Late Show with David Letterman - Season 9 Episodes
“Will Ferrell, Tom Dreesen”
Dave announces that instead of "whatever," from now on he will be saying "wherever"; during a segment called "While We Were Out," the male staff members commemorate a minor design change on the stage by sitting in Dave's chair buck naked; Will Ferrell makes a threating message in song to Barbra Streisand.
“Bob Newhart, Maxwell”
“National Hollerin' Champions, Julia Stiles, Habib Koite & Bamada”
“Brooke Shields, John McEnroe, Joe Henry”
“Eric Kraff, Goran Ivanisevic”
Dave points out that Tony Mendez is mentioned in this week's "Talk of the Town" column in The New Yorker. Later, Jude Brennan makes her last appearance as the bitchy "Mrs. Letterman."
“Jason Biggs, Daniel Tosh, Etta James”
“Charles Grodin, Michael Franti & Spearhead”
“Sarah Jessica Parker, John Witherspoon”
Mayor Guiliani interrupts Dave's monologue; Sarah Jessica Parker promotes "Sex & the City."
“Helen Fielding, Al Lubel”
“Tom Arnold, Brandi Chastain, Ralph Stanley & The Whites”
“David Schwimmer, Bjork”
“Carson Daly, US Marine Corps”
“Tim Robbins, Amy Sedaris, Jimmy Eat World”
“Eugene Levy, Rich Hall”
“Dan Rather, Regis Philbin”
In the first show following the terrorist destruction of the World Trade Center, Dave welcomes CBS anchorman Dan Rather and Regis Philbin.
“Bryant Gumbel, Denis Leary, Tori Amos”
“Matthew Broderick, John Miller, Odetta & The Boys Choir of Harlem”
“Walter Cronkite, Will Ferrell, Jewel”
“Merideth Viera, Stephen Ambrose, Sheryl Crow, Emmylou Harris, and Gillian Welch”
“Rudolph Giuliani, Katie Harmon”
Dave welcomes national hero Rudy Guiliani to the show for the first time since the WTC disaster.
“Marcia Gay Harden, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Pete Yorn”
“Thomas Von Essen, Ben Stiller, Tenacious D”
“Hillary Clinton, Cast of '42nd Street'”
“Jason Alexander, Don Zimmer, Wyclef Jean”
“Elton John, Steve Zahn”
“Kate Beckinsale, Chris Kattan, Sarah Harmer”
“John Cusack, Grant Paulsen, Joe Strummer”
During "What's the Deal With Old Guys and Enormous Glasses?" Dave wears a 70's-era pair of specs; John Cusack promotes Serendipity.
“Owen Wilson, Lisa Ling, Ryan Adams”
Paul composes a song about people that look like Burt Reynolds; Owen Wilson plugs Zoolander.
“Joshua Jackson, Tiki Barber, Emo Phillips”
Alan gives dating tips; Joshua Jackson promotes the upcoming season premiere of "Dawson's Creek;" Emo Philips does a stand-up routine on Dave's show for the first time since 1989.
“Farrah Fawcett, Tina Fey, Garbage”
“Tom Cavanagh, Steve Hartman, Leona Naess”
“Nathan Lane, Cokie Roberts”
“Bruce Willis, Cody Arens, Alicia Keys”
Out of the blue, Dave compliments the New York State Police, but Paul smells a rat. Dave claims he wasn't pulled over again. Meanwhile, Bruce Willis plays "drums" with his head and 7-year-old child actor Cody Arens plugs Riding in Cars with Boys.
