Trashy reality television is seen by some as a blotch on the entertainment landscape, and by others as simply a mindless release that does exactly what it says on the tin — entertain. Love Island is a show that pitches attractive singletons together in a luxury, all-inclusive villa in Mallorca, and it’s fair to say it’s a program that throws up quite the drama.
Fake tans, veneers, hairless chests, and surgically enhanced busts, the cynics in most of us will decipher that this isn’t really a show about love at all, and more about self-interested individuals looking for fame, sweatshop brand deals, and that blue tick on Instagram. While Love Island embodies everything that is wrong with Gen Z, it does thrust some very amusing contestants into the spotlight, so here are some of the best islanders to have graced the divisive show…
8 Davide Sanclimenti
Davide Sanclimenti… mama mia! Branded the “Italian Stallion,” this man had even the straightest men doubting their sexuality. With a body carved from Roman bronze and an outrageous Italian accent that had the girls weak at the knees, his relationship with his “mi amore,” Ekin-Su, was as turbulent as a flight going over the Italian Alps. Known for repeatedly calling his other half “An actress and a liar,” and fashioning a carbonara that resembled a watery scrambled egg (which would be considered sacrilege in his native Italy), Davide will always be a truly memorable contestant.
7 Ekin-Su
When she wasn’t creating new and innovative ways to deceive her partner, Davide, (like literally crawling across the villa’s terrace to avoid detection in order to kiss a new islander), Ekin-Su had a real penchant for stirring the pot, though not Davide’s carbonara (which certainly could have done with her spoon rotational services). A self-proclaimed Turkish soap actor, Ekin-Su certainly brought her drama skills to Mallorca and was a spicy addition to a season that lacked a real kick.
6 Adam Collard
This specimen was made for Love Island. Tall, dark, handsome, with a Herculean physique, Adam Collard was a complete and utter bastard. It is a common belief amongst the Love Island faithful that Casanova learned his ways from watching Adam Collard in action. A misogynist, a womanizer, a conniving manipulator, and arguably the most prolific love rat that has stepped foot in the Love Island villa, he was the first islander to have appeared on the show in two separate seasons. Spinning more lies than a politician caught up in a sex scandal, the Geordie personal trainer is a menace to women and an enemy of feminism.
5 Chris Hughes
“Do you want me to rap? Anyone? Lift the mood a bit,” is a line that has been regurgitated annually, via meme form for every series since. The great orator of that beloved phrase? Chris Hughes, of course. Hughes’ experience was characterized by a particularly tempestuous and destructive relationship with fellow islander, Olivia Attwood.
The pair were at almost constant loggerheads, before inevitably kissing and making up, and then very quickly descending into another argument. The end of the so-called “Honeymoon” period doesn’t bear thinking about. It wasn’t his meager attempt at a relationship that won fans over, but rather his platonic bromance with Kem Cetinay, with the two striking up a flourishing brotherly love.
4 Maura Higgins
Maura Higgins would have had Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte trembling if someone with her linguistic repertoire was around in the 19th century, her mind-blowing ardor for the language of love would see her regularly use phrases like “He’s giving me fanny-flutters” when expressing her interest in a potential suitor. Maura was a fiery contestant that wore her heart on her sleeve, was never afraid to speak her mind, and was always game for some good old-fashioned confrontation.
3 Kady McDermott
Kady McDermott makes your mum’s shouting sound like singing. With medusa-like eyes that penetrate your soul when she glares, Kady was the villa’s queen of histrionics. With deceivingly angelic looks and a butter-wouldn’t-melt demeanor, any girl that would dare cross while on her path in her pursuit of lover Scott would be in receipt of her merciless wrath.
2 Alex George
In an unprecedented Love Island first, the show’s producers managed to procure someone who not only had more than one brain-cell, but who actually had a degree in medicine and was a fully-fledged A&E doctor: Alex George, aka Dr. Alex. Impressive. Unfortunately for Alex, being a Bachelor of Science didn’t translate to being an eligible bachelor on the show, and he subsequently failed his doctorate in love.
Gangly, awkward, and seemingly a permanent shade of lobster-like red as his pale skin perished in the Mediterranean sun, Dr. Alex was unable to resuscitate his Love Island experience, and perhaps further proof that nice guys never win when it comes to romance (or at least romance with chemically and surgically altered TV contestants)…
1 Ovie Soko
Has there ever been a cooler man to grace the island of Mallorca, let alone that converted a farmhouse? Ovie Soko, a professional basketball player for the GB team, brought relaxed, unperturbed vibes when he rocked up to Casa Amor in the fifth season. Visibly unfazed by the idiocy that surrounded him, this man was there simply for an all-expenses-paid, all-inclusive holiday at a luxury villa.