Season eight of Seinfeld, an American comedy television series created by Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David, began airing on September 19, 1996, and concluded on May 15, 1997, on NBC.
After mourning for three months, George is ready to put his fiancee Susan's death behind him. And upon returning from six weeks in Mexico for her boss, Elaine discovers Jerry and his fiancee Jeannie went through a truly mutual break-up. However, while previewing her latest sartorial find from south of the border, Elaine finds her boss to be unusually disinterested. And she's taken by surprise by a long distance phone call that reveals Peterman has quit and left her to run the business in his absence. Meanwhile, Jerry discovers that an old girlfriend Dolores is suddenly interested again after learning he was engaged.
Though Jerry thinks she's unqualified to run the catalog, Kramer's story about his winning a karate championship inspires Elaine to rise to Peterman's challenge unaware that his opponents were all small children. Meanwhile, when Jerry's quote from an old Star Trek movie prompts Susan's parents to start a foundation in her memory, they ask George to be on its board of directors. And it's at the first meeting that he learns of the Rosses considerable fortune, one he would have inherited if only Susan had lived. Meanwhile, Dolores refuses to believe that Jerry's break-up with Jeannie was mutual.
After assuming complete control of the catalog, Elaine's confidence is shaken when she learns the truth about Kramer's karate title. And when told that his inspirational words were from another Star Trek film, things take a turn for the worse. Meanwhile, as Jerry searches for anyone who'll believe his claim of a mutual break-up, Kramer's pint sized karate classmates get revenge in a deserted back alley. Finally, as George learns just how much Susan's untimely death has cost him, Elaine discovers her choice for the catalog's cover is a disaster.
Given the impression that his fellow board members think Susan's death wasn't an accident, George secretly leaves a tape recorder behind at their next meeting to see if they suspect him of murder. However, after returning to retrieve it, he's surprised to find that something rendered the recorder inoperable only minutes after he left. Meanwhile, as Elaine is being pressured by her child-bearing friends, Kramer falls in love with Jerry's new girlfriend, Pam. And upon confessing his forbidden love, Kramer discovers Newman is obsessed with Elaine.
After Elaine meets Kevin, who also shares her disdain for parenthood, she tells Kramer that Jerry really isn't interested in Pam. Although news of his neighbor's obsession rekindles Jerry's interest, once Kramer and Newman team up on her, Pam begins losing interest in Jerry. So Newman offers to help Jerry win her back in exchange for his help with Elaine. Meanwhile, as George investigates his suspected involvement in Susan's death, Elaine cast doubts on her decision not to have any children right after Kevin gets a vasectomy just for her.
After confronting his fellow board members with the damaged tape, George discovers there's a plausible explanation. But even as George thinks he's off the hook, behind his back the board members all agree that he's responsible for Susan's death. Although Pam admits to being interested in both Jerry and Kramer, she's clear about not wanting to have children. So Jerry, Kramer and Newman all go for vasectomies just as Kevin is getting his reversed.
While showing Kramer an office building bathroom he frequently uses, George is attracted to the company's receptionist. Deciding to woo her by claiming his fiancee just died, he shows Amanda a picture of Gillian, a woman Jerry is considering dating. And when it works, he's invited to a private club where Amanda and friends from her days as a fashion model hang out. Meanwhile, when the bathroom visit results in him being mistaken for a staff member, Kramer becomes a key advisor at Brandt-Leland.
On his first date with Gillian, Jerry is impressed with everything except her man-like hands. And when Jerry fails to show up to help her with some work, Elaine calls her boyfriend Kevin, who's exactly the opposite of Jerry, and whose friends are the reverse images of George and Kramer -- just like Superman's Bizarro World! Feeling left out now that Kramer is at work every day, Jerry decides to break up with Gillian because of her hands. However, when he accidentally melts the picture George has been using to bolster his story, Jerry must continue seeing Gillian at least until he gets another.