“Rose McGowen, Sarah Vowell, Jim Gaffigan”
“Steve Kroft, Bruce McCall, John Mellencamp”
“Jack Hannah, Justin Long, Daniel Rodriguez”
“Ethan Hawke, Judith Miller, Quincy Jones”
“John McCain, Brittany Murphy, Macy Gray”
“Kevin Kline, Richard Holbrooke, Caroline Rhea”
“David Hyde Pierce, U2”
“David Spade, Marv Albert, Laurie Anderson”
“Kevin Spacey, Amy Sedaris”
“Tom Brokaw, Gene Catron”
“John Travolta, Harland Williams”
“Jack Black, Tony Bennett”
“Billy Crystal, Brittany Spears”
“Marge Helgenberger, Gil de Ferran, Lyle Lovett”
“Stupid Pet Tricks, Vince Vaughn, Faith Evans”
“Richard Dreyfus, Brett Butler”
“Martin Lawrence, Natalie Merchant”
“Barbara Walters, David Radcliffe, Natalie Merchant”
“Harry Connick Jr., Bernie Mac”
“Steve Martin, Earl Scruggs”
“Richard Harris, George Carlin”
“Kevin James, Deion Sanders”
“Julia Roberts, Shelby Lynne”
“Jenna Elfman, Kid Rock”
“David Sedaris, Five for Fighting”
“Ray Romano, Mitch Hedberg”
“Kelly Ripa, Mort Sahl”
“George Clooney, Martha Stewart”
“Noah Wyle, George Miller, Carole King”
“Julia Stiles, Jeff Gordon”
“Jada Pinkett Smith, Thomas Friedman”
“Ellen DeGeneres, Dave Gorman, Kelly Goldsmith”
“Mariah Carey, Elijah Wood, Stereophonics”
“Andy Garcia, Chris Matthews”
“Kid Scientists, Liv Tyler, Cake”
“Michelle Pfeiffer, Dennis Regan”
“Meg Ryan, Diana Krall”
“Kevin Spacey, Jerome Bettis, Jane Monheit”
“Jamie Foxx, Rhys Ifans, Darlene Love”
“Marisa Tomei, Lenny Kravitz”
“Peter Jennings, Tom Ryan”
“Ian McKellan, Phil Simms”
“Rudolph Giuliani, P.O.D.”
“Lauren Graham, Eddie Brill”
“Gwyneth Paltrow, Starsailor”
“Cate Blanchett, Timothy Treadwell”
“Jennifer Connelly, Colin Soloway”
What's "New for the Office" in 2002? The items Dave introduces include a Jack Daniels water cooler and a color printer that makes flapjacks. Also, throughout the night, various people walk onstage and gripe about Dave in French, Turkish, Russian and Japanese.
“Jack Black, Foo Fighters”
“Tom Cruise, Tom Papa”
“Ethan Zohn, Josh Hartnett, Remy Zero”
“Cuba Gooding Jr., Jewel”
“David Brenner, Howie Long, Jewel”
“Cynthia Nixon, Mario Andretti, Willie Nelson & Rob Thomas”
“Darrell Hammond, Elayne Boosler, Willie Nelson & Lyle Lovett”
“Jimmy Kimmell, Julie Bowen, Cracker”
“Bruce Willis, Ivan Neville”
“Tim Russert, Jason Schwartzman”
“Merv Griffin, Phantom Planet”
“Regis Philbin, Steven Wright”
“LL Cool J, John McEnroe”
“Amy Brenneman, Martin Rees, Shakira”
Disgraced Enron CEO "Kenneth Lay" sits in with the band, and is later seen shredding songsheets.
“Adam Vinatieri, Chris Matthews”
“Mariska Harkitay, George Divoky, Alan Jackson”
“Andy Richter, Jake Johannsen”
“Janet Jackson, Enrique Iglesias”
Stephanie makes her first report from Salt Lake City, in which she shows Dave a photo of her watching the opening ceremonies on TV; Dave can't stop staring at Janet Jackson's revealing outfit; Enrique Iglesias sings "Escape."
