The Simpsons

(1989)

The Simpsons - Season 13 Episodes

The Simpsons - Season 13

The Simpsons - Season 13

The Simpsons' thirteenth season originally aired on the Fox network between November 6, 2001 and May 22, 2002 and consists of 22 episodes. The show runner for the thirteenth production season was Al Jean who executive-produced 17 episodes. Mike Scully executive-produced the remaining five, which were all hold-overs that were produced for the previous season. The Simpsons is an animated series about a working-class family, which consists of Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie. The show is set in the fictional city of Springfield, and lampoons American culture, society, television and many aspects of the human condition.

The season won an Annie Award for Best Animated Television Production, and was nominated for several other awards, including two Primetime Emmy Awards, three Writers Guild of America Awards, and an Environmental Media Award. The Simpsons ranked 30th in the season ratings with an average viewership of 12.4 million viewers. It was the second highest rated show on Fox after Malcolm in the Middle. The DVD boxset was released in the United States and Canada on August 24, 2010, eight years after it had completed broadcast on television.

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Episode 1

The Simpsons Halloween Special XII

A Simpsons Halloween to never forget! The first cryptic tale brings the family to "Ethnictown" where Homer angers a gypsy who then places a curse bringing bad luck to everyone but him. Marge grows a beard, Lisa turns into half of a horse and Bart's neck becomes rubbery. To break the curse, Homer captures a leprechaun, only the leprechaun falls in love with the gypsy and winds up marrying her.The second scary story pays homage to 2001 as Marge decides to purchase the Ultrahouse 3000, a futuristic house (Pierce Brosnan) with homicidal tendencies that controls every aspect of the family's lives. When the House falls in love with Marge, it attempts to kill Homer and take his place.The final Halloween Haunt finds the Simpsons in a Harry Potter-esque existence, with the kids learning sorcery at a wizard school. Montymort and his sidekick Slithers, try to take Lisa's essence only to be out-dueled by Bart.

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Episode 2

The Parent Rap

When Homer makes Bart and Milhouse walk to school, the boys get into trouble and are arrested for stealing Chief Wiggum's squad car. Milhouse gets off but when Bart comes to the bench, Judge Constance Harm (Jane Kaczmarek) takes over and lays down the law. She holds Homer responsible for Bart's deeds and sentences he and Bart to be tethered together.Marge finally gets fed up with the punishment and cuts the rope. Only now, she and Homer get brought back before Judge Harm and have their heads and hands locked up in old-fashioned wooden stocks. Not being able to bare the punishment any longer, they break free and decide to get back at the judge. When the plan goes awry, they accidentally sink the Judge's houseboat and are once again brought into court. Just as Judge Harm is ready to bang her gavel, Judge Schneider comes back from his fishing trip and declares a verdict of "boys will be boys," dismissing the case.

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Episode 3

Homer the Moe

When Moe becomes too depressed for his own good, he decides to leave Springfield for his alma mater. In doing so, he leaves the bar in Homer's care, who subsequently turns it into more of a sty then it already was. While at bartending school, Moe consults a former professor and comes back to Springfield with a renewed sense of spirit. Moe decides to tear down the old bar and hires a foreign decorator to create a whole new look. The new bar is called "M" and features a snobbish clientele and more expensive drinks. Feeling betrayed by his friend, Homer decides to open a bar in his own garage under the auspices of a hunting club. Moe eventually realizes that the new glitz and glamour of the new place can't replace the dank of his old friends. So he goes for a walk and overhears the sounds from Homer's garage where REM is playing a tribute concert. He tells Homer that the only way he can stay open as a hunting club though is to actually go hunting. Homer goes out the next day and tries to kill a turkey but accidentally shoots Moe instead. To reconcile, Homer brings his family to Moe's for Thanksgiving dinner. He never kills a turkey, but REM joins them and brings over a tofu Thanksgiving feast.

