Creepshow 3 looked like it should have been something. Afterall, how hard is it to tell 4 or 5 horror stories an infuse some comedy into them? Lets be honest, the first two films in the series weren't the greatest things ever made but there was something about at them. They were gross in parts, the effects were well done, the stories were interesting on some level... the list goes on and on.
So how in the hell is Creepshow 3 so removed from that. The only part of this film that even resembles the other two are the opening moments (fleeting in their briefness), when it looks like this movie is going to tell its tell with the same comic book logic that other movies have. Then, out of nowhere, it goes into a South Park-like short film, and from there we get a story about a girl who turns into a blob, a guy who gets possessed by a radio, a woman (who might be man?) upended by a boy who's really a beast, a doctor who is killed by a homeless apparition and some kids who hack up their professors fiance because they think she's a robot. At least, I think that was the order.
Somehow, someway, the movie tries to tie this all together. It could be because the effects are poor, or it could be because the acting is horrendous, or it could be how badly this movie was shot (these three things are pieces of the horror genre that can actually make a poor movie good), but to say that Creepshow 3 is bad is an understatement.
This movie is awful.
"Making Of" Piece
This is a somewhat lengthy look at the making of this movie which might be better viewed before you watch the film. I say that because having seen the film, and then seeing this "Making Of" piece, the group I was with howled with laughter. From hearing the actors talk about their roles and the film's the visual effects, to hearing from the actual makers of this movie discuss their directing style, the most laughable moment was when Emmett McGuire said that Creepshow 3 was the best written film in the series. This man is either deaf, ignorant, or he's never seen the other films in the series, because other than the title there is nothing about this film that even resembles the Stephen King/George Romero creation.
Widescreen. Aspect Ratio: 1.66:1. At about the 45 minute mark of this movie we started debating what this film was shot on. Film or video? Video or film? It seems like we were trying to put together just why the movie was bad. It could have been the fact that this movie looked low budget, but we were all surprised by the amount of crew and high tech cameras that were in use in the "Making Of" segment. The colors in this movie seemed muted and overall, there just wasn't anything here. It almost seemed like the creators of Creepshow 3 had a vendetta against the film's fans and this is how they got back at them.
Dolby. The audio for this release was okay. There isn't a lot to say about it because it doesn't seem like Creepshow 3's creators went out of their way to do anything with it. The sound merely seems to accompany the images on screen and when scary music is employed, it isn't that scary because what's shown on the screen looks like an effect.
The front cover of this DVD looks great (which is probably why this movie was so disappointing). It features a comic book-like image of a tarot card reader, and in the cards are images from Creepshow 3's story. So far so good. Then, turn the cover over and you have images that tell you exactly what this movie is. Everything just looks inadequate. From the effects, to the characters facial expressions... its all bad. There is a description of what this DVD is about, a Special Features listing, a cast list and technical specs. Now I know why 90% of video rentals happen because of the DVDs packaging.
Now, if any of the makers of this film are reading this know that your film didn't go into this screening with the deck stacked against you. If anything, you got one of your most receptive audiences. We blocked out a night to watch this film. We waited until all our schedules aligned and American Idol was over. We ordered food and sat down in front of a 50" TV in the hopes that a horror movie from our past had been resurrected in this new installment. Sadly, less than 10 minutes in we started to stir. Questions were raised, thoughts bandied about, but there still seemed like there was hope for this movie. Even thirty minutes in, we still weren't letting go. People were talking more freely now but there were still great gaps of silence. Those long moments where it seemed like if we worked really hard, we could somehow get back into the flow of this movie.
As each section of the film unspooled through the DVD player, things got worse and worse. We started making jokes. We asked more questions. Eventually, someone even said, "I love how we're not even watching the movie anymore." However, the thought of taking it out of the player never entered our minds. We kept watching and watching, hoping that something would happen that could possibly restore Creepshow 3 to its former glory.
It never happened.
If you are a fan of this franchise prepare to have all your expectations, all your memories, all your everything about these films... compromised. It is my hope that Creepshow 3 shames someone other than its current creators into making Creepshow 4, because something has to redeem this franchise.
Dont't forget to also check out: Creepshow 3