As Kramer's situation at Brandt-Leland unravels over his shoddy work, George's failure to find another picture suddenly has him on the outs with Amanda. And when he tries taking Jerry to see the club, George is stunned to find it has moved. Finally, when Elaine tries treating Kevin and company just like her own friends, it does little to endear her to them.
When Elaine throws a big party to reward her staff, whatever respect she's gained is lost when everyone sees her horrible dancing --something Jerry has known for years but refused to discuss. Sensing something has changed at work, Elaine warns an employee against getting involved with George after she meets him at the party. But Anna calls for a date anyway after Elaine says he's a bad seed. Meanwhile, at a sneak preview of Death Blow, Kramer's friend Brody makes a pirate videotape of the film. And when Brody suddenly falls ill before the movie is over, he threatens Jerry into finishing it for him.
Learning that Anna defied her orders, Elaine insists that she never speak with George again. And once she begins having trouble with the rest of her staff, too, Kramer reveals that it's because of her awful dancing. The unexpected success of his Death Blow then forces Jerry into bootlegging another film. But, after sending Kramer to do the job, the disappointing results send Jerry back to do it himself and demand that Brody provide additional cameras and a crew.
When Elaine says he's not so bad after all, she jeopardizes the bad boy image that George is cultivating. Desperate to impress Anna, George then agrees to bootleg the film. But his arrest forces Jerry to give Brody the tape Kramer made.. .one on which Elaine has recorded herself dancing. Finally, following Elaine's jailhouse fight with George's dad, Jerry's Death Blow bootleg makes him an underground legend and creates a new dance fad.
After getting a look at her medical chart, Elaine learns that her doctor thinks she's "difficult." Pressed for details, Dr. Stern quickly dismisses Elaine without treating her irritating rash. And upon trying to see someone else, she's surprised to find her reputation has preceded her. When a woman at the photo store has been looking through his pictures, George concludes she must be interested in him. Using more film to create an attractive image of himself, he's stunned by a provocative photo he finds included in his next order. So he asks Kramer to take some racy photographs of him to send back to the store.
Kramer claims he can get a refund on Jerry's broken stereo, even though the warranty has expired. Then, after Jerry refuses a damaged and suspicious package in the mail, his mailman complains to Uncle Leo, who offers to deliver it personally. But after a mysterious explosion rocks Uncle Leo's apartment, Jerry learns that the package contained his broken stereo that Kramer mailed in order to get the Postal Service to pay for the damages. Meanwhile, Elaine discovers that her efforts to get treated are being thwarted by the medical association.
When he goes to file his claim, Jerry is interrogated by Newman, but admits to nothing. However, after confiscating one of George's photos that shows him hitting the stereo, Newman is sure that he's got Jerry cold. When they are both are summoned to the post office, Jerry finds himself being charged with fraud while George is accused of running a mail order pornography ring as his efforts to attract Sheila go unrewarded, but not entirely unnoticed.
Fed up with his incompetence in the mailroom, Elaine tries to fire the fatigue-wearing Eddie. But when she ends up promoting him instead, Eddie's obsession with violence produces some unusual catalog copy. And Elaine's staff bolts when she promotes him to an even bigger corporate job. Meanwhile, George struggles with a lecture he supposed to give at work. But because books on tape have made it impossible for him to read anymore, he purposely fails an eye test in order to get a risk management text recorded on tape.
When Kramer arranges a singles night at Frank Costanza's lodge, he learns that George's dad was an Army cook. And though Kramer could use some help preparing the food, he's told Frank gave up cooking after an unpleasant incident during the Korean War. Meanwhile, Jerry's new girlfriend Abby is excited about her mentor, Cynthia. But things stall after Jerry discovers Cynthia is dating hack comic Kenny Bania. And upon seeing Bania's act for herself, Abby questions Cynthia's judgment and finds herself without a mentor.