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Episode 4

Hunka Hunka Burns in Love

When the family goes to a Chinese restaurant in China Town, Homer is disappointed by the unoriginal and lame fortunes from the fortune cookies. Homer impresses the restaurant owner with his own brand of fortunes and is hired as a writer. From one of his fortunes, Mr. Burns is told that he will find true love. When he's being given a ticket by female cop Gloria, he decides to ask her out. Initially, Gloria feels that Mr. Burns is too old for her, but when Homer tells her about all of Burns' exploits, she begins falling for him.Mr. Burns continues dating Gloria and has Homer come along on their dates to support in a "youthful" way. While bowling, Mr. Burns decides to propose to Gloria and she accepts. When Burns goes to buy champagne, Gloria and Homer are kidnapped by her ex-boyfriend Snake. Snake takes them to his hideout where he ties she and Homer to chairs and tries to win her back. The police arrive and there's a standoff. When Homer inadvertently catches on fire, the whole place goes up in ablaze, leaving Gloria trapped inside. When Burns sees her trapped, he musters up enough energy to save her. Only when they come out, Gloria realizes that she's still attracted to Snake's bad boy image, leaving Mr. Burns loveless again.

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Episode 5

The Blunder Years

When Homer brings the family out for a nice dinner and a show, a hypnotist inadvertently conjures up repressed memories from Homer's past and causes him to scream uncontrollably. Realizing that he's been traumatized by some horrific event in his past, Marge gives him a special Yaqui Indian tea to sharpen his memory. Homer recounts when he was 12 and went on a hiking expedition with Lenny, Carl and Moe. It turns out that while they were swimming in a quarry, Homer happened upon a corpse that fell out of a drainpipe. With the memory now out in the open, Homer is able to stop screaming, but the mystery of the corpse remains. The whole family goes to investigate and when they find the body again, they decide to follow the drainpipe up to its source. They arrive in Mr. Burns' office, where Mr. Burns tells them that the corpse is from Smithers' dad, Waylon Sr. Mr. Burns then shows them a movie about how Smithers' dad died, which was from the constant contact with radiation.

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Episode 6

She of Little Faith

Homer and Bart build a model rocket together but lose control of it as it burns down the church. Without any money for repairs, the church decides to sell out to corporate sponsors: mainly Mr. Burns. Lisa is appalled by the shameless display of billboards and corporate monikers emblazoned on the church walls and finally decides to simply quit the church for good. She decides to test out new religions and finally happens upon a Buddhist temple. Lisa becomes enamored with the easy-going approach to enlightenment and decides to take Buddhism as her new religion. Her family, worried about her soul, try to bring her back to Christianity by subtly dropping Christian innuendo. Lisa realizes that Buddhism allows for the celebration of all holidays and finally comes back to her family to celebrate and simply pay "lip-service" to the church.

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Episode 7

Brawl in the Family

While playing a heated game of Monopoly, the family gets into a fight and causes Maggie to call the police. The whole family is arrested and the story makes all the papers. A social worker is assigned to the case and attempts to get everyone to work together as a team and break out of their traditional roles. While on a retreat in the woods, they encounter heavy obstacles, but are ultimately able to overcome, work together and bond as a family. Soaking in the warmth of their new relations, they drive home but find two floozies standing in the driveway. Evidently the family riot story made the papers in Las Vegas and Homer and Flanders' Vegas wives finally track them down. Ashamed and embarrassed, Marge kicks Homer out of the house, forcing him to sleep in the yard. His second wife decides to settle in, making Homer even more miserable. Eventually, Marge feels sorry for him, and the family decides to work together to get rid of her. Homer gets his trashy wife roaring drunk and gets Grandpa to marry her, annulling his own marriage.