“Denis Leary, India.Arie”
“Kelly Clark, Jeri Ryan”
“Calista Flockhart, Incubus”
“Colin Farrell, Colin Quinn”
“Ross Powers, Mila Kunis”
“Casey FitzRandolph, Ashleigh Banfield”
“Simon Ammann, Kevin Bacon”
“Halle Berry, Jonny Moseley”
“Richard Dreyfuss, Jeff Foxworthy”
“Jill Bakken and Vonnetta Flowers, Kelsey Grammer, Alanis Morissette”
“Martin Short, Jack Hanna”
“Stupid Human Tricks, Cher”
In honor of his recent nomination, Paul and the gang participate in a Grammy-themed edition of "Stump the Band;" during "Stupid Human Tricks," a fourteen-year-old girl performs "Feliz Navidad" with her nose; Cher sings "Song for the Lonely."
“Tom Arnold, Nappy Roots”
“Cokie Roberts, Al Lubel”
“Ray Romano, Jason Kidd”
“Regis Philbin, Andie MacDowell, Evelyn Glennie”
“Rene Russo, Bob Sarlatte, The Chieftains”
“John McCain, The White Stripes”
Dave mentions that Paul has been keeping himself busy, as he performed not only at this year's Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremonies, but also at the much-ballyhooed Liza Minelli-David Gest wedding; Dave continues to gloat over his Aftonbladet award, which he nonchalantly drinks from Stanley Cup-style; The White Stripes perform "Fell In Love With a Girl."
“Jon Stewart, Kit Armstrong”
Dave asks Paul to play some Gene Pitney; the "Late Show Psychic Test Drive" finds Rupert driving Deborah Lynn around the city in a 2001 Chevy Malibu; Dave chats with boy genius Kit Armstrong.
“Bonnie Hunt, N.E.R.D.”
Dave and Paul discuss the vernal equinox and the old wives tale that you're supposed to be able to stand an egg on its end at the moment of the equinox; Dave mentions that "Will It Float" is quickly becoming a fan favorite, then correctly predicts that a half-gallon of strawberry ice cream will float; N.E.R.D. performs "Rock Star."
“Adam Arkin, Amy Sedaris, Midnight Oil”
Alan reports on what everybody was wearing at last night's Oscars (all the men wore tuxedos), while Adam Arkin promotes the critically-disdained sitcom Baby Bob.
“Barbara Walters, Shannon McNally”
Dave shows a (bogus) clip of the upcoming Baby Bob spin-off "Baby Jacques," which is just like the original show except everybody speaks in a French accent; a proud tradition continues as a Hello Deli customer goes on a Easter meatball hunt; Alan apologizes for his comments toward Gwyneth Paltrow on last night's show, then inadvertently insults Uma Thurman.
“Peter Krause, Doris Kearns Goodwin”
Eric Burdon of The Animals sits in; during the "Odd Catalogs" segment, Dave displays an ad for a "Government-seized and repossessed hairpiece blowout"; the Hi-Ho girls deliver a birthday cake to Tony; Doris Kearns Goodwin addresses rumors of plagiarism.
“Robin Williams, Sevendust”
Biff shows footage of him harassing New Yorkers with a bullhorn; the New York National Guard presents the Top Ten; Sevendust (featuring Paul) performs "Angel's Son."
“Andy Dick, Mike Britt”
Mailbag: Tony's apparent sexiness forces George Clarke to drown his sorrows in a bucket of chicken at KFC; Dave shows off a tattoo on his leg that he wishes he didn't have (the ABC logo); after learning that Alan makes more money than him, Tony meets George at KFC.
“Marv Albert, Charlotte Ross”
Acid jazz legend Herbie Hancock sits in on keyboards; Dave orders Steph/Monty to buy French fries; Marv Albert shows off another one of his blooper reels.
“Tim Robbins, Jimmie Walker, Cast of Oklahoma”
During the latest Celebrity X-Ray Challenge, Dave persuades Rupert to lip sync a song from Oklahoma!
“Michael J. Fox, Patti Smith”
After Dave notices that Alan bears a slight resemblance to Fred MacMurray, the announcer and a Barbara Stanwyck stand-in recreate a scene from Double Indemnity. Also, Patti Smith sings "Dancing Barefoot."
