Hey, Paulington! Is a Cinephile advice column that looks at life, love, and the movies. Anyone can send in a question, and Paulington will answer it. Sure, it's a really cryptic, cliched concept that has been around since the dawn of time. But we're spicing it up a little bit. Topics can range from anything: Sex, violence, haints and taints, your favorite movie! Paulington doesn't care. He's basically doing it for a paycheck. He's not really an expert on anything. But he sure does know a lot about movies and human nature. You can send your questions to:

Hey, Paulington!

And he will be sure to answer all of your emails in a very timely manner. Here are this week's letters. Enjoy!

Hey, Paulington!

I hear Avatar is getting re-released this summer. How the hell is that possible when there is already a shortage of 3D theaters available for the other twenty-three 3D films coming out in 2010. Signed ~ 2D Bitch

Dear 2D Bitch. 20th Century Fox and James Cameron are currently looking to lock a re-release window that isn't shared by another big 3D release. Which is going to be difficult, but not that hard. At this time, August is pretty void of 3D fare. If James and his team plant their flag in that firm ground, other's eyeing the landscape may scutter towards September or October. We'll get Step Up 3D on August 6th and Pirhanna 3D on August 27th, but that's it. Cameron can squeeze his little blue fairy fable in the middle of that cinematic mess for a limited two week run. Add to this the fact that our major theater chains are hurrying to erect a record number of 3D screens by the end of the year, and it all seems quite possible. The real question you should be asking is, "Why now? Why so soon?" Avatar is still in theaters. We can go see it right now if we want. In 3D. Sure, the IMAX screens have all been handed off to Alice n Wonderland, but the IMAX schedule is locked for the foreseeable future. There's no way Avatar is going to find its way back onto that format anytime soon. So why announce a re-release this early in the game? How can anyone get excited about an August or September release date when the damn things still so readily available? 3D TV is coming soon, too. A re-release at this point in the game seems absolutely pointless. I haven't seen the movie yet. And I'm not salivating at the idea of seeing it in the midst of a heat wave. Avatar feels like winter. If Cameron is going to do a real re-release, he should wait until next Thanksgiving. When it might mean something. This re-release noise is just a promotional tool being used to cover its loss at this year's Oscar ceremony.

Hey, Paulington!

I know you are a Haim Fan. So where's the tribute? What are your thoughts on his death. What is your favorite Haim film and Why? Signed ~ Lucas

Dear Lucas. It's hard to choose one favorite Haim film, but I'll go with License to Drive as the one I've seen the most times. In his passing, I hope that Haim is not remembered as a drug addled has-been, but as a true icon in genre filmmaking whose work is on par with Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing (seriously: Vampires, werewolves, A mutant Golden Retriever, abusive parents, time travel, body-switching, and Chev Chelios? The kid saw it all). As any regular reader knows, we're all quite huge Corey Haim fans here at the site. Sometimes fanatically so, as evident by our copious stories on him and his on-screen soul mate Corey Feldman. Personally speaking, both Coreys were idols of mine. We were the same age and I was weaned on their films as a teenager. I must have seen The Lost Boys fifty times over the course of 1987. After that, neither party could do no wrong. I'm a Virgo. True to nature, I'm very loyal to the things I love. And I did love the Two Coreys. As a fan, I stuck with them through thick and thin. It didn't matter what movie they appeared in, together or separate. I'd rent it. When DVDs hit, I bought their entire collection as soon as the films were released. Even Meatballs 4 and Snowboard Academy. The only time I flinched was when Feldman had the nerve to drag a "Fake Haim" into Rock 'N Roll High School Forever. One of the highlights of my job has been getting to promote both Coreys latest projects as they moved away from their previous scandals and career plateaus. Both actors have had a resurgence of late. Because of that, I've been given the opportunity to interview them both on occasion. Despite the harsh words sometimes thrown his way, Feldman is always a gentlemen and a pleasure to chat with. He's funny and cool. And my heart goes out to him for his loss. Haim, maybe a bit cockier, was also a very cool and giving dude. Meeting him for the first time was a highlight. Though a bit sad, as you could tell he was facing some mighty powerful inner demons that refused to go away. Despite Feldman's cry on Larry King the other night that folks didn't show any admiration for Haim until after his passing, I like to think we did our part in appreciating the actor while he was alive. We were all quite saddened by the news of his passing on Wednesday morning. But like many, it didn't come as a surprise to me. And that may have buffered my emotions towards his death. We'd recently done an interview with Haim for his upcoming film American Sunset, which we were holding until closer to release. Instead of doing a video montage or a write up on the actor, we felt we'd share this unseen video with fans as a tribute to the work he was doing at this point in his life. It was a treat to me, because I hadn't yet seen the interview. Like any true Coreys fan, I am deeply saddened that we'll never get to see the actor move towards better days. Though in his death, I like to believe he's finally arrived at some peace. Still, what I wouldn't give to see one last Corey and Corey big screen epic. Maybe in heaven. I'll always remember the first time I ran into him. He was selling some personal memorabilia. I bought an 8x10 color still from the film License to Drive, which he'd been holding onto for quite some time. He signed it for me, and as he scribbled out his name in silver sharpie marker his eyes stopped upon his unblemished face. He pulled the pen back and waved at the former image of his younger self with that trademark cockeyed Haim smile, "Good-bye, little guy!" Yes, indeed. Good-bye, little guy. You'll be missed.

Hey, Paulington!

I am an avid DVD collector that just got into buying Blu-ray discs. I take pride in my collection. I get every big new movie out there on the Tuesday that they are released. My girlfriend recently started a new job, and she bragged to one of her co-workers that I had the film World's Greatest Dad on Blu-ray. They want to borrow it. I said no, and now I'm in the dog house. I don't know these people. Or if I will ever get this disc back. But my girlfriend is calling me a jerk. What should I do? Should I give in and let her take the Blu-ray to work? Or stand my ground? Signed ~ Whistle Beaten

Dear Beaten. Never, ever loan your precious DVDs out to anyone. You'll never get them back. And if you do, they'll be scratched to hell. The worst part is, you always have to ask for them back. People borrow shit and never intend to return it. They don't have to pay the three dollar rental fee, but you're out twenty or more dollars. Sure. More folks should see and appreciate Bobcat Goldthwait's hilarious ode to suicide. But come on, you're not doing anyone any favors by loaning this disc out. Tell you girlfriend to eat a dick (preferably yours). Otherwise, you'll end up having this conversation: "Did you get my disc back?" "No." "Can you ask if they are going to return it." "They will. I don't want to ask. That's rude." Good-bye disc. I've said this before and I will say it again. DVDs and Blu-rays are garbage. Save yourself time and trouble. Rent the movie or catch it on your Netflix cue. It will save you a lot of money, aggravation, and trouble in the future. And you'll never have to work about loaning out your discs again. Right now, though, you own the disc. Tell your girlfriend to give you a deposit. If they return the disc unscratched, she can have her money back. Simple as that.

Send your questions about love, life, and the movies to:

Hey, Paulington!

Hope you have a great week! See you next time. (If you click on the big red letters, you will be taken to an email address where you will be able to leave your questions.)

B. Alan Orange