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Episode 8

Sweets and Sour Marge

After buying the Duff Book Of World Records at a library book sale, Homer is inspired to set a record of his own. He rounds up all of Springfield and decides to build the world's tallest human pyramid. Just as the town is ready to accomplish the feat, the pyramid tumbles down and creates a massive rolling ball that finally comes to rest on a truck scale. The Duff representatives see the scale and determine that Springfield is pound for pound the fattest town on earth. Disgusted by the flatulence, Marge decides to go on a crusade to stop the sugar onslaught on the town. She hires a lawyer and wins a class-action lawsuit against big sugar. The Judge then decrees that sugar be banned from Springfield for life. The town up in arms, Homer becomes a sugar bootlegger and starts smuggling sugar into town. When he brings in his big score, Marge implores him to dump the load, but when she realizes how sugar makes everyone in town happy, she gives up her crusade and the judge rescinds his decree.

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Episode 9

Jaws Wired Shut

While running rampant through Springfield, Homer accidentally smashes into a new statue of Dredrick Tatum, the heavyweight champion of the world, and breaks his jaw. Dr. Hibbert wires his jaw shut to allow it to heal, and forces Homer to shut his mouth…for once. Because he can't speak, Homer is forced to listen to his family for the first time. To everyone's surprise, Homer is surprisingly good at listening to their problems/concerns and creates harmony in the family. When he finally gets the wires off, he remains the good listener. Marge steadily begins going crazy as Homer is now the voice of reason in the family. She begins coming loose at the seams and needs an outlet. She decides to take matters into her own hands and fulfill one of Homer's dreams for herself: driving in a demolition derby. Except when she's in the ring, she begins getting pummeled by the other cars. Homer is forced to lose his gentile side and revert back to old-Homer to save the day and ultimately the marriage itself.

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Episode 10

Half-Decent Proposal

Homer's snoring reaches epic proportions and is driving Marge insane. The lack of sleep begins weighing down on her so she takes Homer to Dr. Hibbert to get him looked at. The surgery option is too expensive so Marge ends up sleeping at Patty and Selma's so she can get some much needed rest. While there, she catches a news report about the success of her high school prom date, Artie Ziff. In a drunken blunder, Marge emails Artie a sexified letter. Upon receiving the email, Artie immediately gets in his helicopter and flies to the Simpsons house. Artie takes the whole family to his yacht and makes Homer a proposal. He offers $1 million to spend a weekend with Marge. Homer and Marge throw the offer in Artie's face, but when Homer's snoring becomes uncontrollable, Marge is forced to give in, needing the money for the surgery. Homer is devastated by the decision, and spies on a party that Artie throws in Marge's honor. Homer sees them kiss, but misses the part when Marge throws Artie off of her. Homer, crushed, leaves home and goes to work in an oil field in West Springfield. Just as death seems imminent for Homer, Marge flies in on Artie's helicopter and rescues him from a burning rig. They're reunited but they refuse Artie's money. Instead, Marge buys Homer Artie's latest invention, which converts his snoring into sweet music (with subliminal messages).

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Episode 11

The Bart Wants What It Wants

Greta Wolfcastle (Reese Witherspoon) gets a crush on Bart, and the whole family begins enjoying the royal treatment her father, Rainier, provides them. After getting used to the lifestyle of the rich and famous, the Simpsons' privileges are revoked once Bart bores of Greta and breaks up with her. Trying to lure Bart back, Greta pretends to have a crush on Milhouse to provoke Bart's jealousy. Her plan works, but when Greta takes Milhouse to Canada with her for a movie her father is in, Bart loses it and lures his whole family to come to Canada as well. While on the set, Bart confronts Milhouse and they get into a fight, crashing into sets and ruining props. Greta's plan, clearly worked, but Bart's attempts are unrequited as she loses interest in both of them.Wolfgang Puck also guest stars.

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Episode 12

The Lastest Gun in the West

Bart befriends an elderly cowboy who was once a Big Screen Legend, a la John Wayne. The cowboy becomes Bart's new idol, and soon all of Springfield's children are renewing their interest in the Old West. Of course Homer is jealous of Bart's new hero and tries repeatedly and unsuccessfully to win Bart back. Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa help the cowboy regain his fame by booking him on Krusty's show. Unfortunately, the cowboy is a drunkard and when a bad bout of stage fright kicks in, he turns to the ol drink. He's subsequently humiliated when he's forced to admit he's an alcoholic. Down, but not out, the cowboy redeems himself by restoring order at the scene of a bank robbery and lassoing the robbers with his classic lasso trickery. Dennis Weaver guest stars.

