It's true. We don't publish every story that comes across our desktops. But we publish most. What you are about to read are the most plausible, yet unpublishable, rumor stories that have come our way in recent months. What makes these stories so fascinating? They almost read like the real thing. Some are funny. Some are simple wish fulfillment created by bored fanboys with nothing better to do then pull one over on us. Here, for your enjoyment, are some entertainment stories that probably won't ever come true:
Story 1: Batman 3!
Headline: Is There More Joker for Batman 3?
Tagline: Christopher Nolan is sitting on unused footage that will make it into the next Dark Knight saga.
Story: "This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object." The horrible and false Batman casting rumors just won't let up. Now, there is another highly suspicious report lurking around that Christopher Nolan has been sitting on about ten minutes of unseen Joker footage, which he plans to incorporate into the next The Dark Knight sequel. This interesting, yet highly suspect bit of news comes from two "unreliable" (yeah, we said it) sources that are currently scurrying around the sound stages of Warner Brothers in some work-like capacity. We wouldn't even run this rumor, as it is a wild card at best. But after watching The Dark Knight, it is interesting to note the ambiguous nature of the Joker's parting scene. If you remember, and I'm sure you do (since you saw the film about fifteen times), he was left dangling at the end of a rope, never to be seen again.
Apparently, the new footage has the SWAT team seen at the end of The Dark Knight driving the Joker across town in a van, and then placing him in Arkham Asylum. There we see him sitting quietly, smiling like an insane maniac at the wall. The footage is apparently going to be incorporated into the opening scenes of the next film, and will feature some interaction with Christian Bale as Batman. There is no talk of CGI manipulation at this point. If you remember, Brian Singer did something very similar with unused footage of Marlon Brandon in 2006's Superman Returns. Add this to the fact that there are no deleted scenes included on the upcoming two-disc special edition DVD version of The Dark Knight, and you have to wonder if there is some outstanding truth to this particular rumor. There has to be some reason The Joker was left out of the "Truth" montage that ends the second film.
This information certainly sounds plausible. And its something that makes sense. If Nolan shot extra footage for the ending, during editing, he might have decided to keep it hidden until the third film, just so that Heath Ledger would get some face time during that next go around. Just remember, at this current moment, this is nothing more than a buzzing bit of noise. It is certainly a fun topic of discussion, if nothing else.
Story 2: Rise of Cobra!
Headline: Sgt. Slaughter and Refrigerator Perry To Make an Appearance in G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra
Tagline: The two real life heroes get some much needed face time in this upcoming action extravaganza.
Story: According to Dennis Quaid, who was recently seen making the rounds in support of his latest feature The Express, there will be two surprise cameos in G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra put there exclusively for hardcore fans of the 80s Hasbro toy line. It was later revealed via Sgt. Slaughter's own website that both he and former Chicago Bears defense lineman William "Refrigerator" Perry would be making an appearance in the film.
Like recent wink and nod cameos in the Marvel Superhero films, neither former sports legend will have a major impact on the plot. Sgt. Slaughter will appear in an early field-training sequence that takes place before any major action occurs. And Perry will be featured in a mess hall scene that has him seated next to Channing Tatum's Duke when they learn of a massive terrorist attack executed by C.O.B.R.A.
Insiders at Hasbro have hinted that special mail-in action figures based on the original Sgt. Slaughter and Refrigerator Perry dolls will be available in conjunction with the film's official toy line. G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra is set to storm theaters on August 7th, 2009.
Story 3: Jeepers Creepers vs. Supernatural!
Headline: The Winchester Brothers Do Battle in Jeepers Creepers 3: Cathedral!
Tagline: Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles' appearance will tie into the fifth season of Supernatural.
Story: Both Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles, who star as Sam and Dean Winchester on the CW hit Supernatural, have signed on for extended cameos in Victor Salva's upcoming horror sequel Jeepers Creepers 3: Cathedral. Their appearance will directly tie into the fifth season of their hit show sometime next year.
With Cathedral, Salva moves his monster movie into the Old West for an opening prologue that will find the ancestors of the Winchester brothers fighting the Creeper. The time line will then jump from the Old West to the end of the second film, where Gina Phillips will reprise her original role, twenty-three years older and dealing with the Creeper on a new feeding cycle.
In a season five episode of Supernatural, Sam and Dean will deal with a whole new Creeper, and the storyline will allude back to Cathedral's opening moments. Victor Salva is reportedly directing this particular episode.