“Selma Blair, Dick Enberg”
Biff introduces footage from his latest trip to Yankees Spring Training in Florida, while a fully-packed suitcase is subjected to "Will It Float?"
“Bob Newhart, Demetri Martin”
Will Lee stands in for Biff on pin duty, and for his troubles he receives the tradition gift of Samsonite® luggage; during Mailbag, two "girl scouts" (Harold Larkin and Mike McIntee) destroy Paul's office for being behind on his cookie payments; ten members of the Coast Guard present the Top Ten.
“Rosie Perez, George Miller”
In honor of his departure from The Early Show; Dave shows footage of moving men with cardboard boxes superimposed over Bryant Gumbel talking in mid-broadcast; "Survivor: Marquesas" also-ran Gina Crews demonstrates her talent for spitting watermelon seeds; George Miller brags that his grandfather invented the handshake.
Dave models a hideous pair of glasses he found in his house; a woman from Portland, Oregon rides around in Al Norwood's 2001 Honda S2000; Dave tries to get Attorney General John Ashcroft to sing, but only does so during the commercial breaks.
“Sandra Bullock, Billy Norris, Sheryl Crow”
After his reluctance to sing on last night's show, Dave is appalled to find US Attorney General John Ashcroft crooning "When The Eagles Soars" on TRL; Alan impersonates Fred MacMurray again; Sheryl Crow sings "Soak Up The Sun."
“Dee Dee Davis, Cameron Diaz, The Strokes”
Dave receives another comedy class project from Miss Markey's Kindergarten class, while The Strokes perform "Take It or Leave It."
“Matthew Conaughey, John Witherspoon”
Dave receives an unexpected birthday greeting from Osama Bin Laden; CBS Mailbag is interrupted to that the Hi-Ho girls can bring out Daddy's cake; ten Air Force pilots present the Top Ten.
“Ashton Kutcher, Oliver Atukudzi”
Dave mentions that he bumped his head over the weekend, then comments on the recent drought in NYC.
“Landon Shuffett, Seth Green, Elvis Costello”
Dave mentions that Saddam Hussein's novel Zabibah and the King was been turned into a musical, and then shows a (bogus) promo for it's upcoming debut in Baghdad; seven-year-old billiards trick shot artist Landon Shuffett blows Dave away by shooting a row of thirteen balls into the corner pocket; Elvis Costello performs "Tear Off Your Own Head (It's A Doll Revolution)."
“Tiffani Thiessen, Bill Walton, Bonnie Raitt”
Dave mentions Paul's appearance on tonight's episode of Ed, and shortly afterwards Paul wears the fake mustache he had to wear for the role; Alan and the Barbara Stanwyck look-alike perform another scene from Double Indemnity; Bonnie Raitt sings "I Can't Help You Now."
“Jessica Alba, Cee Lo Green”
“The Rock, Dwayne Kennedy”
Dave and Paul talk about wrestling in preparation of his interview with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. During CBS Mailbag, "Mayor Bloomberg" (Gerard) offers Dave some pot, and Alan Kalter promotes the video "Osama Gone Wild."
“Charlie Sheen, Paul Westerberg”
Dave shows various clips of Ted Danson looked scared/shocked from his recent miniseries Living With the Dead; Dave points out that the Late Show was chosen as the seventh greatest television program of all time; Paul Westerberg performs "Silent Film Star."
“Incredible Dog Challenge, Debra Messing, Wilco”
The Incredible Dog Challenge is finally held out on 53rd Street, and throughout the night three dogs compete through a series of hurdles and tubes.
“Kirsten Dunst, Steve Nash, Angie Stone & The O'Jays”
An "Incredible Cat Challenge" is thwarted when George Clarke's cat won't go through the obstacle course; Kirsten Dunst promotes Spider-Man; after Angie Stone and the O'Jays perform "Wish I Didn't Miss You," the house band closes the show by performing "Love Train."
