Emma wakes up, so he takes her to his place. Once they return from the bedroom and discover Emma is gone, they panic. Joey tries to get someone to name their first child Joey, to carry on his "family name."
Chandler gets an internship in advertising. At first his age seems to be a problem, relative to all the young college kids. But his age and experience gives him a perspective that serves him well, even in marketing products to teenagers. Joey gets a audition for a broadway play; at first he's terrible, but later (when he really needs to go to the bathroom) his nervous energy impresses the producers and star, and he gets the part. Phoebe and Ross get mugged, but it turns out Phoebe knows the mugger from her days on the streets, when she occassionally mugged people, too. This reminds Ross of the time he was mugged as a child; Phoebe realizes she was the one who mugged him all those years ago. He's very upset about it, until she returns his childhood home-made comic book, "Science Boy."
Chandler and Monica are a little short on funds, due to Chandler's lack of a paying job. Each individually asks Joey for a loan, swearing him to secrecy. When Chandler notices that Joey recently wrote a large check to Monica, Joey covers by saying it's for breast implants. Phoebe and Mike decide to live together; Phoebe gets excited about the possibilities in their future, including marriage. Then she learns that due to his first failed marriage, Mike never wants to get married again. They decide they want different things, and end their relationship. Rachel buys equipment to baby-proof the apartment, but has to hire a handyman to install it. Then Joey can't get past the baby protection devices.
Ross and Chandler post bogus information about each other on their college's alumni web site. It escalates until Chandler posts that Ross has died, and Ross arranges a memorial service to see who comes. Emma grows attached to Joey's stuffed toy penguin, Hugsy. He gets another one so he can have the original back, but Emma doesn't go for it. Phoebe and Mike struggle with their break-up, and are drawn back together.
Everyone decides to pool some money and buy lottery tickets, except Ross, the lottery skeptic. Rachel and Ross, expecting Emma to start talking soon, eliminate offensive words from their conversation and start calling each other "Mommy" and "Daddy." Chandler waits for news about whether his internship will turn into a permanent assistant's position. The open positions get filled and he's depressed about not getting chosen, until he learns that he's being offered a better position - Junior Copywriter. Phoebe, frightened by a pigeon, accidentally drops the lottery tickets off the balcony, and half are lost. But they still win... three dollars.
Joey needs inspiration for his love scenes on Days of our Lives, and uses his past love for Rachel as a source of motivation. It touches Rachel and gives her something to think about. Chandler plans a romantic weekend away, but Monica has to work. He can't get a refund on the room, so he and Ross go there to spend the weekend, and try to take enough hotel amenities to make the money back. Phoebe, hearing that Monica has guests standing in line outside her restaurant, decides to play her music there. This stresses their relationship a bit more than either can bear. Ross gets sugar highs from maple candy.
Rachel continues to struggle with her feelings for Joey. Joey gives the gang tickets to a one-woman play (Why Don't You Like Me?) to get rid of them while he has a party for his Soap Opera buddies, on the roof. Everyone finds out and comes to his party, except Chandler, who gets stuck at the play, watching a bitter woman complain about life. Ross meets a beautful new professor (Charlie) and they hit it off really well. He brings her to Joey's party, but hesitates to make a move because he's intimidated by her past romantic interests, all Nobel Prize winners. Rachel decides to go after Joey, but then she finds him making out with Charlie, which spoils her plans and Ross's. Chandler tricks Monica and Phoebe into going to the play.
Ross struggles with the conflict between his own interest in Charlie and Joey's desire to impress her. He coaches Joey on doing and saying things that she'll appreciate. Rachel has a gift certificate for a free massage at a big corporate massage chain; Phoebe makes her promise not to go. She goes anyway, and discovers that Phoebe works there. Monica and Chandler go in for fertility testing and bump into Janice. Later, the doctor calls and tells Chandler that he and Monica both have fertility problems.
Joey arranges for a reluctant Rachel to help Charlie shop for some new clothes. Phoebe comes along as well, and Charlie overhears Phoebe and Rachel talk about Rachel's feelings for Joey; but Charlie thinks it was Phoebe who has feelings for him. Phoebe is invited to a party which Mike will also be attending, and stresses about looking great but pretending to be over him. But on her way, she runs into her old flame, David (the Scientist guy), and changes her plans. Ross has a chance to be the keynote speaker at a Paleontology convention in Barbados; when he's making his pitch to the deciding professor, it puts him to sleep. Chandler and Monica visit their Doctor about reproductive options, and begin searching for a sperm donor. Chandler invites a likely but unsuspecting candidate (Zack) to dinner, and he gets a little creeped out by the odd questions Chandler and Monica are asking. In the end they decide to adopt.
The gang (including Phoebe's boyfriend, David) travel to Barbados for Ross and Charlie's conference. The constant rain prevents most of the gang from enjoying their time on the island. David is worried he can't compare to Mike; Chandler tells him Mike's failing was that he was against marriage, so David decides to propose to Phoebe. Monica, knowing Phoebe is still hung up on Mike, tries to undo Chandler's meddling with some of her own, and calls Mike asking him to step up. Chandler accidentally erases Ross's keynote speech, so Ross and Charlie stay up all night together to rebuild it, while Rachel and Joey have fun crashing the neighboring pharmaceutical convention. Ross and Charlie learn that they have a lot of fun together, and a lot in common -- including ex-es who turned out to be gay. Rachel is about to tell Joey how she feels about him, but they're interrupted. David begins to propose to Phoebe, but Mike shows up and proposes first. Phoebe says no, but gets back together with him, knowing that now they can have a future together.
The weather in Barbados is finally nice, but only during Ross's speech. Rachel and Joey giggle over the term "Homo-Erectus." After the speech, while it rains again, Monica and Mike get into a ping-pong match and their competitive sides really take over. Monica hurts her hand, so Chandler finishes for her -- and wins. Joey and Charlie realize they don't have anything in common, and break up. Joey learns of Rachel's feelings for him, but doesn't feel he can do anything about it because of Ross. Meanwhile, Ross and Charlie spend more time together, and realize their feelings for each other. They kiss; Joey sees them, and decides not to let Ross stand between himself and Rachel. He returns and kisses her.