There are few television shows that can be considered a cornerstone of pop culture and entertainment, as well as a modern-day sitcom classic, Seinfeld is without a doubt one of them. With nine seasons and close to two hundred episodes, Seinfeld is not only one of the most successful comedies of all time but one of the most quotable pieces of entertainment in history.

Updated May 15, 2023: If you love Seinfeld, you will be glad to know that this article has been updated with additional content by Yosra Ben Lagha.

While the series boasts an impressive roster of hilarious characters, it is Jerry himself who has some of the most iconic and memorable lines throughout the show, and they are typically lines that refer back to the personality and character overall throughout the series. Sit back, let serenity take you over, and let's examine Jerry Seinfeld's most iconic quotes.

13 “What could possess anyone to throw a party? I mean, to have a bunch of strangers treat your house like a hotel room.”

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When Jerry and Elaine are brought along to a party at George's coworker's house on Long Island, the two friends of Costanza get caught up in numerous conversations, and they are eager to escape. This favorite Jerry quote from the episode really helps define a key character trait of Seinfeld, as his dislike of parties, large groups, and people, in general, is really reflected in this line.

12 “Sex, that’s meaningless, I can understand that, but dinner; that’s heavy. That’s like an hour.”Number 9 - Seinfeld-1

Throughout the series, the four main protagonists in Seinfeld have an endless run of one-night stands and short-lived relationships, often with one of them breaking up or being broken up with for a hilariously superficial reason. In this season nine episode, Jerry and the gang have a running joke about his girlfriend at the time's stomach, which he thinks makes a funny voice saying "hellooo." Referring to Elaine's on-again, off-again relationship with David Puddy, Jerry declares his opinions on sex and dinner and the commitment both take.

11 "Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it. It's too risky. You get a sense of it, and then you look away."

George talking to Jerry at the diner in Seinfeld
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No sitcom is ever complete without the sexual-humor element and the slightly awkward and funny situations it usually brings about. While Jerry Seinfeld and George Costanza were in the waiting room for their script to be read and hopefully approved, the very beautiful and magnetic daughter of their manager walks in. They have a short casual conversation, and then Jerry slightly pokes Costanza to show him the girl's cleavage.

Related: Seinfeld: George Costanza's Most Iconic Quotes, Ranked

However, the latter gets really distracted and looks for too long, completely oblivious to how unsubtle his looks are. The father walks in and catches Costanza peeping. When finally at home, Jerry rebukes George and tries to pass on some cleavage wisdom of his own to his socially awkward friend.

10 “If you want to make a person feel better after they sneeze, you shouldn’t say ‘God bless you.’ You should say, ‘You’re so good-looking!’”

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When George says "god bless you" following the sneeze of one of his friends at dinner, the friend's husband becomes upset and angry after George jokes about this rudeness for not acknowledging the sneeze. Touched by the kindness of George's gesture, the two begin having an affair. Ever the observant comedian, Jerry remarks about a new potential phrase for when someone sneezes, and thus an iconic Seinfeld quote was born.

9 "I can’t go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?”

Cast of Seinfeld
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We've all endured a long wait at a restaurant at one point or another in our lives. That is the focal point of this season 2, titled "The Chinese Restaurant." As Jerry, Elaine, and George wait for a table to eat dinner before going to see the classically bad Ed Wood-directed film Plan 9 from Outer Space, they are rebuffed at every attempt to get a table much quicker.

When Elaine and George decide they can no longer wait and want to leave, Jerry is left with the prospect of going to see the film by himself, one he is not too keen on. The comedian does not want to have to make sarcastic remarks to strangers during the film, ah, the vanity.

8 “People don’t turn down money! It’s what separates us from the animals”

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This season two episode finds Elaine with an opportunity to get a nice apartment in Jerry's building following the death of a tenant. With Elaine poised to get the apartment and Jerry hesitant about living so close to her, when Kramer suggests maybe Elaine won't take the apartment, Seinfeld gives his honest opinion on the separation from humans to animals...it's all about the money.