Needing someone to explain risk management to him, George asks Abby, while Bania turns to Jerry for help with his act and Frank puts aside his fears to give Kramer a hand. So, as Frank becomes Kramer's mentor in the kitchen and Jerry is Bania's on-stage, Elaine mentors Eddie and George takes on Abby. But a mix-up sends George to work with the wrong notes and he ends up doing Bania's act, while the comic gives the lecture at a club. Finally, when Elaine sends Eddie to the singles night, Frank mistakenly sees his bad wartime experience is being repeated.
Surprised by his reverence for a song on the radio, Elaine asks her boyfriend Brett about it, only to be chastised for interrupting. And when she recommends finding one they can call their own, Brett turns down the idea as he refuses to share his song with her. Because of a new Japanese television commercial, Jerry is deluged with royalty checks amounting to just a few cents each. As his hand becomes gnarled from signing them all, Kramer trades on Jerry's celebrity with a group of Japanese tourists. Meanwhile, George is upset when a religious cult's carpet cleaning service doesn't try to convert him.
With Kramer's encouragement, Jerry and George revive their failed comedy pilot for a disastrous preview for some Japanese TV executives. And when a misunderstanding bankrupts his Japanese guests, they are forced to use the chest of drawers Brett gave Kramer as their makeshift bed. Meanwhile, Jerry offends a sidewalk vendor, making it impossible for him to buy an umbrella. And seeing him struggling in the rain leads Brett to suspect that he's fallen on hard times.
After George hires the cult to clean the office carpets at work, Kramer drops in with his guests for a stadium tour. Showing them the pilot instead, George then insists they join him at another meeting with the Japanese TV executives. But when the chest's stuck drawers jeopardize their meeting, George calls Jerry, whose cramped hand forces him to use an ax to free them, as a horrified Brett tries to intervene. Finally, as the tourists complain that Jerry attacked them with an ax, the TV executives question George's sanity, too. And after George's boss is converted by the carpet cleaning cult, Jerry and Elaine are left to help Brett recover from amnesia after he was hit with the ax.
After convincing an old college friend to spend some time catching up, Jerry questions Seth's judgment after he is fired from a good job for missing a meeting with an important new client. And after George persuades her to buy him a fur hat on the company account, Elaine's expenses are scrutinized once the $8,000 bill comes in. While he's out with the clerk who sold him the hat, George leaves it at her apartment as part of his plan to get a second date. But when Elaine needs the hat to keep from losing her job, Heather claims she has no idea where it is. Meanwhile, when a Kenny Rogers Roaster chicken restaurant opens across the street, its bright lights interfere with Kramer's sleep.
Kramer switches apartments with Jerry until his sixties-style boycott of the restaurant solves the problem with the lights. However, when Seth finds a new job at Kenny Rogers, unable to resist temptation, Kramer becomes secretly addicted to their chicken. Although he and Elaine can't find the hat at her apartment, George is sure Heather has it and steals a valuable clock to retaliate. Taking Jerry's advice, Elaine buys a cheap imitation sable hat on the street. But when it's quickly recognized as a fraud, she heads for Burma to personally get Peterman's approval and keep her job.
When Heather calls, George is certain she wants to make a trade. But only after revealing he has her clock does he learn that she really just wanted another date. While trying to get Seth to turn off the lights, Jerry uncovers Kramer's addiction. And when Jerry inadvertently closes down the restaurant, he costs Seth another job and leaves Kramer craving the chicken. Finally after tracking down Peterman, Elaine still cannot get her boss to sign off on her expense account without first showing him the hat.
When a girlfriend's mononucleosis requires them to forgo sex, George discovers that his intellect is on the rise. And while happy to be dating a doctor, Elaine is surprised to learn that he hasn't passed his licensing exams. Then, after his agent books him at a junior high school career day, Jerry is bumped by a speaker from the zoo. Invited back to try again, his talk is then interrupted by a fire drill. Meanwhile, Kramer opens a smoking lounge in his apartment.