“Tobey Maquire, Trey Anastasio”
"Biff Henderson's America" visits the hamlet of Denver, Indiana; Dave comments on rumors that Bill Clinton may host a daytime talk show; Tobey Maguire does a really bad Rodney Dangerfield impression.
“Jennifer Garner, Jim Gaffigan”
Mailbag: a letter about having your name mentioned on TV is somehow morphed into a request to see Alan getting the crap beat out of him. Later on in the segment, a letter about tornados has the same result, as an already bloodied Alan is further laid to waste. Also, Michael McIntee does a remote Top Ten from Central Park, while Jim Gaffigan discusses food and cleanliness.
“Mary Tyler Moore, Norah Jones”
The outside cam catches Spider-Man jacking a car; Dave and Mary Tyler Moore play catch; Norah Jones performs "Don't Know Why."
“Richard Gere, Reggie Miller”
Dave moans and groans over his latest dental work; Dave shows (obviously phony) footage of Peter Jennings doing World News Tonight in a Spider-Man costume; Richard Gere makes first appearance on the show since 1983.
“Will Ferrell, Tom Waits”
Dave and Paul take apart wedding announcements in the New York Times; a staffer in a Spider-Man outfit successfully hails a taxi; Will Ferrell tells Dave what it's like to run the NYC marathon.
“Hugh Grant, Tony Hawk”
Skateboarding great Tony Hawk demonstrates his wares out on 53rd Street.
“Gillian Andersen, Jonathan Katz”
With Biff on vacation, Steph/Monty handles the pushpins live via telephone; during Mailbag, Paul demonstrates a hidden talent for cartwheels, and then mysteriously disappears; a Mother's Day tradition is started when the moms of ten celebrities present the Top Ten list; Dave and Gillian Anderson make out.
Dave chats with the latest Survivor loser Robert "The General" DeCanio, while Liza Minnelli performs "Some People" from the musical Gypsy.
“Kid Scientists, Allison Janney, Al Green”
Nine guys in Spider-Man outfits, not to mention Dracula, Superman, and a cowboy cram themselves into a Subway restaurant; Tony Orlando dresses down Dave even though he interrupted him, then leaps into a chorus of "Knock Three Times"; when one of Lee Marek's kid scientists starts a very flammable demonstration, Dave demands that the band and everyone else onstage take for cover behind his desk.
“Alec Baldwin, Ted Nugent”
Tony Mendez goes home with an audience member (see recap), while Dave and rocker/sportsman Ted Nugent cook rabbit.
“Stupid Human Tricks, Natalie Portman, X-ecutioners, Xzhibit, Biohazard”
Dave shows footage from rehearsal of Kenny McGowan tripping over the "Will It Float" tank; Biff visits the Indianapolis Motor Speedway for the Indy 500 time trials; a participant in tonight's "Stupid Human Tricks" that can maneuver a tennis racquet all over his body flirts with Natalie Portman in the green room.
“Kathie Lee Gifford, Brian Regan”
Mailbag: Martha Stewart fills in for Biff on the pushpin board, Harold Larkin goes hitchhiking, and Tony is humiliated on Blind Date. Also, Brian Regan comments on his inability to spell names correctly.
“Vecepia Towerey, Hilary Swank, The Firecrackers”
Steph/Monty is mentioned in the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly; Dave calls New York Highway Superintendent Drew Outhouse to resolve an awkward social situation; The Kalter Twins perform "I've Got You Babe"; The Firecrackers, a synchronized jump rope team, demonstrate their wares on-stage.
“Diane Sawyer, Jesse Martin”
Dave shows real footage of a woman being questioned on the news wearing a Late Show t-shirt; Diane Sawyer brags about her recent weight loss; Dave chats with Australian teen Jesse Martin, the youngest person ever to sail around the world solo.
