Harry Potter fans who have been wishing for J.K. Rowling to write another book may be in luck with a new story written by Botnik Labs' predictive text algorithm. The new story is called Harry Potter and The Portrait of What Looked Like a Very Large Pile of Ash and many fans are already celebrating and claiming that it's far superior to the Cursed Child and Fantastic Beasts. The new text was just released and it's already starting to gain the attention of hardcore Potter fans who have been clamoring for new adventures that they can get their hands on.
Botnik Labs took all seven of the Harry Potter books and input them in a computer and then used their predictive text algorithm to write a new saga for the Harry Potter franchise and the results are pretty hilarious. Screen Junkies had the Honest Trailer's Epic Voice guy narrate the new story, which also helps to make the story move in a way that you wouldn't expect. The 5-minute video is full of nonsensical Harry Potter awesomeness that doesn't even come close to making any kind of logical sense.
Harry Potter and The Portrait of What Looked Like a Very Large Pile of Ash begins with some "magically magnified wind" after the sky snarled and the sky was like a black ceiling that was covered in blood. Things only get weirder after that when the only sound that could be heard is Hagrid's furniture making "shrieks" in disdain. Elsewhere, Harry Potter rips out his eyeballs and throws them into the forest in a move that makes Voldemort raise his eyebrows in confusion, which is weird for many reasons, but Voldemort doesn't have eyebrows.
Things only get weirder as Hermione puts her face in mud and Ron notices a door knob and exclaims that it's locked. Mountains of mice explode and later, pumpkins fall out of McGonagall while magic is apparently something that Harry Potter thought that was very good. Ron is a slow moving bird, which Harry doesn't want to talk about and then Ron realizes that he's going to be spiders and he's not very pleased with the transformation. The nonsense is hilarious all the way through and the accompanying video with stellar narration makes it a perfect blend of out of control weirdness and even more weirdness.
Robots writing stories is nothing new, but they have a long way to go before they replace J.K. Rowling's brilliant storytelling. Harry Potter and The Portrait of What Looked Like a Very Large Pile of Ash is perfect for Potter heads with a good sense of humor and should not be taken seriously at all, but don't tell the computer that wrote it about any criticism, we want to remain on the good side of the computers when they eventually take over the world. You can check out the latest story in the Harry Potter franchise written by a robot below, courtesy of Screen Junkies' YouTube channel.