A baby calf was born in Kerrville, Texas and it looks just like KISS front man/bass player Gene Simmons. The calf now named Genie was born last Friday and right away everybody started to notice the unmistakable likeness to Mr. Simmons. This is the latest news from the legendary, aging rocker who recently tried and failed to copyright the devil horn hand gesture that looked more like "I Love You" in American Sign Language then something sinister when Simmons used the hand gesture on stage.
WGRZ News reports that Genie was born to a ranch that supplies meat to the Cowboy Steak House in Kerrville, Texas. Reportedly the owners weren't expecting Genie's 30-year old mother to give birth again, but she did and the baby looks exactly like Gene Simmons. Heather Taccetta, a waitress at the steak house said, "As soon as we saw her, we noticed the resemblance immediately." Apparently, it's pretty rare for calves to be born with such distinct markings or "motley face" as Tacetta called it, which is weird because Simmons is in KISS not Mötley Crüe, though the body shape of the baby calf is pretty similar to Vince Neil.
As it turns out, Genie shares more than just her looks with Gene Simmons, but she also has a long tongue that she sticks out all day long, more so than any other of the calves at the ranch. The similarities are growing every day, so much so that a paternity test may be in the near future for Mr. Simmons. A quick look at KISS's tour itinerary puts Mr. Simmons in Tijuana, Mexico on November 19th, 2016 for the last date of the Freedom to Rock Tour, which of course is not very far from Texas, especially when you own your own jet.
Gene Simmons has yet to make an official statement, but rest assured his lawyers might have a thing to say about the curious incident. Even if Simmons is not the father of the calf, he will more than likely try to copyright it and make KISS Steaks to sell to his adoring fans who will no doubt pay whatever money that they can to eat a KISS Steak. Rumor has it that the rock singer has already started to try and get a patent on KISS steak knives, so steaks will undoubtedly be next to be shown next to the $85 dollar t-shirts at the merchandise stand on the next tour.
As previously stated, Gene Simmons has not made an official statement about Genie yet and until legal action is required, the Cowboy Steak House will not serve Genie to customers. She will instead be used as the mascot for the steak house, which is sure to bring in some rockers who want to get their pictures taken with Genie the calf who looks an awful lot like Gene Simmons of KISS. For those who cannot make it out to Kernville, Texas to see Genie, you can just check out some of the pictures below.
So, I just met the Gene Simmons calf. Apparently this calf is already viral at 4 days old. Day = made. pic.twitter.com/UbcQDGuZOD— J.Karre (@jacob_karre) August 1, 2017