Jeepers Creepers 3: Cathedral is currently in pre-production.
Story 4: Spider-Man 4!
Headline: New Spider-Man 4 Villains Revealed!
Tagline: Ben Kingsley, Jeffery Dean Morgan, and A.D. Miles are set to go toe-to-toe with Spidey!
Story: A whole plethora of upcoming villains have been announced for Sam Raimi's highly anticipated Spider-Man 4, which will be heading to theaters sometime in 2010. While a complete script has yet to be written, Raimi made it very clear in a recent interview that Dylan Baker would be returning as Dr. Curt Connors (aka The Lizard), and that the character actor would be applying practical make-up to bring the reptile to life instead utilizing CGI animation.
But listen up, true believers! The Lizard is not the only main villain this time out. As with Spider-Man 3, Raimi will be pitting his Spider-Man 4 against a number of evildoers. Ben Kingsley has recently signed onto the project as Adrian Toomes, otherwise known as The Vulture. Watchmen Jeffery Dean Morgan will make his second foray into the world of comic book adaptations playing wild game hunter Kraven. And in a surprisingly odd turn of events, David Wain regular A.D. Miles will be playing the obscure character of Arcade, a hitman with an unusual method of offing his victims.
Story details have not surfaced, but it is suspected that both Arcade and Kraven will only play a minor role in the plot. Stay tuned for more information as this story develops.
Story 5: Red State!
Headline: Danica McKellar Joins Kevin Smith's Red State
Tagline: The Wonder Years crush will take the lead in this upcoming thriller.
Story: Danica McKellar has signed on to star in Kevin Smith's upcoming thriller Red State. According to Smith's own website View Askew, McKellar is the first actress to be hired for the unbelievably gory horror movie.
In a recent interview, Smith stated, "Of course I had a crush on Winnie Cooper. Who didn't?" Kevin went on to explain that he has always wanted to work with the actress, and is particularly fond of her Math Doesn't Suck line of tutorial books that she has recently published. "Maybe she'll also help with our accounting department!" Smith joked. He then when on to note, "This is the Winnie Cooper we always imagined as a grown-up. We will see her do some very unWinnie-like things. You won't believe some of the words that come out of this girl's mouth."
While the Weinsteins have declined any involvement in the film, Kevin Smith is currently seeking independent financing. The film will begin shooting in late March or early April.
Story 6: Analyze What?
Headline: Al Yankovic and Beanie Sigel to star in Analyze What?
Tagline: The third in the popular Analyze This series heads straight to DVD.
Story: "Weird" Al Yankovic, best known for his decades spanning music parody career, and Rapper-turned-actor Beanie Sigel have signed on to star in the direct-to-DVD sequel Analyze What? for Warner Premier. The film won't be a direct continuation of the first two films, which starred Billy Crystal and Robert DeNiro, but it will tie into the franchise with very similar plot threads.
Yankovic, who first tried his hand at acting in the MGM cult hit UHF, takes on the role of Dr. Al Sobel, cousin to Crystal's original Dr. Ben Sobel. He is a wacky psychiatrist assigned to Vic Petralunga (Sigel), a notorious mob boss who is experiencing an acute anxiety disorder due to having a hit placed upon his head. Together, they work in bringing down the infamous Vitti Hills mob, which has ties to the NYPD. Yankovic and Sigel are also said to be collaborating on a theme song that will tie directly into the film.
Shooting stars in early January with a late summer release date. This is the first in a proposed trilogy of Analyze What? films meant for the home market.
Story 7: Little Darlings!
Headline: Selena Gomez and Miley Cyrus Team Up for Little Darlings
The Disney rivals go head-to-head in this raunchy remake.
Story: Selena Gomez and Miley Cyrus have decided to put their squabbles behind them to team up for a remake of Paramount's cult hit Little Darlings. According to an insider at Paramount, Matt Dillon and Tatum O'Neal, both stars of the original film, have been approached to play camp councilors in this reboot. It is not known at this time if they will be reprising their roles from the 1980 comedy, or if they will be playing completely different characters.
The premise will remain true to the original film, which saw two girls at summer camp competing to be the first to lose their virginity. Gomez will play spoiled rich girl Ferris, a part originally played by Tatum O'Neal. And Cyrus will play the tough tomboy Angel, taking over for Kristy McNichol. The film is shooting for a PG-13 rating, so you can expect it to be less graphic than the original R rated outing.
The film heads into production in March of 2009 for an early 2010 release date.