Peter Parker has a lot of turmoil in his life even outside of being the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. From losing both his parents and his father-figure in Uncle Ben, to on-and-off relationship issues with Mary Jane, to grieving the deaths of Gwen Stacy and friends-turned-villains like Harry Osborn. However, one constant who is always there for Peter to rely on, emotionally, is Aunt May.
Aunt May is one of the most important people of Peter's life, if not the most important, and her character has been introduced, and has had an important role in shaping Peter's character, in each of the Spider-Man film franchises. Each of the actresses that have portrayed Aunt May in the films has done a phenomenal job in creating a style of the character, yet still emcompassing the classic personality from the comic books. Here is how we rank every Aunt May performance from the Spider-Man films.
4
Marisa Tomei: MCU Spider-Man Trilogy
Throughout the MCU Spider-Man films, there are a ton of comments about how young and attractive Marisa Tomei's Aunt May is. While this is certainly true, she's also the most age-appropriate version of Aunt May in the films. At the start of Spider-Man: Homecoming, Peter is just 16-years-old. Having Aunt May and Uncle Ben be in their mid-70's while Peter is a teen, like we've seen with other films in the franchise, kind of puts too much of an age gap on the characters for them to be able to have extremely relateable conversations and understandings of each other. Keeping Aunt May in her late 40's-early 50's allows more of a parent-style age-gap.
Arguably, the only issues with Tomei's Aunt May are that she's written a little too quirky and cool. Her character gives off more of a big sister vibe than a guardian. She teaches Peter to dance, and how to talk to his crush, and of course she's worried when he doesn't come home by a certain hour. What's missing is that she never seems to have the emotional closeness that the two should share (and have shared in previous franchises). Some of that comes with Uncle Ben's story not really being revealed in the MCU. You never know though, her relationship with Happy could be setting up an Uncle Ben-style death scenario in Spider-Man: No Way Home.
3
Rosemary Harris: Sam Raimi's Spider-Man Trilogy
This ranking may be a little controversial, but Rosemary Harris' Aunt May just never connected with Peter the way some of the others have, which is unfortunate because she had the most movies and narrative opportunities to do so. She has a very grandmotherly feel, both in a good and not-so-good way. Most of this comes from her age, but casting older actors seemed to be a theme in the Raimi trilogy, considering Tobey Maguire was 27 in Spider-Man, playing a 17-year-old.
In much of the first film, Aunt May is still reeling from the death of Uncle Ben, so her detachment from Peter is understandable. She does have a cheesy but great scene with Peter after being hospitalized for an attack from Green Goblin, but these moments are rare throughout the trilogy. Spider-Man 2 set up an amazing opportunity for connection when Peter finally told her the truth about what happened to Uncle Ben. However, in a following scene, she chooses to ignore the opportunity for character growth, and dismisses it as "water under the bridge." Even though she was 77 when Spider-Man 2 came out, her rambunctiousness was appreciated when defending herself against Doctor Octopus (Alfred Molina) by giving him a nice smack on the head with her cane. Unfortunately, she was barely in Spider-Man 3.
2
Lily Tomlin: Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
Unfortunately, in Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, Lily Tomlin's Aunt May gets the least amount of screen-time of the bunch, but in her limited role, she is bad ass. Her support of Peter, who is deceased in this universe, is completely unwavering, even to the point of opening her home and all of her Peter's Spider-Man assets to the group of Spider-Heroes that need help. She's warm and welcoming, but also stern and strong. She has an extremely emotional scene upon meeting Peter B. Parker after the death of her Peter. She welcomes Miles into her home and even helps him create his own Spider-Man suit. She stands up for those she loves, and bravely defends her home against a smattering of Spider-Man villains. Here's hoping she gets more screen-time in Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse Part One.
1
Sally Field: The Amazing Spider-Man Films
Sally Field was the perfect happy medium between Rosemary Harris and Marisa Tomei. She's also probably the most talented actor of the bunch, having won two Oscars. She wasn't too old—avoiding any generational gap issues with Peter—and not too young. Field's Aunt May had the best connection with Peter and was able to have the tough conversations with him, including holding him responsible for his actions as well as bonding with him through the grief of losing Uncle Ben (Martin Sheen). She's the only live-action Aunt May where the chemistry could actually be felt on-screen. In fact, Field's chemstry with Andrew Garfield's Peter was one of the only things she loved about acting in the franchise. This was the only Aunt May that that felt like she was teaching Peter lessons about life and being the mother-figure he needed in hard situations, rather than leaving him to figure it out on his own or avoiding them all together. These moments of togetherness and support, even through hardships and uncomfortable discussions put Field's Aunt May at the top of the list.