500 Days of Summer redefined rom-coms when it released, mainly because it's actually a coming of age story in disguise. It's a tale as old as time with some twists; boy meets girl, he falls head over heels, she makes the first move, and they're onto 500 days of a lot of drama. The film's atypical conclusion has made it a cult classic; it's a topic of discussion for romantics and realists alike but, was there ever a love story to begin with? Or is it a social commentary on the pitfalls casual dating can lead to. Here is why 500 Days of Summer is problematic.

Incompatibility

Tom and Summer in the elevator
Searchlight Pictures 

Tom and Summer are incompatible lovers. While Tom is a hopeless romantic that embellishes every quality in his partners, Summer is a nihilist when it comes to love. Nevertheless, they both refuse to see the truth. Tom showers Summer with affectionate gestures and a saturation of the word "love," Summer treats Tom like a casual partner and ignores the troublesome notions Tom feels over her. They share common interests such as their love for '80s music culture and cinema, but when it comes to relationship dynamics, they are complete opposites.

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Lacking Communication

Zooey Deschanel 500 Days of Summer
Fox Searchlight Pictures

From the beginning of their connection, Summer expresses that she does not want a serious relationship, she doesn't believe in love. In turn, Tom believes she'll change her mind. As the relationship continues, Tom ignores the lacking miscommunication between them; he asks Summer where she sees them in the relationship, she evades the question; Summer becomes progressively detached from the relationship, while Tom misinterprets every subtly from her as romance. On the retrospective, Summer constantly reassures herself by voicing that "We're happy right now, right?" Tom is transparent in his desire for a long term relationship, but Summer also chooses to believe he'll become accustomed to her dating lifestyle. Their relationship is destined to fail because it lacks a critical requisite: communication.

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Lacking Boundaries

500 Days of Summer split screen with Deschanel and Levitt
Fox Searchlight Pictures

Boundaries are a hallmark sign of any relationship, and Tom lacks any sense of them. From stressing his romantic views on Summer frequently, punching a guy when Summer clearly handles the situation without the need for his intervention, to every instance where Tom forces a label on their relationship, Tom hinders Summer's individuality. This extends beyond Summer. Shortly after their breakup, Tom goes on a date, spent entirely on talking about Summer, overstepping the boundary between a casual meeting to a draining experience for his date.

Romanticizing Reality

500 Days of Summer
Searchlight Pictures

Relationships require stability, clear communication, and a sense of reality to flourish. In Tom's perspective, love is something from classic rom-coms, books, and music, and he refuses to see the flaws partners, and notably, himself, may exhibit. Tom is overbearing, he smothers Summer with his romantic ideations, and he holds a self-defeating view towards intimacy. After spending their first night together, Tom immediately forgets the casualness of the encounter and envisions himself in one of the best romantic fantasies ever. The film highlights Tom's perspective through entertaining dancer numbers, but the reality is, Tom romanticizes his relationship with Summer so dramatically that he becomes an unreliable narrator.

Selfishness

A scene from 500 Days of Summer
Fox Searchlight Pictures

Tom and Summer are inherently selfish. Tom claims to love Summer but ignores most of her desires. Not only does Tom refuse to accept their differing romantic views, he becomes impulsive and borderline verbally aggressive when he pushes a label on their relationship. In retrospective, Tom is very transparent with his relationship wants, Summer ignores this when she prompts something more than friendship by kissing Tom in the office. Even when Tom becomes frustrated with their stagnant relationship, Summer continues dating Tom and inadvertently fuels his delusions. Their final moment together highlights this tenfold: Tom reacts disheartened that Summer finds love, and in turn, he remains alone. Summer expresses guilt over Tom's reaction, but when asked why she danced with him during her friend's party, Summer responds "Because I wanted to." As someone who clearly isn't over her, any embrace between Tom and Summer is unhealthy, including their very last conversation.

Self-Love

500 Days of Summer
Fox Searchlight Pictures

Both characters experience a coming-of-age story. Summer learns self-love by ending her dysfunctional relationship with Tom and opening her heart when she meets the stranger who later becomes her husband. Tom's journey, while more tumultuous, concludes with self-love as well, when he quits his job and pursues his actual career in architecture, focusing on building himself as an individual over a lover. The ending leaves viewers with the bittersweet notion that in meeting Autumn, Tom finally meets "The One," that his experiences with Summer are just stepping stones to finally having a "happily ever after" with the right person. While this satisfies the romantic audiences, it also undermines Tom's achieved character arc... making it an enjoyable but equally problematic film.