We get the lowdown on this highly anticipated Scott Smith adaptation from none other than the dastardly plant himself

This week, Carter Smith's highly anticipated adaptation of Scott Smith's best selling novel The Ruins is hitting theaters across the country. The film follows a group of friends vacationing in Mexico. Their Cancun holiday takes a twisted turn towards the macabre when they find themselves trapped on an ancient ruin by a killer vine hungry for blood. It's a pulse-pounding thrill ride that will leave you out of breath by the time its startling, unpredictable ending rolls to a close.

We recently spoke with Carter Smith about his directorial duties on the project. Now, with most of the cast dismembered and desecrated, we've had to track down the film's killer plant to get any sort of scoop on the subject matter at hand. Here, giving what I believe is his first interview, is Osvaldo The Killer Vines.

Here is the audio from our interview:

From what I understand, some people are a little intimidated by you? Do you feel at all typecast by this film The Ruins?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: Well, no, because...Maybe what happened was, usually I am a decoration. You know? They will have me growing on the side of a house, or something like that. But in this film? My agent, he tells me, "Hey, maybe you want to break out a little." So I did this film. Maybe it is not type casting. Maybe I was being type cast when they had me growing on the side of a house, or over a tree, or something. You know?

Now, from what I understand, the book was actually based on one of your second cousins? Did you get to speak to him about this project? Or is he still out there killing people?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: Well, my second cousin is already twice removed. We don't know that much about him. His first cousin got chopped down. After that, we kind of lost contact. You know?

So, you don't have any clue where he is at?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: Well, we haven't seen him in a long time. I imagine he is probably growing somewhere.

Do you know if your second cousin got in contact with the director about this film, or if he got in contact with the author before he wrote the screenplay?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: You know, I don't really know that much about him. Like I said, I haven't really spoken with him or had any contact with him in quite a while.

Did you read the book The Ruins before diving head first into this production as an actor?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: Well, you know, my agent told me that maybe I should read the book. But I don't really read that well, cause I don't have eyes, you know?

I wasn't aware that you didn't have eyes. You bring up a good point. How did you seek out these kids to chop them up and cut off their limbs?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: Well, I have a lot of different senses. Its like, when you can't see, you pull up your other senses. Like my sense of feel. I can feel a lot. So, these kids come near me and I get enraged. And I kill them. You know? It is very simple.

Now, you don't actually kill kids. You are just an actor in a movie, right?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: Well, you know. That's what they told me anyway. Yeah, I am just an actor. But it seemed very real to me.

There are a lot of other killer plant films out there. Did you ever look towards other killer plants such as Twoey (Audrey Two) from Little Shop of Horrors or Biolante from Gojira vs. Biorantefor acting inspiration?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: Well, you know, as far as I'm concerned, Twoey is a pussy, man. You know? I can't look to that guy for inspiration. He's stuck in a basement. I grow everywhere. I'm outside in the jungle, man. You know, anyone can grow in a basement.

From what I understand, he had someone's hand up his ass for the entire duration of that movie, too.

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: He probably did. Which would totally prove my point. He is just a big pussy, okay.

What about Biolante, the giant rose from the Godzilla movie?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: Anybody that is a rose? Well, that sort of speaks for itself. I've got to give him credit, though, for going against Godzilla. But hey, he's still a pussy.

Now, what if some Japanese producers come to you and tell you that they loved your performance in The Ruins. And that they want you to go up against Godzilla in his next outing. Would you take that role?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: I'm not a big fan of Japanese food. I don't know if I want to go over there and eat, like, their people or something. Cause, like I said, I'm not a big fan of Japanese food. You know? I like Mexican food. Huh, Holmes? You know?

Do you also drink the tequila and the Corona over there?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: They pour it on my roots. The tequila? Yeah, it kind of gets me a little messed up, if you know what I am saying? Hey, Vato?

Yeah, I know what you are saying. But isn't it a little racist to say that you won't eat Japanese people?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: I don't know if it's racist, because I don't have a race. You know? I will eat anybody. But these Japanese people? I don't like sushi, okay? I don't know if you have a problem with that, but I don't like sushi. Is that okay with you, Holmes?

What was it like working with the director Carter Smith?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: Oh, it was fantastic. I love Carter. He is, like, a great director. It is very, very humbling to be working with this Vato. Do you know what I am saying?

Do you consider this one of the best roles you've had so far in a film?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: I would say. I'm usually in the background, you know? I am usually just sitting there, maybe, just taking up some space. On a movie set, I'm not really doing that much. So, yeah. This film role was very, very challenging to me. I really got to stretch out, you know?