When a restaurant patron needs emergency medical attention, Ben proves to be of no help at all. So, to help him pass his exam, Elaine suggests giving up sex, only to find that, for her, celibacy has exactly the opposite affect as it does on George. Meanwhile, when Katie books Jerry for two hours at the junior high, George offers to help dazzle the students with a display of his amazing intellect. And when the diagnosis proves to be wrong, he also resumes relations with the sex-starved Louise.
As Kramer begins suffering the ill-effects of tobacco smoke, lawyer Jackie Chiles prepares to launch a big liability lawsuit. However, while Jackie hopes to use his client's wizened face to bolster their case, Kramer settles for an offer to model in the tobacco company's new ad campaign. Meanwhile, as Elaine looks for sex in order to clear her head, Ben passes his exam and decides to find someone better. And when sex with Louise renders George helpless, he costs Jerry an appearance on a popular TV show.
As quickly as he finds a great new apartment that will get him out of his parents' house, George loses it to an elderly tenant who's given preferential treatment because he survived the shipwreck of the Andrea Doria. Unable to persuade Clarence to give up the apartment, George sets out to convince the tenant's association that he has suffered far worse hardships than a shipwreck. Meanwhile, Elaine ponders keeping a boyfriend with a reputation of bad break-ups.
Although reluctant to see a doctor to treat a nagging illness, Kramer borrows a dog with similar symptoms in order to get a vet's diagnosis. As Kramer gets some animal antibiotics to treat himself, Elaine claims not to be fazed by Alan's farewell observation that she has a big head. Meanwhile, Jerry discovers that Newman has been keeping undelivered mail in his storage space to protest not getting a job in Hawaii.
When Newman's hope of a transfer is suddenly revived, Jerry agrees to do whatever it takes to help out. Yet, once he steps in to get the undelivered mail into the proper hands, Jerry's outstanding performance costs his neighbor the transfer. Then, as George's tales of woe convince the tenant's association that he's a far better candidate for the apartment, Kramer's medication causes him to exhibit some canine characteristics. Finally, after Elaine finds that his opinion of her head size is widespread, a second insult provokes her to attack Alan, who ends up stealing George's apartment with a small bribe.
After visiting a women's prison the foundation is considering for a large donation, George makes several return trips to see an inmate he met. But just as George is getting to like the arrangement, he learns that Celia is being considered for parole. Then, as Jerry tries to convince Marcelino, the owner of a local store, to remove his bad check from the window, Kramer sets out to raise a chicken at home for eggs. However, after learning that the chicken, dubbed Little Jerry Seinfeld, is actually a rooster, Marcelino suggests that Kramer consider entering it in a cockfight. Meanwhile, Elaine discovers that her bald boyfriend has a thick and lustrous head of hair.
Impressed with his performance in the ring, Marcelino offers to remove Jerry's bad check from his window if the rooster throws its next fight. As a result, Jerry vows to help Kramer make sure that Little Jerry Seinfeld wins. Meanwhile, worried about their relationship once she's released, George makes sure his report to Celia's parole board is less than glowing. And after Kurt agrees to grow his hair out for her, Elaine is shocked to discover that he's actually going bald.
As George counsels Kurt about baldness, Celia breaks out of the jail. While George is suddenly pleased with developments following their sexual encounter, Kurt worries about losing his hair and asks Elaine to get married before it's too late. However, when the detectives tracking Celia mistake him for George, Kurt is arrested for harboring a fugitive. Finally, after an unsuccessful attempt to stop the cockfight, Elaine learns that Kurt will be in jail long enough for him to lose the rest of his hair.
When his parents arrive for a last minute visit, Jerry learns that concern for his finances prompted them to sell the Cadillac he bought for them. As Jerry secretly plans to buy the car back from Florida neighbor Jack Klompus, George wonders how much money he stands to inherit from his own parents, only to have his inquiries prompt Frank and Estelle to start spending it now. Meanwhile, as Elaine contemplates a windfall from her J. Peterman stock options, Kramer finds he cannot sleep in the same bed with his new girlfriend, Emily.
