'Do you want to see something really scary?' Those are the immortal words whispered by Dan Aykroyd in Twilight Zone: The Movie. And even though his ambulance driver has surely seen a lot of horrifying things in his life, nothing could have prepared him for this! 80sTees, which traffics in novelty T-Shirts and pop memorabilia, sent out its Halloween newsletter this past week, and on the cover were a couple of very frightening costumes. No, it's not what you're thinking. There are no zombies, aliens or vampires here. These costumes bring four average New Yorkers together, and if you don't have enough friends, this ensemble just isn't going to work.
The scariest part about these costumes may just be the people wearing them. When seen on their own, it looks like people. Nothing special about it. Except these models all look like they escaped from the insane asylum. It's strange that a company is asking as much as $70 dollars for one of these 'authentic' Seinfeld costumes, based on the hit TV show. Any enterprising young man or woman could probably raid their own closet for a better rendition. And if not, the local thrift store in any given town, even one as small as Philomath, Oregon or Dierks, Arkansas, will surely have what you're looking for if your goal is to look like a short, fat balding man.
Their are five costumes altogether, including ones for Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus' Elaine, Michael Richards's Cosmo Kramer, Jason Alexander's George Costanza and Larry Thomas' Soup Nazi. Thankfully, they are not selling jeans, tennis shoes, and a button up shirt with a mullet wig for Jerry Seinfeld. Because that would be ridiculious. But his costume might just be the key to tying this whole ensemble together. Instead of a true Jerry costume, 80sTees is selling the Puffy Shirt, otherwise known as the worst thing you could wear on national television. If Seinfeld taught us anything, it's that you shouldn't just politely agree when a low talker mumbles something and you are tired of asking them to repeat themselves. So be weary when one of your friends suggest you all head out as the cast of his favorite 90s sitcom on Halloween night. How cares if this is as close as you'll ever get to seeing a reunion. It's not worth it!
With the George Costanza costume kit, you get to look just like Jerry Seinfeld's disturbed, depressed, and inadequate best friend. This costume kit includes a flannel shirt, glasses and a wig. According to the site, the bald portion of the wig is intentionally albino white, so you can apply make-up to match your skin tone. The kit also includes a name tag that can be worn or removed so that people know you are actually wearing a costume should you decide to trek out on your own. Perhaps even scarier is the Cosmo Kramer costume. Slide into this, and you will look 'just' like the "K-Man", Jerry Seinfeld's intrusive neighbor. This costume includes a wild Kramer wig, Kramer pants, and Kramer's famous lobster shirt, which is sewn into his jacket. You can also purchase the shirt on its own.
Out of the five costumes available, Elaine has us asking, 'Why?' Why is this even a costume? According to 80sTees, this Elaine costume will have you looking just like the "queen of the castle" from the classic comedy. The Elaine costume includes a wig, a name tag and Elaine's trademark long dress. But really, doesn't it look like...Just a woman? Any woman? Do you really want to spend the night telling your friends who you are supposed to be? Thankfully, the Soup Nazi costume spells it out for you right on the front of the shirt. "No Soup For You" is recognized as one of the most iconic quotes from the acclaimed sitcom, and now you can look 'just' like the popular character. This costume includes a white jacket (which features the quote No Soup For You! and the name Soup Nazi), a scarf, and a mustache. You can take a look at of these heinous costumes here. And if you truly must own one, all of which cost over $45, you can click here. Honestly, we think you could do better at the local vintage store.