Movie Picture

Bloody Hell!

Although my perch on Mt. Purgatory provides an excellent view of Development Hell, there are a few drawbacks to the location.  One of these drawbacks became quite apparently a few weeks ago.  It seems that normal medical people are quite reluctant to make cave-calls, much less send an ambulance.  Since they wouldn’t bring the hospital to the mountain, I was forced to bring the patient to the hospital.  All I can say is that it was a very, very long crawl!  However, as soon as I arrived, they promptly removed my appendix and freed it for a life of it’s own, where it can torment someone else.  So I’m sorry I missed a few weeks of In Dev-Hell-opment, but I’m finally back from the land of colorful hallucinations.  At least I hope so.  It’s hard enough to figure out what’s real around here...

Third Eye Blind fans will be thrilled to hear that singer Stephan Jenkins has signed up to star in Art of Revenge.  He will play an ambitious designer who leaves his wife for a string of young babes when he makes it big.  The twist involves his wife seeking revenge by training a woman to be his ideal mate so she can tear him down.  Sounds positively evil!  I wonder if Glen Close is available...

AICN has a rumor that Revolution Studios will announce a 75 million dollar adaption of famed Mad Magazine comic Spy vs. Spy.  Marcos Siega is rumored to direct filming in Prague from a script by Daniel Waters.  The comic featured a good and evil spy struggling against each other in classic Coyote Vs. Roadrunner fashion, but without dialog.  It will be interesting to see how Waters handles the pointy-featured leads lack of verbosity.  However, there should be plenty of explosions for you THX fans.

Warner Brothers has finally given a greenlight to the SF feature The Fountain.  Oddly enough, the movie has been filming in Australia since October.  Darren Aronofsky is directing Brad Pitt as a man dealing with love, death and immortality in the present as well as 500 years in the past and the future.  This is also the project that is responsible for the hideous beard Pitt has been sporting lately.  But Mrs. Pitt, Jennifer Aniston, claims that she likes the beard.  She was then rushed to the hospital for emergency rhinoplasty...

Cult-fan favorite Bruce Campbell is currently filming To -, an adaption of Edgar Allan Poe’s poem, Hatred Of A Minute.  The film is a gothic tale of mystery and murder set against the backdrop of a tragic love story.  Campbell describes the film as “the first truly independent psychedelic, psychological thriller of the 90’s.”  I think I know how they are achieving the psychedelic part, if Campbell still thinks it’s the 90’s...

Neil Gaiman, yet another cult-fave, posted an announcement on his official site about the film adaptation of his latest work, Coraline.  Henry Selick is onboard as writer/director for Bill Mechanic’s Pandemonium films.  Disney will distribute the Michelle Pfeiffer starring release.

If you’re into Van Dammage (and who isn’t,) you’ll be glad to know that his current project, the aptly named Hell, has received a plot!  The story involves Van Damme being sent to a prison after killing his wife’s murderer.  The prison is on an island surrounded by crocodile-infested waters.  And the evil guards organize fights between the prisoners.  Ok, maybe plot is too strong a word.  How about a loose concept?  A vague story?  A pathetic excuse for a bunch of fighting?

David S. Goyer is working overtime to finish up Blade 3, while prepping to direct the film version of Jeffrey Long’s novel, The Descent.  The story involves a scientific expedition trying to tunnel six miles into the earth.  The trouble starts when they find creatures that gave rise to the popular myths about Hell.  Hmmm.  It’s starting to look like one hell of a week...

Blade himself, Wesley Snipes, is in talks to star in Intermedia’s Godforsaken project.  The film will have Snipes as a hit man who discovers he has leukemia.  His response is to sever all relationships and put a contract out on himself, which seems like a ridiculously complex way to commit suicide.  Anyone want to bet that he finds out that the leukemia diagnosis was incorrect?

Oscar-winning scribe Ben Affleck is negotiating to write Gone, Baby, Gone and may direct the feature as well.  The story is based on Dennis Lehane’s novel Gone, which is part of a series of mysteries involving a pair of Boston PI’s.  As usual, Paramont hopes to turn this into another franchise for Affleck.  That gives Affleck three potential franchises counting Daredevil and the Jack Ryan series.  I’m already getting tired of Ben-boy...