Telling his parents he's working in Atlantic City, Jerry slips away to Florida where he spends much more than his parents got to repurchase their car. However, when Kiompus has an accident that requires him to return on short notice, Morty is sure Jerry is in trouble and asks Elaine for a job to help support his son. And just as she agrees to find something for him, Peterman unexpectedly returns. Although noises outside his door cause Kramer to reconsider sleeping alone, Emily decides she doesn't want him staying all night with her anymore. Meanwhile, Frank buys Estelle a Cadillac and prepares to move to Florida.
With Peterman back, Elaine finds herself with her old job, at her old salary and without any stock options. Worse yet, Morty's performance has impressed Peterman at her expense. So she schedules a late business meeting and, when Morty can't stay awake, he's fired. Then, after Emily refuses to let him stay, Kramer lands at the Costanzas as they are leaving for Florida. Finally, as Jerry returns home broke and unaware his parents are scheming to return his money, George begins to enjoy having his parents in Florida, not knowing that they are already planning to return.
After being embarrassed by a co-worker's remarks, George's quest for revenge with a retort on his own is set back when Reilly takes another job. And after investing $200 in a new tennis racquet, Jerry discovers that the pro who recommended it doesn't even know how to play. Meanwhile, as Elaine falls for a video store's mysterious critic, a movie inspires Kramer to create a living will. As Kramer and Elaine go over the circumstances that would result in cutting off his life support, Jerry heads for the pro shop to complain about being duped.
As Elaine's latest video store pick upsets Vincent, the movie that inspired Kramer to draft his will also gives him reason to think again. As Kramer asks to reconsider their agreement, Elaine discovers that her betrayal caused Vincent to stop making video picks at the store. Meanwhile, after an attractive woman invites herself up to his apartment for some casual sex, Jerry is stunned to learn that she's the chastised tennis pro's wife, sent to make amends for his mistake. So, when she loses all respect for him following the embarrassing incident, Milos asks Jerry to lose at tennis and rehabilitate him in his wife's eyes.
Despite tracking down Reilly in Ohio, George fails to get satisfaction. And as Kramer does his best to avoid any life-threatening injuries, Elaine is stunned to learn that the elusive Vincent is only fifteen years old. Finally, during the tennis match Milos uses to elevate himself at Jerry's expense, a stray ball knocks Kramer unconscious. And once he wakes up, it's just in time to see something that suggests Elaine is about to end his life.
As Jerry wonders why a new girlfriend was available for their first date on her birthday, the foundation asks George to interview candidates for a college scholarship. After eliminating several highly qualified candidates, he recommends Steven, an average student who reminds him of himself. But Steven's goal to be a city planner gives George second thoughts about honoring someone with such high aspirations. Meanwhile, Jerry wonders what he isn't seeing that makes everyone else think Ellen is a loser.
As Elaine is asked to ghostwrite J. Peterman's autobiography, Kramer inadvertently convinces some hoodlums that he was once a member of their gang. So, when Elaine has difficulty finding anything that hasn't already been said about his life, Peterman buys Kramer's stories to use as his own. However, Elaine has her doubts when the stories fall flat. Meanwhile, when Jerry arranges to spend a weekend with Ellen, George and Kramer decide to put a stop to it. And when he tells Steven that he's losing the scholarship, George is confronted by the same gang that attacked Kramer.
After initially keeping the Van Buren Boys at bay by convincing them he was once a member, George's failure to steal a wallet belonging to Morty Seinfeld forces him to submit to the gang's punishment. Then, as Jerry decides to put Ellen to the test by meeting his parents, he convinces Elaine to make Kramer's stories into something useable. However, when her efforts to reshape them don't meet with his approval, Peterman gladly sells them back to Kramer, unaware that they were Elaine's fabrications. Finally, as Elaine seeks Newman's help to finish the book, his parent's approval convinces Jerry to dump Ellen.