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Episode 13

The Old Man and the Key

When a sultry new woman takes up residence in his retirement home, Grandpa is determined to win her affections by impressing her with his driving skills. Grandpa convinces Homer to let him borrow the car, and he proceeds to make a mess of the town's roads. Although he impresses the new old gal, he's still forced to compete with the younger Casa Nova of the retirement home. When the younger man takes Grandpa's new girl on a road trip, Grandpa "kidnaps" Bart, taking him on the road to win back the woman from the arms of the other man. Of course in the end, he's unsuccessful in his attempts, but he and Bart are able to bond through the experience.

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Episode 14

Tales From the Public Domain

When Homer gets a notice from the library that he has a book of classic tales that's years overdue, he finds it on the shelf and begins reading aloud.The first tale chronicles Homer as Odysseus and the battle of Troy. Ned is the King of Troy and Homer brings the Trojan Horse into the castle and slaughters the lot of them. But on his return home, he angers the gods and they send him off course where he encounters the sirens (Selma and Patty) as well as a trip through Hades and an encounter with a Cyclops. He finally makes it home to his wife Penelope (Marge).The second tale follows Lisa as Joan of Arc as she attempts to lead the French over the English in the Hundred Years War. Although laughed at first, Joan (Lisa) valiantly leads the French army to victory after victory. But when she's caught by the English - she's brought to trial and burned at the stake for witchcraft. The final tale follows the story of Hamlet (Bart). Hamlet's uncle Claudius (Moe) kills his father (Homer) and marries his mother (Marge). When Hamlet has a play put on to make Claudius feel guilty, Claudius realizes that Hamlet knows what he did and tries to kill him as well. When Hamlet tries to kill Claudius, he kills Polonius (Chief Wiggam) accidentally and causes Laertes (Ralph) to avenge his father's death against Hamlet. Hamlet winds up killing both Laertes and Claudius and the kingdom is returned to its rightful state.

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Episode 15

Blame it on Lisa

Marge is on a campaign to bring down the phone company because she's convinced they are billing them for calls the family didn't make. When Lisa sheepishly admits that she's been calling Brazil to check up on an orphan she's been sponsoring, the whole family decides to head down to Rio de Janeiro for a visit. Upon arrival, Homer is promptly kidnapped and forces the family to come up with ransom money. Not able to raise the proper capital, Homer begrudgingly calls Mr. Burns for the money and gets deeper into debt with his demonic boss. The family is finally reunited and the orphan it turns out is doing quite well and has a job performing at Carnivalè.

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Episode 16

Weekend at Burnsie's

When Homer is attacked by a mob of crows, he injures his eyes and Dr. Hibbert prescribes him medical marijuana. Homer quickly becomes addicted to the wacky weed though and starts exhibiting all the known traits of pot-headedness: hunger, laziness, mellowed personality, etc.While looking for someone to laugh at his company's dismal quarterly report, Mr. Burns hires Homer who finds everything funny while he's high. Burns feels that if he makes the report funny, it'll lesson the blow. Unfortunately, a new law is passed that bans the use of medical marijuana and Homer is unable to laugh at any of Mr. Burns' outdated humor. At the shareholders meeting, Mr. Burns fakes his own death and Homer and Smithers use his body as a puppet to trick the stockholders. The plan works and the plant is saved from another major crisis.

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Episode 17

Gump Roast

In another classic clip show, Homer J. Simpson is the talk of the town as the Springfield Friar's Club decides to "roast" him. All his close friends and even Mr. Burns relay Homer's countless foibles, follies and fables. Just as the roast is about to end however, the two aliens, Kang and Kodos crash the party and threaten to destroy the earth because they can find no innocence or good. It's not until they probe Maggie's mind that they find there are things on earth worth living for. The innocence of a child.