Let me ask you...I hear you got into a spot of trouble partying with some of the younger cast members while shooting in Cancun?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: Well, yeah. I am centuries old, you know? I have been around a long time in the ruins. So when I see a girl, I go crazy man. What do you want? I drink a little tequila, I party with some young girls. Of course I'm all over the tabloids. Right, Holmes? You know what I'm saying, Holmes?

Yeah. Did that ever make for any uncomfortable moments on set?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: You know, it was just maybe the pain of the hang over. Maybe that was the worst part of it. But, no. I don't regret anything that I did with any of these young girls. Okay? You can put that on record, okay Holmes?

Were they ever uncomfortable with you coming back to the set?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: Oh, no. They love me. They love me, Holmes. I got a way with them young girls, Holmes. I go out all over the place. I grow. I got a lot of stretching going on. I can expand, you know? So, they really love me, man. They ask me for my number.

From what I understand, there is some pretty gory stuff in this film. I heard through the grapevine that you didn't do so well with some of the more squeamish stuff on set. Can you extrapolate on that at all?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: Well, I don't know how you heard it through the grapevine, because we don't talk to grape vines, man. Because we don't consider them that worthy of talking to us. But, you know, let me tell you something, Holmes. All that stuff you see on screen is Hollywood movie magic. Okay? There ain't nothing on there but corn syrup. I'm not too down with corn syrup, cause I don't really like corn.

Now, as we can tell from this interview, you really can talk. In the book, your cousin also happened to be a talking plant. Carter Smith has decided to cut that segment out of the film, so we don't actually see your character talking on screen. How did you feel about that decision? To not have your voice heard in this film?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: Well, what they said was, maybe they could try and get rid of my accent. Now, I am proud of my accent. They said, "No, you've got to drop it." And I tried very hard to drop it. I tried for a couple of months. I had a speech coach and a voice therapist. But I couldn't get through it, man. So, anyway, Carter is a genius. He said to me, "Holmes, just chill Vato. What I am going to do is make it so you don't have to talk. You won't even have to speak in this film." I said, "Yo, Carter, that is pretty hip, man. So go ahead and do that." He said, "Okay."

Have you seen the finished film yet?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: Oh, of course I've seen it. It is what we call brillante! Brilliant, you know?

So, even though you don't have eyes, you are a big fan of the film. You like hearing yourself on screen?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: Of course I love it! I am in it! Why would I not be a fan of my own work? I mean it, Vato! This film is great! Yeah!

Did Carter let you improvise at all on set?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: He said, maybe, like, grow to the left. Around her leg. And I said, "Hey, Carter, why don't I grow up in-between her legs?" You know? Something like that, maybe. He would tell me to go this way, and I would go that way. Like I said, Carter is a very good director, so he would tell me where it was that I needed to go and stuff. It was very cool.

Did you ever get in touch with the author of the book and the screenplay, Scott Smith?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: You know? I don't know what Scott's deal is, but there was this dweeb looking guy walking around on set, you know? They said, "That is Scott Smith." I said, "Who the Hell is Scott Smith?" They said something like, "Hey, Vato, chill. That is the author of the book." I said, "I can't read, man! Are you trying to make fun of me because I can't read?" So, I don't know who this guy is. But, whatever.

I'm about to wrap this up. What are your plans for the future? What are you looking to do next?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: You know? My career is constantly growing. So what I'm doing is, I'm going to reach out and I'm going to grow into my next role. It will probably be something a little less violent. You know? I've been reading some scripts. They had me posing as a street thug. I said, "Hey, Vato, that's a little bit of a stretch, man. Especially for me being a street thug." But let me tell, I am definitely reading scripts right now. And my agent's phone is going to be ringing off the hook after this film.

There seems to be a little rumor going around the internet that you are going to be appearing in the fourth Friday film with Ice Cube and Chris Tucker. Is there any truth to that?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: I have heard rumors of that, but I am not really at liberty to speak of that. I can tell you this. Ice Cube is a big pussy. He is a big sell out. That is what I have to say about him now. Chris Tucker? He's my boy. You know what I am saying? He has been straight up since day one. Cube came out like a gangster but turned into a Disney punk.

Have either one of them approached you about being in the film?

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: Let me tell you something, Vato. You get up to my level, you have your people talk to their people. We haven't spoken in person yet. I saw Chris out at a club one night. You know? He was hitting on some chicks. I said, "Hey Chris? What is up?" But that's about as far as it went. Huh, Homey?

Okay. I got you. That about wraps up my time. Thanks for talking to me, and I am really looking forward to seeing your movie this week.

Osvaldo The Killer Vines: Alright, Vato. Peace!

The Ruins opens this Friday, April 4th, 2008

Cinemark Movie Club
B. Alan Orange