Spoiler Warning! You are not going to want to read this! You will be mad at yourself all day long. For various reasons. But it's solid information from a solid source!

Ready? Richard Dryfuss does not, I repeat, does not have a cameo in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull...

But a couple of his friends do!

Related: Indiana Jones Gets Massive Fan-Made Radio Drama in The Bridge to Yesterday

Boos! and Whoop-doos!

Guess who's coming to dinner?

Loose lips are flapping all over the place about the upcoming fourth installment of the Indiana Jones series. Everyone involved with the production signed confidentiality agreements, down to those people in Chinatown that chopped the catering truck's vegetables. Lucasfilm has been quite vigilant in reprimanding anyone that has gone against those agreements. We've already seen one actor get fired for spouting dubious information about the film. And a man was arrested after trying to sell stolen computer artifacts that gave away some of the film's bigger secrets. Thing is, I keep bumping into acquaintances that were either on the set or somehow involved in the production (I swear, it seems like everyone in Los Angeles had some sort of involvement in the making of this film). And they've all remained quiet on the subject matter.

Until now.

Now that shooting is over, it seems various individuals are no longer worried about losing their jobs. They have no jobs to lose. And they are talking. A lot. Which kind of pisses me off. I'd like to remain spoiler free. I don't want to know everything about a film before I even get a chance to see it. I know other websites have been sitting on quite a bit of crucial plot elements. And we don't usually delve too deep into scoop territory here.

But I have to share this.

What I saw this weekend was just too weird. The fact that it is true has crippled my anticipation towards seeing Indy 4. On the one hand, it's sort of cool. In a George Lucas Star Wars Holiday Special sort of way. If you can call Bea Arthur dancing with Walrusman cool. Most can't. So, you best turn away now if you don't want to be privy to this information.

Seriously. Go home...

Still there? Okay. I warned you.

To celebrate Close Encounters of the Third Kind's 30th anniversary, Spielberg has gone into the storage warehouse and dusted off those rubber Extraterrestrial dummies for a cameo appearance in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. You are probably wishing that I made that up. But, no, I am not.

Boos! and Whoop-doos!

Original CEOTTK Alien from the Kobal Collection

The one thing everybody knows about the new Indiana Jones adventure is that it deals with aliens. Of some kind. There is a really cool article over at MTV that gives you all the information you'd ever want to know about the emergence of the Crystal Skull in our culture. How they came to be, what they are, and what many believe they are used for. These artificial artifacts make for the perfect Indiana Jones treasure. Read the article and it will all make sense to you. It's cool.

One of the things that Spielberg has gone on record as saying is that most of the special effects in the film are practical. Now that appears to be true. The aliens in the film are puppets. There are three of them, seated on thrones in The Kingdom (an Aztec structure that turns out to be a spaceship). And, guess what? They bare a striking resemblance to the little naked bald headed midgets that were seen running around at the end of Close Encounters of the Third Kind. They are indeed supposed to be the ascendants of the Extraterrestrials seen in that film. They are related. Though the film doesn't come right out and say that. A lot of kids haven't even seen Close Encounters. They aren't going to get the joke.

This makes sense. Editor Michael Kahn and Steve Spielberg first worked together on Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Kahn has been with Spielberg ever since, and is also editing Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Plus, this isn't the first time that there have been crossovers in the Spielberg-Lucas Universe. Star Wars figures are prominently featured in E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. E.T. and his army of alien friends then showed up in Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace. "THX-1138" shows up on the wing of a plane in Raiders Of The Lost Ark. In Indiana Jones & The Temple Of Doom, the cafe at the beginning of the film bares Obi-Wan Kenobi's name. This type of self-referential "humor" is expected at this point.

The puppets have been updated slightly, and I have no idea if they will be modified digitally. But next summer, I have a feeling a lot of people are going to be saying, "Oh, shit...It's the aliens from Close Encounters!" When they see the finished project.

I have mixed feelings on it. On one hand, I think its sort of cool. On the other hand, I think its sort of dumb. At least its not E.T. that has a run in with Henry Jones Junior. For that, we can be grateful. You know it was probably Lucas that suggested it in the first place.

B. Alan Orange