“Jennifer Lopez, April Kleinschmidt, Patty Loveless”
Trumpter Terence Blanchard sits in; in honor of David Blaine's recent stunt in which he stands on a eighty-foot platform for several days, George Clarke attempts to stand on a folding chair for the duration of the show; Dave chats with April Kleinschmidt, the sole graduate of the Class of 2002 at Harrold High School in South Dakota.
“Jon Favreau, David Rakoff, Anton Figg”
Alan asks passerby for their reaction to the new Star Wars prequel and ends up making a scene. Also, Anton Fig and Ivan Neville perform "Inside Out" from the CBS Orchestra drummer's new album, Figments.
“Charles Grodin, Wendy Liebman”
Dave announces that Paul will be called Pablo this summer, which will go into effect immediately; Dave promises tonight's show will be "smooth and suave"; during Mailbag, an audience member asks Dave what his most embarrassing moment was, and we watch a (phony) clip of Dave performing with The Firecrackers last week.
“Jimmy Kimmel, Tom Dreesen, Goo Goo Dolls”
While showing photos from her trip to the Indianapolis 500, Dave calls Steph/Monty "Dutch"; the snake lady performs again on "Is This Anything?"; Tom Dreesen tells various tales of Hollywood hobnobbing.
“Celine Dion, Helio Castroneves”
Dave accuses Rupert of product placement on "May We See Your Photos, Please"; Alan addresses the Queen of England in a rather inappropriate way; Celine Dion performs "I'm Alive" and jumps into the audience.
“Chris Rock, Jack Johnson”
Dave and Paul try to figure out a strange gesture that Celine Dion made during her TV concert earlier that week. Later, Chris Rock talks about Don King and Bucky Dent.
“Nicolas Cage, Abi Thomas, Jimmy Eat World”
An audience member explains to Dave how to pronounce the name of her hometown: "You're saying Morristown. It's not Morristown. It's Morristown." Also, Dave chats with Abi Thomas, a jogger who was attacked by a bear at Yellowstone National Park.
“Zach Braff, Kathleen Madigan”
Mailbag: "Is This Anything?" fave Kiva "Grinder Girl" Kahl stands next to Biff while he puts the pushpins in the map; twelth floor receptionist Art Garfunkel provides his own on-hold music; Alan beats the crap out of an Amish guy, then when Dave explains that the Amish are pacifists, Alan heads back to Lancaster, Pennsylvania, accuses the Amish guy of being brainwashed by Dave, and beats him up again.
“Christian Slater, David Bowie”
Dave comments on the Nets' playoff run; Alan performs another scene from Double Indemnity, this time with a Edward G. Robinson stand-in; David Bowie performs "Slow Burn."
“Sarah Michelle Gellar, John McEnroe”
Sarah Michelle Geller promotes Scooby-Doo while John McEnroe tells Dave a funny story about getting thrown out of the Australian Open back in his playing days.
“Freddie Prinze, Jr., Alicia Keys”
Dave and Paul talk about their cholesterol levels; Freddie Prinze, Jr. promotes Scooby-Doo; Alicia Keys sings "How Come You Don't Call Me?"
“Jodie Foster, Jack Hanna”
“Matt Damon, Marc Maron”
Biff does his pushpin schtick live from the Grand Canyon, and Dave persuades him to yell "Hey, Mommy!" just to see if there's an echo. Also, Paul does a somewhat convincing James Brown impression, suffers a nervous breakdown onstage, and Dave comes by to bring him his cape.
“Stupid Human Tricks, Tom Cruise, The Flatlanders”
Dave takes inventory of all his favorite clips (the "wild dingo," the baby owl eating the mouse, Dubya looking confused, etc.); Tom Cruise shows off his braces; during a segment called "Don't Try This At Home," Mike McIntee sprays Windex into his mouth.
“Ellen DeGeneres, Al Franken”
George Clarke stands on the roof of the Studio 54 building to hit golf balls, hoping to go over the Ed Sullivan Theater and break glass on the WPI building on its far side. After successfully breaking one window, Steph/Monty, Alan, and Al Franken each take a few swings at the windows.
