Coffee vs. Manowar? Whoop-doo!

Ripping into the chilly a.m. air, there are only two alternatives in shaking the nervous system awake. Caffeine and heavy metal. Nothing else will do the trick. But you must choose one. Manowar ride horses made of steel. Jaun Valdez rides a pack mule. Manowar fight off evil sorcerers with their guitars and drum sticks. Coffee burns the esophagus. Manowar is made of heroes who'll fight long into the night. Coffee is a perishable liquid that eventually drips from your urethra in shades of gold and green. Manowar will be around forever. On that note, Coffee will be too. Both have the ability to pep you up. And both can be quite tasty when given the right circumstances. But what do you get when you mix them both together?

Negropsy!Negropsy! The first and only Black Metal band from Oslo that is actually black. Consisting of four African-Norwegians, this quintet has been around since the church burnings of 1993. Though often shunned by their pale-skinned peers, they rock harder than most black metal groups still making original music at this late stage in the game. Their lyrics are far more misanthropically cryptic than the average Teen-era paganist, but where you might think their politics would swerve into the bl
Thelma Oliver!Thelma Oliver! Not only was this beautiful black actress the first woman to bare her breasts in a mainstream American film. Her body was so bodacious that it broke the back of the Production Code. Before the ratings system that we know today was in place, Hollywood stuck to a pretty strict set of conduct rules known largely as the Hays Code. Established in 1930, this mandate from above enumerated three basic principles: No motion picture was allowed to lower the moral standards of
Brotherhood of Death!{5}! I aint had this much fun since my father was eaten by a pig! What's more intrinsically satisfying than watching a Nazi get pounded by Indiana Jones? How about watching a Ku Klux Klan leader get torn limb-from-limb by an upstanding member of the community who's just trying to survive in this cruel world. No one makes a better villian than a member of the KKK, not even a Nazi (though the two are sometimes interchangeable). Because of their stated nature, and the power the
Miles Clark!Miles Clark! The first black person in 3D! You may have noticed that, despite everyone else jumping on the 3D bandwagon as of late, none of our prominent black directors or actors have taken up the cause. There are no 3D Denzel Washington films on the horizon. Tyler Perry isn't ensconcing himself in the genre. And Spike Lee has yet expressed any desire to update {8} in eye-popping dimensions of immersive color. Odd as that may seem, the first feature-length 3D film ever released in t
Philo Quartz!Philo Quartz! The first African-American caveman! There is some debate about this. Many view Sharon Stone (no, not that Sharon Stone, dummy; we're talking Halle Berry in {10}) as the first black denizen of Bedrock. At the time of that film's release, Berry made the press rounds, explaining how they originally wanted the real Sharon Stone for the role. There'd never been an African-American living amongst Fred and his family, let alone an ebony seductress in a strapless evening gown.

I hope this short journey through some of the lesser-known aspects of black entertainment has enlightened your February ride. Always remember: Eat food! Kill Grandma! Whoop-doo! And Philo Quartz.