After a designer at work does her a favor, Elaine is reluctant to correct her when Peggy gets her name wrong. However, it's a decision that comes back to haunt her when, thinking she's talking to Susie, Peggy complains about Elaine. After he lands an attractive date for the Yankee's Pinstripe Ball, George worries when she starts sounding like she wants to break up. So, to make sure he still has a date, he decides to avoid Allison prior to the ball. Meanwhile, as Jerry discovers that an ex-friend is now a small time bookmaker, Kramer unilaterally changes his watch off Daylight Savings Time.
As George avoids Allison, a bet Kramer placed for Jerry pays off. When Mike doesn't have the money, Jerry gives him until the end of the week to come up with it. But Jerry's accidental closing of his car trunk on Mike's hand is interpreted by Mike as a threat. When Peggy complains about Susie, Peterman asks for a meeting to resolve their differences. However, Elaine covers by saying that the she'll take care of the problem herself. Meanwhile, after speaking with Allison, Kramer breaks up with George on her behalf.
Following the car trunk incident, a terrified Mike agrees to repair it in exchange for Jerry's forgiving his debt. But when a second accident traps him inside and he overhears Elaine and Jerry, Mike is convinced they intend to kill Susie. Meanwhile, George gets Kramer to take him back, but Allison refuses, leaving Kramer as his date for the ball. Then, as Peterman suggests promoting Susie, Elaine claims she committed suicide. However, as Elaine is delivering the eulogy, Mike interrupts the funeral claiming Jerry murdered Susie. Finally, as the constant resetting of his watch throws Kramer into a state of confusion, Peterman appoints Elaine to head up a charitable foundation in Susie's honor.
After he accidentally drops her toothbrush into the toilet and then doesn't tell her, Jerry cannot bring himself to kiss his girlfriend, Jenna. And as George frets over losing a talking keychain he was given by his boss, Kramer adopts a section of a local highway as his own to maintain. While Jerry looks for a way to secretly sterilize Jenna's mouth, George remembers losing his keychain in a pothole. But when he goes to retrieve it, he finds the pothole has already been repaired and the keychain buried inside. Meanwhile, when she can't convince a Chinese restaurant to deliver to her apartment, Elaine turns to deception to get what she wants.
After failing to convince a stranger to loan her an apartment so she can order the food, Elaine adopts a janitor's closet as her own in order to have the food delivered. Then, as Kramer offers George some help in recovering the buried keychain, Jerry confesses, prompting Jenna to then drop something of his in the toilet, and not tell him what. So, as Jerry frantically tries to figure out just what it was, George tries persuading a highway crew to dig up his keychain.
As Kramer's efforts to widen the lanes on his section of highway creates a massive traffic jam, Elaine discovers that pretending to live in the supply closet has caused the building's tenants to assume she's the janitor. And only after ridding his apartment of nearly everything he owns does Jerry learn that Jenna only dipped his bowl brush in the toilet. Finally, after George's efforts to unearth the keychain produce a plumbing disaster for Jenna, Elaine borrows Jerry's car to haul the building's trash to the dump and causes an accident along Kramer's section of highway.
As George meets a beautiful woman who claims he looks like her boyfriend, Elaine reluctantly sees The English Patient. While Elaine's low opinion of the popular film costs her a date, George becomes obsessed with outdoing Danielle's boyfriend, Neil. In Florida helping his parents move, Jerry is surprised to learn that the Cubans he agreed to bring home for Kramer aren't cigars, but three cigar rollers. And when Jerry is challenged to prove who can lift the most weight, a boastful friend of his father is hospitalized.
As Jerry tries to apologize, Izzy Mandelbaum is re-injured and sent to a specialist in New York where the discovery that the cigar rollers are actually from the Dominican Republic ruins Kramer's business venture.