“Piedmont Birdcallers, Lauren Ambrose, Moby”
The bird callers of Piedmont High School demonstrate their wares once more; Moby sings "We Are Made of Stars."
“Harrison Ford, ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead”
The U.S. National Team presents "Top Ten Ways to Get Americans Excited About Soccer;" Dave brags about buying his first car at Harrison Ford; The Trail of Dead performs "Relative Ways."
“Connie Chung, Gary Mule Deer”
Biff and Bruce Willis push pins in Hawaii during CBS Mailbag, while Dave lands on the cover of "Martha Stewart Living."
“Will Smith, Landon Donovan, Yo Yo Ma & The Silk Road Project”
Will Smith promotes "Men In Black 2," while the US Men's World Cup Soccer Team holds an exhibition on the roof of the theater.
“National Hollering Champions, Adam Sandler, Trik Turner”
Dave makes several enlightening remarks about the National Hollerin' Champions from North Carolina, who later perform their winning hollers; Adam Sandler plugs Mr. Deeds.
“Tom Brokaw, Bow Wow”
Dave reads from random wedding announcements in the New York Times in a segment called "Will It Last?"
“Michelle Williams, Barry Sonnenfeld”
The audience is victorious once more when they play "Stump the Band." Later, Dave shows a very obnoxious commerical for the upcoming G-8 Summit.
“Christina Ricci, Daniel Tosh, Ben Kweller”
The "Late Show CBS Mailbag Biff Henderson Map Across America Summer Tour" lands at the Statue of Liberty. Later, Ben Kweller performs "Wasted and Ready."
“Tom Hanks, Dolly Parton”
Biff goes out in van, annoying people with a bullhorn. Later, Steph/Monty asks "Road to Perdition" star Tom Hanks, "During the filming, did the crew see or touch any monkeys?"
“Stupid Pet Tricks, Jude Law, rubyhorse”
Zeke, the "Rabid Dingo" that bit Dave in June 2000, makes a return appearance on "Stupid Pet Tricks." Later, rubyhorse sings "Sparkle."
“Robin Williams, Pat Green”
Dave talks about a snake in his house; Alan Kalter seduces a CPR dummy during a segment called "What's New for Summer;" Pat and Kenny read a transcript of Oprah's interview with Jennifer Lopez; Robin Williams promotes a movie and a broadway show.
“Paul Newman, Counting Crows”
Dave plays "Know Your Current Events" with the audience. Later, Paul Newman talks about auto racing while promoting "Road to Perdition."
“Nathan Lane, Hugh Fink”
Biff's Summer Tour stops at Niagara Falls. Meanwhile, during CBS Mailbag, George Clarke talks about his plans for the Fourth of July; Alan Kalter struts his "mastery" of the French language.
“Serena Williams, Tom Arnold, Dave Matthews Band”
Dave admits to being in a disproportionatly good mood during a segment called "Late Show Newsmakers;" the Dave Matthews Band becomes the second band ever to perform on the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater.
“Catherine Keener, Mario Batali, Solomon Burke”
Steph/Monty and Dave play another round of "Psychic Sandwich." Later, Dave wrecks havoc during a cooking segment with New York restaurant owner Mario Batali.
“Sarah Jessica Parker, Etta James”
Sarah Jessica Parker talks about her unborn child; Alan appears to be on the brink of sanity; Dave stumps the audience with a "Beach Quiz."
“Geena Davis, Robert Plant”
Just for the hell of it, the annual "Late Show Holiday Quarterback Challenge" is held in the middle of July; Dave quizzes the audience with "Know Your Current Events;" Robert Plant sings "Darkness, Darkness."
“Ted Koppel, Wendy Liebman”
Biff's latest stop on his tour is Washington, DC; Dave chats with "Martha Stewart" (Gerard) and her lawyer made of pine cones during CBS Mailbag; Ted Koppel shows off his impeccable comic timing, then delivers a cape to Paul for his Friday night breakdown.
