| B. Alan Orange's Rating | Your Rating | ||||
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1
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Defiance"It gives the characters in Knocked Up a new set of bad ass jews to worship and idolize."
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4.0 Stars
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2
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Gran Torino"One of Eastwood's all-time bests. I loved every minute of it."
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5.0 Stars
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3
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Paul Blart: Mall Cop"Fuck off. I liked it. "
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4.0 Stars
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4
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My Bloody Valentine 3-D"Even without the 3D, this is still a great slasher flick. Harry Warden graciously earns a place next to Freddy, Jason, and Mike in the hallowed halls of stalker fame."
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5.0 Stars
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5
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Inkheart"A rip-roaring adaptation of Cornelia Funke’s beloved first novel. It will open your imagination and might even urge you to read a book. "
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3.5 Stars
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6
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Donkey Punch"Does for Sex on Boats in 2009 what Jaws did for Swimming in 1974. "
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5.0 Stars
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7
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Coraline"A stunning stop-motion masterpiece that ate at my eyes like a bad acid trip. Henry Selick and his crew have created another iconic piece of animation that will slowly nestle itself into the American cult subconscious."
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5.0 Stars
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8
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The Pink Panther 2"This live action cartoon brings Steve Martin back to his roots as a magician. He is able to pull some solid old school gags out of the banality of this dumb franchise. And that’s pretty amazing."
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3.5 Stars
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9
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Fanboys"A by-the-numbers road comedy that relies on age old Star Wars jokes. Luckily, it is shot through at warp speed, and its cast is incredibly likable. "
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3.0 Stars
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10
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Taken"A slammin' good time had by all. This is exactly what I want in a Drive-In movie. "
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4.5 Stars
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11
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Friday the 13th"Douche bag killer Jason Voorhees returns as a mean backwoods mongoloid with an array of archery trophies and a damn fine power walk. I wish we had more down time with him and less inane chatter from his potential prey. "
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4.0 Stars
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12
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Under the Sea 3D"A fully immersive experience that proves how valuable all this new 3D technology can be. It’s like an amusement park ride that allows you to get incredibly close to nature. And it will leave you soaking wet."
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5.0 Stars
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13
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Miss March"It grew on me like a bad venereal disease. It's not particularly funny, but something is compelling me to watch it again. "
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3.0 Stars
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14
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Fast & Furious"More enjoyable than the first three films combined. This franchise pulls itself out of a tight curve to delivery one of the funnest, trashiest films of the year!"
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4.0 Stars
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15
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Alien Trespass"A harmless little ode to true Drive-In sci-fi cheese. Too bad you'll probably never see it. "
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3.5 Stars
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16
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The Objective"Spooky! The ending left me baffled, but I enjoyed it's unnerving ways. "
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3.5 Stars
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17
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Eleven Minutes"A fascinating look at one truly lazy asshole, proving that personality can out way artistry and commerce. "
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4.0 Stars
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18
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Edge of Love"One of the greatest untold love triangles gets a pretty good little movie and a great ensemble cast."
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Not Rated
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19
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TOKYO!"A searing social commentary from three foreigners that looks deep into the dirty veneer of modern Japan. True fans of Godzilla will certainly love the second act. "
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4.5 Stars
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20
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American Violet"An eye-opening drama that brings a unique twist to the legal thriller. "
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Not Rated
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21
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The Last House on the Left"A brutal crowd pleaser that actually takes the original film upon which it is based and defines it for this generation. "
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4.0 Stars
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22
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Watchmen"An epic achievement that exceeds all expectations. While it will have diehard fans reeling with glee, others might be baffled. As one of my esteemed colleagues said: It is the Dune of graphic novel adaptation. "
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4.5 Stars
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23
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Sin Nombre"A heart pounding drama that will leave you writhing in your seat. "
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5.0 Stars
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24
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Phoebe in Wonderland"Elle Fanning gives a phenomenal performance. Sure. But it’s not something I would seek out on a Saturday night. This is not a fun movie. "
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4.0 Stars
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25
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Anvil! the Story of Anvil"A great documentary about a Canadian band struggling to live way past its prime. Funny as shit."
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5.0 Stars
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26
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Explicit Ills"Like a harmony Korine movie without the queer derangement. Too bad it turns into a message movie at the end."
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4.0 Stars
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27
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The Cake Eaters"A quiet, simple story that proves Mary Stuart Masterson has chops as a director. An excellent drama, it almost felt too...Short."
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4.0 Stars
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28
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Tokyo Sonata"Listen up, this might just happen to you!"
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5.0 Stars
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29
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Earth"A beautiful film, exciting and full of exotic life."
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5.0 Stars
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30
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Adventureland"If Superbad was a sixer of Shlitz, this is a fine malt whiskey. Its a little dry, but exceptionally poignant. "
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4.0 Stars
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