Universal Pictures' Get Him to the Greek Music Video Contest? Boo!

Some people love him! Some people hate him! Some people leave him alone! Resident ghoul and schlock impresario Spooker Washington is currently holed up in his Haint House recording studio, finishing the last few tracks on his third feature length album Tarded, Once Again!. Though ol' fat and bones is keeping himself quite busy in his Oakridge Home, I proposed that he should enter Universal Pictures' Get Him to the Greek "Bangers, Beans, and Mash" cover competition. Which would see one lucky winner getting to attend the world premiere of that film alongside its stars Jonah Hill and Russell Brand.

Despite trudging through a raging East Nashville flood that saw most of his musical instruments damaged beyond repair, Spooker turned in, hands down, not only the best music video out of all the contestants (most of which you can see here), but also the most original cover rendition. Everyone else went for the same old boring straight version of the song. Mr. Washington changed it up according to his own personal plight in life at this moment in time. Though the original "Bangers, Beans, and Mash", written by How I Met Your Mother's Jason Segel, is quite the catchy little ditty in its own right (until you sit through all the video covers of it, which will make you want to shoot yourself in the face), Spooker, unlike every other contestant that entered the competition, brought something new and original out of the music. And, dare I say, he made it an even better song. One that speaks to our troubled nation in this time of socio-economic collapse. Isn't that what covers are supposed to do! Be better than the original?

Well, Washington dropped his song off before the announced entry date hoping to mingle under the whiskey drenched, smog-laden stars of Hollywood. Only to be slapped with a "banned" notice. It's not because he had a short introduction that was originally censored (his video met the needed time constraints). It's not because he changed the oh-so-precious words of the song (that was actually being encouraged, which the other contestants failed to realize). And it's not because brand labels appear on screen (none do). It's because he adhered to everything Get Him to the Greek is about: Sex, booze, drugs, and rock and roll. Yes, you heard that right. Spooker's video was disqualified because he's singing about 40s, Jim Beam, and Hash...

ALL OF WHICH SHOW UP IN THE THEATRICAL TRAILER! Seriously? What the fuck is wrong with America? Has it really come to this? Here is the rule Spooker broke and why he wasn't allowed to enter the competition:

The Video must not make any visual or audio references to alcoholic beverages, tobacco, drug paraphernalia, firearms, or any depiction or representation thereof, or be perceived as giving or threatening to give rise to criminal or civil liability, encouraging conduct that might constitute a criminal offense, or encouraging or providing instructional information about illegal activities.

Um? Okay. I've included the Get Him to the Greek theatrical trailer below, in which we see all of the following:

A vodka bottle. A champagne bottle. The physical attack of a cameraman, which is considered threatening and abusive behavior in a court of law. The consumption of a 22-ounce bottle of malt liquor. Public intoxication. More beer drinking. Sexual assault. Mass binge drinking. Public copulation. Physical and sexual assault. Bathroom sex. Dialogue that pontificates the pleasures of drinking Absinth, followed by scenes of the liquor being enjoyed. Vandalism. The injection of an adrenaline shot to wake a man out of a drug comma. More public intoxication. Vomiting while drinking mini bottles of alcohol. Vehicular attacks. And then, to top it all off, which certainly breaks the last line in Universal's totalitarian rule ("encouraging conduct that might constitute a criminal offense, or encouraging or providing instructional information about illegal activities"), we see Russell Brand instructing, then quite literally shoving a bag of dope/hash/weed up Jonah Hill's rather large bottom in an airport security line. All of this is in the green band "approved for all-audiences" trailer! Which can be viewed by anyone of any age! I'm not even going to touch the red band trailer, because this one here quite literally makes my point for me!

Spooker was banned from the Get Him to the Greek cover contest for pontificating on the sole subject matter of the film, which seems to be getting blitzed and shoving drugs up your ass. Though Mr. Washington's video doesn't even begin to scratch the surface that director Nicholas Stoller's comedy does in the two minute trailer alone.

Universal Pictures' Get Him to the Greek Music Video Contest can suck it! And without further adieu, here is Spooker Washington's banned, uncensored "Bangers, Beans, and Mash" music video, aptly retitled "40s, Jim Beams, and Hash!" If you like this particular cover, be sure to check out Spooker Washington's latest album Tarded, Once Again! Eat food! Kill Grandma! Whoop-doo! Let's go!:

B. Alan Orange