“Haley Joel Osment, Bill Scheft, Dashboard Confessional”
George Clarke flies a kite from a taxi; Haley Joel Osment promotes his movie, "The Country Bears;" Dashboard Confessional performs "Saints and Sailors."
“Kristen Johnson, Kinky”
Rupert goes golfing; Calvert DeForest turns 81; Kristen Johnston promotes her appearance in Shakespeare's "Twelfth Night" in Central Park.
“Dana Carvey, Ben Kilham”
Dave chats with a "bear rehabilitator;" Dana Carvey promotes his movie "Master of Disguise;" the "Charts and Graphs" segment reveals that the contents of Ding Dongs are 50% Dings and 50% Dongs.
“Amy Sedaris, Chazz Palminteri, Weezer”
During "Know Your Current Events," Dave seems to fixate on attractive women. Later, Weezer plays "Keep Fishin'."
“Bill Cosby, Tift Merritt”
During "CBS Mailbag," Paul exaggarates some of the many great tourist destinations of his hometown in Ontario. Later, Bill Cosby talks about his Congressional Medal of Honor.
“Julia Stiles, Mike Daisey, Wyclef Jean”
It's the dog days of summer, which might explain why Biff is sitting on a block of ice. Later, Julia Stiles talks about her hair.
“Joan Rivers, Zooey Deschanel”
Dave and Rupert play "The Late Show Celebrity X-Ray Challenge." Tonight's celebrity is James Caan.
“Blaine Mayhugh, Joaquin Phoenix, Little Richard”
Dave reads articles from obscure newspapers in a segment called "Small Town News." Later, Little Richard sings "Good Golly, Miss Molly."
“Mike Myers, Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band”
Mike Myers promotes "Austin Powers in Goldmember" and Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band performs "The Rising."
“Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band, Mitch Hedberg”
Biff's Summer Tour continues as Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band perform "Lonesome Day."
“Matthew Perry, The Vines”
Dave welcomes "Friends" star Matthew Perry, who is promoting a new movie. Meanwhile, a performance by the Aussie rock group The Vines blows the audience (and Dave) away.
“Robin Williams, James Taylor”
Sitting in with the band tonight is an unknown winner from the previous night's Teen Choice Awards. Later, Robin Williams plugs "One Hour Photo."
“Al Pacino, Roger Clemens”
Dave shows a timeline of President Bush's vacation, while Al Pacino promotes the movie "Simone."
“Elizabeth Hurley, Tom Ryan”
Biff pushes pins into a map right in front of the famous Hollywood sign in L.A.; Alan and his twin brother Rick appear on "American Idol"; upon hearing of a proposed talk show hosted by Bill Clinton on CBS, Dave shows a promo for NBC's "The Saddam Hussein Show."
“Stupid Human Tricks, Jimmy Fallon, Dirty Vegas”
"SNL" star Jimmy Fallon promotes the MTV Video Music Awards, which he's hosting.
“Chris Elliot, Eliza Dushku, Dixie Chicks”
Dave announces that tomorrow night Paul will be inducted into the National Black Sports and Entertainment Hall of Fame. Later, Chris Elliott and Dave reminiscense.
“John Travolta, Nelly”
Dave forces Steph/Monty to ask John Travolta, "How can I get in touch with the other Sweathogs?"
“Caroline Rhea, Jake Gyllenhall”
Joe Perry of Aerosmith sits in with the band; Osama congratulates Dave for nine years at CBS; Jake Gyllenhall promotes "Moonlight Mile."
“Martin Short, Lewis Black”
Biff Henderson ends his tour of the US during the "CBS Mailbag" segment (final stop: Mt. Rushmore) as Dave chats with "Dr. Steven Hatfill" (Gerard). Later, Dave welcomes "Jiminy Glick" star Martin Short.