Way back in 1978, George Lucas made what many believe to be the biggest mistake when it comes to the Star Wars franchise outside of the prequel trilogy. And that was giving the okay for the The Star Wars Holiday Special. This train wreck was only broadcast one time on Friday, November 17 before disappearing into the dustbin of history, only to resurface later on low quality bootleg VHS. With the Holiday season in full swing, and Star Wars: The Force Awakens about to arrive in theaters in just 7 short days, Funny or Die has taken it upon themselves to imagine what a new Star Wars 7 Holiday special might look like.
In The Star Wars Holiday Special, BB-8 tries to make it home for Droid Day. It is the only holiday special based solely on the rumor and conjecture about the impending release. And it features a cavalcade of stars, along with with a special performance from Train. Staying true to the themes and style of the original The Star Wars Holiday Special, we get a cast that is led by Jason Alexander, Lydia Hearst, Keith David and DJ Qualls. The opening crawl of the special reads as such.
"As any information about the upcoming Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens is limited to trailers, teasers, and internet speculation, the fearless creators of this Star Wars Holiday Special cobbled together a story with only what they could glean from promotional footage, on-set pictures, rumor and conjecture as to who these characters are and how they would potentially celebrate the robot holiday Droid Day, if that even exists at all. May the Force be with you. If they still say that."
The show opens with Kylo Ren trying to fly BB-8 home through an astroid field as he makes guesses as to his own heritage, and whether or not he is a Skywalker or a Solo. It's a bumpy ride, to be sure. They are headed to Jakku, which Kylo mistakes as Tatooine. Keeping within the spirits of the original 1978 tele-movie, which gave Chewbacca his own family, with a wife, kid and crusty old grandfather, BB-8 gets his own family, too. We get to meet his wife QT-PI, the cantankerous Gr0mp-E, and Lil-8. We're also promised a Droid Day song from Train and a special appearance by Shamu the Killer Whale.
Most of the 9 minute special is presented in droid speak. If you remember, almost the entire 2-hour duration of the original The Star Wars Holiday Special was done in a Wookie language that no human can understand. Not even the kids watching it. Constable Zuvio arrives at the ball droids' home to warn them that Captain Phasma and the First Order are heading towards Jakku. The villains soon show up to cancel Droid Day. And in the middle of it, we get a Target commercial spoofing all of the Star Wars: The Force Awakens merchandise currently sitting on store shelves.
Droid Day can only be saved by a droid who is so beloved by everyone that they inspire the First Order to end their evil reign. We're guessing that droid day savior is BB-8. Will he show up in time to save this beloved holiday? We're not sure. As with the original The Star Wars Holiday Special, it's certainly hard to make it through the entirety of this reboot without fast-forwarding or falling asleep. You can watch all of the Hypothetical Star Wars Holiday Special in the embed below. But you have to stick around until the very end to watch Train perform the special Droid Day song CL-BR8 which features R2-D2. Don't fast forward too far though, or you'll miss the special animated segment featuring Poe, Finn and Rey.