And when Elaine claims to have never seen The English Patient, Peterman insists she drop everything to go with him. Meanwhile, as Jerry tries apologizing again, Izzy's aging son ends up in the hospital, too, as George tries to outdo Neil by asking Danielle to move in with him.
After revealing her feelings about the film, Elaine saves her job by agreeing to a trip to Tunisia where The English Patient was filmed. And when Jerry heads back to the hospital, an injury to Izzy's dad jeopardizes their family restaurant business. So Jerry gets the unemployed Dominicans to help out. But when they are fired, the disgruntled trio hijacks Elaine's flight to Cuba as Danielle decides she's staying with Neil.
As Elaine prepares to date someone who takes his back problems very seriously, Jerry struggles with the indecisive carpenter he's hired to remodel his kitchen. And once George discovers he can nap beneath his desk without anyone knowing at work, he also hires Conrad to make it more comfortable. Meanwhile, as overcrowding at his local swimming pool leads Kramer to seek alternatives, Hal sends Elaine a mattress before their next date. And to express her disapproval of the gift, she gives it to Kramer.
When Steinbrenner comes looking for him, George is forced to call Jerry from his hiding place for help. However, when Jerry uses a bomb threat to distract him, Steinbrenner seeks refuge underneath the desk, too. Assuming he was able to foresee the danger, Steinbrenner's confidence in George skyrockets as he assigns him to deal with the terrorist. But after George convinces Jerry to drop his demands for 50,000 custom fitted Yankee caps, he must then find a way to bring Yankee great Reggie Jackson out of retirement.
Realizing she overreacted to Hal's gift, Elaine sets out to get the mattress back. But Kramer's swimming in the polluted East River has left him and the mattress with a foul smell. Discovering that Kramer and Elaine's mattress smell exactly alike, Hal suspects they are having an affair. And convinced that Elaine likes it, Hal decides to start swimming in the East River, too. However, when Hal's chiropractor approves the new routine for all his patients, the river suddenly becomes as overcrowded as the pooi. Finally, as Jerry learns to live with Conrad's work, his friends are put off by the renovations. But, when Jerry asks that his kitchen be restored to its original condition, George takes to sleeping inside his cabinets.
When dentist Tim Whatley changes religions, Jerry suspects it's only so he can tell Jewish jokes with a clear conscience. And while George's girlfriend has him intrigued by her frequent use of the phrase "yada yada," Elaine is asked to vouch for the Lookners in their effort to adopt a child. Although intending to make Beth and her husband look good, Elaine's reference to Arnie's temper jeopardizes the adoption. Meanwhile, after Kramer and Mickey arrange a double date with two women, they cannot decide who gets which one.
When Marcy's "yada yada" obscures the fact that she slept with a former boyfriend, George presses for details and discovers there's a lot about her that he doesn't want to know. Turning to Tim's former priest for help, Jerry tells a joke that causes everyone to think he's biased against dentists. Meanwhile, as Elaine realizes that she cost Arnie and Beth their adoption and sets out to correct the mistake, Kramer changes his mind about Karen after meeting her parents.
While Beth suspects Arnie and Elaine of having an affair, Mickey announces that he and Karen are getting married. As Elaine aggressively lobbies to get the Lookners a child, she learns that Jerry is already planning to woo Beth following her divorce. But when George and Marcy's shopping trip ends with her being jailed, word that Mickey's dad is a dentist exposes Beth's own prejudices. Finally, it's only after she's married that Kramer learns Karen liked him best.
While Kramer begins planning a millennium party, Jerry is happy to have made it to the number one spot on his girlfriend's telephone speed dial. But when Kim's stepmother learns it was at her expense, she warns him to stay away from her daughter's phone. Meanwhile, when Elaine is upset by a store clerk's lack of interest in selling her a pair of sandals, Kramer sends her to another store where she's determined to buy them as revenge, while another job offer inspires George to get fired from the Yankees.
