Vin Diesel and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson reportedly squashed one of the biggest beefs Hollywood has ever seen. And when I say that, I mean it literally and figuratively. These are two massive men both in person and on the silver screen, and had they not "worked things out" there's a good chance The Fate of the Furious would be the last film in this storied franchise.
So why exactly were Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and Vin Diesel not getting along? Well, it had to do with The Rock's character and Jason Statham's character. These two guys appeared on screen so much, and with such a great chemistry, that naturally a spin-off, Fast & Furious movie was bandied about. A scene was even put at the end of The Fate of the Furious to tease this.
Well, Vin Diesel, who had been irked by the overly positive reception of The Rock's character in early screenings, immediately had Universal dump that scene. Apparently, they had to recall all the movie prints and the whole thing could've been a big a fiasco. This came after The Rock posted a missive on his social media channels, calling someone out as a 'candy ass'. That someone happened to be Vin Diesel, who is known for making his co-stars wait. Well, Dwayne Johnson was sick of it. And he went public.
We heard this feud was off, then it was on, and now it is off again, as the two stars prepare to make Fast and Furious 9 happen. Both are confirmed to return. If nothing else, this feud has brought a lot of attention to the release of The Fate of the Furious. Sure, it probably would've done great at the global box office, but there's no doubt that people went to see the off screen animosity that had to have pervaded the onscreen Fate of the Furious world, right? Judge that for yourself but let's be honest, the way this beef was settled was decidedly weak.
So you're telling me that action mavens Vin Diesel and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson put aside their differences for money? You're telling me that the almighty dollar was enough to make these ungodly physical specimens play nice? BORING!!! Who wants to see that?!?! Wouldn't you rather see these guys actually come to blows? Or, at least do something other than play nice and release canned responses to the press about why things are cool? If so, sit back and enjoy all the ways Vin Diesel and The Rock should've squashed their beef."
Okay, we get Sylvester Stallone in as a guest referee. Carl Weathers trains The Rock, and Dolph Lundgren trains Vin Diesel. We make this a 3 minute, 3 round fight, and the winner gets to unequivocally take over the Fast & Furious Franchise. Ludacris and Michelle Rodriguez will call the action. In the actual fight, The Rock starts off strong and drops Diesel in the first round. Diesel, with the help of Dolph Lundgren's fight scenes from Rocky 4, survives and takes the other two rounds to win a hotly contested decision over The Rock. The fans, The Rock and others cry robbery, while Diesel's Dominic Torreto holds onto the Fast & Furious mantle by the skin of his teeth.
MMA or WWE Pay-Per-View bout.
For this epic match-up, MMA star turned actor Randy Couture enters the proceedings. He will be the guest referee. Now, it may seem like The Rock will have the advantage in size, and he will, but with most combat sports, size only matters so much. Initially, this bout will start off like Royce Gracie vs. Dan Severn in UFC 4. It will see The Rock being all over Diesel. This bout will seem to be over. It will look like a total mismatch. Now, I am not saying that Diesel is going to pull through with a triangle choke, but I think, like the many lives of Dominic Toretto, he will submit The Rock when everybody thinks that he can't. Again, Vin Diesel holds on to the Fast & Furious franchise, and maintains negotiating power over everybody. And if it were a pay-per-view event, we're guessing it would probably make more money than the last Fast sequel managed to at the box office.
Again, Sylvester Stallone is tapped to handle these festivities. This event will be held in either Las Vegas, Los Angeles or New York. In fact, Stallone might even be able to get the original arm wrestling device (from his massive memorabilia collection) that the the actors used in the 1986 film. However, this is put together, no matter how much back and forth their is, it seems that The Rock should ultimately triumph. With the beef between these two men squashed, Diesel agrees to appear in a cameo in the spin-off film he tried to nix with The Rock and Jason Statham.
Remake Brokeback Mountain.
Okay, Focus Features may have been the production company on record for Brokeback Mountain, but they are ultimately owned by Universal Filmed Entertainment Group. Yup, the same company that owns the Fast & Furious property. With all that synergy, would it really be hard to imagine a remake of this groundbreaking classic from 2005? Imagine all the buzz for the this project? These two guardians of masculinity strip it all away to tell this timeless love story. People like myself could write lists for years about with actor should play Jack Twist? Which one should play Ennis Del Mar? Who would be their Alma? Then, imagine if James Wan or Justin Lin took a crack at directing this material? It could make Brokeback Mountain a bigger film than ever before. Maybe one that continues to be revisited?
Talk it out over cake on The Rock's Youtube Channel.
After selling the rights to this discussion to the highest bidder (network or cable), Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson sit down and honestly discuss their feud over slices of cake. They don't hold back, they don't play for the press, they don't say things we have heard a million times before. Maybe they have different pieces of cake and they share them? They could even put the forks into each other's mouths a few times if they are feeling comfortable enough? However, the kicker would be that the cake would be the product of all the directors of the Fast & Furious films. That's right, Rob Cohen, Justin Lin, James Wan, F. Gary Gray, John Singleton, Philip Atwell and any other directors we left out, will be entering to the kitchen to make the cake that these monsters of action devour.
Literally kiss and make-up on a Jumbotron.
Again, NBC-Universal could sell the broadcast to the highest bidder. They could shoot this on one of the seminal sound stages from the Fast & Furious franchise. I am thinking that this beef squasher goes something like this: Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson walk out, apologize to one another, embrace and then literally try and give each other a throat culture. It doesn't have to last long. However, the longer it lasts, the more speculation there will be that viewers can see this scene reenacted again in future Fast films.
End the Fast and Furious franchise.
This is probably the idea that is least likely to happen. Basically, I am thinking that, so strong are the commitments from both actors to never feud like this again, that they literally stop making the Fast & Furious movies. Now, before all of you pile on me and say, "That would never happen! There's too much money to be made!! You're an idiot!! Why did MovieWeb even hire you!!" (editor's note: we didn't hire this guy, he just keeps leaving these stories in our inbox) Let me just say that even though the fast films would be done, perhaps the characters of Dominic Toretto and Hobbs could re-team in a different film that was exactly like a Fast & Furious film? In fact, all the other characters could be reassembled, the main thing that would be different would be this potential franchises title.