A bit of trivia: In Korea, it is traditional to take potential business associates to Soju Town and throw the mean stuff down their throats. It’s a personality lubricant. A liquid lie detector. If you want to know everything there is to know about the person you’re going to jump into bed with, Soju will do the trick.

In this fast moving world of media and entertainment, one might be weary of stepping on someone else’s toes. You don’t want to make enemies. A reviewer might not completely, appropriately bash the sh*t pile that Steven Spielberg has left on their stoop after ringing the doorbell and running away. Why? For fear that Steve might actually read their next drawer-hidden script and call them out as a genius.

Here at Soju After Movie, we use Soju to remove that hesitation. It clears our minds. It brings out the horrible reality about movies in a way that only Soju can. I guess, what I’m trying to say, is that it turns us into truthful assholes that aren’t about to take a single punch from the multiplex.

Welcome to Episode 4: The Maitreya Hates Us!

A Message from B. Alan Orange: Greetings from K-Town. Last Friday is a little fuzzy. I remember doing many Soju bombs. And calling Blake a jerk. He seemed rather preoccupied with Leo the Film Freak that afternoon (as you will hear in the show). If he says that guy’s name one more time, I’m going to punch him in the face. We did chat about Collateral. And I got to chastise Blake about his love for Little Black Book (what the heck is this dummy thinking?). Tim Robbins, Howard the Duck, and Code 46 took some hits (I thought the film was about John Travolta and a fire truck; little did I know…). And I appropriately showered much love on Shaun of the Dead for the second straight week in a row. Oh, plus, I got to air my grievances about Taco Bell’s new Drive-Through tactics (yes, this does tie into the movie world somehow).

A bit of advice…Skip to the Middle. That’s where the show gets really good.

Part 2 is, again, devoted to DVDs. Especially one in particular. It’s called Moto X Kids, and it’s Clear Channel’s attempt at breaking into the world of movies. It stars Grizzly Adams, Lorenzo Lamas, Phyllis Diller, a chess playing dog, a motorcycle-riding chimp, and Gary Busey. Watching it is like eating a whole sheet of blotter acid. Proof that Satan exists, and that Clear Channel worships the man. Look for a special appearance by the Maitreya and Benjamin Crème. They both appeared to me in the bottom of a bottle of O.B. I drank them. Scary stuff, I tell you...

B. Alan Orange