7 “Today’s almost over. And weekdays always go by fast. Friday we’re leaving. It’s like two days, really. It’s like a cup of coffee. It will go by like that.”

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As Elaine accompanies Jerry on a trip to visit his parents in Florida, the vacation is quickly derailed by a thermostat controlled by consistently cold elderly people and a night spent sleeping on a pull-away bed. As Elaine suffers from overheating and a sore, stiff back, Jerry tries to provide her with some comfort regarding the remaining days of their trip. Jerry is right, though, weekdays do always go by fast.

6 “I don’t trust the guy. I think he re-gifted, then he de-gifted, and now he’s using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.”

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It is sometimes forgotten the hilarious role that Bryan Cranston played in his sporadic appearances on Seinfeld. Before his runs on Malcolm in the Middle and Breaking Bad, Cranston was the dentist Tim Whatley. It is in this episode from season six that Tim receives a gift of two Super Bowl tickets from Jerry as he is unable to attend the game due to a wedding.

As a return gift, Tim gives Jerry the same label maker that was gifted to him by Elaine at Christmas. When Elaine confronts Whatley about the regifting, he offers her the other Super Bowl ticket leading Jerry to decipher his ulterior motives for a 'Super Bowl sex romp".

5 "You know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to hold the reservation!"

George, Jerry, Puddy, and Elaine in a scene from Seinfeld
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The car reservation scene is one of those scenes in which humor is running naturally high. Interactions between customers and customer care agents sometimes take the wrong turn, but not all customers have the cutting-edge humor of Jerry Seinfeld and can turn a negative situation into something to laugh about. In fact, he made a car reservation, but when he came to the agency to get his order, he was told that they ran out of cars. Frustrated, Jerry has the most sarcastic back-and-forth conversation with the agent, explaining to her what making a reservation means as if it were a complicated notion.

Related: Curb Your Enthusiasm vs. Seinfeld: Which Larry David Series is the Best?

The "dumb it down for them" humor never gets old, especially if it's mixed with passive-aggressive sarcasm. The most important part of the reservation, he insists, is important "the holding. Anybody can just take them!" It could be true that this quote might not be the most memorable, but there is a natural aspect to it that just makes it an instant mood enhancer and worth watching over and over.

4 “And you want to be my latex salesman.”

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Ah, the birth episode of Vandelay Industries. Before Art Vandelay would go on to be the chosen name of George for various schemes throughout the series, he used "Vandelay Industries" as a fake latex company seeking his employment as he attempted to take advantage of the unemployment system. When his scheme is nearly ruined by Kramer, George rushes from the bathroom to stop him, only to stumble and trip over his pants. This prompts Jerry, the supposed fake CEO of the company, to disparage the man trying to be his latex salesman.

3 “I don’t wanna be a pirate.”

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Few things from television pop culture will go down as famously as the puffy shirt worn by Jerry in the season five episode aptly titled "The Puffy Shirt," one of the best episodes of the entire series. When Kramer's low-talking girlfriend asks Jerry to wear her newest shirt on an appearance on The Today Show, Jerry agrees, not knowing 100% what she has asked of him. Upon discovering what the shirt looks like, Kramer attempts to reassure Jerry that he looks good, that he looks like a pirate. Thus, one of the most iconic Jerry lines was born; he simply didn't want to be a pirate.

2 “Hello, Newman.”

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It may not be the wittiest, the funniest, and certainly not the nicest, but it is without a doubt the most iconic Jerry Seinfeld line from the entirety of the show. Although only spoken 18 times throughout the 180-episode series, anytime we felt Newman approaching, Jerry's disdain-filled greeting was sure to follow. Newman, during his appearances, was at times the funniest part of the episode while also helping to facilitate the most iconic Jerry line.

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