I missed tonight's live MTV Movie Awards show, but it wasn't my fault. I just now discovered that our former roommate tongued the cable guy for a free lifetime Charter hook-up. I said, "It's a shame I'm missing the MTV Movie Awards." The response was, "You know (name removed) made out with the cable guy. He turned the cable on for free." This was a couple of months ago. I was oblivious.

What did I miss as far as the 2007 MTV Movie Awards are concerned? Well, Will Farrell and Sasha Baron Cohen made out on stage. Host Sarah Silverman said a couple of naughty words, then made a bad joke about Paris Hilton going to jail. The crack was met with silence. And Jack Nicholson, while accepting his award for Best Villain, let the F-word drop. The one that ends in U-C-K. Those were the highlights.

The winners were, in no particular order:

Best Movie - Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Best Villain - Jack Nicholson in The Departed

Best Performance - Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Breakthrough Performance - Jaden Smith in The Pursuit of Happyness

Best Comedic Performance - Sasha Baron Cohen in Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

Best Kiss - Will Farrell and Sasha Baron Cohen in Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

Best Fight - Gerard Butler vs. The Uber Immortal in 300

Best Summer Movie You Haven't Seen Yet - Transformers

A couple of special awards were also handed out. Josh Greenbaum won the Best Filmmaker on Campus Award. United 300 won Best Movie Spoof. And Mike Myers took home the Generation Award.

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B. Alan Orange at Movieweb
B. Alan Orange