Sci-Fi Channel reports that Jerry Bruckheimer is producing a time-travel project entitled Red World.  The story is described as the converse of The Terminator.  It’s told from the point of view of a cop who lives in the future, comes back in time to change things and then returns to the future to see if what he did works.  And, it’s a love story.  Sounds more like The Terminator meets Groundhog Day...

Amy Smart recently discussed her new film, The Butterfly Effect, with Sci-Fi Channel.  The time-travel adventure centers around a man who tries to manipulate history, with disastrous results for his loved ones.  Smart plays four different versions of the same character: a sorority girl, a heroin-junkie prostitute, a depressed waitress and a natural hippie.  There’s no explanation for the movies title, but you might remember that Ray Bradbury’s A Sound Of Thunder is in development.  That time-travel flick involves a trip to the past where a hunter steps out of bounds and crushes a butterfly, causing massive changes in the time stream.  Who would have thought butterflies were so important?

Paramount Pictures has picked up a spec script entitled Wrecked from former development exec Steven Gilder.  The story is described as a sexy thriller set against the backdrop of treasure hunting in Bermuda.  It involves a husband and wife who accidentally discover sunken treasure and end up in all kinds of trouble.  Sounds like The Deep meets, well, The Deep.  Based on her revealing performance in Spider-Man, I humbly suggest Kirsten Dunst to pick up the wet T-shirt mantel from Jacqueline Bisset.

Fox is set to develop yet another Michael Crichton novel as a blockbuster.  The rights to Prey went for close to five million, according to Variety.  While the plot to the yet-to-be-released book is being kept secret, it is said to involve nanotechnology.  Since many of Crichton’s novels are about technology-gone-bad, you can probably guess who’s the predator and who’s the prey...

Sequel Hell:

David S. Goyer claims to be shifting story ideas for Blade 3.  Since Goyer is also working on Will Smith’s I Am Legend, he decided to shift the Blade 3 story from a world run by vampires to a story based on the vampires outing Blade to the rest of the world, which results in humans hunting Blade because they think he’s a crazed monster.  I Am Legend, of course, has been adapted before as the The Omega Man - the story of the last human in a world where everyone has turned into vampire-like creatures.  Oh, goody!  Here comes another generation of Goth’s...

While on promotion for Signs, M. Night Shyamalan met with Sci-Fi Channel and discussed the possibility of Unbreakable 2.  Shyamalan discovered a lot of Unbreakable fanatics during screenings of Signs, which he describes as ‘ a little cult thing.’  Shyamalan has mentioned in previous interviews that Unbreakable was envisioned as a trilogy and appears to be considering at least one sequel.  Of course, isn’t everything envisioned as a trilogy or franchise these days?  And we had such high hopes for Shyamalan...

TV and TV Adaption Hell:

Who knows what’s up on the Stargate SG-1 front?  Various reports have been surfacing over the last few weeks.  One report claims that a script for a feature film has been submitted and is currently in rewrites.  Another report claims that MGM has told the actors they would be free for conventions after season six concludes, possibly indicating that a feature film would not occur.  And yet another report hints about the possibility of a seventh season.  Then Dean Devlin chimed in with his desire to develop sequels to the original film.  However, Devlin doesn’t think it’s a likely possibility.  We’ll keep watch to see if anyone can “dial in” a few facts...

Hey, Hey, Hey!  It’s Forest Whitaker discussing Fat Albert’s fate with FOX News.  Although Whitaker himself was excited about the project, Bill Cosby felt that the characters were not the way he conceived them, which led to Whitaker leaving the project over creative differences.  The project has now been “postponed permanently.”  I guess that’s PC for dead as a doornail...

MTV talked with Todd Phillips about his upcoming directing gig, Starsky and Hutch.  Phillips confirmed that Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson are near to joining the project, which is planned to start filming by the end of the year.  The story is something of an origin story and predates the original TV Show.  He also indicated that the story would focus more on comedy and less on action.  Snoop Doggy Dog is interested in playing the streetwise informant, Huggy Bear.  So we know “What It Is.”  Now if we only knew why it is...

The Associated Press has announced that that NBC is planning a TV movie about the recent years of Martha Stewart's life.  Prepare yourself to be quilted, gilded and labeled sometime next season.

And that’s a Good Thing.  Not!  ~Lee

Brian B.