Hoping to get himself fired, George wears a priceless uniform that once belonged to Babe Ruth to an important meeting, only to be stunned when the Yankee's owner approves of his irreverence. And, as Kramer learns that Newman is also planning a millennium bash of his own, Elaine is disappointed when, after spending lots of money at a competing store, the offending clerk doesn't even recognize her. Meanwhile, when Jerry tries to intercede on Mrs. Tanner's behalf, Kim takes her stepmother off the speed dial altogether. And as Newman agrees to co-host a party with Kramer provided that Jerry can't come, George redoubles his efforts to get fired.
As Kramer pledges not to attend Newman's party without Jerry, Elaine discovers that the store she's targeted for revenge is owned by the same person as the one where she bought all her clothes. And when Kramer's plot to sabotage the store's clothing backfires, he inadvertently poisons Kim's mom instead. Finally, in order to get Elaine to attend his millennium party, Newman must invite Jerry, too. And while George nearly gets himself fired, his boss accepts all the blame so that he can get another job for himself.
Upon learning that Elaine left many of his own stories in Peterman's autobiography, Kramer is intent on reclaiming them. But he's forcibly ejected from Peterman's book signing where Elaine's former boss, Mr. Lippman, is intrigued by her habit of eating the tops of muffins. Meanwhile, after Jerry suspects that his girlfriend Alex might like that he's accidentally shaved off his chest hair, George pretends to be from out of town in order to get a date with a woman from the tourism board.
To keep up appearances for Mary Anne, George moves into a hotel. But when he then claims he's thinking about moving to New York, Mary Anne is sure he'll never make it. Then, as Kramer tries to cash in on the book's success by giving bus tours about his version of Peterman's life story, Lippman opens a store selling nothing but muffin tops. When the new venture is about to collapse, Elaine points out that they are only good when cut from a whole muffin and convinces Lippman to give the rest to a homeless shelter. But when the shelter's director balks, they must dispose of the leftover muffin bottoms themselves.
As Kramer warns Jerry about the adverse consequences of shaving his chest hair, George's efforts to impress Mary Ann gives his boss the impression that he's holding down two jobs, one in New York and another in Arkansas. Then, as his bus tours fail to get off the ground, Kramer agrees to haul Elaine and Lippman's excess muffin bottoms. However, when he cannot find anyone to take them, Elaine and Lippman hire Newman instead. Finally, after his deception causes George to lose his job with the Yankees, Mary Anne is convinced that her earlier predictions were correct.
After Jerry invites an attractive waitress to join him at the Tony Awards, he learns Kramer will be there, too. Arriving for their date, Jerry is surprised to find Lanette living with another man. And though he tries to inquire, she isn't at all forthcoming about her relationship with Lyle. Meanwhile, Elaine's observation about a co-worker's awkward walk gets her a reputation for being catty. And when he's fired by the Yankees, George decides to enjoy his severance pay.
As George watches on television, Kramer is mistaken for one of the producers that wins the Tony for Best Musical. Although he's approached about returning the award, Kramer is given a chance to keep it if he will fire the show's temperamental star, Raquel Welch. Then, to prove how nice she can be, Elaine invites Sam to lunch. But the plan backfires after she tells Sam about her awkward walking style. Meanwhile, when Jerry complains that Lanette needs more than one man, George agrees to help out.
With George's help, Jerry impresses Lanette, so much so that she gets rid of Lyle. But when George is distracted while delivering some invitations he picked out for Lanette's party, it puts Jerry in a difficult spot. Meanwhile, after arriving to give Raquel the bad news, Kramer is attacked by the actress. And when Raquel mistakes Elaine's complaints about Sam as being directed at her, she attacks her, too. Finally, George's attempt to deliver the invitations ends in a crippling accident just as his vacation was getting underway.