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Episode 18

I am Furious Yellow

When a cartoon animator speaks to Bart's class on career day, Bart gets the idea to make an animated series of his own. After countless efforts and derogatory statements from Comic Book Guy, Bart's attempts at cartooning come to a crashing halt. That is until the biggest character of all inspires him at home: Homer. Bart creates a character based on Homer called "Angry Dad," that chronicles Homer's daily antics via flash animation on the Internet. Bart's problem however, is that he's running out of material when Homer begins to suppress his rage. As a result, Bart decides to create an elaborate scheme to make Homer go crazy and provide ample fodder for his cartoon. When Homer falls victim to Bart's prank, he becomes so enraged that he turns into a delirious version of the Incredible Hulk and has to be subdued by countless police officers from Springfield's finest. In the end, Homer realizes that keeping all the rage inside can sometimes actually be a bad thing.

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Episode 19

The Sweetest Apu

When Homer accidentally catches Apu cheating on his wife in the Kwik-E-Mart, he struggles to keep the news to himself. He eventually tells Marge who forces him to confront Apu. Apu feels ashamed of his infidelity but still doesn't have the courage to tell Manjula. Unfortunately for Apu however, Manjula discovers the security tape from the store and kicks Apu out of the house. Marge and Homer desperately try to get the couple back together and secretly invite them both over to the house for dinner. Manjula finally agrees to take Apu back, but only after he completes a list of activities she sets out for him, which obviously includes breaking up with his mistress. She eventually lets Apu back into the house, but she says it'll take time to get back to where they were.

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Episode 20

Little Girl in the Big Ten

Lisa befriends some college girls who are unaware of her age. At home with their heady intellectualism and always seeking acceptance, Lisa pretends to be enrolled at their school. She spends most her time on campus while going to great lengths to avoid having her cover blown. When the truth is finally revealed however, she realizes that her old life suited her just fine.Meanwhile, Bart is relegated to living in a bubble when he's bitten by a contagious mosquito.

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Episode 21

Frying Game

Homer buys Marge a Koi pond as an anniversary present, but the pond becomes a home for a rare screaming caterpillar. The EPA makes Homer responsible for the screamapillar, but when he tries to kill it the court sentences him to do community service. During his community service Homer meets Mrs. Bellamy, a wealthy old lady, and ends up doing additional odd jobs for her. Homer spends so much time helping Mrs. Bellamy that he neglects his own family. When Marge talks to her about the situation, she ends up working for Mrs. Bellamy too. After a party, they discover Mrs. Bellamy passed out on the floor as a burglar escapes out the window with her diamond necklace. Mrs. Bellamy dies and Homer and Marge are suspected of murder. During a search of the Simpson’s house the police find the missing necklace and Homer and Marge are arrested. At the trial they are found guilty of murder and are sentenced to die in the electric chair. Homer decides to save Marge, by confessing to the murder. On the day of Homer’s execution, it’s revealed that the whole thing was a scam and part of a new reality show called “Frame Up,” and that Mrs. Bellamy is alive and is actually Carmen Electra in disguise. GUEST VOICES: CARMEN ELECTRA, FRANCIS STERNHAGEN

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Episode 22

Papa's Got a Brand New Badge

When Homer gets bored - again - he begins listing his vast accomplishments throughout his life. He comes to the realization that he's never worked in security so he decides to start his own security company with Lenny and Carl to help protect the citizens of Springfield. When Mayor Quimby realizes how inept Wiggum is, he decides to make Homer head of security for the whole city. Unfortunately for Homer, he gets tangled up with the Mafia who try to rub him out of the security business. In the final showdown in front of the Simpson home, Homer stands off with a group of Fat Tony's men. Out of nowhere though, shots are fired as Tony's men are all taken out. Unbeknownst to anyone, Maggie was the one who shot and saved Homer from the Mob.